why pray?

[Cathyd241]

I used to think I had a really good relationship with God. Last year, I was horrified to learn that I was pregnant with a baby that wasn’t going to live, due to a genetic disorder. I chose to carry as long as God would allow, and prayed for the best. In the meantime, I received an outpouring of support from members of my parish. Many prayer cards were sent from local seminaries, convents and shrines, stating that rosaries and masses were being said on behalf on my child and our family. My husband and I went to a healing and prayer service, and were prayed over. We frequently attended adoration as well. Despite all our prayers, and the prayers of others, our child was stillborn at 39 weeks.

I don’t really know what I expected. Of course, a miracle would’ve been nice, but in my heart I didn’t really believe that was going to happen. Nevertheless, the situation left me feeling angry and bitter and abandoned by God.

Now,when I hear people say “praise the Lord, He’s answered our prayers!”, I just get annoyed. What used to bring me joy now brings me great distress.

This left me thinking about all the faithful Christians that I know of or have heard of, who despite all their prayers, have suffered a great deal in one way or another. There are plenty of references in the bible about how God has plans, and the course of our lives are already known to Him. He knows what things will happen to us…another words, our destiny is already mapped out. So if this is the case, then why bother to pray any intentions at all? It’s not like God is just going to change His mind and “reroute” our destiny, right? Any comments?

 

[LilyM]

I used to think I had a really good relationship with God. Last year, I was horrified to learn that I was pregnant with a baby that wasn’t going to live, due to a genetic disorder. I chose to carry as long as God would allow, and prayed for the best. In the meantime, I received an outpouring of support from members of my parish. Many prayer cards were sent from local seminaries, convents and shrines, stating that rosaries and masses were being said on behalf on my child and our family. My husband and I went to a healing and prayer service, and were prayed over. We frequently attended adoration as well. Despite all our prayers, and the prayers of others, our child was stillborn at 39 weeks.

I don’t really know what I expected. Of course, a miracle would’ve been nice, but in my heart I didn’t really believe that was going to happen. Nevertheless, the situation left me feeling angry and bitter and abandoned by God.

Now,when I hear people say “praise the Lord, He’s answered our prayers!”, I just get annoyed. What used to bring me joy now brings me great distress.

This left me thinking about all the faithful Christians that I know of or have heard of, who despite all their prayers, have suffered a great deal in one way or another. There are plenty of references in the bible about how God has plans, and the course of our lives are already known to Him. He knows what things will happen to us…another words, our destiny is already mapped out. So if this is the case, then why bother to pray any intentions at all? It’s not like God is just going to change His mind and “reroute” our destiny, right? Any comments?

Condolences on your loss. I have no doubt your child is now an angel praying for you in Heaven.

Most of the time I try not to pray for God to change His mind about anything, rather I pray for the strength and grace to accept His will whatever it may be, and to offer up any suffering if I must suffer.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

I used to think I had a really good relationship with God. Last year, I was horrified to learn that I was pregnant with a baby that wasn’t going to live, due to a genetic disorder. I chose to carry as long as God would allow, and prayed for the best. In the meantime, I received an outpouring of support from members of my parish. Many prayer cards were sent from local seminaries, convents and shrines, stating that rosaries and masses were being said on behalf on my child and our family. My husband and I went to a healing and prayer service, and were prayed over. We frequently attended adoration as well. Despite all our prayers, and the prayers of others, our child was stillborn at 39 weeks.

I don’t really know what I expected. Of course, a miracle would’ve been nice, but in my heart I didn’t really believe that was going to happen. Nevertheless, the situation left me feeling angry and bitter and abandoned by God.

Now,when I hear people say “praise the Lord, He’s answered our prayers!”, I just get annoyed. What used to bring me joy now brings me great distress.

This left me thinking about all the faithful Christians that I know of or have heard of, who despite all their prayers, have suffered a great deal in one way or another. There are plenty of references in the bible about how God has plans, and the course of our lives are already known to Him. He knows what things will happen to us…another words, our destiny is already mapped out. So if this is the case, then why bother to pray any intentions at all? It’s not like God is just going to change His mind and “reroute” our destiny, right? Any comments?

My very real condolances…it is an overwhelming tragedy, I know from personal experience, for a mother to loose a child and your anger and bitterness is entirely understandable. Our emotions are outside very often of our own volition and are simply automatic involuntary responses to a situation. But then we are faced with the problem, if our emotional reaction is negative, of how to deal with them.

When we pray for some special intention ideally we should be in the spirit of the Our Father and to pray that we will be able to accept God’s Will should our special intention not be granted. We are then praying in the spirit of the Our Father.“My Ways are not your ways” …and this can be very difficult and absolutely painful to accept…and the road to acceptance may be a journey and perhaps the journey that will lead us to a more mature Faith. Life as it is lived out most often will challenge our highest ideals and aspirations.

