Hello Della,
Yes–but only in confession. The priest has the responsibility to assess penitents’ confessions–to decide if he will grant absolution. The penitent must have sorrow for and abhorrence of sins committed (mortal sins), and the firm purpose of sinning no more in the future. If he doesn’t, the priest is within his rights to withhold absolution. Priests usually try to elicit one of these requirements from the penitent in confession because they want to be able to absolve rather than withhold absolution, if possible. They deal with people all the times who are in every circumstance imaginable. Theirs is a heavy responsibility which the vast majority take very seriously.
There is a difference between granting absolution, as a sacrament, and forgiving. For example, a priest may forgive the confessor personally and he may certainly believe and even communicate that God has forgiven them. However, I can definitely see good reason to withhold absolution, because absolution involves reconciliation, which involves both God and penitent. For example, I can see this statement reflecting the Gospel:
“Though God forgives you, you remain far from being reconciled because you are thinking that what you did was not hurtful. The sacrament is reserved for those who own their hurtful actions and are sorrowful, showing that they are in relation. Your insistence continues to indicate an alienation, so the sacrament is misplaced at this time.”
On the other hand, all sacraments are signs of what happened already, is happening in the moment, or will happen in the future. Indeed, such faith is the only practical and merciful mindset toward those presented at baptism and those who come forth in Confirmation. People can be dishonest, for sure, or not even realize that they are saying they repent without actually knowing what it means to repent. They may not even be aware of their own will!
What we can know is that God always forgives. The person who does not have sorrow or abhorrence is in the same condition as the crowd who hung Jesus, who were forgiven. Reconciliation, however, involves a seeing eye-to-eye, and the unsorrowful or unrepentant are definitely alienated.
All considered, though, a priest should be extremely hesitant about proclaiming that God has not forgiven someone. God always forgives us.
Yes, the priest’s responsibility is to assess if the person is willing to be reconciled to God and the Church in confession.
And this is my point too, but acknowledgement of reconciliation is a completely separate issue than the whole aspect of “retention”, which seems to have no pertinence here. If it is pertinent, then these questions are also very pertinent:
I, for example, retain the sins of no one, and surely there are priests who do the same. So, does God choose which priests on which to base His retention? If so, why would He choose the priest who forgives everyone, which is His call to us (and a gift of the Spirit), rather than the priest who retains?
Bottom line: there is a huge difference between saying “God does not fogive you” and “You are not reconciled, you are still alienated.” To me, it behooves the priest to help the penitent find the place in his own heart where he is sorrowful. It is there, and it may take more time than the priest has in the moment. Perhaps the most appropriate response in extreme cases might be, “God forgives you, but we still have some things to discuss before I can grant you absolution, so please come back and …”