Why is this priest avoiding me?

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chasingcars

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A priest in my parish has started to avoid me and I don’t know why. It really hurts because I don’t know the reason for his behaviour.
Once when he entered the parish hall he suddenly went away when he saw me.
He used to be friendly to me and talk to me but not anymore. Now he avoids all contact with me.
When a new priest celebrated Mass for the first time we had a opportunity to kiss his hands after the Mass and the priest who’s avoiding me was standing next to him but when I got a bit closer (parishioners were queuing and I was waiting for my turn) he walked away to the sacristy and was standing at it’s door looking at the queue.
If I even look at him for a second and he notices it (for example, before Mass when he’s getting things ready) he immediately looks away.
Like I said, he doesn’t talk to me anymore but he asked my friend about me (which is weird and my friend of course refused to tell him anything).
WHY?
 
Could you make an appointment and ask him if he has a problem with you.
 
BarbTh said:
Could you make an appointment and ask him if he has a problem with you.
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I don’t think so 😦 It’d be super awkward and if he really hates me or is scared of me or something else he wouldn’t want to have an appointment with me. And I never get a chance to ask him because he’s avoiding me. Maybe I should try to call him but I think he would just hang up or say he’s too busy.
 
Seems to me God has given you a bunch of people to pray for. So do that and go about the business of loving God and you neighbors.

Peace to you
 
chasingcars said:
No, it’s a different priest.
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Well then you’d have to ask, but I wouldn’t.
I would give him his space. Put your mind on other things.
You ask lots of questions…maybe he feels overwhelmed.
 
chasingcars said:
A priest in my parish has started to avoid me and I don’t know why. It really hurts because I don’t know the reason for his behaviour.
Once when he entered the parish hall he suddenly went away when he saw me.
He used to be friendly to me and talk to me but not anymore. Now he avoids all contact with me.
When a new priest celebrated Mass for the first time we had a opportunity to kiss his hands after the Mass and the priest who’s avoiding me was standing next to him but when I got a bit closer (parishioners were queuing and I was waiting for my turn) he walked away to the sacristy and was standing at it’s door looking at the queue.
If I even look at him for a second and he notices it (for example, before Mass when he’s getting things ready) he immediately looks away.
Like I said, he doesn’t talk to me anymore but he asked my friend about me (which is weird and my friend of course refused to tell him anything).
WHY?
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I wouldn’t worry about it, it might be best that he is avoiding you. It seems kind of strange he would ask your friend for information about you. Unless you were M.I.A from the parish or something.

Prayers for your situation.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Perhaps it is only the priests “problem” and not yours to question. I too, would drop it.
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If the priest is offended by something what I’ve done then it’s my problem too. I haven’t said or done anything offensive to him but maybe there might have happened some kind of misunderstanding or something like that.
We haven’t talked to each other in months but before he started to avoid me we talked about once or twice per month. The conversations were always quite short and mostly it was him who started them (I only went to talk to him if I had something important such as asking him to write me a confirmation certificate). So I definitely haven’t crossed any boundaries (if you know what I mean) and that can’t be the reason why he’s avoiding me.
 
It’s tough when people turn away from us, but in the end, you have two moral choices. You can go and talk to him. Or you can drop it completely. Act courageously and pursue him, or acknowledge that you’re unable and let it go.

I’m pretty weak, so I generally drop it. If the other person is avoiding me because they’ve wronged me, I will take the initiative to try and restore the relationship; but if they won’t respond, then I’ve done what I can and I let it go. We can’t make people like us, treat us well, or want to spend time with us, and if we’re focused on God those issues become rather unimportant anyway. I usually bring my hurt to Jesus, forgive the person, and that enables me to move on.

If you’ve offended him but don’t know how, and he chooses not to tell you how or why, then it doesn’t involve you and you’re not responsible. Really. You aren’t personally responsible for his actions and feelings.
 
chasingcars said:
If the priest is offended by something what I’ve done then it’s my problem too.

I haven’t said or done anything offensive to him but maybe there might have happened some kind of misunderstanding or something like that.