Anger and bitterness are quite normal human reactions and amoral - they are neither good nor bad… it is what we do with that bitterness and anger that is important, introducing morality. Very often it is a negative life event and our darker side and our negative emotions that can be the road and journey to a newer and more mature Faith. All these negative and passionate emotions may loom up as we are forced to face some terrible event in our lives, and they take us quite by surprise perhaps in their vehemence.
It is intrinsic to the human condition that suffering in some form will enter into our lives and no person whatsoever can avoid it…Jesus knew the dark pits of suffering and His mother was with Him, her only Son, as He died in a quite horrific manner. All this, from one angle, tells us is only that Jesus and His mother had to face overwhelming personal and horrific tragedy in their own lives. They were and are as very human and vulnerable as we are. The other result of this terrible event in their lives is that our own sufferings do have value and are redemptive united to theirs…but even that knowledge may not even take a slight edge off our own negative emotions and our own terrible life event.

I dont know how much you feel like reading at this point, but this may be helpful and I will pray it will be, if you should get around to reading it:
How to handle anger with God:
americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0790.asp

In real sorrow at your loss…Barb

 

[Coreopisis]

Hi Cathy,
I can hardly imagine how hard it must be to get through your days right now.

You are grieving and with grief it is totally normal that you are angry with God but I find comfort in the fact that you believe in God. This is goign to be a long hard road to go down but you will get through this. I will pray for you, your family and your baby.
Love, Sarah

 

[jazzbaby1]

My deepest condolences on the loss of your child. Know that God is with you even as you suffer and that He weeps for your grief. Grieving can be a prayer, too. Prayer is not always joy; sometimes it is our deepest sorrow, laid at His feet. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. May He bless you with His comfort.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Remember that God permits suffers so that a greater good may occur.

Let your child in heaven be your prayer warrior for your family. Name the child and talk to the child.

Prayer is just conversation with God. Remember that not all prayer is asking for things, some is just communications or praise.

Let this tragedy improve your prayerlife. Ask your child to ask God to deepen your prayerlife and enrich your spirituality.

I have lost all of my children (at least 3) to miscarriages, so I understand some of your pain. I really wanted to have lots of children living on earth with me, but that seems not to be.

God bless

 

[InLight247]

**When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you. **

I am sorry for your terrible loss. I hope the above quotes bring you some comfort.

Years ago one of my Catholic friends who had hard time to conceive finally got pregnant.
We were happy for her. But then she had a miscarriage. I remember someone made a
comment like this, “She is such a nice person, why does this happen?”
No one had an answer. But Later on this friend gave birth to two sons.

My hairdresser had a still born couple years ago. But later she gave birth to a baby girl after three sons. God is always good. Trust in Him.

What better choice do we have other than trust and constantly pray to Him?

God bless!

 

[Kevin42]

Before I give you my (name removed by moderator)ut, I want to say that I do not say this with sarcasm, but with all seriousness and love. While my response is short, please do not let that lead you to believe I do not sympathize and feel sorry for what has happened to you.

The reason to pray is because Jesus did. It’s in the bible. He teaches us how to pray with the Lord’s Prayer, and with how he prayed in the garden. We are called by Him to imitate Him, and this includes praying. God is love, and not only are we being obedient when we pray, but we are doing ourselves and others more good than we can ever realize.

Also, I suggest you ask Mary to pray for you. She saw her Son humiliated, tortured, and murdered, so she most certainly can empathize with how losing a child feels.

Peace be with you, and God bless.

 

[stove]

First of all I want to say that I am sorry and that you are a real inspiration to have kept your baby in such circumstances. In today’s culture, it is a very rare and courageous person to stand up for life and even though I do not know exactly how you feel, I do know a little of what it is like to lose a child as I have lost a child due to abortion.

I want to touch on one thing that you have said. It seems that you are confused about how God works.

There are plenty of references in the bible about how God has plans, and the course of our lives are already known to Him. He knows what things will happen to us…another words, our destiny is already mapped out. So if this is the case, then why bother to pray any intentions at all? It’s not like God is just going to change His mind and “reroute” our destiny, right? Any comments?

Your idea of destiny is wrong. God does know what will happen to us but we still have free will. God is outside of time so he can see everything that is going to happen. He can see all the choices we are going to make. Etc. We create our own destinies by the choices we make and the things we do. You could have chosen to abort your baby and done the wrong thing, sinned against God, but instead you did the right thing because you CHOSE to do it.

Here is some info on freewill and predestination: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=5057