Why is God giving me the silent treatment?

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Lately, I’ve been feeling very spiritually dry. I know it is normal to go through dry spells like this.

I don’t mean I want to have “fuzzy feelings” about God though. In fact, I’ve grown to rather prefer not relying on such feelings. They’re good once in a while, but I do prefer my love for God to be motivated strictly by choice than by feelings. It feels more genuine that way, in my opinion.
What my real problem is that, as of late, I feel like my faith is being shaken up easier. Of course there’s nothing wrong with pondering why we believe what we believe, but…I guess I have this habit of trying to understand the viewpoint of those who don’t believe…and it’s kind of been having a negative effect on me. I’m constantly looking for the logic behind everything we believe in. Some things are harder than others. I’m still trying to feel comfortable with the whole original sin thing (I made a forum about this little a while back). Then, there are some who think of Catholicism as a cult and my brain tries to imagine what it’s like believing that. This habit is making me question myself; Am I starting to believe these things??

I’m desperately trying to grasp on to the little mustard seed speck of faith I have left in me. Jesus says that’s all it takes, after all…but…when I pray, even if I try to quiet myself and to hear Him speak to me and converse with Him (not physically “hearing” Him, but feeling Him speak to me, you know?), He’s been silent. In my anxiety, I asked Him to at least tell me He loves me as a small speck on consolation; still nothing. Why would he deny me even that? Wouldn’t even a human at least do that? It’s like pouring salt on a wound 😦
 
I’ve been there, too. I’ve begged God to just show me a little bit of His love for me, and I’ve begged Him to give me a little tiny bit of consolation, because I felt so abandoned, for no reason, I thought. It didn’t happen because, as I discovered, I was filling my mind with things I shouldn’t have been filling my mind with. You mentioned reading those things about the Church being a “cult”. This isn’t spiritually healthy, it’s opening a door for bad thoughts to come in and fester. I’ve also been there and I remember all the supposedly bad things I was told about the Catholic Church were, in the end, nothing but lies. Easily refutable lies, in fact, but then I couldn’t see it.

Finally at the end of my rope, I asked my parish priest, who told me to go outside and sit for an hour in nature (it wasn’t the middle of winter at the time) and just LISTEN. Don’t pray or talk, just LISTEN. That was the best advice. I highly recommend saying a prayer to the Holy Spirit and trying it, not necessarily outdoors, and don’t try to “empty your mind”, for that isn’t Catholic meditation, but try to listen for the voice of God. Maybe this dryness is His way of bringing you in closer. God bless, I hope you find peace.
 
roseproject said:
Lately, I’ve been feeling very spiritually dry. I know it is normal to go through dry spells like this.

I don’t mean I want to have “fuzzy feelings” about God though. In fact, I’ve grown to rather prefer not relying on such feelings. They’re good once in a while, but I do prefer my love for God to be motivated strictly by choice than by feelings. It feels more genuine that way, in my opinion.
What my real problem is that, as of late, I feel like my faith is being shaken up easier. Of course there’s nothing wrong with pondering why we believe what we believe, but…I guess I have this habit of trying to understand the viewpoint of those who don’t believe…and it’s kind of been having a negative effect on me. I’m constantly looking for the logic behind everything we believe in. Some things are harder than others. I’m still trying to feel comfortable with the whole original sin thing (I made a forum about this little a while back). Then, there are some who think of Catholicism as a cult and my brain tries to imagine what it’s like believing that. This habit is making me question myself; Am I starting to believe these things??

I’m desperately trying to grasp on to the little mustard seed speck of faith I have left in me. Jesus says that’s all it takes, after all…but…when I pray, even if I try to quiet myself and to hear Him speak to me and converse with Him (not physically “hearing” Him, but feeling Him speak to me, you know?), He’s been silent. In my anxiety, I asked Him to at least tell me He loves me as a small speck on consolation; still nothing. Why would he deny me even that? Wouldn’t even a human at least do that? It’s like pouring salt on a wound 😦
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I have a few questions:
Are you involved in a Bible study or continuing faith formation group at your parish?
Do you have a regular confessor, or a Spiritual Director?
Do you have good relationship with your priest, in that you could ring him up and make an appointment to talk over coffee?
Do you have good Catholic friends who are fairly knowledgeable about the faith?

