Why is it common for parents to frown upon the Religious Life for their children?

[jmdsc]

All the more reason to pursue the vocation! Pride is the sin that gets most of us into trouble. One third of the angels fell into hell because of pride. They are so much “higher class” than we lowly humans…and yet one third of them fell.

Many “former nuns” never developed the virtue of humility and really wanted the first class role of being a priest. In fact, there are still many orders of sisters who are still hoping to become priests some day. They are wasting the wonderful graces that come with humility. When I was a young girl I sincerely wanted to be a sister just like the ones that taught me. I received no encouragement and never became one. However, the nuns that I so admired back in the 50’s are no longer there. They have thrown away the habit and have become “liberal”. Many of them are still hoping to become priests. Thank goodness there are many other orders or communities of sisters that are leading very holy and humble lives. This forum is a great help for those who want to find the orthodox communities where the sisters will work only for the glory and honor of God…not earthy praise.

I never said anything about women priests - you would be hard pressed to find someone more opposed to that idea than I. I simply stated that it is my experience that nuns are treated completely differently (and yes like second class citizens). One example (though there are MANY!): all nuns must take a vow of poverty - why not all priests?

 

[Mamselle_Duroc]

One example (though there are MANY!): all nuns must take a vow of poverty - why not all priests?

A vow of poverty isn’t a bad thing; it’s a good thing.

As St. Francis of Assisi proved, those vows are the means to become first-class citizens in Heaven.

 

[christcnection1]

A vow of poverty isn’t a bad thing; it’s a good thing.

As St. Francis of Assisi proved, those vows are the means to become first-class citizens in Heaven.

Most priests take a vow of poverty. This of course has different expressions, some of which are more extreme.

St. Francis was not a priest, but he certainly blazed a heavenly trail that others rightly followed.

Not all nuns take their vow of poverty to an extreme.

Indeed, properly lived out, it’s a great thing. It certainly confounds a world that worships financial wealth and materialism.

 

[chicago]

Not all nuns take their vow of poverty to an extreme.

Indeed, properly lived out, it’s a great thing. It certainly confounds a world that worships financial wealth and materialism.

And I think that has a LOT to do with the worries.

“Trusting in GOD” for something, let alone one’s very life? SCANDALOUS!!! (to the world.)

Better to “make your own way”, be 'secure" and “happy.”

Ignore the fact that your life may not be your own and you are probably not in total control, anyway. Everything you build up for yourself could just as easily be lost in a moment.

Our fallen natures tend towards selfishness and comfort, away from sacrifice, denial, and self gift. We too often look for the path of least resistance.

The priesthood (or religious life, all the more), especially in our day, is not looked upon with pride or great societal value. It does not meet our Calvinistic leanings for prestige. It, in fact, wars against all that and confronts us with discomfort. So, of course, “Why would anyone desire it?” we are left to wonder.

In light of these realities, it should not be surprising that parents would want to dissuade their kids from seriously considering such a life.

 

[debraran]

In the “olden days” of the 50’s and early 60’s, many families, (especially Irish) pushed their sons to be priests. It was thought to be prestigious and an honor. As I’ve said before, in talking myself to priests over 55 and in reading many books, a lot of priests were pressured to become priests. The reasons also weren’t always nobel either. Many parish priests lived very well, a nice rectory, a nice older woman that did the cooking/cleaning, many helpers, etc. They were invited to dinners, treated pretty well overall. One priest told me last year (and he like being a priest, wasn’t bitter) “three squares and a bed” was a common saying. If you weren’t too bright, not cut out for certain jobs, a priest was a way to have a home, food, some money and people revered you. Some burnt out later, but what could they do? Leaving at 40 with no education or job experience isn’t too great and that doesn’t take into the shame some would feel.
I think nuns have a bit more respect now, but still live under what most priests do. The seem to also suffer more at “retirement”. I read some internet stats on how priests are better taken care of but I hope that has changed.
I think that’s why some men hated Mother Angelica, they would say she should go back in her cloister. How dare a woman do these things and take on a bishop! I think Jesus smiled at times that she had the nerve to stand up to them.

I think today that some people might think you’re nuts to a religious, but secretly they admire you. I would.

 

[onetruechurch]

Ever hear of Dolores Hart? She had it all back in the late 50’s and early 60’s.She was the top grossing actress for MGM in 1962 She started her movie career in 1956 at age 18 and became the first actress to kiss Elvis Presley on screen. She starred in movies with all the top actors of the day and even had a wonderful boyfriend who wanted to marry her.

