Why should i get married in the Catholic Church

[Questioning_1]

Allow me to play the devils advocate here.

I have been away from the church for a very long time. I am engaged with my long time fiance and we are now discussing getting married.

I would just like to hop in a plane and fly to Vegas but my mother would like us to get married in our local church.

Why should we?

What is the importance of having a Catholic wedding?

What is the importance of getting married in the confines of a church building as apposed to the beach or a chapel in Vegas?

Why all of it?

 

[fellowChristian]

You are inviting God to be a part of your marriage. Marriage is a vocation and should be treated as such. A man does not become a priest overnight. He prepares for his vocation. In a sacramental marriage we unite our bodies **and **our souls and become one.

Matrimony
**What is the sacrament of Matrimony? **

Matrimony is the sacrament by which a baptized man and a baptized woman bind themselves for life in a lawful marriage and receive the grace to discharge their duties.
And God created man to his own image; to the image of God he created him. Male and female he created them. And God blessed them, saying “Increase and multiply, and fill the earth.” (Genesis 1:27-28)

** What are the chief duties of husband and wife in the married state? **

The chief duties of husband and wife in the married state are to be faithful to each other, and to provide in every way for the welfare of the children God may give them.
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is becoming in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter towards them. (Colossians 3:18-19)

** Why does the bond of the sacrament of Matrimony last until the death of husband or wife? **

The bond of the sacrament of Matrimony lasts until the death of husband or wife because Christ has said: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”
A woman is bound as long as her husband is alive, but if her husband dies, she is free. (I Corinthians 7:39)

**What is meant by the unity of the sacrament of Matrimony? **

By the unity of the sacrament of Matrimony is meant that the husband cannot during the life of his wife have another wife, nor the wife during the life of her husband have another husband.

**Why is every true marriage between a baptized man and a baptized woman a sacrament? **

Every true marriage between a baptized man and a baptized woman is a sacrament because Christ Himself raised every marriage of this kind to the dignity of a sacrament.

**Why has the Catholic Church alone the right to make laws regulating the marriages of baptized persons? **

The Catholic Church alone has the right to make laws regulating the marriages of baptized persons because the Church alone has authority over the sacraments and over sacred matters affecting baptized persons.

**What authority has the State regarding the marriages of baptized persons? **

Regarding the marriages of baptized persons, the State has the authority to make laws concerning their effects that are merely civil.
Then he said to them, “Render, therefore, to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” (Matthew 22:21)

** What is necessary to receive the sacrament of Matrimony worthily? **

To receive the sacrament of Matrimony worthily it is necessary to be in the state of grace, to know the duties of married life, and to obey the marriage laws of the Church.
For we are children of the saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God. (Tobias 8:5)

** In whose presence do the laws of the Church require a Catholic to be married? **

The laws of the Church require a Catholic to be married in the presence of the parish priest, or the bishop of the diocese, or a priest delegated by either of them, and before two witnesses.

** What are the chief effects of the sacrament of Matrimony? **

The chief effects of the sacrament of Matrimony are: first, an increase of sanctifying grace; second, the special help of God for husband and wife to love each other faithfully, to bear with each other’s faults, and to bring up their children properly.

**What should Catholics do to prepare for a holy and happy marriage? **

To prepare for a holy and happy marriage, Catholics should:
first, pray that God may direct their choice;
second, seek the advice of their parents and confessors;
third, practice the virtues, especially chastity:
fourth, frequently receive the sacraments of Penance and Holy Eucharist.
Or do you not know that your members are the temple of the Holy Ghost, who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought at a great price. Glorify God and bear him in your body. (I Corinthians 6:19-20)

** How can Catholics best obtain God’s blessing for their marriage? **

Catholics can best obtain God’s blessing for their marriage by being married at a Nuptial Mass and by receiving Holy Communion devoutly.
Sara also said, “Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us; and let us grow old both together in health.” (Tobias 8:10)

 

[fellowChristian]

It is Holy Matrimony

Ephesians 5:20-33 "Giving thanks always for all things, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God and the Father:

The priest is in persona of Christ. When the priest baptizes us he is doing so in persona of Christ,when the bishop confirms us he is doing so in persona of Christ.