The reason I ask is, that you’re probably not going to get enough info here on the forums to say " ok, never mind, I’m good. Although many will weigh in with wonderful quotes, solid material to read, etc. I hope they do!
But nothing replaces a real convo with a person who is well grounded, and compassionate toward folks who are struggling.

If you are continually reading things that are contrary to the faith, or getting into debates that you may not be totally equipped for with others, then you’re doing yourself a dis-service.
Help yourself, Study. Read, get into a group at the parish that tackles the hard questions, and if there isn’t one, get a Spiritual Director.
I’m sure you know God loves you. Why can’t you accept that? People make a much of God "speaking " to them. God speaks to me in every living thing. Look around. You are probably very blessed in some aspect. These things don’t happen by accident. God is at work. Time for you to do some work on your end. You might read the story of Padre Pio who put up with tremendous persecutions. Ask him to pray for you.
God bless you.
I’ll pray for you.
pianist
 
roseproject said:
Lately, I’ve been feeling very spiritually dry. I know it is normal to go through dry spells like this.

I don’t mean I want to have “fuzzy feelings” about God though. In fact, I’ve grown to rather prefer not relying on such feelings. They’re good once in a while, but I do prefer my love for God to be motivated strictly by choice than by feelings. It feels more genuine that way, in my opinion.
What my real problem is that, as of late, I feel like my faith is being shaken up easier. Of course there’s nothing wrong with pondering why we believe what we believe, but…I guess I have this habit of trying to understand the viewpoint of those who don’t believe…and it’s kind of been having a negative effect on me. I’m constantly looking for the logic behind everything we believe in. Some things are harder than others. I’m still trying to feel comfortable with the whole original sin thing (I made a forum about this little a while back). Then, there are some who think of Catholicism as a cult and my brain tries to imagine what it’s like believing that. This habit is making me question myself; Am I starting to believe these things??

I’m desperately trying to grasp on to the little mustard seed speck of faith I have left in me. Jesus says that’s all it takes, after all…but…when I pray, even if I try to quiet myself and to hear Him speak to me and converse with Him (not physically “hearing” Him, but feeling Him speak to me, you know?), He’s been silent. In my anxiety, I asked Him to at least tell me He loves me as a small speck on consolation; still nothing. Why would he deny me even that? Wouldn’t even a human at least do that? It’s like pouring salt on a wound 😦
Click to expand...
Perhaps it’s time to just have faith that God hears us all the time even though we think He does not respond. I recommend instead of focusing inwards, try doing something for others and pray “for you God.” Everything we do should be done in God’s Name and with Him in mind. God bless you.🙂
 
It’s generally hard to understand what God wants of us. I’m not talking in general here (that part is made abundantly clear in the gospels), I’m talking vocation-wise and in our specific day-to-day decisions that need to be made. I would suggest continuing to pray, read scripture, and just let your heart be open. Sometimes answers come from deep within one’s heart - and sometimes, they come from the mouths of our friends, family members, and complete strangers. And sometimes, they come in the form of a completely unexpected event in one’s life.
 
The teacher is always silent during a test. I’m guessing God wants you to elevate in faith, have no fear! I’ve done the same thing as you; the responses you’ve been given are great. Try counting your blessings, I need to do the same. One blessing that God has given us is this website 👍
 
Because you are asking I will mention that at some point in Teresa of Avillas life Jesus councils her to focus on friendships with people who know him.

Like you said it is normal to go through dry spells, those are the times to pray even more. This is a test of easy discouragement.

That being said, try to move your prayer time to more frequent Eucharistic adoration.

Also, examine yourself carefully to see if you have a habitual sin that offends him that needs weeding out. Make sure to go to confession.

I find that Jesus can’t help but send you consolations when he sees your not phased by slower pace or dryness. Sometimes it is testing and God is letting you be tested to see if you are ready for greater blessing.

Keep praying, fasting, going to confession and do I in secret.

Also learn to be still and to hear him. Lot of us can pray, but few know how to listen.

