Why still attend church when this is the result?

[Trad_Julia]

Hi all. I’ve had this problem in Episcopal services too, but very often, I have supreme difficulty making connections between Sunday’s readings, and the unrelated strings of thought in their attendant homilies or sermons. I find that unless I have something else to do, (singing in the choir, for instance), also, my concentration is used up by the time the homily begins, and the rest of the service or Mass is just beyond dull. This is only prevented when the voice of the priest is pleasant, his enunciation is clear, he speaks with conviction and is otherwise engaging. I want Mass to be a place of contemplation and prayer, but all I’m feeling is boredom. I end up thinking, “Why have I just wasted the last hour on this?” I’m not even sure I want to keep attending church anymore if I get so little from everything, not just the homily/sermon, but the lack of communion, the wrote prayers and hymns week in and week out, the sense that I don’t really know anyone beyond a passing first name, the nagging suspicion that they’re only nice to me because kindness to the weak is encouraged as a work of mercy, etc?"
I’m just very, very discouraged right now, and the inability to understand the point of most homilies is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

If you keep in mind that the reason we attend Mass is to give God the worship that we owe Him because He is God and our Creator, it will help you keep things in perspective.

Mass is not about being entertained.

It doesn’t matter what we “get out of it”; what matters is what we put into it (although many people find that, when they put more into it, they get more out of it).

It is nice when the homily flows from the readings and inspires you, but this is incidental to the fact that, when you are at Mass, you are mystically present at Jesus’ act of salvation. You are truly at the Last Supper! You are truly at Calvary!

What you “get out of it” has nothing to do with feelings. Our worship pleases God greatly when we remain faithful even though we feel nothing. Participating fully in Mass even though we get no emotional “high” from it demonstrates to God that we love Him for Himself, for who He is, not because it feels good. In fact, you may receive more graces from Mass when it is difficult to be there than you would if it were easy and pleasant, as long as you remain in faith and love.

I’m sorry you have not felt connected to the congregation. Again, it would be nice if this were to happen, but people tend to be caught up in their own worlds and their own families. This is not ideal. Perhaps you can work on it by extending yourself to someone else. Is there someone else at Mass who looks lonely? Approach them after Mass and say hello. It’s not easy, but perhaps someone else is feeling disconnected as you are, and your gesture of kindness could make all the difference to them.

Also, try to find a way to get involved in volunteering in some way at your parish. Ask your pastor where your time and talents could be put to use.

 

[newguy40]

Hi all. I’ve had this problem in Episcopal services too, but very often, I have supreme difficulty making connections between Sunday’s readings, and the unrelated strings of thought in their attendant homilies or sermons. I find that unless I have something else to do, (singing in the choir, for instance), also, my concentration is used up by the time the homily begins, and the rest of the service or Mass is just beyond dull. This is only prevented when the voice of the priest is pleasant, his enunciation is clear, he speaks with conviction and is otherwise engaging. I want Mass to be a place of contemplation and prayer, but all I’m feeling is boredom. I end up thinking, “Why have I just wasted the last hour on this?” I’m not even sure I want to keep attending church anymore if I get so little from everything, not just the homily/sermon, but the lack of communion, the wrote prayers and hymns week in and week out, the sense that I don’t really know anyone beyond a passing first name, the nagging suspicion that they’re only nice to me because kindness to the weak is encouraged as a work of mercy, etc?"
I’m just very, very discouraged right now, and the inability to understand the point of most homilies is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

My intial thoughts on this were pretty harsh…

As relatively recent revert, I would like to say how vital a blessing receiving the communion is for me. Perhaps, focusing on this wonderful gift will help you with your ennui?

Frankly, the two priests who most often say mass at my parish are not the best homilists either and don’t always seem to make an attempt to tie the sermon to the readings. eh
I still love my parish.

Perhaps some personal prayer understanding where you lack of patience is rooted would help.

Also, I have taken to downloading the EWTN podcasts of the daily homily. If you want to hear homilies very well grounded in the daily readings and gospel, give that a try!

 

[CHRISTINE77]

My intial thoughts on this were pretty harsh…

As relatively recent revert, I would like to say how vital a blessing receiving the communion is for me. Perhaps, focusing on this wonderful gift will help you with your ennui?

