Why wait to baptize my child?

[mgoforth]

Our fourth child (a girl) is due in mid December. The oldest was nearly 6 months old before she was baptized, and we’ve baptized sooner with each child - about 3 months with the second and 6 weeks with the third. It seems to be normal (at least with other families in my parish) to wait at least a month after birth to baptize a new baby. Is there any reason to wait so long?

With this child I just keep thinking how horrible it would be if anything happened and she died unbaptized. The only reason I can see that people postpone it is to give family and friends a chance to make plans, travel, buy presents, etc… Is any of that really worth the risk to her immortal soul? I’ve been thinking…why not just ask the priest or deacon to come to the hospital and baptize our daughter as soon as she’s born? Or why not baptize her ourselves immediately?

If we did this, could we still have a ceremony later for family and friends to attend?

 

[EasterJoy]

If I remember his brother’s memoirs correctly, our current Holy Father was born around 4 am and baptised around 8 am. Excepting that the parents and sponsors must be properly prepared, there is no reason to delay an infant’s baptism except to wait until Sunday, the normal day for baptisms, or perhaps to wait for Easter Vigil, if that is not too long. There is not to be an undue delay. It is not allowed to baptise outside a church or oratory except when there is a serious reason. Once a person is baptised, they are never re-baptised unless there is doubt about whether the baptism was validly performed, so no, the baptismal rite cannot be repeated later for show.

**Can. 856 **Although baptism can be celebrated on any day, it is nevertheless recommended that it be celebrated ordinarily on Sunday or, if possible, at the Easter Vigil.

**Can. 857 §1. **Apart from a case of necessity, the proper place of baptism is a church or oratory.

**§2. **As a rule an adult is to be baptized in his or her parish church and an infant in the parish church of the parents unless a just cause suggests otherwise.

**Can. 860 §1. **Apart from a case of necessity, baptism is not to be conferred in private houses, unless the local ordinary has permitted it for a grave cause.

**§2. **Except in a case of necessity or for some other compelling pastoral reason, baptism is not to be celebrated in hospitals unless the diocesan bishop has established otherwise.

**Can. 861 §1. **The ordinary minister of baptism is a bishop, a presbyter, or a deacon, without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 530, n. 1.

**§2. **When an ordinary minister is absent or impeded, a catechist or another person designated for this function by the local ordinary, or in a case of necessity any person with the right intention, confers baptism licitly. Pastors of souls, especially the pastor of a parish, are to be concerned that the Christian faithful are taught the correct way to baptize.

**Can. 862 **Except in a case of necessity, no one is permitted to confer baptism in the territory of another without the required permission, not even upon his own subjects.

**Can. 867 §1. **Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

**§2. **An infant in danger of death is to be baptized without delay.

 

[porthos11]

Our priest gently gave a couple a mouthful when they stated their plans to baptize a couple of months down the road for reasons similar to this (IIRC) and he put his foot down. They were getting their baby baptized that Sunday, no questions. He reminded everyone that due to a baby’s relative fragility, baptism should never be delayed. He said within three weeks of birth was the expected timetable.

Waiting for family and friends is not sufficient reason to delay baptism. It should be done right away and you can have a reception at a later date.

 

[paperwight66]

Our priest gently gave a couple a mouthful when they stated their plans to baptize a couple of months down the road for reasons similar to this (IIRC) and he put his foot down. They were getting their baby baptized that Sunday, no questions. He reminded everyone that due to a baby’s relative fragility, baptism should never be delayed. He said within three weeks of birth was the expected timetable.

Waiting for family and friends is not sufficient reason to delay baptism. It should be done right away and you can have a reception at a later date.

Hmmm… Isn’t there a Baptism prep class (or two) the parents have to attend first? Had they already done the classes before the birth?

 

[porthos11]

Hmmm… Isn’t there a Baptism prep class (or two) they have to attend first?

Yes, which I believe was already done with their first child. I would presume all prerequisites were fulfilled.

 

[Schieffelin]

Baptism prep classes are required in some dioceses, but you take them before the baby is born. So that shouldn’t delay things.