BK
 
Look up Fatima, the miracle of Guadalupe, and what’s on the tilma, exorcisms, incorruptibles, Eucharistic miracles, and the miracles of Lourdes if you’re having doubts. This should reaffirm your Faith in Christ.
 
CHAPTER TWELVE
When I’m Bored With God
Dealing With Dryness

Orientation
The previous chapter explained that I shouldn’t worry about distractions that come and go in my prayer because they ultimately have little lasting impact. But at some point in my prayer life, I may go through a longer and much more difficult period, wherein my prayer simply dries up. I will receive no graces to enrich my life—no delightful and inspiring treasures floating to the surface. Instead, every prayer time will be filled with restlessness and/or boredom. The problem with dryness is not that something bad happens in prayer, but rather that nothing is happening at all. I just sit there by myself with no sign of the presence of God.

The vast majority of beginners quit praying at this point. Most do not consciously choose to stop praying; they just gradually pray a little less and a little less until one day, they look back and realize that they hardly pray at all anymore. Very seldom do they realize or admit that the reason they quit was because they got bored and lost interest. After all, who would admit—even to themselves—that they were bored with God? Instead, they simply convince themselves that they are just too busy right now and that they will return to it when things slow down (which never happens).

What is tragic about this problem is that this moment of dryness may well be the most momentous of my prayer life. Often, it is at this moment that God is inviting me to a much deeper and more mature relationship with him. Most beginners don’t realize how close they are to something really big. All they know is the emptiness of the experience.

There are three possible causes of the experience of dryness: (1) It could be an external problem; (2) it could be a deeper spiritual problem; or (3) it could be God calling me to a very special period of growth, sometimes called the desert experience. If I have a spiritual director/mentor or a good friend with whom I can share my prayer experiences, the two of us can explore these possibilities together. It is difficult to figure them out on my own because the negative emotions that accompany this dry period might hamper my objectivity. Someone on the outside of the dryness will be able to help me keep the issues in proper perspective.

This chapter briefly explores these three possible causes, paying particular attention to the call of the desert (the third cause). The next chapter explores that calling even further by proposing a few metaphors that help to understand what might be happening in this strange and mysterious moment of my prayer life. It concludes with a few modest suggestions to help the beginner deal with (and maybe even thrive in) the desert.

Details, Details, Details
My dry period may be caused by some external problem. I may simply need to make a few adjustments in the details of how I pray. Here are a few considerations: I consider my prayer space and body position. My place and position should be quiet and comfortable, but not so much that I fall asleep easily. Most people prefer a comfy straight-back chair (such as an armchair or a recliner) in a dimly lit room. But others find that lying flat on one’s back, taking a walk or sitting in a lotus position on the floor works for them.

Thibodeaux S.J., Mark (2011-08-09). Armchair Mystic: Easing into Contemplative Prayer (Kindle Locations 2652-2688). St. Anthony Messenger Press. Kindle Edition.
 
them.

I consider the time of day when I pray. If I am too sleepy, hungry, energetic or preoccupied in the early morning, the time most people prefer, I can try the noon hour, the evening or even the late night hour.

I consider the prayer activities I am presently using. If I have been doing the same thing in my prayer for a while, perhaps I simply need to vary my activities. My job or schoolwork may be causing me “information overload,” and I find myself uncontrollably analyzing Scripture in the same way I analyze whatever comes across my desk. If so, I try spending less of my prayer time reading and more of it simply sitting in the silence of God.

I consider my emotional state. Perhaps I am going through a stressful time at school or work or in one of my relationships. Anxiety or fatigue will make it very difficult to concentrate during prayer. Instead of fighting to forget it, I try to make that anxiety the focal point of the prayer. After all, God’s desire is for me to be happy and healthy. I spend my prayer time telling God all about the problem and listening to God’s response. If the anxiety is particularly intense and I feel that I need more time before facing it head-on, I take my mind off of it by temporarily doing more activities in my prayer. The repetition of a mantra or praying the rosary can often have a soothing affect.