Frankly, the two priests who most often say mass at my parish are not the best homilists either and don’t always seem to make an attempt to tie the sermon to the readings. eh
I still love my parish.

Perhaps some personal prayer understanding where you lack of patience is rooted would help.

Also, I have taken to downloading the EWTN podcasts of the daily homily. If you want to hear homilies very well grounded in the daily readings and gospel, give that a try!

I find it extremely odd that the Priest wouldn’t tie the homily to the readings. My preist always does. But the homily has never been the most important part of the Catholic church - it’s the Mass that makes it so different than other Christians. Even though the Mass is the same every Sunday, I never get bored with it - it’s so beautiful and meaningful and the repetition is like a meditation.

 

[OhMalley]

Hi all. I’ve had this problem in Episcopal services too, but very often, I have supreme difficulty making connections between Sunday’s readings, and the unrelated strings of thought in their attendant homilies or sermons. I find that unless I have something else to do, (singing in the choir, for instance), also, my concentration is used up by the time the homily begins, and the rest of the service or Mass is just beyond dull. This is only prevented when the voice of the priest is pleasant, his enunciation is clear, he speaks with conviction and is otherwise engaging. I want Mass to be a place of contemplation and prayer, but all I’m feeling is boredom. I end up thinking, “Why have I just wasted the last hour on this?” I’m not even sure I want to keep attending church anymore if I get so little from everything, not just the homily/sermon, but the lack of communion, the wrote prayers and hymns week in and week out, the sense that I don’t really know anyone beyond a passing first name, the nagging suspicion that they’re only nice to me because kindness to the weak is encouraged as a work of mercy, etc?"
I’m just very, very discouraged right now, and the inability to understand the point of most homilies is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

I think that’s only possible when two conditions exist.

First when you lose sight of (or don’t know to begin with) what the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is all about. While worshipping God is most certainly high on the list for the reasons we attend Mass it’s not #1 – nor is to receive communion. The #1 reason we attend the Mass is to avail ourselves of all the salvific grace (including Holy Communion) flowing from the sacrifice of Jesus Christ to His Father for our sins – past, present and future.

Second, it takes time to develop the ability to remain seriously focused for the entire length of the Mass. It’s not only difficult, it’s tiring. If you get to the point where the Mass feels like it’s 5 minutes long yet you’re spritually exhausted at the end of it you’re there.

While it rarely happens anymore at Mass if my mind should wander I immediately re-focus on the altar of sacrifice and then back to whatever is taking place at that point in the Mass.

 

[pickguard1]

If you keep in mind that the reason we attend Mass is to give God the worship that we owe Him because He is God and our Creator, it will help you keep things in perspective.

Mass is not about being entertained.

It doesn’t matter what we “get out of it”; what matters is what we put into it (although many people find that, when they put more into it, they get more out of it).

It is nice when the homily flows from the readings and inspires you, but this is incidental to the fact that, when you are at Mass, you are mystically present at Jesus’ act of salvation. You are truly at the Last Supper! You are truly at Calvary!

What you “get out of it” has nothing to do with feelings. Our worship pleases God greatly when we remain faithful even though we feel nothing. Participating fully in Mass even though we get no emotional “high” from it demonstrates to God that we love Him for Himself, for who He is, not because it feels good. In fact, you may receive more graces from Mass when it is difficult to be there than you would if it were easy and pleasant, as long as you remain in faith and love.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Julia, pick up a copy of I’m not being fed! by Jeff Cavins. (There are ads for it in the sidebars here.) It is a wonderful book about exactly what you discuss–a convert’s problems with focusing during Mass and understanding the differences between the services they are used to (sermon focused) and the Mass. I highly recommend it!

 

[Trad_Julia]

To answer and clarify a few points:

1. most important of all. I am totally blind. I cannot see the altar, I cannot look around, (without asking for a sceen of ushers noisily walking up and down isles etc), for another who is lonely, though I would love to do that. It is also fairly impossible to do, as the majority of people have left the church by the time the priest says, “go in peace.”
2. I am still discerning whether I even want to convert to this faith, and have never attended RCIA classes, so truly don’t know what a communicant should bring to the Mass, other than a willingness to understand the words spoken and sung.
3. Theological concepts make little sense to me if I am generally discouraged, as now. They only serve to confuse and/or dishearten me further. Trying to understand them is like trying to scale an opaque, wooden wall.