When you say your vows to eachother you are making an oath in front of Christ. In His church. In the presence of the Holy Eucharist. Christ is your witness.

Marriage is a gift from God it is a true blessing. Not something we should take lightly. Read why and prepare.

Catechism of the Catholic Church

usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2chpt3art7.htm

Holy Matrimony
fisheaters.com/holymatrimony.html

 

[Al_Masetti]

This is a semi-complicated question.

Marriage in a Catholic ceremony is a Sacrament.

The most conventional functional definition of a Sacrament is that it is an outward sign, instituted by Christ, to give Grace. The seven Sacraments are Baptism, Confirmation, the Eucharist (Holy Communion), Holy Orders, Reconciliation of a Penitent (confession), Anointing of the Sick (previously called Extreme Unction), and Matrimony.

Rather than being symbols or symbolic or casual intentions or words or appearances, Sacraments are “it”. They are permanent actions, not to be taken lightly, usually involving other people (the spouse, or the community, or the children, etc.).

These are not only major life milestones, but by any stretch of the imagination, they are Big Deals. Major “turning points” or “way points” in a person’s life.

Each of these forms a part of the covenant with God, personally, “one on one”, as it were.

So at each of these “opportunities”, we involve God in our lives. We call upon Him to witness our passage and we call upon Him to provide special strength “Grace” ] to meet the challenges in the next phase of our lives. [And after getting through each phase or sub-phase, even if it only a car ride, we should say “Thank You”, even if to say “Thank You for this adversity”… because sometimes adversities are not adversities at all.]

In a covenantal marriage, we pledge ourselves to God … to involve God in our progress … and we deliberately choose to make a statement such as “… til death do us part.” [The idea of “covenant” starts with the Covenant that God made with mankind. Which is a whole study topic in itself.]

There are benefits to marriage, such as being open to life and providing a safe and stable home for children. And by involving God in our marriage, we get this extra measure of Grace.

It’s very difficult when we are young(er) to fully appreciate the magnitude of the challenges facing us as we get older. We may have had challenges while in school, or in our first jobs or while in the military, but we may not have fully appreciated the “Divine Assistance” we received along the way.

But as we have gotten older, we began to appreciate God’s Providence more and more. There are challenges of all kinds in marriage … the marriage vows only begin to touch on them … for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Maybe you have no idea what you are committing yourself to. We can’t tell what the future holds in store for us.

But we have optimism and hope.

We can’t go back in time; and later on we may wish we had done things a little differently … maybe taken advantage of some of the benefits, the Graces and Blessings, that the Church offers.

That’s why it creates a "win-win"environment when we start off our married lives with a full “charge” in our battery of Grace.

I know I’m mixing my metaphors a little and maybe I sound a little “flip” … but in modern terms the idea of our souls being a kind of “rechargeable battery for Grace” may not be a bad analogy. The Church is the “chief dispenser of Grace”.

You started off with a question: Why should I get married in the Catholic Church … and in your profile you sort of suggested you were searching.

Indeed, why get married at all.

If you are searching, you might want to find an hour and just sit in front of the tabernacle, or if you can find a parish that has Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration, just sit in front of the exposed Blessed Sacrament … Jesus in the Monstrance … and let Him work on you for a while.

On Saturday afternoon, you might want to stop by a Catholic Church and visit the priest in the confessional and just say you’ve been away for a number of years “Bless me. father, for I have sinned. It has been many years since my last confession” … and tell him about your life] … maybe make an appointment or get his phone number to call later for some one-on-one spiritual direction or just a discussion on “why get married in the Catholic Church”.

I’ve rambled on a bit. And for that I apologize.

 

[THurifer2]

Why all of it?

I guess the question is why in the world would you want to become married? If you don’t want to include GOd in you life than going through a Wedding ceremony and getting married sounds like a waste of time. Since you came to a religious forum with this question I will tell you that Marriage in reality is a religious word. The origins of the word marriage come from scripture. SO if I may ask why would you inquire about a religious matter when you are not interested in religion? In order for you to understand “why all of it” you must make an earnest efffort to seek and understand you God and his saving son Jesus Christ. Perhaps returning to the Church would be a good way to understand “why all of it”. The confession would be a good place to start.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Allow me to play the devils advocate here.

