Why This Lonliness?

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 Hello all.   I have just been wondering, I have been praying lots etc.  but why do I feel so alone sometimes???  It is a lonliness that is almost painful, and I cannot explain it.  I pray my daily Rosary etc, but still.  It's a sort of INNER lonliness, and I have had it for years.   It brings me to sadness at times, and when alone, the feeling of wanting to weep, but at times I don't.
Any advice?? Has anyone here ever felt the same?  Or experienced the same thing????  Please tell me, am I the only one??
 
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misericordie:
Hello all. I have just been wondering, I have been praying lots etc. but why do I feel so alone sometimes??? It is a lonliness that is almost painful, and I cannot explain it. I pray my daily Rosary etc, but still. It’s a sort of INNER lonliness, and I have had it for years. It brings me to sadness at times, and when alone, the feeling of wanting to weep, but at times I don’t.
Any advice?? Has anyone here ever felt the same? Or experienced the same thing??? Please tell me, am I the only one??
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Any advice here?
 
No, no advice here. But you are not alone.

I guess I’m not sure what kind of lonliness you mean. For me, it’s like there really isn’t anyone who thinks like I do. I’m too “edgy” for Christian types and too “religious” for the rest. It’s hard for me to share things of a spiritual nature because either people don’t get it or don’t want to hear it.

Is that what you are talking about?
 
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misericordie:
Hello all. I have just been wondering, I have been praying lots etc. but why do I feel so alone sometimes??? It is a lonliness that is almost painful, and I cannot explain it. I pray my daily Rosary etc, but still. It’s a sort of INNER lonliness, and I have had it for years. It brings me to sadness at times, and when alone, the feeling of wanting to weep, but at times I don’t.
Any advice?? Has anyone here ever felt the same? Or experienced the same thing??? Please tell me, am I the only one??
Click to expand...
I am not a psychologist, but those symptoms can mean depression. Especially the feelings of sadness. Folks have periods of “Dark night of the soul,” but you say you have had this for years. It is associated with stressful situations?

God bless
 
I think so many things about your situation. I do think it would be worth mentioning this to a doctor. You might benefit from antidepressants.

Praying is good for the soul and can help many things and moods. However, if you are suffering and it has been long term, then you may need more. It is a very common thing you are describing, and I hate to see you suffer so. Think about getting some help for it. I will continue to pray for you.

You really are not alone. Many have shared these feelings. Do something this very week to remedy this. Make a doctors appointment. Once you are feeling better get involved in something that really makes you feel fulfilled. Some people join some volunteer group or local community group. Also, plan something that you look forward to. For me it is gardening, or planning a trip.
 
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Fitz:
I think so many things about your situation. I do think it would be worth mentioning this to a doctor. You might benefit from antidepressants.

Praying is good for the soul and can help many things and moods. However, if you are suffering and it has been long term, then you may need more. It is a very common thing you are describing, and I hate to see you suffer so. Think about getting some help for it. I will continue to pray for you.

You really are not alone. Many have shared these feelings. Do something this very week to remedy this. Make a doctors appointment. Once you are feeling better get involved in something that really makes you feel fulfilled. Some people join some volunteer group or local community group. Also, plan something that you look forward to. For me it is gardening, or planning a trip.
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This is great advice!
 
Dear Bruised Reed,

I smiled when I read:

I’m too “edgy” for Christian types and too “religious” for the rest.
quote, Bruised Reed

Oh, yes. I sure understand what you’re saying.
Thanks for articulating a feeling I’ve had for years.

Best,
reen

“Inadequate, and loving it.”:o
 
I do think maybe seing a doctor and telling him this would help. I am praying too.
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 Thanks all for your great advice here.:)
Has anyone else ever felt this??
 
Dear friend

Everyone is lonely inside themselves, whether they have friends, family or believe in Jesus. It is the human state to feel alone, feel lonely.