I think most people delay so they can get all the family and friends together. But I agree that the sooner the better.

 

[Joe_5859]

I think some people simply don’t start thinking of Baptism until after the baby is born. Then they start thinking of calling the priest and picking a date and choosing godparents and making plans.

There’s no reason not to make the plans ahead of time. We always schedule our Baptisms about 2-3 weeks after the birth, just in case the baby comes late or other complications arise to necessitate a longer recovery time in the hospital.

 

[jilly4ski]

I know we waited a month (4 weeks) for a few reasons. The number one being priests busy schedules, and to accommodate not knowing when the baby is going to be born (my last child was 5 days late, it wouldn’t have been any good to schedule the baptism 2 days after the due date and have to cancel because the baby didn’t show up). Also my parish was in the middle of a priest change, so it was difficult to schedule. Another thing that might play into consideration is a new regulation for the area I am in. The state apparently has said that baptismal records can function as state approved identification. So now the church will not baptize (or maybe just not fill out the baptismal certificate) without first having seen the birth certificate, luckily that only takes 2 weeks. (obviously a child in danger of death situation, would be different).

The other main one, was so I was recovered enough to attend and feel relatively decent. With my first 2 I had painful recoveries and had trouble sitting for many weeks. With this last one my bottom was great, but I was holed up with a serious infection for 10 days. I know it used to be a habit that mother’s did not attend their children’s baptism, but I would really prefer to attend my children’s baptism.

Now-a-days a priest can’t just jump at the the birth of your child and bring all the stuff for baptism. (It really should be done in Church anyways). For a complete baptismal ceremony, he would need the water and oils, his book, and the proper vestments. He might have meetings, or Mass, or some devotion that he is leading. He might have a funeral, or visiting the sick. Priests are very busy.

Also, no you should not baptize your child yourself, unless their is danger of death.

You don’t need to wait a month, why not try and see if you can schedule it for 2 weeks after. Maybe this priest is really open and flexible and can do the baptism on the Sunday after birth. You will have to talk to the parish/priest.

 

[revert_jen]

Another reason sometimes people wait is depending on the weather. At this time of year it would probably be OK, but I wasn’t baptized for nearly a month because I was born in winter and it was generally considered (at least at that time, mumblemumble years ago) unhealthy to expose a baby to the cold when it was really tiny.

I dunno if this is still general thinking or if it is outdated. But I do have friends whose babies never left their homes from when they came home from the hospital until three weeks later.

–Jen

 

[Joe_5859]

I know we waited a month (4 weeks) for a few reasons. The number one being priests busy schedules, and to accommodate not knowing when the baby is going to be born (my last child was 5 days late, it wouldn’t have been any good to schedule the baptism 2 days after the due date and have to cancel because the baby didn’t show up). Also my parish was in the middle of a priest change, so it was difficult to schedule. Another thing that might play into consideration is a new regulation for the area I am in. The state apparently has said that baptismal records can function as state approved identification. So now the church will not baptize (or maybe just not fill out the baptismal certificate) without first having seen the birth certificate, luckily that only takes 2 weeks. (obviously a child in danger of death situation, would be different).

The other main one, was so I was recovered enough to attend and feel relatively decent. With my first 2 I had painful recoveries and had trouble sitting for many weeks. With this last one my bottom was great, but I was holed up with a serious infection for 10 days. I know it used to be a habit that mother’s did not attend their children’s baptism, but I would really prefer to attend my children’s baptism.

Now-a-days a priest can’t just jump at the the birth of your child and bring all the stuff for baptism. (It really should be done in Church anyways). For a complete baptismal ceremony, he would need the water and oils, his book, and the proper vestments. He might have meetings, or Mass, or some devotion that he is leading. He might have a funeral, or visiting the sick. Priests are very busy.

Also, no you should not baptize your child yourself, unless their is danger of death.

You don’t need to wait a month, why not try and see if you can schedule it for 2 weeks after. Maybe this priest is really open and flexible and can do the baptism on the Sunday after birth. You will have to talk to the parish/priest.

