Why should Cafeteria Catholics leave the Church? How could we?

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If you were my son or daughter- I would tell you to continue to pray, attend mass, receive communion, go to penance. I would tell you not to call yourself a cafeteria catholic. If you pr ay and focus on devotion, Jesus will guide you in the right direction. Keep things very simple in faith and perhaps this is what you need to do for a season. If possible surround yourself with other Catholics-iron sharpens iron.
 
After reading through most of this thread, I was reminded of the scene in John 6 where many of the disciples left over the teaching of the Eucharist. Jesus asked the 12 if they were going to leave too. Their response was, “Where shall we go? You have the words of eternal life”. The Apostles did not understand all that Jesus taught - yet they remained - trying to understand and placing their faith in Jesus.

When we struggle with Church teaching, and all of us do at some point or other, I think that it is good to recall this idea. This idea of not “making up our minds”, but of sticking around and trying to understand.

So to the OP, I join the others in saying that you should not leave the Church…BUT…
(you knew there would be a but didn’t you…:D)
It is very important that you keep these doubts of yours to yourself - and perhaps your spiritual counselor. It is important that you NOT teach them to other Catholics. To do so would be to place your soul in mortal danger for Jesus himself said that it would be better for those who lead others astray to have a millstone tied around their neck and tossed into the sea. (Mt 18:6)
And by the way I don’t consider this thread to be a violation of what I just stated since the subject is not the particular teachings.

So - If you harbor private doubts and concerns about Church teachings that is one thing…Please stay and continue to discuss, inquire even debate and learn.
But - if you feel driven to take your heterodox views public - not as questions but as “teaching” under your received “guidance from God” - and in a manner that causes confusion and scandal then yes I would say that you need to leave the Church.

Peace
James
 
Yes, I am a cafeteria catholic. There are many issues in which I feel the Church is wrong.
Let’s start with this: this is not a rational position. The Church has three types of doctrines: those declared infallible (ex cathedra), those taught infallibly, and what are called ordinary teachings. The Church teaching on women priests is an example of the second type. The significance of rejecting such a teaching is simply this: you reject the very basis on which the Church claims to exist. It is not simply that you disagree with the Church about the nature of the priesthood; whether or not you realize it you are rejecting what the Church believes about herself. Simply put, if the Church is wrong on this point there is no reason to believe she is right about anything and certainly no reason to believe she is what she claims to be. A rejection of an infallible teaching is a rejection of the Church and you should understand it as such.
Some have told me I am not a true Catholic, and I should leave the Church.
It is not true (as some have claimed) that "Once a Catholic, always a Catholic."Actually only those are to be included (annumerandi) as members of the Church who have been baptized and profess the true faith, and who have not been so unfortunate as to separate themselves from the unity of the Body (neque a Corporis compage semet ipsos misere separarunt), or been excluded by legitimate authority for grave faults committed. (Pius XII - Mystici Corporus Christi)
I believe the Catholic Church is the religion started by Jesus. So why would I leave just because they made a few mistakes?
Because you have rejected a basic tenet of the Church and once you’ve done that nothing else about the Church hangs together. If you are right and the Church has made “mistakes” in her core beliefs then everything she proclaims is suspect and there is no reason to believe any claim she makes. At this point it is irrational to be a Catholic.
Notice that I do not disagree with the church on any issues decided “ex cathedra”, or infallibly.
You haven’t disputed the (two) ex cathedra declarations but you have surely rejected several infallible teachings.

Ender
 
Yes, I am a cafeteria catholic. There are many issues in which I feel the Church is wrong. At first, I though I was wrong, but after asking for guidance from God, I believe He has told me that the Church has, indeed, stayed, and therefore I keep my beliefs.
I’m amused by the sheer volume of people who think it’s God’s job to validate your opinions. Especially when everyone’s opinions conflict.
Some have told me I am not a true Catholic, and I should leave the Church. I have considered this many times, but there is a problem. I agree with the Church on all issues of " faith". I believe the Catholic Church is the religion started by Jesus. So why would I leave just because they made a few mistakes?
If you believe all these things then you ought to believe those things it teaches under the teaching authority which Jesus explicitly gave it, and which He promised they would exercise with His guidance. And therefore you ought to believe that it is impossible for the Church to make “a few mistakes” in its teachings. (Dollars to donuts, by the way, that you, like most dissenters, think those mistakes mostly have to do with sex).
I believe the Church is the religion started by Jesus, and I believe the Pope is the rightful Head of that faith, whose job it is to be a spiritual leader to all Catholics.
Great. Then do your duty and submit to his authority.
I see no reason why women should not be priests. I believe this descends from the now-outdated idea of " some jobs belong to women, some belong to men".
The priesthood isn’t a job. It’s a vocation. And some vocations do belong exclusively to men and others to women. Fatherhood belongs to men, motherhood to women. You are talking about this issue using modern categories of speech that frustrate rational thought.