I have been away from the church for a very long time. I am engaged with my long time fiance and we are now discussing getting married.

I would just like to hop in a plane and fly to Vegas but my mother would like us to get married in our local church.

Why should we?

What is the importance of having a Catholic wedding?

What is the importance of getting married in the confines of a church building as apposed to the beach or a chapel in Vegas?

Why all of it?

If you are not Catholic then it makes no sense nor is it required for a valid Marriage.

If you are Catholic then you would have nothing to do with an invalid Marriage and want to celebrate the SACRAMENT of Marriage properly, with Christ as the center focus.

So the bigger question is :

Are you Catholic or not?

 

[KCT]

Because at some point, you’ll need the grace of the sacrament! Marriage is tough. Why not include God in your lives and rely on His grace to help you through? —KCT

 

[Pug]

If you are not Catholic then it makes no sense nor is it required for a valid Marriage.

Please note though, that just because you decide the answer to the question is that you are not Catholic that this does not mean that the Church views it in the same way as you do. Most likely, the Church will think your marriage is invalid if you marry outside the Church.

Merely deciding that you aren’t Catholic does not make it possible for you to validly marry outside the Church. (AFAIK, based on the clarification issued in 2006).

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Please note though, that just because you decide the answer to the question is that you are not Catholic that this does not mean that the Church views it in the same way as you do. Most likely, the Church will think your marriage is invalid if you marry outside the Church.

Merely deciding that you aren’t Catholic does not make it possible for you to validly marry outside the Church. (AFAIK, based on the clarification issued in 2006).

That is an important distinction. If you are actually not Catholic then my statement applies. If you are a “non-practicing” Catholic or an “inactive” Catholic, then you are still Catholic.

 

[Matas]

I have been away from the church for a very long time. I am engaged with my long time fiance and we are now discussing getting married.

You say that you’ve been away from the church… Do you mean, The Church? If you mean The Chuch, as in Catholic Church, then you must be Catholic? If so, welcome back and our prayers go out to you as you begin the road back. This forum is a great place for returning Catholics to get their bearings again.

My advice to you is decide if your are in, or you are out. If you are in, then jump all the way in. The marriage part will make much more sense to you later.

 

[Questioning_1]

I am a Catholic, I just do not see the over all reason for being married within The Church by a priest.

I was baptized and everything else, i just don’t understand why it is important.

Ok, i am starting my life out with God in his house. Can’t i just do the same if we went to Vegas and started going to church later. Is not our marriage the same?

Thank you for all your comments this really helps.

 

[Questioning_1]

SO if I may ask why would you inquire about a religious matter when you are not interested in religion? In order for you to understand “why all of it” you must make an earnest efffort to seek and understand you God and his saving son Jesus Christ. Perhaps returning to the Church would be a good way to understand “why all of it”. The confession would be a good place to start.

I am on a religious forum because my mother has asked me to marry in the Church. I do not want to. I have asked question on here before so i figured this is the best place to come.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I am on a religious forum because my mother has asked me to marry in the Church. I do not want to. I have asked question on here before so i figured this is the best place to come.

If you don’t think it’s important for you to marry your fiancee according to the rite of the Church, and you do not want to do so, then don’t do so. You will incur mortal sin if you carry out your plan, and not be able to receive the sacraments until you rectify the situation, if you ever do. You will not be considered married by the Church. Oh- and what you have done by going toVegas will be done to the two of you. Marriage (not wedding) in the Church involves the couple conferring the sacrament upon each other. In short, go ahead and sin, but don’t expect the Church to bend over backwards for you once you have done so.

However, you should think about why you don’t want to marry in the Church.

If it is because you think a Catholic wedding involves a lot of folderol in terms of dresses and tuxes and receptions with 300 people milling about drinking champagne, that is all unnecessary to the Catholic Rite of Marriage. All you really need are a priest and two witnesses, and the necessary preparation according the rules of your diocese. It’s big “weddings” (a one day thing) that require 6-9 months prep. The Rite of Marriage can probably be accomplished in 3 months, with the prep, depending on where you live.