So I definitely haven’t crossed any boundaries (if you know what I mean) and that can’t be the reason why he’s avoiding me.
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No, you misunderstood what I am saying.

No one said you offended him or crossed any boundaries.

What I said is that it is his problem. It is his thought process that is making him avoid you. Confronting him may not help. It may have nothing to do with you personally.

Quite frankly, in this priest-parishioner relationship, I am not sure you have some kind of right to know why he is avoiding you. Let it go. I would not dream of asking any priest at church anything so personal.
 
chasingcars said:
If the priest is offended by something what I’ve done then it’s my problem too. I haven’t said or done anything offensive to him but maybe there might have happened some kind of misunderstanding or something like that.
We haven’t talked to each other in months but before he started to avoid me we talked about once or twice per month. The conversations were always quite short and mostly it was him who started them (I only went to talk to him if I had something important such as asking him to write me a confirmation certificate). So I definitely haven’t crossed any boundaries (if you know what I mean) and that can’t be the reason why he’s avoiding me.
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If you didn’t do or say anything offensive to him then you have nothing to worry about. 👍

If he misinterpreted something, that is actually on him to come to you and find out if his impression is correct. 🙂 We are supposed to interpret peoples actions in the best light until we have evidence to the contrary. It is good that you’re caring and empathetic enough to notice his odd behavior, but I would advise you to not worry too much about it. It could be any one of ten thousand things, or it could be literally nothing. He entered the parish hall, and saw you, and you reminded him a woman was supposed to meet him in his office, so he left. He saw someone sick in line and he’s been feeling a little under the weather to begin with, so he moved away from the queue towards the sacristy. And so on.

Relax :cool:, give it to God, and focus on your life in Him. :gopray:

AMDG
cjb_914
 
Quite frankly, in this priest-parishioner relationship, I am not sure you have some kind of right to know why he is avoiding you. Let it go. I would not dream of asking any priest at church anything so personal.
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AMEN!

He doesn’t need a reason to stay clear of young women. Something occurred that made him uncomfortable. Don’t aggravate it further. Whatever it is. You have no need to pursue this any further.
Focus on other things.
 
chasingcars said:
If the priest is offended by something what I’ve done then it’s my problem too. I haven’t said or done anything offensive to him but maybe there might have happened some kind of misunderstanding or something like that.
We haven’t talked to each other in months but before he started to avoid me we talked about once or twice per month. The conversations were always quite short and mostly it was him who started them (I only went to talk to him if I had something important such as asking him to write me a confirmation certificate). So I definitely haven’t crossed any boundaries (if you know what I mean) and that can’t be the reason why he’s avoiding me.
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I’m sorry, but I don’t see anything in this post to suggest he’s “avoiding” you. It’s not like you had an incredibly close relationship and then he suddenly stopped talking to you altogether. You had a professional relationship, and spoke when generally necessary.

He’s a priest, not your best friend. He has a job to do that is very demanding, and there’s no reason to impute motive to actions when there is none there.

Instead of speculating, maybe you should just pray for him and the work that he is doing.
 
casslean said:
I’m sorry, but I don’t see anything in this post to suggest he’s “avoiding” you. It’s not like you had an incredibly close relationship and then he suddenly stopped talking to you altogether. You had a professional relationship, and spoke when generally necessary.

He’s a priest, not your best friend. He has a job to do that is very demanding, and there’s no reason to impute motive to actions when there is none there.

Instead of speculating, maybe you should just pray for him and the work that he is doing.
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I know it was just professional relationship but now it seems to be gone and I wonder why. I’d react the same way if a teacher suddenly started to avoid me because I know there must be a reason why someone who used to be friendly to me doesn’t even say hi to me anymore. It’s really confusing and makes me sad.
I understand that for some reason he wants to keep distance and I haven’t tried to approach him since the avoiding started and I’m going to follow your advice (all of you) that I won’t try to talk to him unless he decides to come talk to me or if I have an important (=professional) reason to contact him.
Please pray for me.
 
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