By the way, this teaching has been definitely and infallibly declared; see Ordinatio Sacerdotalis.
I see nothing wrong with homosexual unions. Since they have the same reproductive chances of a sterile heterosexual couple, I believe they are morally equal.
It’s not about “reproductive changes.” It’s about the natural function of sexual complementarity as God designed it. Sterile couples are sterile per accidens but they still retain the natural function which God assigned them by virtue of their sexuality; gay couples are sterile per se. Read philosophy. Or just submit the judgment of a thousand generations of holier and wiser men than you.
I see no problem with non-abortiofacient contraception. Condos have a 1% failure rate, NFP has a 1% failure rate. Neither is more open to conception, so both are equal.
This is embarrassing. It isn’t about chances. It isn’t about outcomes. Catholic ethics are non-consequentialist. Read Humanae Vitae.
Notice that I do not disagree with the church on any issues decided “ex cathedra”, or infallibly. Of course, some people on here claim all moral teaching of the church is infallible, which is not correct,
When we understand “moral teaching of the church” properly, they are infallible. Ex cathedra statements are just one means of promulgating such teachings. Do you realize it’s possible to do one thing in more than one way?
Yet these people want me to give up my deeply held beliefs to join another church.
No, they want you to repent of your errors and the hubris that motivates that you retain them against the judgment of a thousand generation of saint and the Church’s protection, by God Himself, of error in its moral teachings.
But my beliefs have MUCH more in common with Catholicism than with any other faith. So why would I leave to become a " cafeteria Episcopalian" or whatever, especially when my disagreements with that faith ate so much more important than my relatively minor disagreements with Catholicism?
They aren’t relatively minor, and you don’t get to decide what teachings have what importance. That’s another example of hubris, thinking you get to decide not only what teachings are in error but to what extent they can command belief, when you have authority to do neither. Being Catholic doesn’t mean checking off a laundry list of beliefs and getting 70% or above. This isn’t a class in undergrad.
 
No doubt. 😦 Hopefully the battering does not lead him further away if your intent is for him to be more faithful.
He certainly made me want to look further into the Protestant churches. Maybe it is people like him that lead people to live the Catholic church.
 
Julia, if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like a duck there’s no point letting it think it’s a swan 🤷
Did this kind of statement come from your Catholic faith?:
 
Originally Posted by Kevin B
THIS…👍

Jesus give precise instructions that when there is a problem we are to “tell it to the Church” and then we are to “Listen to the Church” for it is the Church which as the authority to “Bind and loose” “Whatever” (Mt 18:15-18)

We also see in Scripture where the Church exercises this authority by setting aside virtually the entire Mosaic Law at the Council of Jerusalem. (Acts 15)

Humility should dictate to us that our personal views, while important to overall understanding, should always be subject to the will of the Holy Spirit Christ founded, Holy Spirit guided Church.

Peace
James
 
After reading through most of this thread, I was reminded of the scene in John 6 where many of the disciples left over the teaching of the Eucharist. Jesus asked the 12 if they were going to leave too. Their response was, “Where shall we go? You have the words of eternal life”. The Apostles did not understand all that Jesus taught - yet they remained - trying to understand and placing their faith in Jesus.

When we struggle with Church teaching, and all of us do at some point or other, I think that it is good to recall this idea. This idea of not “making up our minds”, but of sticking around and trying to understand.