If you just want to get married legally in the United States, again, you can do as you please. Just don’t expect the priest to welcome you with open arms upon your immediate return from Vegas, wanting to help you immediately correct your error. You will still have to wait the prescribed time for a marriage in your diocese, and you will still have to go to confession with full purpose of amendment. While I am not your judge, to me it doesn’t seem you have that. You will probably be expected to live as brother and sister until you do get the marriage convalidated.

Please don’t expect people in a Catholic forum to talk you into the sacrament when you come into the forum, appear to cop an attitude, and won’t listen to their advice or explanation. Please don’t expect them to somehow “talk you into it”. It’s plain to me you seem to be bent on flying to Vegas and doing things your way, breaking your mother’s heart for whatever reason inthe process.

If you feel any contrition at all, go rent “My Big, Fat Greek Wedding” and “Muriel’s Wedding”.The message is plain as day.

 

[stbruno]

foryourmarriage.org/interior_template.asp?id=20398792

Recently a new website was launched called www.foryourmarriage.org

It is an amazing website with marriage builders built right in. Please explore the whole website. However, the biggest reason to get married in the Catholic church is, because it is almost the last place in the whole world that supports the institution of marriage and the family. Other faiths include the dissolution of those unions, but the Church says…Until death do you part, not until you get tired of one another, or the luster of excitement diminishes, or when someone else looks more appealing or the going gets rough…get out. With the daily ministering of this sacrament, every day when you get up…God says, I am with you in this marriage bond. I made a committment to this union even stronger than the one you shared with your spouse…
So when you don’t invite God to the wedding, like in a Vegas chapel…He’s not going to be there. So knock and the door will be answered…If you want to be in close union with Him as in the sacrament and all the days afterward, if you remain in sanctifying grace…get married in the Church. Your family, particularly the children who are fruit of this love will benefit.
A family that prays together stays together is not just a clever verse…it’s a fact, especially when you practice Natural Family Family planning, less than 1% divorce rate.

 

[Pug]

I am a Catholic, I just do not see the over all reason for being married within The Church by a priest.

Since you are a Catholic, you have a commitment to live out a life of faith, especially in the context of the community of your brothers and sisters in Christ. A Catholic values that communion and does not wish to break it. So, you want to get married in the Church

1. So that you may receive the graces that you know Jesus has promised through the sacrament of Matrimony. It won’t be a sacrament if you marry outside of the form set by the Church. Those graces are designed to help you be faithful to your spouse and to live out your marriage commitment.
2. So that you don’t marry outside the Church and break your communion with the body of Christ.
3. So that you may continue to be a light to all the people in your family and community who are younger than you and are buoyed up by your witness to an upright life, a life of faith.
4. Because you are a Catholic who is obedient to the laws of Christ’s Church, and you have no desire to break those laws (by marrying against the form set by the Church). Christ made this sacrament for you, why shun it?
5. Because you want to retain the intimate connection that all the sacraments have, so you want your marriage in the Church, connected with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Each spouse offers themselves as a sacrifice for the other; you sacrifice things to make each other happy. Like moving to a new town because of their job or whatever. It is this kind of love that Christ has for us, sacrificial love.

Another poster made a good point. If the reason you don’t want to get married in the Church is because you don’t want one of those huge weddings, this is no problem. You can do it very small. Just the priest or deacon and some witnesses, and not the whole song and dance and expense. You don’t need flowers, a dress, a party, guests, lists, ribbons, music, etc.

I’m glad you are spending the time to find out what is behind the sacrament of Matrimony. Remember, a husband and wife’s love is like Christ’s love for the Church, and that is quite a sight! A marriage is a place to come to know Christ even more as you love one another and to bring others to Christ (like children perhaps).

 

[estesbob]

Allow me to play the devils advocate here.

I have been away from the church for a very long time. I am engaged with my long time fiance and we are now discussing getting married.

I would just like to hop in a plane and fly to Vegas but my mother would like us to get married in our local church.

Why should we?

What is the importance of having a Catholic wedding?