Adendum: Oooo! Sally, Thank you! I’ll Google it right now and see what I can find. grin

 

[newguy40]

I find it extremely odd that the Priest wouldn’t tie the homily to the readings. My preist always does. But the homily has never been the most important part of the Catholic church - it’s the Mass that makes it so different than other Christians. Even though the Mass is the same every Sunday, I never get bored with it - it’s so beautiful and meaningful and the repetition is like a meditation.

Christine-

Last Sunday’s homily that the Fr gave started out with an anecdote about how he and his friends tried to find the shortest mass in NJ where he grew up. He took that and discussed why people come to mass and for what reasons.

I just could not find much tie there to the readings.

BTW, this Fr is a very kind and gentle man and I would not “trade” him for a better orator.

 

[jmcrae]

To answer and clarify a few points:

1. most important of all. I am totally blind. I cannot see the altar, I cannot look around, (without asking for a sceen of ushers noisily walking up and down isles etc), for another who is lonely, though I would love to do that. It is also fairly impossible to do, as the majority of people have left the church by the time the priest says, “go in peace.”

Take advantage of those who stop to speak with you to try to get to know them a bit better. In a weird kind of sense, you seem “cool” to a lot of people (I suppose because of the many very talented blind singers that we hear of in the media) - don’t be irritated by that. Take it as a gift, and build on it.

1. I am still discerning whether I even want to convert to this faith, and have never attended RCIA classes, so truly don’t know what a communicant should bring to the Mass, other than a willingness to understand the words spoken and sung.

A good and holy priest once said in my hearing, “95% of the Catholic faith is simply, to show up. God takes care of the other 5%.”

1. Theological concepts make little sense to me if I am generally discouraged, as now. They only serve to confuse and/or dishearten me further. Trying to understand them is like trying to scale an opaque, wooden wall.

Then don’t try. Just let the noise wash over you, and if something sticks, let it stick, but don’t worry about it. There’s no test at the end.

 

[CHRISTINE77]

Christine-

Last Sunday’s homily that the Fr gave started out with an anecdote about how he and his friends tried to find the shortest mass in NJ where he grew up. He took that and discussed why people come to mass and for what reasons.

I just could not find much tie there to the readings.

BTW, this Fr is a very kind and gentle man and I would not “trade” him for a better orator.

Last Sunday the readings included 2 Kings 4:42-4:44 about Elisha and the barley loaves, which the Lord said would feed 100 people with some left over, and John 6:1-15 about Jesus feeding the crowd with the loaves and fishes. Phillip didn’t believe it could be done, but Andrew started out with the five barley loaves and 2 fishes believing that Jesus could feed all the crowd. Of course, we know there was some left over.

The Homily was about faith, you can either believe in the miracles that Jesus can perform in your life, or not believe in them. It’s up to you.

 

[GodIsGracious]

I can understand the boredom. Been there done that. I know that I was bored before I left the church because I didn’t understand what the Mass was all about, it’s significance, the whys and wherefors… etc. I was never taught that.

Perhaps maybe you need an understanding of the Mass and what it means? And why we’re there?

I found this link:

americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0889.asp

It explains the Mass.

Also, do you believe in the real presence in the Holy Eucharist? I think this may be (it may not be, I don’t know) a stopping point. I know that I don’t just believe in, but I know it is the Real Presence and so I am anxious for communion.

I know there is a book ut, “Mass Confusion” that talks aboout the Mass. I have not read it so I don’t know, but I’ve seen it on the side bars here on CAF. I’m thinking of getting it myself.

Let us know how you’re doing.

 

[Fensterblau]

To answer and clarify a few points:

1. I am still discerning whether I even want to convert to this faith, and have never attended RCIA classes, so truly don’t know what a communicant should bring to the Mass, other than a willingness to understand the words spoken and sung.