So to the OP, I join the others in saying that you should not leave the Church…BUT…
(you knew there would be a but didn’t you…:D)
It is very important that you keep these doubts of yours to yourself - and perhaps your spiritual counselor. It is important that you NOT teach them to other Catholics. To do so would be to place your soul in mortal danger for Jesus himself said that it would be better for those who lead others astray to have a millstone tied around their neck and tossed into the sea. (Mt 18:6)
And by the way I don’t consider this thread to be a violation of what I just stated since the subject is not the particular teachings.

So - If you harbor private doubts and concerns about Church teachings that is one thing…Please stay and continue to discuss, inquire even debate and learn.
But - if you feel driven to take your heterodox views public - not as questions but as “teaching” under your received “guidance from God” - and in a manner that causes confusion and scandal then yes I would say that you need to leave the Church.

Peace
James
Egg-zactly.

Calls to mind the quote by the late, great Cardinal Newman: “Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt, for a man may be annoyed that he cannot work out a mathematical problem, without doubting that it admits an answer.”

Like you’re a college student in a Calc 3 class. You know the professor has the right answer. You just can’t get it. So it’s your job to wrestle with the problem…until you come to the same answer as the professor.
 
My dear brother in Christ

I appreciate your thoughtful post. Doubts are good. They show that you are growing in the faith, not away from it.

May I suggest you obtain a copy of the Catechism? You can find it at a resonable price at many bookstores or even read it on line.

Start from the beginning and read carefully and prayerfully. If nothing else you will come to appreciate the logic behind the teachings you have identified as problematic for you.

The Holy Spirit will meet you where you are.

Please don’t go, you are part of our body and are where you belong.
 
There are many Catholics out there who would agree with a lot of what you have stated and how you feel, some people have called them cafeteria Catholics and I have heard them called so-called Catholics. The problem is that either you believe and follow the rules or, the truth is, you are not in compliance with the Church teachings and are in a state of sin. You have to decide how important is that to you and what are you going to do about it. Frankly, I would urge you to keep your feelings to yourself unless you want to start a movement to begin a new Catholic Church, perhaps the Catholic Church of the United States, which I have heard tossed around many times. But, in the end we will still have the people who follow the Church’s teachings to the best of their ability, and who will never agree that some of the Church’s teachings can be up to you to decide if you agree. There are many people who want the world to change the Church in certain areas, female priests, contraception, gay marriage, but these secular views do not matter to the Church as God drives the rules and no one can challenge God’s truth. Find peace in your spiritual life so that you can enjoy the fruits of God’s blessings.
 
Unfortunately, these two statements demonstrate a serious misunderstanding of Church teaching.
Though I see it all the time, it never ceases to amaze me when Catholics on this site seem to think they can make the judgment that another Catholic misunderstands or is improperly catechized just because they may disagree or dissent. A Catholic may understand Church teaching quite well but may be at a point on their lifelong faith journey with our Lord where they disagree with something.

Thomas doubted. Even Peter, the first Pope, denied our Lord not once but multiple times.

As far as we know the OP knows Catholic teaching. In fact he seems to make the point he understands he disagrees on some things. And no where do I see from the OP that he is trying to teach his beliefs as being fully in line with Catholic teaching so to ask him to keep private I believe is unfair.

None of us mere mortals walking this earth can walk on water, attend a wedding reception and change water into more wine for the guests, nor have we achieved the perfection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
 
Though I see it all the time, it never ceases to amaze me when Catholics on this site seem to think they can make the judgment that another Catholic misunderstands or is improperly catechized just because they may disagree or dissent. A Catholic may understand Church teaching quite well but may be at a point on their lifelong faith journey with our Lord where they disagree with something.
Well, in this case, he himself advertised his misunderstandings of Church teachings. See why, for instance, he says he opposes the Church’s teachings on gay marriage and contraception. They rest on misapprehensions of what the Church actually teaches.
 
There isn’t really such a thing as a “cafeteria Episcopalian”, though. Unlike the Catholic Church, the Episcopal Church doesn’t demand that its laity believe detailed sets of dogma as a condition of membership. You can believe in a transubstantiation and still be an Episcopalian in good conscience, but you can’t believe in a female priesthood and be a Catholic in good conscience.
You may be confusing membership with full faithful practice. But it’s understandable because I’ve found even Catholics on this site who purport to be giving Catholic answers confuse them too. Also a Catholic such as you described might be at peace with their conscience but perhaps just not in good standing according to the Catholic Church. I understand you are of the United Church of Christ, a church I greatly respect btw. But Catholics who have a problem with baptized/confirmed Catholics remaining in the Catholic Church or calling themselves Catholic, probably need to take up their disagreement with the Church definition of who is a member of the Catholic Church with someone higher up the chain than me. 🙂 Peace be with you my friend in Christ and God bless!.
 
