Why I Stopped Watching Porn

[BrightLights]

Just thought I’d share a little tidbit I found. Granted, it’s from a secular perspective but the guy brings up many good points that open discourse about pornography and it’s effect in society. This is definitely becoming something, especially with the whole “nofap” movement and I was very shocked to try and look up this video in google to find it (as I had watched it a few days ago) and the second result was “10 reasons why you should stop watching porn” from GQ of all places!

Video (it’s 15 minutes but well worth it): www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU

If you haven’t heard about the “nofap” movement:
mattfradd.com/interview-with-nofap-founder/

 

[FrenzyJen]

I am against it for a myriad of faith/relationship/self esteem reasons, but when I found out just how big a part even casual porn viewing plays in human trafficking–innocent young women and children being ripped from their homes and sold as sex slaves BECAUSE of porn…I don’t see how people, even athiests, can participate in (even by viewing) it.

 

[edwest2]

Thank you, very much. Porn addiction is too common, but it can spring from multiple reasons: loneliness, being raised in a family that tolerated it or enjoyed it, and being around people who think it’s “no big deal.” And it can also be caused by boredom.

People need friends, they need face to face contact. They need to understand that they have been lied to about sex. That people will tell them abstinence doesn’t work. Your post shows that it is possible to get away from porn because it turns women, who we should respect, into objects The same for men in porn. We need to teach people how real, fulfilling relationships work. Ignore the media. They are not your friend. And movies and TV? They model terrible examples of male-female relationships. They model and show you sexual perversion and relationship perversion.

1. Go and meet someone at a Christian environment.
2. Talk about your beliefs to see if you are on the same page. If not, move on.
3. In any relationship with the opposite sex, trust is earned.
4. That leads to friendship which could lead to dating - without sexual intercourse.
5. You both get to really know each other, which may lead to marriage.
6. You might decide to get married but do not exclude your families. If they are dysfunctional then you should talk to a priest before you get engaged.
7. Sexual immorality is the number one problem facing Western society today. You can help stop it. You can lead a life where you don’t waste your time, or hurt your parents or wife emotionally.
8. Pray to God for the strength. Ask for a true, God-filled, loving relationship.

amazon.com/Extreme-Makeover-Transformed-Conformed-Culture/dp/1586175610

God bless,
Ed

 

[smichhertz]

Very interesting video! Thanks for sharing!

 

[DMC12]

Have you read the comments? it is sad how people say this is feminazi stuff and defend porn.

 

[Estevao]

I’ve had to stop spending time online in the no-fap community. The vast majority of them seem to be only doing it because they think it will make them more able to have more sex with more women.

Also I’m really starting to think that all this talk about “porn is such a problem, we need to talk about it more and more” isn’t helping. Just read what these no-fap gurus say: “porn” and “porn” that. When you talk about this sin so much (or make a living off of it like Matt Fradd does) you give a life to something that it doesn’t deserve and shouldn’t have. All that is necessary is to take it to confession, repent and leave it behind and stop talking and obsessing about it.

And then you got the alleged catechism called the “YouCat” which implies that masturbation isn’t all that bad, whereas the real catechism says it’s a grave sin. So we move from talking about it ad nauseum but still condemning it, to talking about it and not condemning it because it might hurt somebody’s feelings.

 

[BrightLights]

I’ve had to stop spending time online in the no-fap community. The vast majority of them seem to be only doing it because they think it will make them more able to have more sex with more women.

I disagree with you to an extent. While I haven’t spent time any of the NoFap forums (because I am a teenage girl with no porn addiction to speak of), I don’t think that it is the best idea to simply dismiss the whole thing just because certain people have these ideas. Porn is a bad idea for all involved, but not everybody has same reasons why they think it’s bad. If a guy gives up porn because he thinks it will help him have sex with more women, then he’ll eventually realise that this won’t work (while it is a good start).

Also I’m really starting to think that all this talk about “porn is such a problem, we need to talk about it more and more” isn’t helping. Just read what these no-fap gurus say: “porn” and “porn” that. When you talk about this sin so much (or make a living off of it like Matt Fradd does) you give a life to something that it doesn’t deserve and shouldn’t have.

I disagree wholeheartedly. While yes, porn is something shameful, and people should feel ashamed for engaging in it in whatever way, sweeping it under the rug isn’t going to help anyone. Part of the reason people, especially young people, are so addicted to these worldly things is because we are so misinformed. Like it or not, the media is going to keep selling sex for one reason and one reason alone: it works! Healthy discourse on this issue is the way forward, seeing one side (aka the media’s) of the story isn’t going to change anyone’s already formed opinion.

If we do what you suggest:

take it to confession, repent and leave it behind and stop talking and obsessing about it.

Young people will not listen! This generation is much more well-informed that the previous. They are thirsting for truth and are unsatisfied with just people told something is wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it. Besides, this whole point of yours is a contradictions within itself: it takes a lot of courage to go to confession and bring something such as porn up because of the shame surrounding it. How do we expect a porn-addict to get serious help if we don’t encourage them? “Stop talking and obsessing about it” Ugh are you actually serious? Porn addiction is alive and it is a real psychological issue. Would you tell someone with an eating disorder to just eat something? Or someone who self-harms to just stop doing that?

And then you got the alleged catechism called the “YouCat” which implies that masturbation isn’t all that bad, whereas the real catechism says it’s a grave sin. So we move from talking about it ad nauseum but still condemning it, to talking about it and not condemning it because it might hurt somebody’s feelings.

