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Joe_5859
Guest
Just a point of clarification, the only sacraments that leave an indellible mark on the soul are Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Orders. Eucharist, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick, and Marriage do not.
Why the double standard? Marriage and all the other sacraments - validity seems to be a double standard
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CB_Catholic
Guest
I really think, from observing the many posts critical of priests, bishops, and questioning the validity of the sacraments they receive, that most of these come from young, unmarried, and often newly-converted Catholics. Some of the posters in these forums actually do promote an atmosphere of mistrust in our clergy to do the right thing. And people are always being advised to find another parish, report things to the Bishop, write to Rome, etc., when in reality all we have is the word of the poster reporting something that may or may not be as they perceive. This does nothing to give some people confidence in their leaders.
The Sacrament of Marriage, however is usually entered into with the confidence that everything is a-ok, validity usually isn’t even an issue when one gets married, and the priest or deacon does not confect the Sacrament–they are witnesses for the Church. There is no way usually that a couple in love is going to think about the possibility they are entering into an invalid marriage. They may not be clued-in to some of the signs, such as a drug or alcohol addiction that MAY affect consent, or ignore signs of potential unfaithfulness, thinking things will change once they get married, or signs of mental illness that may affect consent. They may have even been warned by someone or by clergy that there may be a problem, but deny it or choose to ignore it. So often validity doesn’t even enter the picture until the marriage falls apart and a declaration of nullity is sought.
That’s why I think there is such a discrepancy.
The Sacrament of Marriage, however is usually entered into with the confidence that everything is a-ok, validity usually isn’t even an issue when one gets married, and the priest or deacon does not confect the Sacrament–they are witnesses for the Church. There is no way usually that a couple in love is going to think about the possibility they are entering into an invalid marriage. They may not be clued-in to some of the signs, such as a drug or alcohol addiction that MAY affect consent, or ignore signs of potential unfaithfulness, thinking things will change once they get married, or signs of mental illness that may affect consent. They may have even been warned by someone or by clergy that there may be a problem, but deny it or choose to ignore it. So often validity doesn’t even enter the picture until the marriage falls apart and a declaration of nullity is sought.
That’s why I think there is such a discrepancy.
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ByzCathCantor
Guest
Marriage is unlike any other sacrament. Two humans are involved - bride and groom. The union is freely sought by these people and witnessed by the Church. What is truly important is the true intent of these individuals and their understanding of and commitment to the nature and sanctity of the bond they have undertaken.
Success in marriage is not determined by the validity (or lack thereof) of the ceremony in which it was witnessed. IMO we would be better off discussing whether or not we are (i) properly preparing couples for marriage; (ii) encouraging and supporting, as a Catholic family and in our societies, couples in their vocation; (iii) promoting values and norms that are supportive of family life and values; etc.
Even between two committed, mature adults, marriage in today’s day and age is not easy. I was married in my wife’s Methodist church, with dispensation. We committed to living a life in Christ and raising our children in the Catholic faith. I trust that the Church did what was necessary to recognize my marriage as valid. I focus on remaining faithful to my vows to wife and Church, and to raising my children as good, God-loving Christians. Surely I will be judged for my success or failure in these matters, and not penalized for any error that may have been made as my wife and I sought the blessing of the Church over our sacred union.
Success in marriage is not determined by the validity (or lack thereof) of the ceremony in which it was witnessed. IMO we would be better off discussing whether or not we are (i) properly preparing couples for marriage; (ii) encouraging and supporting, as a Catholic family and in our societies, couples in their vocation; (iii) promoting values and norms that are supportive of family life and values; etc.
Even between two committed, mature adults, marriage in today’s day and age is not easy. I was married in my wife’s Methodist church, with dispensation. We committed to living a life in Christ and raising our children in the Catholic faith. I trust that the Church did what was necessary to recognize my marriage as valid. I focus on remaining faithful to my vows to wife and Church, and to raising my children as good, God-loving Christians. Surely I will be judged for my success or failure in these matters, and not penalized for any error that may have been made as my wife and I sought the blessing of the Church over our sacred union.
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felsguy
Guest
QUOTE=dixieagle;8924604]I think that it all boils down to something simple: many Catholic just aren’t well catechized as to what a valid marriage entails, and also don’t understand what a decree of nullity is.
I suspect also that just about everyone has ups and downs in their own marriages, and that some folks are a bit envious when they hear of other Catholics leaving a problem “marriage” behind.
My thoughts, exactly
I suspect also that just about everyone has ups and downs in their own marriages, and that some folks are a bit envious when they hear of other Catholics leaving a problem “marriage” behind.
My thoughts, exactly- Status