Who, Me?
If the problem is not external, then perhaps it is a spiritual problem. My prayer may be uncomfortable because it does not resonate with the way I am presently living my life. Maybe there is some unacknowledged sinful side of my life that is causing my soul to avoid God. Guilty children often blow their cover by their obvious state of discomfort in the presence of their parents. A priest walking through high school corridors will often have the same experience. If parents and priests can evoke such discomfort in guilty parties, how much more uncomfortable will our sinful souls be in the presence of our heavenly Father!

It is important to note that the problem is not about God’s anger or wrath. God is not punishing me in my prayer time. The Father of Love does not play those games. The problem is my discomfort in the presence of such love. In the book of Exodus, the Lord looked down upon the Israelites and lovingly cared for them as they crossed the Red Sea. When the Egyptians pursued them, however, the Lord glanced at them and they found their chariots bogged down in the mud. They were paralyzed. When reading this story people often imagine that the loving gaze of God upon the Israelites was completely different from the powerful glance of God that stopped the Egyptians in their tracks. But I wonder if maybe God gave both peoples the same glance. It’s just that the oppressive Egyptians were paralyzed in the face of such love

Thibodeaux S.J., Mark (2011-08-09). Armchair Mystic: Easing into Contemplative Prayer (Kindle Locations 2688-2715). St. Anthony Messenger Press. Kindle Edition.
 
A few years ago, I thought God was giving me the silent treatment because I prayed and prayed and (seemingly) got no response. Turns out He wasn’t giving me the silent treatment. He was actually saying “No” to my request and I just didn’t want to hear it.
 
pianistclare said:
I have a few questions:
Are you involved in a Bible study or continuing faith formation group at your parish?
Do you have a regular confessor, or a Spiritual Director?
Do you have good relationship with your priest, in that you could ring him up and make an appointment to talk over coffee?
Do you have good Catholic friends who are fairly knowledgeable about the faith?

The reason I ask is, that you’re probably not going to get enough info here on the forums to say " ok, never mind, I’m good. Although many will weigh in with wonderful quotes, solid material to read, etc. I hope they do!
But nothing replaces a real convo with a person who is well grounded, and compassionate toward folks who are struggling.

If you are continually reading things that are contrary to the faith, or getting into debates that you may not be totally equipped for with others, then you’re doing yourself a dis-service.
Help yourself, Study. Read, get into a group at the parish that tackles the hard questions, and if there isn’t one, get a Spiritual Director.
I’m sure you know God loves you. Why can’t you accept that? People make a much of God "speaking " to them. God speaks to me in every living thing. Look around. You are probably very blessed in some aspect. These things don’t happen by accident. God is at work. Time for you to do some work on your end. You might read the story of Padre Pio who put up with tremendous persecutions. Ask him to pray for you.
God bless you.
I’ll pray for you.
pianist
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I do go to an apologetics gathering at someones house once a month. I do live walking distance to a perpetual adoration chapel now, too. As far as being close to a particular priest, not really. I guess I just don’t really know how to start a conversation with a priest when I’m in the confessional. Usually the time I go to confession is a time shortly before mass so there really isn’t too much time for much else than confessing ones sins…well, for me at least. It can sometimes take me a while to truly express what’s on my mind with words, especially when it comes to spiritual matters hehe

Friends? Well I’m close to a very select few (I’m kind of an introvert ^^’). Most of the people I know are Catholic. Some people I know who are pretty knowledgeable about the faith I either don’t know that well or they live really far away (I am facebook friends with them, at least). These people are also pretty busy so catching them on an off time may be a little tricky.

Yes, God has blessed me in many ways throughout my life and got me through some bad times. I try my best to offer everything I do each day to Him. Sometimes, my anxiety and the little problems I come across in my life make me blind, so to speak, of all the good things that God has done to show His love for me. Then, there are those times (which are becoming increasingly so) that I wonder whether or not God speaking to me in prayer is purely my mind’s way of comforting itself or playing tricks on me. It’s as if my mind is trying to rule out all things supernatural and trying to explain EVERYTHING in a purely natural light. I’m the kind of person who likes to think of things in a very systematic fashion; A causes B and therefore logically, would cause C. That’s kind of how my mind works on a lot of things. I like putting together the puzzle of life’s mysteries, big and small hehehe

In the recent past, I was browsing through a secular forum on spiritual matters and I was getting all kinds of views from different people (mostly negative views). I try to stay away from that forum now (unless the person is truly curious about Christianity and not just wanting to start a debate). Some people feel so strongly for their reasons for disbelieving. It makes me wonder are they right, or are we right? With as much as I know about my faith, I shouldn’t be asking this, but the question still invades my mind like an unwanted virus.
 