What is the importance of getting married in the confines of a church building as apposed to the beach or a chapel in Vegas?

Why all of it?

In my opinion you honor your motherby reconciling with the church and getting married in front of the Creator of the universe. There will be plenty of time to go to Vegas later.

 

[Al_Masetti]

Some things that get broken cannot be fixed.

Sometimes, there is nothing that can be done.

If someone takes off in an airplane and runs out of gas, there are no “do-overs”.

Think … meditate … think carefully before throwing the Catholic Church under the bus. Some actions taken in the heat of the moment may not be rectifiable.

Doing it your way may not actually work. The Church wasn’t formed the day before yesterday; it has a 2000 year history. It has a rich legacy of spiritual guidance.

I have friends who married outside the Church to people with a different (or no or little) religion, or with previous marriages (and in some cases, with previous children) … all the strenuous efforts to go back later and fix the situation, were unable to fix the situation. Had they stayed within the Church, a tremendous amount of unhappiness might have been avoided.

But even more than that … the Catholic Church is not a social club. Its only purpose is to help people get to Heaven after they die.

We are all going to die, sooner or later. Turning your back on the Catholic Church means a loss of the spiritual gifts of the Church.

The spriritual issues override everything else.

 

[anamchara]

I am a Catholic, I just do not see the over all reason for being married within The Church by a priest.

Other’s have posted the reasons for getting married in the Catholic Church so I won’t go off on a list. I am more about finding what’s in a persons heart. I don’t mean to exclude Church teaching on this all, but to just take a step back here. I wouldn’t get my answers from an online community no offense to the good people who have posted in here. But it really sounds like you need to take this question to a priest. Perhaps he could explain in a more intimate setting this beautiful sacrament and why it is so important for you and your future husband. If anything this would give your mother some peace of mind that you are not disregarding her request.

I don’t know your situation so it’s hard to give advice. If your not a Catholic in your heart to the fullest and do not have a strong belief in God then it might not make sense to you to marry in the Church. I can understand this. It’s hard for some to see why it’s important if their hearts and minds are just not there.

Keep in mind if you don’t marry in the Church you won’t be able to receive communion which can later be a problem if you decide to come back to our Catholic faith. But please don’t let anyone tell you that you are not welcomed with opened arms. Anyone who comes back to the faith after a long absence and made a few mistakes along the path are always warmly welcomed back. This is why we have sacrament of reconciliation. Your Catholic faith will always be there for you when you are ready.

I hope you consider marriage in the Church

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

But please don’t let anyone tell you that you are not welcomed with opened arms. Anyone who comes back to the faith after a long absence and made a few mistakes along the path are always warmly welcomed back. This is why we have sacrament of reconciliation. Your Catholic faith will always be there for you when you are ready.

That might be true. But that is not what I meant.

If this young man gets on a plane with his fiancee, heads to Vegas and attempts marriage there, then comes back nonchalant and expects the priest to immediately “bless” the marriage, he has another thing coming. The priest will still expect them to live as brother and sister until the marriage is convalidated, and they will still be expected to complete marriage prep- which will take a couple of months at the minimum. This is in addition to the necessity of reconciliation.

 

[anamchara]

That might be true. But that is not what I meant.

If this young man gets on a plane with his fiancee, heads to Vegas and attempts marriage there, then comes back nonchalant and expects the priest to immediately “bless” the marriage, he has another thing coming. The priest will still expect them to live as brother and sister until the marriage is convalidated, and they will still be expected to complete marriage prep- which will take a couple of months at the minimum. This is in addition to the necessity of reconciliation.

I didn’t see where he/she ever said what he/she expected when he/she gets back from Vegas. Your “he has another thing coming” was a big harsh in my opinion especially since he/she never said anything about what their plans where after Vegas. And if you read my post I made it clear about what happens when you marry outside the Church. And several other posters have made that crystal clear. I understand your concern but as I said, I don’t know what is in this persons heart in terms of their faith or their future plans on how they are going to deal with this struggle.

I get the impression the OP just really doesn’t see the need to get married in the Church and wants to understand the reasons why they should. They are not looking for loop holes and expecting anything that I can see. I really feel we need to assume good will here.