Why not?

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Nuruns

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I need some good argument material to discuss morals without using the faith as my reasons. Where I work there is no faith, and one co-worker who is very fond of one-night stands asked me ‘why not?’ as far as having sex before marriage. He told me he doesn’t believe in religious reasons and he wanted me to give him some good solid natural reasons why he shouldn’t have sex with this new girl. I was amazed to realize that I couldn’t think of an answer.

I need to be ready for the next time he asks me!
 
Have you ever heard of this thing called Herpes, the incurable, painful, pussing sores, that should do it!😃
 
Nuruns said:
Where I work there is no faith
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You are supposed to be a witness of Jesus Christ, hence there is faith at your work
Nuruns said:
I need some good argument material to discuss morals without using the faith as my reasons.
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Forget the arguments, Do you know why, not from an Apologetic standpoint, but from your Christian stand point the reasons behind Chastity? Someone once said, I think it was Karl Keating, “You can win an argument, but lose a soul”. I’ve done that countless times because when we get into “argument mode” we forget we are talking a person because our pride takes over and we just want to win.

1 Peter 3:15
but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope,
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Its very important why should be constantly learning and growing in matters of morality. Most people are going to hell not because they can’t accept Theology, but it is because they do not want to accept Morality.

Some good natural reasons:
  • Love is special
  • Personal preference
  • Statistically, if you engage in the maritial act AFTER you are married, you have a three times better chance of STAYING married
  • The marital act bonds people and if you are “bonding” with random, one-night stands you soon lose your ability to love anyone.
And lastly, this is what I would have said
  • Its trashy.
See, anyone who does one-night stands and wants an explanation is just being VERY selfish. I would then proceed to ask him that would he like for his daughter or sister to be a stipper? Porn star? Prostitute?

See his reaction and ask him, why are you revolted at the notion that your future wife could be a prostitute? And ask him, how does it feel, right now, if you knew that the future woman you will be married too, is in a bed with some random stranger? And the next week, its another random stranger. How does that make you feel? Does that go well with you?

And pray for him, so that Mary can touch his heart and bring him to God.

God Bless you.
 
Not to mention what about the poor string of girls he’s leaving behind! I’m sure he didn’t come up to them and say, “Hey, you want to have totally meaningless sex and then not see each other ever again?”

Women get naturally attatched to the guys they have sex with. Why do you think so many women stick around in awful relationships where they are miserable? They’ve shared a special part of themselves with the guy (even if it isn’t their first time) and it means something more than maybe the women even realize. It can be very emotionally damaging to a woman to be used just for sex.

I have heard so many students talking about their awful relationships and 99% of the time the problem is because they’re having sex! After the sex, the women feel a special attachment to the guys, whereas the guys get less interested in the women (now that the guy has “had” her, he’s bored and wants someone new). So one person feels suffocated, one person feels ignored, and the whole thing goes to heck in a handbag!

❤️
 
Ask him whether children are supposed to have parents? He will most likely say ‘yes’.

Ask him how many? He should say ‘two’.

Ask him what’s one of the main reasons why nowadays we have so many single mothers (well, and of course abortions as well).

The answer is obvious…
 
Because no matter how much she may try to deny it, a woman is putting her entire future on the line whenever she has sex.

Even if she’s on the pill, she may get pregnant. If she keeps the baby, then it’s obvious how her future is on the line. And if she has an abortion, she will still always be a mother. Her body will change. Her future medical history will change. Her psychology will change. She may get an incurable disease that will affect whether or not she can find a husband.

There’s just no way around it. Whether she intends to or not, whether she realizes it or not, whether or not she’s just as willing for it to be a one-night-stand, she can’t avoid the reality that she’s putting her entire future on the line.

And anything less on the part of the man is as cowardly, selfish, and unmanly as I can imagine.

So how does he put his entire future on the line to match hers? Marriage. It really is that simple.
 