Julia, you mentioned in your original post that one of the problems you were encountering was that you don’t really know anyone beyond a passing first name…

Perhaps RCIA classes would be exactly what the doctor ordered for you? Even if you choose not to convert, you will certainly get to know many people through the classes. There’s no law against pulling out if you find that you don’t agree with what is being taught in RCIA or have a change of heart.

Whatever you decide, I hope and pray that you are able to begin getting what you need form the Mass as well as meet people in your parish family.

 

[Bluegoat]

I think that being blind could account for some of the mind-wandering during the Mass. Many parts of it are strongly visual, and so missing out on that could make it difficult to follow in places, and it is always hard to focus when you are having trouble linking the parts together.

In the Anglican diocese I am part of, there is a ministry to the deaf. It supplies people to sign the mass at a few churches, or sometimes to an individual in a church. I wonder if there might be a similar ministry for the blind where you are? Honestly I am not sure what such a thing might look like, but even thinking about that would perhaps be a useful exercise. Is there lots of good music at your church? A sung Mass might be much easier for you to relate to if you can find one.

 

[piejesu]

I spent over 15 years as a pseudo-agnostic attending Mass with my wife out of a sense of support and loyalty to her faith. I rarely if ever “got” anything out of it (of course I was always within hearing of the Word) and spent most of my time looking around and occupying my mind with whatever. The Eucharistic prayer seem long and tiresome.

Around Christmas time 2003 a crisis event brought me to re-conversion, a renewed faith in Christ, and after a year of discernment I began RCIA. The Holy Spirit rendered my heart fertile, EWTN and Ave Maria Radio in my area enlightened me concerning the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. Suddenly I experience the most consumer hunger for what I had been oblivious to for so many years before…Christ in the Eucharist.

I entered into RCIA the fall of 2005, and while the program was light on the catechism, doctrine, the precepts of the Church etc., it was strong on community and the everyday practice of the faith. I made several good friends almost instantly through that experience. Personal study, books like “Four Witnesses”, “The Lamb’ Supper”, the Catechism helped me to understand the great mystery of the Mass and what it was that was behind my hunger for the Eucharist.

Now at Mass, I rarely open my eyes, except when I am serving in some capacity. While I love the liturgy, movement, dynamics of that Opus Dei, I seek a more perfect union with the one who embodies the Beatific Vision most gloriously each and every time the Mass is celebrated, and for a short time, Heaven not only comes down to earth, but more wondrously, we who worship the Triune God in Spirit and in Truth, are caught up to Heaven to rejoice with all the heavenly hosts.

No…the Mass is not about us, not about community, not about anything we can see, hear, touch, feel, or sense, naturally, or even spiritually. The Mass is about worship of the Lamb who was slain from the foundations of the earth, about the Father Almighty, His beloved Son, and the Holy Spirit who proceeds in love before them, bringing about a new creation wherever hearts and minds are humbled and quieted to receive grace, the salvation of our souls.

 

[pickguard1]

I have a question for you. Being blind (I don’t know how long you have been blind, and I don’t know how long you have been attending Mass) have you ever had someone explain to you what is going on during the Mass? (The actions of the priest, the layout of the Church, the placement of the sacred vessels, etc.?) If not, perhaps you could speak with the priest after mass and ask if he would privately go through the entire service with you, explaining the various parts, much as he probably does when training altar boys. Perhaps having a sense of the actions you cannot see would help you focus, or at least give you something to focus on if you are unaware of what actions are taking place and when.

Most of all, though I think its important to remember that you are in the presence of Christ, not in a “Christ is everywhere” sense (which He most certainly is), but I’m talking about the “Christ is right HERE, physically in front of me” sense. That usually helps me focus. Not being blind, I still find that I get distracted and my mind wanders too because of the things I CAN see - I sometimes find myself closing my eyes to shut out some of the stimuli that try and draw me away from what is going on.

As another poster said - I agree that 95% is just showing up, leave the rest in God’s hands.

Blessings,
Will

 

[CHRISTINE77]

I have a question for you. Being blind (I don’t know how long you have been blind, and I don’t know how long you have been attending Mass) have you ever had someone explain to you what is going on during the Mass? (The actions of the priest, the layout of the Church, the placement of the sacred vessels, etc.?) If not, perhaps you could speak with the priest after mass and ask if he would privately go through the entire service with you, explaining the various parts, much as he probably does when training altar boys. Perhaps having a sense of the actions you cannot see would help you focus, or at least give you something to focus on if you are unaware of what actions are taking place and when.

