Just to quickly throw in my two cents before my son wakes up:
you can judge something by its fruit, so to speak. Fruit of NFP: greater communication between the couple; the woman’s cycle of fertility is respected instead of treated like a disease that requires medication (the Pill), handling with a barrier (condom); the husband is involved in the wife’s cycle and is never surprised by PMS : ); because you’re keeping track of your fertility signs and become familiar with them, you can tell pretty quickly if something’s wrong; you know when you conceived, within a couple of days, so you don’t have to guess at your due date (this is fun at the doctor’s office, they’re trying to use Niel’s rule or whatever it’s called to calculate from the first day of your last period to figure out how far along you are, and you’re like, “it was this day, give or take 24 hours, here’s my chart”); it increases self-control, always a good virtue to cultivate; it helps you see, during those times you do need to postpone, that your marriage can survive just fine without regular sex, which is helpful 'cause eventually those parts don’t work anymore anyway and we all hope to live long enough with our spouses to get to that point; constantly re-evaluating your reasons for postponing because you have to sacrifice something, so you’re talking about why you’re postponing, is it time to have another, do we have a good reason. This is, when it hits the ground, how it’s more open to life - you’re constantly thinking about it because it takes a concerted effort to postpone, not like popping a pill, getting an implant, or donning a condom. The default is to be open to life, only postponing, as one person put it, with regret. It’s not about whether or not you “want” another one, it’s about whether or not you have just cause to postpone. Children are seen as a blessing to be open to receiving, not an unfortunate side-effect of sex.
Fruit of contraception (i will lump all forms into one for the sake of time): increased cancer risk, treating the woman’s fertility like a disease that requires medication or a barrier; increased rates of child abuse, divorce, infidelity, abortion in societies that use contraception; the Pill can act as an abortifacient, which NFP could never do; almost every girl I’ve known who’s gone on the Pill has gotten pretty sick from it, and those patches, shots, and implants carry the risk of heart attacks, blood clots, internal bleeding, loss of bone density, etc., and DEATH, yes DEATH, which NFP could never do; the man can be completely oblivious to anything regarding responsibility for the children, can blame the woman for “messing up” their method, can just use his wife for his own selfish pleasure because birth control is a “women’s reproductive health issue”. The default is sex with no babies, only being open to life when you “want” another child. That’s why, for those who get pregnant while using contraception, the response is often, to quote one guy we know, “oh ****.”
NFP works with the cycle God gave women of fertility and infertility, whereas contraception interferes with the woman’s cycle (chemical means) or acts as a barrier to neutralize the woman’s fertility (condoms, etc.). When else does a doctor prescribe something for a perfectly healthy person in order to make it so their system no longer works properly? NFP works with what God gave us, contraception works against it. Sure, both can result in “avoiding” pregnancy, but that is not really the issue here. The issues are WHY you want to avoid pregnancy and HOW you’re doing it: are you selfishly trying to limit you family in unnecessary ways? are you working with the cycle given by God (women’s cycle of fertility) or are you trying to override it?** Perhaps those who find NFP and contraception to be the same are the ones who are using NFP just like they would use contraception, with the default NOT being openness to children. If NFP use isn’t accompanied by the correct spiritual framework, then it can become, I suppose, just another means to avoid pregnancy. **
It is highly effective, and I think there’s nothing wrong with touting that. The “world” needs to see that what we’re doing is not only moral, but that it actually works and is much more “scientific” than any contraceptive method. We’re not a bunch of sheep following rules made for us by a celibate male hierarchy who doesn’t really care whether or not any of this actually works in daily life. It’s real, it really works, there’s excellent science to back it up, and it’s more pro-woman than anything else because our husbands do not demand that we neutralize the beauty of our fertility for their own sexual pleasure.
hope this helps. I struggled with this myself.
. NFP can also be used to achieve pregnancy, so it can also be a pretty joyful thing for couples that haven’t been able to conceive and that finally do! It took us five cycles this last time (I don’t think people think of that side of NFP very often) and were ecstatic when my temps finally stayed high! I’m praying we don’t have to use it to avoid (I definitely can see that side of what your saying), but it’s such a blessing when your trying to conceive too!
OSSIBILITY of life, and does not place a physical barrier designed by man to prevent pregnancy*.