Sandraaustin said:
I’ve been there, too. I’ve begged God to just show me a little bit of His love for me, and I’ve begged Him to give me a little tiny bit of consolation, because I felt so abandoned, for no reason, I thought. It didn’t happen because, as I discovered, I was filling my mind with things I shouldn’t have been filling my mind with. You mentioned reading those things about the Church being a “cult”. This isn’t spiritually healthy, it’s opening a door for bad thoughts to come in and fester. I’ve also been there and I remember all the supposedly bad things I was told about the Catholic Church were, in the end, nothing but lies. Easily refutable lies, in fact, but then I couldn’t see it.

Finally at the end of my rope, I asked my parish priest, who told me to go outside and sit for an hour in nature (it wasn’t the middle of winter at the time) and just LISTEN. Don’t pray or talk, just LISTEN. That was the best advice. I highly recommend saying a prayer to the Holy Spirit and trying it, not necessarily outdoors, and don’t try to “empty your mind”, for that isn’t Catholic meditation, but try to listen for the voice of God. Maybe this dryness is His way of bringing you in closer. God bless, I hope you find peace.
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In the recent past, I was browsing through a secular forum on spiritual matters and I was getting all kinds of views from different people (mostly negative views). I try to stay away from that forum now (unless the person is truly curious about Christianity and not just wanting to start a debate). Some people feel so strongly for their reasons for disbelieving. It makes me wonder are they right, or are we right? With as much as I know about my faith, I shouldn’t be asking this, but the question still invades my mind like an unwanted virus.

I have been praying to the Holy Spirit to increase my faith, hope, and love, even if it does feel like a fruitless effort.
 
the_phoenix said:
Sounds like it’s time to give up this habit for the New Year.

Meanwhile, here’s a YouTube video for you to enjoy as you listen for God to tell you He loves you. It’s called “I Know You’re Out There Somewhere” by The Moody Blues:

youtube.com/watch?v=s-bgC1Yip6c

:blessyou:

~~ the phoenix
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Yep, I agree :o I guess this habit was my attempt to better understand their viewpoint better so I can better talk about my faith to others in the future. It would seem that this plan of mine is backfiring hehe
 
Get back at God. Give Him the “silent” treatment back, aka contemplative prayer. 😃

Don’t say another word to Him, until He agrees to just sit quietly with you, and let you relax and not have to answer any questions as conditions of His loving attention.

Really, though. Maybe this is your next phase of prayer. Go beyond talk and start listening and hearing – which don’t come like auditory hallucinations but in gentle urges in the heart.

Maybe you and He both have heard enough of your trying to put your prayer requests into words. He’s ready to speak directly to your heart now, through the “gentle nudges” of the Holy Spirit.

the Holy Spirit, being the followup teacher for Jesus, does not give us a burden; more like if one prayer form isn’t cutting it and then another and another, what’s let? Just sit there and bask in the ability to breathe for a while? I say yes there can be benefit from that approach.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t come in loud and verbose; just a gentle nudge like cats being judged away from Friskies Buffet. They have to try the next kind of food so they can build up range in dealing with whatever life has to serve them at any given time.

Then when you get nudged from the last one, a cat will act like “I don’t care. I meant that” and then go kick back and relax. When we relax our minds and bodies and anxieties, things can quit feeling like surgery and a little more like healing and recovery. Just breathe and let go of concerns for even a short measured (“sabbatical”) time. Then the Holy Spirit can touch us most closely without our shields of fear and pride able to intervene.

Rom 8:26-27
In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because it intercedes for the holy ones according to God’s will.

Plus, Jesus told us to go into our “inner room” and pray. The houses did not have “inner rooms” back in the day, so this seems like to go into a “peaceful retreat” for letting go of decisions and worries for even a few minutes.