He told me he doesn’t believe in religious reasons and he wanted me to give him some good solid natural reasons why he shouldn’t have sex with this new girl.
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Part of the problem is, we really CAN’T give much of an argument against it without revealing the source of our reasoning - God.

But that doesn’t mean we have to quote the Bible in every answer, or even mention Jesus’ name very frequently. Rather, we can present a reasonable argument, but it will always lead back to. . . God.

You could tell him that he’s “missing out” by doing it his way. Theoretically, God-worshipping married couples should have the most satisfying sex on earth. In fact, Catholic sex is out of this world so-to-speak.

Tell him that the Catholic sexual ethic is not set up to prevent sex from corrupting us. It is meant to prevent *us *from corrupting sex. Sex is that good.

The way we become great is by sacrificing ourselves for a greater good, something larger than ourselves. When we treat our sexuality as something lowly, something meaningless, we fail to strive for that larger-than-ourselves cause.

My response to this guy would be, “That’s fine, don’t believe in any of the religious reasons. We’ll conduct a little experiment. You go your way, I’ll go mine. Then we’ll talk it over when we’re in our 70s.”
 
Black_Jaque said:
Part of the problem is, we really CAN’T give much of an argument against it without revealing the source of our reasoning - God.
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I respectfully disagree. If we can’t propose arguments based on natural reasoning, then people would all have to be Christian, or at least religious, to know that premarital sex is wrong. And that’s not the case. Man, by use of his natural reasoning alone, can figure out that premarital sex is not in his, or the community’s, best interest, and should be avoided.
 
I respectfully disagree. If we can’t propose arguments based on natural reasoning, then people would all have to be Christian, or at least religious, to know that premarital sex is wrong. And that’s not the case. Man, by use of his natural reasoning alone, can figure out that premarital sex is not in his, or the community’s, best interest, and should be avoided.
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But the problem is natural reasoning, or natural law, is founded on the idea of a supreme creator.

You can avoid the mention of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But only for so long. Ultimately it has to come to God.

Belief in God is not optional. It is required in order to live a moral life. And the more truthful your beliefs about God are, the more accurate your morality will be.
 
Matt_Collins said:
Because no matter how much she may try to deny it, a woman is putting her entire future on the line whenever she has sex.

Even if she’s on the pill, she may get pregnant. If she keeps the baby, then it’s obvious how her future is on the line. And if she has an abortion, she will still always be a mother. Her body will change. Her future medical history will change. Her psychology will change. She may get an incurable disease that will affect whether or not she can find a husband.

There’s just no way around it. Whether she intends to or not, whether she realizes it or not, whether or not she’s just as willing for it to be a one-night-stand, she can’t avoid the reality that she’s putting her entire future on the line.

And anything less on the part of the man is as cowardly, selfish, and unmanly as I can imagine.

So how does he put his entire future on the line to match hers? Marriage. It really is that simple.
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Great post. I think we need to appeal to the inherent strengths of men AND women–not their basest desires and weaknesses.

In almost any role they select out in the world–doctor, soldier, construction worker, judge, priest, business entrepreur–men are expected to demonstrate self-restraint, courage, perseverence, balanced judgement, integrity. Why would we expect so much less when it comes to the most intimate contact they can engage in with another human being. Sure, sex uncomplicated by responsibility feels great for 5 minutes, but so does telling off an arrogant boss and quitting a frustrating job…so would abandoning the danger of the battlefield…so does playing hookey from work or school…but those are the things a boy might choose for his gratification, never a real man with aspirations for real success.

A real man EARNS his way, his reputation, his finances, his security AND his woman by investing his time, hard work and discipline and then protects them by commiting his life to maintaining them. This is what I found in the man I married and will encourage my girls to hold out for the same. Settling for anything less is absolutely cheating yourself. Women are in the unique position to help a man be his best–or his most base. What role she chooses says as much about the woman’s character as the man’s.
 
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