I have just started reading a book called ‘Walking with Loneliness’ by Sister Paula Ripple, FSPA. It is a beautiful book what I have read so far, she describes loneliness as a ‘Constant Companion’ that people waste futile energy running from and sometimes in the running from loneliness are led into sin, but nonetheless loneliness is a frightening and painful ‘friend’…here is a small excerpt

‘There may be no human companion more challenging, no human experience more filled with the possibility of greater life than loneliness. In the deeper sense, there is a dimension of mystery to loneliness if we understand mystery to mean something that we can never fully comprehend. And each time we seek to comprehend, we do so at ever increasing depths of meaning. If we assume a stance toward loneliness that either denies or ignores its ability to lead us to fuller life, then we will also make it one of our life goals to escape its presence. We will invest energy in a non-productive process rather than using it in creative action.’

This book was printed by Ave Maria Press in 1982. I don’t know if it is still in print.

How many times must our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary have felt alone and lonely, alone in her ‘fiat’? How many of the Saints felt greatly misunderstood and alone? All of them, all of them touched by loneliness.

I don’t know anyone more lonely than Christ Jesus, during His life on earth He was the most misunderstood, rejected and shunned. Imagine how lonely our Lord must have felt. Imagine His loneliness in the Garden of Gethsemane. Christ Jesus did not turn from His loneliness which marks human nature but entered fully into it and embraced it. I believe by entering into loneliness and embracing it as He did; we will always be led to our Lord, Jesus Christ and rightfully loneliness is part of our path of faith in Him. Loneliness without faith is a negative experience, but nonetheless an experience all humans face, but loneliness embraced in Christ Jesus is a growth and nourishment in faith; there in the midst of loneliness is Christ Jesus and there in Him is peace.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
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misericordie:
Hello all. I have just been wondering, I have been praying lots etc. but why do I feel so alone sometimes??? It is a lonliness that is almost painful, and I cannot explain it. I pray my daily Rosary etc, but still. It’s a sort of INNER lonliness, and I have had it for years. It brings me to sadness at times, and when alone, the feeling of wanting to weep, but at times I don’t.
Any advice?? Has anyone here ever felt the same? Or experienced the same thing??? Please tell me, am I the only one??
Click to expand...
I feel lonely because I tend to isolate myself. Going to mass (or other church activities) or to work tends to be the most human interaction I have during the day. I do interact with people when going to the store and things like that, but do not have any close friends and the few living family members left are either out of town or we only get together on holidays or birthdays if then.

I wish I had some advice for you, but I am going to watch this thread myself for advice.
 
getting help by the use of drugs to me is not the answer. if your depressed you need to take control of your thinking. what are you thinking in your mind thats making you depressed. you need to change how you view things, because what a man thinketh in his heart so he becomes. and in the tongue is the power of death and life. take control of your life .

if your depressed maybe you need to get a job?? maybe you need to start working out . maybe you need to get off this computer, you have almost 2,000 posts , and go out and meet people.

i dont buy into go get some help with some pills, you can take control of your mental state by controling your thoughts and moving your body. stop eating junk food too, and eat gods food, fruits and veggies, he made them for a reason you know.
 
Deacon Tony560:
I am not a psychologist, but those symptoms can mean depression. Especially the feelings of sadness. Folks have periods of “Dark night of the soul,” but you say you have had this for years. It is associated with stressful situations?

God bless
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misericordie, I didn’t want to bring up depression for some reason even though I’m being treated for it. Therapy every 3 or so weeks and anti-depressant. I finally decided to fill the prescription when I reached a point that I was in agony. It wasn’t my body that was in pain but my psyche.

I guess when you described a lonliness that is almost painful it hit a nerve. Loniliness can contribute to depression but it can also be a byproduct due to isolation that ThornGenX mentioned.

Have you done a depression inventory? That can be helpful and can be a starting point when you speak to a professional.
 
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OFTHEANGELS:
getting help by the use of drugs to me is not the answer. if your depressed you need to take control of your thinking. what are you thinking in your mind thats making you depressed. you need to change how you view things, because what a man thinketh in his heart so he becomes. and in the tongue is the power of death and life. take control of your life .

if your depressed maybe you need to get a job?? maybe you need to start working out . maybe you need to get off this computer, you have almost 2,000 posts , and go out and meet people.