Sounds glamorous, doesn’t it! Today she is a very happy woman even though her health is failing. I am not going to tell you what happened to her when she turned 24 because I would like you to think about her glamorous life. She did something that her parents, friends, and boyfriend did not want her to do. In fact they thought she was crazy!! From age 24 until today she became and is still very very happy. Her parents and friends did not know what would bring this very famous young woman happiness…but she did. Can you guess what she did?

 

[christcnection1]

Ever hear of Dolores Hart? She had it all back in the late 50’s and early 60’s.She was the top grossing actress for MGM in 1962 She started her movie career in 1956 at age 18 and became the first actress to kiss Elvis Presley on screen. She starred in movies with all the top actors of the day and even had a wonderful boyfriend who wanted to marry her.

Sounds glamorous, doesn’t it! Today she is a very happy woman even though her health is failing. I am not going to tell you what happened to her when she turned 24 because I would like you to think about her glamorous life. She did something that her parents, friends, and boyfriend did not want her to do. In fact they thought she was crazy!! From age 24 until today she became and is still very very happy. Her parents and friends did not know what would bring this very famous young woman happiness…but she did. Can you guess what she did?

Great testimony. Praise God for courage like that.

 

[Phemie]

Most priests take a vow of poverty. This of course has different expressions, some of which are more extreme.

Only religious priests take a vow of poverty. For some congregations and orders that just means that everything is owned by the Order or the Congregation, it doesn’t mean that they are living in poverty.

 

[christcnection1]

I think today that some people might think you’re nuts to a religious, but secretly they admire you. I would.

You know… maybe there is some truth to that. Religious life is such a radical way of living, how can people not be intrigued? I’m sure it also serves to bring inspiration in ways one will never know in this life.

 

[christcnection1]

Only religious priests take a vow of poverty. For some congregations and orders that just means that everything is owned by the Order or the Congregation, it doesn’t mean that they are living in poverty.

Yes… depending on how you define “poverty.” I essentially agree with you.

I suppose that many diocesan priests take a personal (not formal) vow of poverty. But I do think most priests in the world are part of a Religious Order, right?

 

[debraran]

She was (is) a beautiful woman and from my neck of the woods. : ) (re Delores Hart)

This was on an internet vatican site:
VATICAN CITY (AP) — The number of men and women belonging to Roman Catholic religious orders worldwide has continued to decline but there has been an increase in priests assigned to dioceses, the Vatican said Tuesday.
The Vatican’s statistics office said the total number of priests worldwide — those belonging to religious orders and those assigned to dioceses — stood at 405,000, with an increase of 600 diocesan clerics in 2006 over the previous year.

The total number of men and women in Catholic religious orders — mainly priests and nuns who belong to such orders as the Jesuits, Carmelites and the Franciscans — stood at 945,210 in 2006 — 7,230 fewer than the previous year, said a Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Ciro Benedettini.

He said an article Monday in the Vatican newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano, had overstated the decrease.

The overwhelming majority of people in religious orders, 753,400, are women
I also found, “There are about 15,000 religious-order priests in the United States, equal to roughly one-third of the total priests in the country.”
Years ago, more dioceses were richer, now many are very poor or struggling. You still hear about priests having expensive things, vacations, etc. but no one says they can’t unless it’s misuse of money. (we had a big time scandal with that in CT a year or so ago)
Fr. Groechels group in NYC live very poorly, sleep on the floor, live on charity, don’t own anything, no TV, Internet, etc. I think something that radical you have to be called too. Other groups live with less donations and have leaky roofs and othe repairs needed.
As one poster said, living in poverty varies, from very austre to owning what a college kid would have or much more if you are a richer diocisan priest.
I think nuns live more lives of poverty than priests. The priest that married me said he gave many of his gifts, (especially the wine) to the nun at the convent…no one ever bought them anything…they thought they liked not having anything, but of course the priests were inundated with things. He’s right, I don’t know why, but the nuns always were given less.
Next year, I might take some advice I read about and send a group of nuns a big fruit basket or food…something that can be shared but they wouldn’t normally get.

 

[Phemie]

Yes… depending on how you define “poverty.” I essentially agree with you.

I suppose that many diocesan priests take a personal (not formal) vow of poverty. But I do think most priests in the world are part of a Religious Order, right?

It’s true that it depends how you define poverty.

My pastor took a vow of poverty but lives in a $500,000 dollar house, with a sauna, every possible gadget including a $4000.00 industrial dishwasher. While he doesn’t own the house he had the sauna included in the plans against his bishop’s wishes, something he brags about. I should be so poor.

Diocesan priests are expected to live simply but I’ve known many to have jobs where they are very well paid (military chaplains or university teachers for example) and they can own anything they manage to acquire. They are expected to provide their own vehicle and look after themselves financially. One of my former pastors had his own beach-front private home built where he lived after office hours. At the time that property wasn’t expensive since nobody had yet discovered our little corner of paradise to push up property values but it was an anomaly in our area to have the priest live away from the rectory.

