Why is strictness or judgment frowned upon?

  • Thread starter Thread starter MargaretofCortona
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Men and women are wired differently. I’ve never understand them.
 
If a man lusts after a provocatively dressed woman, it is his fault NOT hers?
 
There is a dress code for Traditional Catholic Masses, that is because the focus is on GOD, not on each other. We are supposed to be worshiping God, not distracting men’s attention during Mass. To try to get men’s attention at church (Men are visually stimulated, which is why women wear sexy clothes) would be enticing men to sin, which is sin.
 
Well look at it from another perspective.

Imagine all the commercials and advertisements and messages in society tell you to dress a certain way - look at people in your demographic on television and this is what they’re wearing. You would think it was normal and wouldn’t see anything wrong with it. If others leered at you then you’d assume it was their problem, after all you’re just dressing the way society tells you to. You might dress differently at church if the person asking you to explained why - that the church has better priorities than society because it values your soul and wants you to have dignity - then you might be likely to change your habits. On the other hand if the person asking you to dress differently phrased it as “because I said so!” then you would think they were just unreasonable.

At least that’s what people who seem to know about these things described the situation to me.
 
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Modesty can be difficult to define. But seriously visible panties should be an obvious no no. I don’t even like seeing young men’s boxers.
 
One thing I have also found is, men really don’t always understand women dressing.

Most men, when they dress up, they’re dressing up because someone wants them to. They need to wear it to work, or they’re trying to impress a girl, or something.

Us ladies aren’t like that. There’s a definite truth that women dress for themselves, and for each other. In fact I know single ladies who will dress up to clean the house (despite there being no one to see them). But I think that confuses a lot of men - they see a woman dressing up, they assume it must be for them, because if they dressed up that’s what it would be for.

But that means a lot of men who take that approach, it doesn’t work very well. Because the young lady really isn’t trying to dress up just to attract male attention, and she’s insulted that someone would suggest that.
 
I agree! I wore makeup once and an old man at mass came up to me after and told me that I didn’t have to do that because guys are trying to focus on the eucharist…

Most fashion for women look a little ‘much’ but to me and most of my friends, it just plain, casual clothing. And when we wear ‘ugly’ clothing, guys will be the first to tell us that guys don’t like that.
 
i think it’s frowned upon because ppl don’t want to turn someone from the church. if someone was scolded for wearing booty shorts, she might not show up. judging from people my age now, we would go onto twitter or tumblr and whine about how judgmental catholic are.
 
Wear whatever you want I guess but I don’t want see visible underwear or butt cheeks or butt cracks.
 
Probably. A lot of guys don’t notice themselves noticing though.

It’s a running joke with a lot of ladies about men who “prefer natural women.” A lot of the women they prefer really are made up, they just made it look like they aren’t. Often when the same woman goes without makeup she’ll get told she’s very plain.
 
I think we ought to exercise prudence in who we tell what to. One thing that bothered me in the church I grew up in was that visiting young ladies were asked to cover up. Meanwhile, the daughters of long-standing members, who had grown up in the church, wore what they liked. It should have been the other way around.
 
Some people don’t like being told anything from anyone. I don’t think any adult should be personally confronted on their attire unless by those closest to them. For some having a discussion about modesty is out of question. I went to a young Christian group meeting and it got heated.
 
would be worth mentioning that visible underwear lines are usually not intentional, it’s such a huge faux pas in fashion 🙂

not wanting to see butt cheeks and cracks are reasonable expectations…so reasonable that most of us would not even think of reminding people to cover up these areas.
 
The same could be said about my butt. I’m skinny with a big butt, I guess it looks weird
 
If that’s her intention, it’s definately a problem. As I told Darklight, a big chunk of this issue is people don’t really think a lot about what they wear, and if you are talking North America most people probably dress for the weather and don’t think twice about.

I do have to say we cannot ever underestimate scandal. I’ve even heard that during Judgement there may be forced that will bring testimony against us in an attempt to keep us from Heaven.

My comments towards Darklight were based on the notion (and from previous conversations on the old forum) that it seems like it doesn’t matter what she does or did that someone had something to say. I think if anyone has an issue with modesty they should talk to a priest about what is appropriate for Mass, and this mean not dressing the most comfortably, but there are some people who dress in certain ways or have items with them that may be medically related.
 
Well, I think it’s okay to have a discussion and okay to tell people they are presenting themselves before the Eucharist. The big no-no is calling people out in Church unless you are hired help at a cathedral or some such place that has a dress code.
 
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