Matt 6:5-6
“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you."
 
roseproject said:
I do go to an apologetics gathering at someones house once a month. I do live walking distance to a perpetual adoration chapel now, too. As far as being close to a particular priest, not really. I guess I just don’t really know how to start a conversation with a priest when I’m in the confessional. Usually the time I go to confession is a time shortly before mass so there really isn’t too much time for much else than confessing ones sins…well, for me at least. It can sometimes take me a while to truly express what’s on my mind with words, especially when it comes to spiritual matters hehe

Friends? Well I’m close to a very select few (I’m kind of an introvert ^^’). Most of the people I know are Catholic. Some people I know who are pretty knowledgeable about the faith I either don’t know that well or they live really far away (I am facebook friends with them, at least). These people are also pretty busy so catching them on an off time may be a little tricky.

Yes, God has blessed me in many ways throughout my life and got me through some bad times. I try my best to offer everything I do each day to Him. Sometimes, my anxiety and the little problems I come across in my life make me blind, so to speak, of all the good things that God has done to show His love for me. Then, there are those times (which are becoming increasingly so) that I wonder whether or not God speaking to me in prayer is purely my mind’s way of comforting itself or playing tricks on me. It’s as if my mind is trying to rule out all things supernatural and trying to explain EVERYTHING in a purely natural light. I’m the kind of person who likes to think of things in a very systematic fashion; A causes B and therefore logically, would cause C. That’s kind of how my mind works on a lot of things. I like putting together the puzzle of life’s mysteries, big and small hehehe

In the recent past, I was browsing through a secular forum on spiritual matters and I was getting all kinds of views from different people (mostly negative views). I try to stay away from that forum now (unless the person is truly curious about Christianity and not just wanting to start a debate). Some people feel so strongly for their reasons for disbelieving. It makes me wonder are they right, or are we right? With as much as I know about my faith, I shouldn’t be asking this, but the question still invades my mind like an unwanted virus.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you are doing pretty well, all things considered. Stay away from detractors, yes.
As far as starting a conversation wit the priest, it goes like this"
(make an appointment or invite him out for coffee)
“Hey Father, I have these lingering questions, can I run a couple by you?”
listen. Nod. Ask for clarification,
Rinse. Repeat.

They’re people. They like to help other people. they’re trained to do it. you need not be nervous around them.
Good luck, I will pray for you!
Peace!
Clare
 
'In the spiritual life there are three degrees: the first may be called the animal life; this is the life of those who run after sensible devotion, which God generally gives to beginners, to allure them onwards by that sweetness to the spiritual life, just as an animal is drawn on by a sensible object.

The second degree may be called the human life; this is the life of those who do not experience any sensible sweetness, but by the help of virtue combat their own passions.

The third degree may be called the angelic life; this is the life which they come to, who, having been exercised for a long time in the taming of their own passions, receive from God a quiet, tranquil, and almost angelic life, even in this world, feeling no trouble or repugnance in anything. Of these three degrees it is well to persevere in the second, because the Lord will grant the third in His own good time.’

St. Philip Neri
 
I understand you. I was desperate to the point I asked God to show Himself to me in my dreams because every time I pray, I feel like I’m only talking to the wall…I’ve asked Him so many times if He’s real…and then I just kind of gave up…(when I was in College at that time, I was an atheist sometimes agnostic_. Then after a conversation experience 3 years later…God showed Himself to me countless times through spiritual experiences (His consolations)…but I struggled so much with my faith because I used to think like an atheist and I love the world so much…the hardest thing to do is to submit my worldly reasoning…and I literally gave up my love for philosophy, psychology and all those stuffs that’s bothering me…and focused myself on learning the faith–purely in the eyes of the saints (esp. St Ignatius of Loyola and Teresa of Avila)…This really helped me a lot. Reading from Christian philosophers really backed up. I mean, it was a hard road but a worthy one. Now, Ive kind gotten over with that reasoning insecurity phase. God is so close to me. I couldnt even believe it was hard for me to believe. Anyhow…there was a saint that saith “you have to believe in order to understand”–and I followed that obediently.

I hope this helps.
 
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