Everybody is a “cafeteria Catholic” Kevin. Well, except for Br JR, I guess. Maybe a few others. It’s relative. You’ll find the staunchly self-identified “Traditionalist” who will make clear if you read enough posts that they believe NOTHING that came from Vatican 2 or most of what Blessed John Paul II said and wrote because it disagrees with the Church they want to believe in which was what they understood from prior to 1962. They reject most of what the postVat2 Church has given us, like the NABRE, replace Church teachings with their own interpretations and think somebody should put the SSPX in charge. They think the Catechism promulgated by the Church contains heresy.

I agree there was this sort of mini-generation of way out there religious and priests, people who actually don’t believe in miracles, people who preached something not-God.

But I don’t think you and I are anything but normal Catholics, not shoved to one end or the other, just members of the faithful doing our best to make our way through life and follow Jesus as best we can through our Church.

Let’s not hang someone else’s label around our necks. Or any label but Catholic. I was only asked to be able to sincerely say the Nicene Creed when I came into the Church and I can still say that and it sounds like so can you.

Jesus said He would know who loved Him, they would be following His commands. Love, charity, humility, compassion, these are the commands I recall. No one can say who is in or out or real or whatever but Him.

We’re not going anywhere.
Julia, this was very well stated. Even when a Catholic denies someone who the Church also considers to be a Catholic, the right to call themselves Catholic if they choose to do so, they too are choosing from the cafe. Indeed each of us of faith are just trying to walk our journey through life on this earth in hope of eternal life. And no one can say but Him. God bless you for this post and His peace be wth you always.
 
He certainly made me want to look further into the Protestant churches. Maybe it is people like him that lead people to live the Catholic church.
People who as he said, batter, made me want to look further too.
 
Yes, I am a cafeteria catholic. There are many issues in which I feel the Church is wrong. At first, I though I was wrong, but after asking for guidance from God, I believe He has told me that the Church has, indeed, stayed, and therefore I keep my beliefs.

Some have told me I am not a true Catholic, and I should leave the Church. I have considered this many times, but there is a problem. I agree with the Church on all issues of " faith". I believe the Catholic Church is the religion started by Jesus. So why would I leave just because they made a few mistakes?

I believe the Church is the religion started by Jesus, and I believe the Pope is the rightful Head of that faith, whose job it is to be a spiritual leader to all Catholics.

I believe that works, along with faith, are required for salvation.

I do not believe the Bible is the sole source of God’s word on earth.

I believe in the intercession of saints, the assumption, the immaculate conception, perpetual virginity, and the transubstantiation.

So I agree with the Church on all matters I consider " faith". I just disagree with them on matters of social customs. Yet people think I can abandon my beliefs and go be a Protestant, even though I strongly disagree with them on almost all core issues.

I see no reason why women should not be priests. I believe this descends from the now-outdated idea of " some jobs belong to women, some belong to men".

I see nothing wrong with homosexual unions. Since they have the same reproductive chances of a sterile heterosexual couple, I believe they are morally equal.

I see no problem with non-abortiofacient contraception. Condos have a 1% failure rate, NFP has a 1% failure rate. Neither is more open to conception, so both are equal.

Notice that I do not disagree with the church on any issues decided “ex cathedra”, or infallibly. Of course, some people on here claim all moral teaching of the church is infallible, which is not correct, for if it were then “ex cathedra” teachings would be unnecessary. (Those people should probably take a lesson on papal infallibility here)
newadvent.org/cathen/07790a.htm

Yet these people want me to give up my deeply held beliefs to join another church. But my beliefs have MUCH more in common with Catholicism than with any other faith. So why would I leave to become a " cafeteria Episcopalian" or whatever, especially when my disagreements with that faith ate so much more important than my relatively minor disagreements with Catholicism?
this is the year of faith.Since you,for the most part believe and obey doctrines of the faith,maybe a refresher course n the Cathecism of the Catholic Church,would clarify some of the issues you have with social doctrine. I am enrolled in sch a study,complete the first pillar,which was the Creed.We will now start on the Sacraments.
 
