Why is becoming Catholic so hard?!

[PbloPicasso]

The word “Harshly” may not be the preferred choice here. RCIA is not a rubber stamp in the door. It is a spiritual process that unfolds the truth before individuals on a journey. That journey is sometiems very difficult. I’ve known people to stay in the program for a few years. I was insulted when the pastor wanted my wife to go through it. In my pride I didn’t want to go because I thought I knew, because I WAS a SEMINARIAN ONCE. My own ignorant pride got in the way. However, I chose to go with her to support her and found that I learned so much about the faith that I never knew. Sure, I knew a lot, but only after re-submerging myself into it before she was allowed to discern. It was that extra effort that caused our DRE and Pastor to let us in the door.

The steps we made together helped us through our journey. But neither of us had an impediment to marriage. We both came from very religious Protestant families. My dad was the Catholic, Traditional. He tried, but started way to late in my teenage years. It was enough for me to discern a vocation in the seminary. However, the strength of my family was not enough to bear the trials I went through in the seminary and my Diocese. Long story.

Take your time and learn. The early Christians had to go for 3 years I’ve read. The journey through RCIA is on the tip of the iceberg and if you get to go through it repeatedly then you are surely learning much. It is not enough to say we’re Catholic. We must believe and be open to doing whatever is required of us to walk that faith - even if it means to walk away from an invalid marriage. Thank God I didn’t have to do that. But i would have if it were necessary. I’d have lived as brother and sister at the most since our children are so young.

May Christ be with you every step of your journey. Actually, He is there with you. It’s just a nice way of saying the same and wishing you well.

 

[achmafooma]

Reading the posts here makes me a bit nervous. One poster indicated they have been in RCIA for five years…is this typical? That does sound like an awfully long time.

Hello, Journey. While there is a lot of variance from place to place and parish to parish, I think it’s safe to say that these are not ‘typical’ experiences.

At my own home parish, it is very rare for anybody to be in the RCIA program more than one season (~October-May). We would only hold somebody back if we had serious questions about their dedication, or if they had intentionally neglected to participate in the class (without a good reason), or if there was some other serious impediment to their being welcomed into full communion and receiving the Sacraments.

We also do our best to work with people if their work responsibilities get in the way. We have had participants who are police officers or in the military who can’t come every week, and so we do one-on-one sessions with them to make sure they don’t miss anything. We’ve also started (this last year) recording sessions for people who have to miss an occasional class.

You will find some programs that are unrealistically demanding, and others that are extremely lax and demand nothing of the catechumens and candidates. I think somewhere in the middle is the ideal . If you have a bad experience at a particular parish, I urge you to try and remedy it with the pastor, or go to another parish if the situation can’t be resolved. Please don’t let bad leadership at a particular parish turn you away from the Church that Christ founded! It’s all worth it in the end.

I first want to start by telling you, I left the RCIA program for similar reasons before I was confirmed. I had also had the problem about joining…I had to wait a full year to join, and once I had, the program was AWFUL! I had been a serious and devout Christian for 3 years (seems short, but I’m young). I lived, breathed and prayed scripture, doctrine, studying, church, Mass, Christian music,…my life was christian oriented. And I began in the program treated as a moron. Although it may have been assuming I knew nothing, I wish they had gotten to know me, or even asked where I came from or why I was seeking the church. Gosh, 5 classes in the program, I wanted to escape so badly!!! It was demeaning to be asked such simple questions as “Who is the Son or God?” or “Do you know what the trinity means?”

I sympathize with your troubles. I had also spent a lot of time learning on my own before entering RCIA, and those first classes especially were pretty awful because I already knew it all! You must remember that not everybody in the class is at the same place in their journey that you are. RCIA, like any ‘school,’ has to try and find a path that suits everybody. It will move too fast for some, and too slow for others. Some people are coming in without knowing the first thing about Catholicism or Christianity, while some (like yourself) are more advanced. Please don’t let that discourage you!

I would urge you to speak to your pastor. He has the authority to judge your readiness and, if he chooses, can let you bypass the full RCIA process. We have had people do this at our parish, if they have convinced Father that they are ready. If you feel that the RCIA program and/or Pastor at that parish won’t work with you, you can always try a different parish. I don’t usually encourage parish hopping, but bringing people home into full communion is important enough and you have to do it somewhere you feel comfortable.

My main thesis for both of you: don’t get discouraged! The Church is made up of people, and people ain’t perfect. As such, RCIA isn’t perfect. But stick with it! It’s worth it!

God bless you.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Reading the posts here makes me a bit nervous. One poster indicated they have been in RCIA for five years…is this typical? That does sound like an awfully long time.