 

[christcnection1]

It’s true that it depends how you define poverty.

My pastor took a vow of poverty but lives in a $500,000 dollar house, with a sauna, every possible gadget including a $4000.00 industrial dishwasher. While he doesn’t own the house he had the sauna included in the plans against his bishop’s wishes, something he brags about. I should be so poor.

Diocesan priests are expected to live simply but I’ve known many to have jobs where they are very well paid (military chaplains or university teachers for example) and they can own anything they manage to acquire. They are expected to provide their own vehicle and look after themselves financially. One of my former pastors had his own beach-front private home built where he lived after office hours. At the time that property wasn’t expensive since nobody had yet discovered our little corner of paradise to push up property values but it was an anomaly in our area to have the priest live away from the rectory.

That’s VERY unfortunate if you ask me. And the fact he brags about it, and it was against the Bishop’s wishes… Ave Maria… Lord have mercy!

At any rate… I’ll let the Judge be the true judge.

It’s hard to be inspired when you here stuff like that. Thank God for the majority of Religious that are living their faith.

 

[christcnection1]

Next year, I might take some advice I read about and send a group of nuns a big fruit basket or food…something that can be shared but they wouldn’t normally get.

Yes, send them some fruit or a vegetable platter. The diet of many Religious (both men and woman) is often horrendous.

Someone I don’t think obesity and poverty go hand-in-hand either.

 

[debraran]

In a blog by a group of Franciscan nuns in NYC, I read they hadn’t had fruit in a whle and prayed to a saint that somehow was aquainted with bananas of all things…well, an hour or so later, woman was at the door with some extra bananas she had that were going to go bad…I smiled, but they shouldn’t have to live like that.
A new group of nuns in Arizona from Mother Angelica’s group are only 5 and I noticed they got a lot of gifts…it’s easier to buy for 5 than 50, but if a lot of people did it, they would share.
Priests get gifts, invited to many dinners, get paid for weddings/funerals etc. You have to remember nuns/sisters don’t.

 

[christcnection1]

In a blog by a group of Franciscan nuns in NYC, I read they hadn’t had fruit in a whle and prayed to a saint that somehow was aquainted with bananas of all things…well, an hour or so later, woman was at the door with some extra bananas she had that were going to go bad…I smiled, but they shouldn’t have to live like that.
A new group of nuns in Arizona from Mother Angelica’s group are only 5 and I noticed they got a lot of gifts…it’s easier to buy for 5 than 50, but if a lot of people did it, they would share.
Priests get gifts, invited to many dinners, get paid for weddings/funerals etc. You have to remember nuns/sisters don’t.

I think these little exchanges about female Religious ought to inspire us to send a little something their way. I’m not sure what nun convents/houses are closest to me, but I think you’re on to something, and I am going to try to find one so I can send them a gift.

We really should support our Religious more faithfully. That doesn’t necessarily mean material gifts, though it could.

 

[wina]

I think it also depends on where the parents are from. In the Philippines, faithful Catholic families encourage their children to consider the religious life. They consider it a blessing to the family if a son becomes a priest or a daughter become a nun.

At least, as a Filipina-American, that has been my experience. Personally, I would be thrilled and proud if one of my sons decides to become a priest or a religious!

Yeah may be in the Philippines, but not here in Indonesia. Although I’m craddle catholic, my parents are good catholics too, but when a time I told my mom, I wanted to be a nun, she disagreed. And I tried to forget it too because I was afraid that the call was right. But lately I’m discerning myself again. But I’m too afraid to talk to my parents because I know they depends on me. So, it’s true if parents are afraid to know their children will enter religious life.

 

[momtimesfour]

My own parents discouraged my brother and I from considering the religious life. I’ve never directly asked about it (although I might now); I assumed it had to do with their own experiences growing up (both went to parochial schools) and the desires of their own parents. They tend to be on the liberal side of the church, and not without reason.

If it makes you feel any better I can tell you this: As a parent now of four children, I already consider myself to be highly blessed. My job is to equip my children as best I can for whatever it is that the Lord is calling them to do. I talk to them about their future and that talk is quite fluid - I mention married life, religious life, dedicated single life. If all four of my children decided to pursue the religious life it would be amazing, just as it would be amazing for them to all marry and stay devoted to their families. Would I lament the lack of grandchildren? Maybe a little bit - I am human and I love children! But my children absolutely must answer the Lord’s calling - I’ve already answered Him. Many of my friends in Catholic homeschooling circles are much the same - we all would count it a joy if any of our children enter into religious life.