i dont buy into go get some help with some pills, you can take control of your mental state by controling your thoughts and moving your body. stop eating junk food too, and eat gods food, fruits and veggies, he made them for a reason you know.
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I absolutely disagree. If in fact misericordie does have clinical depression, medicine may be able to help tremendously. I had PPD after both my boys were born but didn’t get medicine for it until after my second son was born. The medicine helped me so much just to be able to feel somewhat human again. I realize that PPD isn’t the exact same thing as clinical depression but the symptoms are the same. It’s so awful. 😦

Prayer, eating well, exercise are all great things, but when I am truly in a “funk” as I call it, it’s so hard to get out of it. You mention “taking control of your thinking”. It’s not always that simple, though. That’s one of the worst things for me - KNOWING I should be “happy” or “satisified” or “not lonely” or whatever, but FEELING just the opposite. And until I started taking medicine, I didn’t realize how bad things truly were after my first son was born. I still agonize over that to this day - that I wasn’t the mother he deserved. 😦

Maybe you are right and meds aren’t the answer here. But I think it’s definitely an option he should explore.

Misericordie, I will pray for you and hope you find the peace you seek.
 
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MaryB23:
Prayer, eating well, exercise are all great things, but when I am truly in a “funk” as I call it, it’s so hard to get out of it. You mention “taking control of your thinking”.
Misericordie, I will pray for you and hope you find the peace you seek.
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I have problems with loneliness on and off too. It has been particularly bad the last two days. I have been wondering if it is is somehow related to demonic opression. I realise that sometimes it is worst or strikes around 3PM, which is when I try to do a personal stations of the cross each day. I try to pray through it, but prayers do not always make it feel better. While I am inside a church things usually feel remarkably better. I hate leaving churches, but at the same time, transportation is problematic for me at the moment, and getting there is very difficutl to go any time I want to be there.

I generally get more than the average amount of exercise (run about six miles a day) and am careful about what I eat (mostly macrobiotic diet). But still these factors do not elmimate the feelings, which seem to have an ability to paralyze at times.
 
Hi, dear misericordie!

I totally understand these sorts of feelings of loneliness–I have had them since childhood. It wasn’t until eleven years ago that I learned I was clinically depressed, caused by years of trauma I experienced as a child. I was prescribed an antidepressant, and it has helped me immensely, although I still suffer less paralyzing depression and loneliness once in awhile. Exercise also helps a great deal, especially walking outdoors.

I agree with Fitz, that seeing a doctor might help you with some of your questions. Meanwhile, I will most certainly keep you in my prayers, mis. God bless,

Geraldine
 
I think this post shows a special loving Christian attitude among those who have taken time to share their own stories in an effort to help. May God bless you. I have known of cases where these symptoms were brought on by low-thyroid or other medical chemical imbalances. I know of two sisters that have low-thyroid. One takes her meds and can cope with life. The other refuses to believe she needs meds and has become paranoid.
 
Thank you all for your well intentioned advice.
Deacon, thank you too so much, yes, sad to say though that even some priests I have met (the fundamentalist ones) see it as a MORAL defect ot spiritual crisis ONLY!!! Do they believe the brain too has chemicals, or lack serotonin in some sases??
 
Mis,
I would suggest you read the first three chapters of our Holy Father John Paul II’s book ‘Memory and Identity’. It deals with this topic from an easy to understand philosophical manner.

I am reading it at the moment and it is excellent. Well worth stewing over.

(Of course I meant our ‘late’ Holy Father JPII :()
 
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misericordie:
Thank you all for your well intentioned advice.

Deacon, thank you too so much, yes, sad to say though that even some priests I have met (the fundamentalist ones) see it as a MORAL defect ot spiritual crisis ONLY!!! Do they believe the brain too has chemicals, or lack serotonin in some sases??
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I mean here when I have spoken IN GENERAL of cases as these regarding science etc
 
Bruised_Reed said:
No, no advice here. But you are not alone.

I guess I’m not sure what kind of lonliness you mean. For me, it’s like there really isn’t anyone who thinks like I do. I’m too “edgy” for Christian types and too “religious” for the rest. It’s hard for me to share things of a spiritual nature because either people don’t get it or don’t want to hear it.

Is that what you are talking about?
Click to expand...
i know what you mean. that’s what i’m feeling. as i became more devout, there’s just nobody around me that i can talk to about the faith, you know? except here at CAF.
 
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