Why premarital sex is wrong?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ceciliatherese
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

ceciliatherese

Guest
Hi everyone,
I was wondering if you had any advice as to how I can explain to my younger brother (he’s 15) that sex outside of marriage is wrong, leaving God out of the picture? I mean, he thinks it’s just a Catholic doctrine.
thanks 😉
 
Tell him one reason is that not one method of ABC is 100% effective.

He could become a father. Shouldn’t his child be born to parents that are married and love each other?
 
As long as he is prepared to be a Dad, and to support and care for a child and its mom from pregnancy to adulthood from his own resources, and vow a lifetime commitment to that effect, sex should be OK. The word for that is marriage. But if he intends to abandon mom and baby to the care of others, then he’s not ready for sex.
 
ceciliatherese said:
Hi everyone,
I was wondering if you had any advice as to how I can explain to my younger brother (he’s 15) that sex outside of marriage is wrong, leaving God out of the picture? I mean, he thinks it’s just a Catholic doctrine.
thanks 😉
Click to expand...
If you leave God out of it nothing is wrong, not even murder.
 
JimG said:
As long as he is prepared to be a Dad, and to support and care for a child and its mom from pregnancy to adulthood from his own resources, and vow a lifetime commitment to that effect, sex should be OK. The word for that is marriage. But if he intends to abandon mom and baby to the care of others, then he’s not ready for sex.
Click to expand...
I love how you break it down to the essentials. It’s too easy to clutter our understanding of marriage with contemporary customs and then to think they’re necessary. A big wedding and plenty of money are nice, but not necessary. Commitment and care are not optional.
 
Sex was made by God (in part) to create a bond between two people, a bond that would help them stay together a lifetime. By engaging in this act with someone who is not our spouse, we not only create this bond (which will be hard to break if we don’t marry them) but also craft obstacles for creating a deep bond with our spouse in the future.

The most wonderful marital relationships occur when two people have only ever given themselves to each other. There is no worry about jealousy, no comparisons, no doubt about whether one person can live up to the other partner’s “standards”. There is just an intimate bond.

This intimate bond is worth waiting for. It is not worth throwing the opportunity away arbitrarily on someone you aren’t married to. Save yourself for marriage and you will have a much happier life in the long run, the way God intended it to be.
 
The Catholic doctrine against premarital sex is compelling enough by itself, although there are also secular reasons that weigh a lot by its own merits. Premarital sex is closely tied up with the use of contraceptives, and I found a provocative analysis by economist Timothy Reichert who argues from a societal and economic vantage point that the social result of contraception and premarital sex is disastrous. It also uses amusing terms like “poaching”, “competitive advantage”, “prisoner’s dilemma” in the context of sex and marriage.

thefreelibrary.com/Bitter+pill:+in+a+provocative+analysis,+economist+Timothy+Reichert…-a0224167006
 
the thing is, he doesn’t see the difference between two unmarried people living together who have promised each other that they’d never leave each other, love each other forever, etc. and who dont believe in God and so do not believe in the power of the marriage bond. he doesn’t see how just getting married is so different…
thanks everyone for your replies so far <:)
 
ceciliatherese said:
the thing is, he doesn’t see the difference between two unmarried people living together who have promised each other that they’d never leave each other, love each other forever, etc. and who dont believe in God and so do not believe in the power of the marriage bond. he doesn’t see how just getting married is so different…
thanks everyone for your replies so far <:)
Click to expand...
Two people who don’t believe in God are certainly capable of getting married. If they “promise each other that they’ll never leave each other, love each other forever, etc.,” that sounds like marriage vows to me. And they should make those promises, to each other, to the community, and to their future children.
 
— and as much as I believe in all of those things, if you sat 100 married men down and asked them if they wished they’d had less sex or more sex before they got married I would bet over 80% would say more if they were honest. It’s a tough sell to a 15 year old. I would definitely show him what having a baby in the house is like. borrow a baby and let him sit some weekend for 24 hours with only emergency help
 
Lutheranteach said:
— and as much as I believe in all of those things, if you sat 100 married men down and asked them if they wished they’d had less sex or more sex before they got married I would bet over 80% would say more if they were honest. It’s a tough sell to a 15 year old. I would definitely show him what having a baby in the house is like. borrow a baby and let him sit some weekend for 24 hours with only emergency help
Click to expand...
Good idea. By the time I was 15, I had babysat younger brothers and sisters, neighborhood kids, and infants, and knew it was trying of one’s patience and required constant attention.
 
JimG said:
Two people who don’t believe in God are certainly capable of getting married. If they “promise each other that they’ll never leave each other, love each other forever, etc.,” that sounds like marriage vows to me. And they should make those promises, to each other, to the community, and to their future children.
Click to expand...
he knows that, he just thinks if they make private vows they should be free to have sex.
 
ceciliatherese said:
he knows that, he just thinks if they make private vows they should be free to have sex.
Click to expand...
Private vows? That’s a good line. “I love you forever; now let’s have sex.” Doesn’t sound too much different from when I was a teenager. If they love each other forever they should be proud to announce that commitment to the community.

Edit: I should add that, when the contraceptives fail, as they inevitably will, there is no such thing as “private” parenthood.
 
ceciliatherese said:
he knows that, he just thinks if they make private vows they should be free to have sex.
Click to expand...
This sounds like a way for him to disappear into the woodwork when his private vow wife gets pregnant. His children deserve his name and support. So does his wife. Why doesn’t he want his wife to get death benefits if he dies? It doesn’t seem like a manly, responsible approach.
 
These are my 2 reasons, I was involved in AIDs activist group and charities in my post teens. At that time the general mind was it was only a Gay disease, but the truth of the matter was it effected more then just Gays. I sort of saw 1st hand what STDs can do to a person and how sex can trap one in a vicious cycle. Plus while I feel condoms still play a role in sexuality, it just leads them into this vicious cycle.

The other thing is, I do not know what other woman are like in bed, I have no one to compare her to. While this may seem harsh or petty, its really not, it removes the urge to find something better since ignorance is bliss. I think my wife is absolutly perfect for me.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top