I haven’t read the YouCat so my source is this website: ignatius.com/promotions/youcat/youcat_faq.html#masturbation
I don’t disagree with anything they’ve said. I also think there’s a really big difference between saying porn/masturbation is a sin but still continuing to do it (due to addiction) and trying to argue its morality. At least in that we stand on common ground.

 

[Estevao]

I disagree with you to an extent. While I haven’t spent time any of the NoFap forums (because I am a teenage girl with no porn addiction to speak of), I don’t think that it is the best idea to simply dismiss the whole thing just because certain people have these ideas. Porn is a bad idea for all involved, but not everybody has same reasons why they think it’s bad. If a guy gives up porn because he thinks it will help him have sex with more women, then he’ll eventually realise that this won’t work (while it is a good start).

I avoid these forums basically because they have a worldly mentality. This is what Pope Francis has mentioned a lot to avoid. Sure they might stop looking at porn (although from my experiences in the forums people are generally not that successful, which in my view is because they obsess over it: “porn this and porn that”).

However at the heart of it all is the same view that goes into impurity: selfishness and egoism. “I’m not going to take away this pleasurable pasttime unless you can show me how it will benefit me.” “I want to stop ‘fapping’ because that will make girls like me because it will make me more attractive and outgoing.”

I disagree wholeheartedly. While yes, porn is something shameful, and people should feel ashamed for engaging in it in whatever way, sweeping it under the rug isn’t going to help anyone. Part of the reason people, especially young people, are so addicted to these worldly things is because we are so misinformed. Like it or not, the media is going to keep selling sex for one reason and one reason alone: it works! Healthy discourse on this issue is the way forward, seeing one side (aka the media’s) of the story isn’t going to change anyone’s already formed opinion.

If we do what you suggest:
Young people will not listen! This generation is much more well-informed that the previous. They are thirsting for truth and are unsatisfied with just people told something is wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it. Besides, this whole point of yours is a contradictions within itself: it takes a lot of courage to go to confession and bring something such as porn up because of the shame surrounding it. How do we expect a porn-addict to get serious help if we don’t encourage them? “Stop talking and obsessing about it” Ugh are you actually serious? Porn addiction is alive and it is a real psychological issue. Would you tell someone with an eating disorder to just eat something? Or someone who self-harms to just stop doing that?

I don’t mean sweeping the problem under the rug as in ignoring it. That’s what too many priests do today. When’s the last time you’ve been to a mass where sins of impurity were condemned in the homily? And while condemning it you can explain why it’s wrong and the Christian view of sexuality.

What i mean is to stop talking about it as if you were a reprobate. Calling yourself a “porn addict” even though that doesn’t exist in clinical psychiatry and obsessing over it and giving it a life that it doesn’t deserve. Pornography is not an addiction according to clinical psychiatry. While it may be a vice, that is why there is confession. However, we are called to die to ourselves, and to put aside the works of darkness, not to talk and talk and talk about them like Matt Fradd and these no-fap community people do. “porn” this and “porn” that. Or bring up a bunch of excuses “Oh nobody ever told me anything”, “oh I’m not really at fault, oh I’m not doing anything that bad, please don’t demonize this sin, I do it because…”

Also the only reason it takes a lot of courage to confess this is because of our pride. Think about it, people are more concerned about what somebody might think about them than the destiny of their souls…

 

[Estevao]

part 2/2

I haven’t read the YouCat so my source is this website: ignatius.com/promotions/youcat/youcat_faq.html#masturbation
I don’t disagree with anything they’ve said. I also think there’s a really big difference between saying porn/masturbation is a sin but still continuing to do it (due to addiction) and trying to argue its morality. At least in that we stand on common ground.

That website quotes the harmful article from this alleged catechism.

Today is Good Friday. THIS DAY THE FLESH OF OUR BLESSED LORD HUNG LIKE PURPLE RAGS FOR OUR SINS OF IMPURITY. And this so-called catholic catechism makes light of this by not mentioning that masturbation is a GRAVE SIN: “The church does not demonize masturbation”. Yes she does. If you die with a mortal sin on your soul you will go to hell, and there you will be tormented by demons for eternity. That is the definition of demonizing.

“For fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4)

“Neither fornicators… nor adulterers… shall possess the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

That alleged catechism does not tell the people the truth. The truth sets us free. Instead it uses the typical vague post Vatican II language so as to not hurt people feelings. No there’s no out and out heresy there, but there’s not the full truth. “An offense against love” - what the heck is that? How does that teach your typical poorly catechized catholic anything useful? No, sin is an offense against God.

The YouCat doesn’t condemn masturbation. Many priests today will never do so in a homily either. Young people aren’t listening exactly because of this useless YouCat. You can go to mass for months and months and get the same forgettable homilies about being nice, and there’s no teaching people about the faith, there’s no condemnation of sins that lead people to hell.

We live in a world that tells us that porn and masturbation is a good thing, a healthy endeavor for young people to partake in. THIS IS A LIE RIGHT FROM SATAN HIMSELF. And the YouCat plays along with this by not recognizing that young catholics generally know nothing of what the church teaches. The world has lost its sense of sin, and the YouCat plays along with this. I don’t have my YouCat on me right now, but does it even condemn contraception? The vast majority of cahotlics who go to mass use contraception. Contraception is instrinsically evil. Don’t you think why so many catholics use it is because they aren’t told that it’s intrinsically evil and why? Same for porn. This is my point.