C
Calliso
Guest
I understand what you are saying I think. I think that if my husband were to decide that he wanted kids I would discuss it with him. And it is quite possible I would agree to it. I would not just outright tell him no. But of course there would need to be a big discussion beforehand to make sure that is what he really wanted and that we both would be willing to make the required sacrifices.OK, but you two happen to agree about how much of everything you want from each other. If he happened to want to raise children with you and you didn’t want to do that, could you see where your commitment might not seem to him to be the “ultimate” in terms of the normal logical consequences of your on-going exclusive sexual relationship? Do you see that you would be withholding some of yourself in asking him to give that up?
Contrast this, for instance, with the situation if you had entered a convent. You would have a relationship with the other sisters, one in which you cared for each other and had affection for each other, but not one that would ever lead to your bearing children, not in a million years. That would be foreign to the nature of your relationship to the rest of the sisters. That is because you would be taking care of each other in order for each of you to give your ultimate commitment to God. Even that, though, would ask you for everything.
The world has many philosophies that tell us we are here for our own sakes, that our lives are ultimately about each of us individually. Catholicism doesn’t teach that. By baptism, we are buried in Christ. Our lives are not about us. Our lives are about love of God and neighbor. That does call forth an “ultimate” response, but it truly is ultimate. We believe God has claim on our everything. The only difference with a married couple is that they share one “everything”, which they can expect will probably result in children. If it does not, though, their energies are not theirs to spend between the two of them. That way of thinking is contrary to our baptismal promises.
To a Catholic, a childless married couple is not called to fewer sacrifices for the sake of love than one with children, only different ones. Their one shared life still belongs entirely to God.