One thing that can cause long times in RCIA is marriage issues. If a candidate or spouse is in a second marriage that has to be dealt with first and it can take some time. When I have someone with marriage issues inquire about RCIA I encourage them to meet with the pastor even before they begin Inquiry.

 

[laurandrws]

I would urge you to speak to your pastor. He has the authority to judge your readiness and, if he chooses, can let you bypass the full RCIA process. We have had people do this at our parish, if they have convinced Father that they are ready. If you feel that the RCIA program and/or Pastor at that parish won’t work with you, you can always try a different parish. I don’t usually encourage parish hopping, but bringing people home into full communion is important enough and you have to do it somewhere you feel comfortable.

Thanks for the encouragement. The problem is that I knew the preist well, and he had known me for 3 years. But the program was run by him and a couple. Although he knew where I was at, and that I yearned to learn more in depth theology, the couple didn’t really listen to him, or really desire to change or alter the class at all.
Anyway, I’m considering starting RCIA when I move to college in the fall. I am going to a Jesuit school and don’t know if I can do the program there, or if I’d only be considered Jesuit, which I don’t want.

 

[laurandrws]

I would urge you to speak to your pastor. He has the authority to judge your readiness and, if he chooses, can let you bypass the full RCIA process. We have had people do this at our parish, if they have convinced Father that they are ready. If you feel that the RCIA program and/or Pastor at that parish won’t work with you, you can always try a different parish. I don’t usually encourage parish hopping, but bringing people home into full communion is important enough and you have to do it somewhere you feel comfortable.

Thanks for the encouragement. The problem is that I knew the preist well, and he had known me for 3 years. But the program was run by him and a couple. Although he knew where I was at in learning and faith, and that I yearned to learn more in depth theology, the couple didn’t really listen to him, or really desire to change or alter the class at all. It was a very uncomfortable situation because Father didn’t have any control really. Perhaps for others it would have worked, but for me it was just uncomfortable.
Anyway, I’m considering starting RCIA when I move to college in the fall. I am going to a Jesuit school and don’t know if I can do the program there, or if I’d only be considered Jesuit, which I don’t want. Does anyone know?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Anyway, I’m considering starting RCIA when I move to college in the fall. I am going to a Jesuit school and don’t know if I can do the program there, or if I’d only be considered Jesuit, which I don’t want. Does anyone know?

Campus ministries generally offer RCIA. When you are received into the Church you are Catholic. The only way you could be considered Jesuit would be to join that order.

 

[babygirlmock]

you clearly dont understaind what this is even about i am Roman Catholic have been my whole life i was born and raised in my faith but my family believed it is my right to choose so as a baby i was not baptized i am in the rcia program now and even though 98% of this i know i still love the time i spend in class, It is not the end u need to look at, it seems all you want out of this is Communion and while yes that will be amazing at the right time, for now it seams the u need to spend more time in adoration, and understainding this is something between you and god nothing to do with u and your wife and god, while i do understaind you wanted to get married it was you that desided to get married first knowing it would push this back more and for you to just walk in and demand to be baptized is so wrong in so many ways starting with you have spent so many years turning your back on god and to think you can just make up for that in a matter of months is crazy clearly he is making you show your loyalty to him you need to spend alot more time praying to him asking for him to forgive you and asking him to guide you to him and asking for him to help you understaind why this is going on, not get mad about it cause infact talking about his bride like this is a SIN!!! remmeber the catholic church is his bride and you need to remind yourself of that everyday.These classes arent for couples it is for you and you alone to be one with god and while you might be ready shes not or shes ready and your not they should have told you from the begining it can take years in order to get to the point of Communion and no two people get there at the same time its not just the motions its the mind set, yes you may do the sign of the cross but i get the feeling its not in your soul yet and ones its over you will be ones of those that leave right after Communion your god forbid be one that gets there right before and leave right after, and do nothing but run your mouth about all this things you dont full understaind but say you do cause you read one book one time, and the fact that you think you can just jump around and they treat you like you have been there sents the begining is crazy! THEY DONT KNOW YOU THEY DONT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVENT DONE YOU COULD HAVE JUST WALKED IN THERE SAYING WHATEVER YOU WANTED!!! You desided all the things you did you have to understaind that, btw your not married in the church no true catholic would ever do that EVER!!! I know catholics that wouldnt even go to a wedding if it was in any other church. so by doing that will they said yes go on and you can later on only because they would never tell anyone no the church will never demand you to choose them cause god wants you to choose him in your own will you were choosing her over god!!! In the catholic church that in and of itself makes them think your not really ready now yes i understaind you two didnt want her to leave and wanted to be together and thats sweet and all but you did choose eachother over god so yes you need to prove yourself even more and you need to understaind that as well. so start praying for understainding of why hes choosing this path for you and come to understaind god lets things happen in his owntime not in yours!!!