He certainly made me want to look further into the Protestant churches. Maybe it is people like him that lead people to live the Catholic church.
I can’t help but think that this is the same response that people had to Jesus when he had some “hard sayings”. See John 6. After Jesus said that very difficult saying people went to look further into other theologies because they found Him so offensive.
 
Yes, I am a cafeteria catholic. There are many issues in which I feel the Church is wrong. At first, I though I was wrong, but after asking for guidance from God, I believe He has told me that the Church has, indeed, stayed, and therefore I keep my beliefs.

Some have told me I am not a true Catholic, and I should leave the Church. I have considered this many times, but there is a problem. I agree with the Church on all issues of " faith". I believe the Catholic Church is the religion started by Jesus. So why would I leave just because they made a few mistakes?

I believe the Church is the religion started by Jesus, and I believe the Pope is the rightful Head of that faith, whose job it is to be a spiritual leader to all Catholics.

I believe that works, along with faith, are required for salvation.

I do not believe the Bible is the sole source of God’s word on earth.

I believe in the intercession of saints, the assumption, the immaculate conception, perpetual virginity, and the transubstantiation.

So I agree with the Church on all matters I consider " faith". I just disagree with them on matters of social customs. Yet people think I can abandon my beliefs and go be a Protestant, even though I strongly disagree with them on almost all core issues.

I see no reason why women should not be priests. I believe this descends from the now-outdated idea of " some jobs belong to women, some belong to men".

I see nothing wrong with homosexual unions. Since they have the same reproductive chances of a sterile heterosexual couple, I believe they are morally equal.

I see no problem with non-abortiofacient contraception. Condos have a 1% failure rate, NFP has a 1% failure rate. Neither is more open to conception, so both are equal.

Notice that I do not disagree with the church on any issues decided “ex cathedra”, or infallibly. Of course, some people on here claim all moral teaching of the church is infallible, which is not correct, for if it were then “ex cathedra” teachings would be unnecessary. (Those people should probably take a lesson on papal infallibility here)
newadvent.org/cathen/07790a.htm

Yet these people want me to give up my deeply held beliefs to join another church. But my beliefs have MUCH more in common with Catholicism than with any other faith. So why would I leave to become a " cafeteria Episcopalian" or whatever, especially when my disagreements with that faith ate so much more important than my relatively minor disagreements with Catholicism?
A life of prayer and a life of the spirit, nurtured by the Sacraments of Confession and Communion. And pray the Rosary everyday.

Stay in the Catholic church but do the above really, really well. Only then will you be a convert of the will. Your conversion of the intellect is also incomplete.

But stay in the Catholic church and do the basic catholic things really, really well.

I pray for God’s blessing upon you, you poor soul.
 
Notice that I do not disagree with the church on any issues decided “ex cathedra”, or infallibly. Of course, some people on here claim all moral teaching of the church is infallible, which is not correct, for if it were then “ex cathedra” teachings would be unnecessary. (Those people should probably take a lesson on papal infallibility here)
newadvent.org/cathen/07790a.htm

Yet these people want me to give up my deeply held beliefs to join another church. But my beliefs have MUCH more in common with Catholicism than with any other faith. So why would I leave to become a " cafeteria Episcopalian" or whatever, especially when my disagreements with that faith ate so much more important than my relatively minor disagreements with Catholicism?
You’ve already left the Church, you just don’t wish to admit it. As for taking a lesson on Papal Infallibility, you might wish to look in the mirror on that one. I suggest starting here. catholicproductions.com/store/audio/apostle_peter_conference/apostle_peter_set.html

As for the rest, your beliefs have much more in common with modernism than they do with Catholicism. youtube.com/watch?v=6VT6NnlJvxg
 
I can’t help but think that this is the same response that people had to Jesus when he had some “hard sayings”. See John 6. After Jesus said that very difficult saying people went to look further into other theologies because they found Him so offensive.
PR, I shall nevertheless assume you aren’t equating or comparing anyone here who “batter” with their “hard sayings” with Jesus.
 
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