Most of all, though I think its important to remember that you are in the presence of Christ, not in a “Christ is everywhere” sense (which He most certainly is), but I’m talking about the “Christ is right HERE, physically in front of me” sense. That usually helps me focus. Not being blind, I still find that I get distracted and my mind wanders too because of the things I CAN see - I sometimes find myself closing my eyes to shut out some of the stimuli that try and draw me away from what is going on.

As another poster said - I agree that 95% is just showing up, leave the rest in God’s hands.

Blessings,
Will

I agree with you. The presence of Christ is the whole thing. Also, I spend a lot of time with my eyes closed, whether I am singing or listening. It helps me to concentrate on the the meaning of the words without distractions. Even though the church is beautiful, I find it easier to focus without looking at anything.

 

[dashso40]

Hello, I am a convert and I used to be bored at Mass until I read more about it and realized what every part of Mass means, and I pray more now than ever…I can’t wait to go to Mass now and pray to Jesus…I think through prayer and more understanding, you will enjoy Mass too…now I would go everyday if I didn’t have 2 year old to contend with HAHA…but when she goes to preschool, I’ll be going everyday…

 

[estesbob]

Hi all. I’ve had this problem in Episcopal services too, but very often, I have supreme difficulty making connections between Sunday’s readings, and the unrelated strings of thought in their attendant homilies or sermons. I find that unless I have something else to do, (singing in the choir, for instance), also, my concentration is used up by the time the homily begins, and the rest of the service or Mass is just beyond dull. This is only prevented when the voice of the priest is pleasant, his enunciation is clear, he speaks with conviction and is otherwise engaging. I want Mass to be a place of contemplation and prayer, but all I’m feeling is boredom. I end up thinking, “Why have I just wasted the last hour on this?” I’m not even sure I want to keep attending church anymore if I get so little from everything, not just the homily/sermon, but the lack of communion, the wrote prayers and hymns week in and week out, the sense that I don’t really know anyone beyond a passing first name, the nagging suspicion that they’re only nice to me because kindness to the weak is encouraged as a work of mercy, etc?"
I’m just very, very discouraged right now, and the inability to understand the point of most homilies is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

If you are at a Catholic service regardless of how boring or aggravating the sermon is withing a few minutes after its end you will be holding the Savior of the World in your hands and consuming his Body. I would sit through a heavy metal concert if that was what it took to receive our Lord.

 

[Convert66]

Have you considered that it isn’t the incongruity of the homilies, nor the lack of connection past first names, per se, that is the problem. Think about it: you have written that you are bored by the last half or so of the Mass and end up thinking to yourself “why have I just wasted an hour on this?” It may be what you are seeking from the Mass in the first place. It sounds as if you are not much different than a majority of the Western population. You are uncomfortable without external stimulation. You admit as much when you say how you want to spend the time in contemplation and reflection but are exhausted by the effort within 30 minutes time. 30 minutes! You put this off to external factors (the homilies; the anonymous relationships) but maybe the real problem is that you’ve trained yourself to think of a real inner life as being a life filled up from external sources, which, ironically, is not an inner life but a reflection on externals.

At root, I suspect a fear of intimacy. Not intimacy with others, because that is the placebo preventing you from being comfortable in your own skin and with your own thoughts, and thus, why you blame externals for an inability to focus for an hours time without proper external influences. You fear intimacy with yourself and may not trust that God is waiting for you to shut off your distractions in order to commune with you in the silence.

I only say this because I have gone through this wrestling match myself. “I don’t feel like it” is only natural. But if you wish to grow it will not be comfortable nor even enjoyable. If you wish to make, say, the Olympic weight-lifting team you must face the resistance and forge ahead with what strength you have currently. Only with discipline over time will your strength actually increase. In this instance, your capacity for quiet and internal contemplation will overcome the need for external stimulation. It will become a habit, and Mass will fly by and you will soon find yourself wondering where the hour went to so quickly.

For what it’s worth . . .