Good points. I also know some parishes will only do Baptisms on specific dates and then all the kids get baptized together during one sunday Mass every couple months. I’m glad my parish doesn’t do that.

 

[EasterJoy]

Good points. I also know some parishes will only do Baptisms on specific dates and then all the kids get baptized together during one sunday Mass every couple months. I’m glad my parish doesn’t do that.

Unless you mean for any particular Mass time, one baptism every couple of months is not sufficient, since canon law states that “Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks” (Can. 867 §1).

If you mean that the at-Mass baptisms rotate through the various Mass times and that other times outside of Mass are also offered, that would be different. For instance, the parish we used to be in had two scheduled baptism times a month, once a month at a Sunday Mass and one two weeks later on Sunday afternoon. If that were rotated between the Vigil Mass and the two Sunday morning Mass, there would be a baptism at any particular Mass time every three months, even though baptism was being made available no less than twice a month.

(Of course, the other confounding factor is that the parish can’t have a baptism unless there are babies or young children to baptize. Adults and older children typically wait until Easter Vigil.)

 

[mgoforth]

Thank you to everyone, these are excellent answers!

 

[Joe_5859]

Unless you mean for any particular Mass time, one baptism every couple of months is not sufficient, since canon law states that “Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks” (Can. 867 §1).

If you mean that the at-Mass baptisms rotate through the various Mass times and that other times outside of Mass are also offered, that would be different. For instance, the parish we used to be in had two scheduled baptism times a month, once a month at a Sunday Mass and one two weeks later on Sunday afternoon. If that were rotated between the Vigil Mass and the two Sunday morning Mass, there would be a baptism at any particular Mass time every three months, even though baptism was being made available no less than twice a month.

(Of course, the other confounding factor is that the parish can’t have a baptism unless there are babies or young children to baptize. Adults and older children typically wait until Easter Vigil.)

Hopefully I misremembering what this person said about their parish only baptizing babies once every two months. I agree they shouldn’t be doing that if that’s what they’re doing.

Okay, I just went and checked the parish’s website and it says they offer Baptisms during regular weekend Masses 5 times a year. They offer required parent prep sessions once every 3 months. I have no idea how they justify it in light of Canon Law.

This parish also waits until 4th grade for 1st Communion.

The parish otherwise seems pretty on top of things doctrinally. They make parents bringing their kids for religious ed. sign a covenant form that they will bring their kids to Mass regularly because they don’t want the kids to be confused if their parents don’t bring them when they teach them that missing Mass is a mortal sin. They use the “Image of God” textbook series from Ignatius Press.

 

[EasterJoy]

Hopefully I misremembering what this person said about their parish only baptizing babies once every two months. I agree they shouldn’t be doing that if that’s what they’re doing.

Okay, I just went and checked the parish’s website and it says they offer Baptisms during regular weekend Masses 5 times a year. They offer required parent prep sessions once every 3 months. I have no idea how they justify it in light of Canon Law.

This parish also waits until 4th grade for 1st Communion.

The parish otherwise seems pretty on top of things doctrinally. They make parents bringing their kids for religious ed. sign a covenant form that they will bring their kids to Mass regularly because they don’t want the kids to be confused if their parents don’t bring them when they teach them that missing Mass is a mortal sin. They use the “Image of God” textbook series from Ignatius Press.

Parishes will have periods where there aren’t a lot of new babies, just as they can go for a relatively long time without a funeral, and not a few offer parents the option of scheduling a baptism outside of Mass. For instance, our parish offered the 1 pm time slot outside of Mass, which many people select because their extended families or the godparents would find it difficult to make it to the parish in time for the Sunday morning Mass. It may be that the parish only has babies to baptize at Mass every few months.

If a parent were to have gone through the classes prior to the birth (there were at least two between the conception and the birth) and insisted on having the new baby baptised within three weeks of its birth and the pastor refused, that situation would merit a call to the chancery office. Provided that they are faithful in doing the preparation required by their bishop, the faithful have a right to the sacraments, and canon law specifies the time frame for this one very clearly: not just as a right, but as an obligation.

I do worry that this pastor is not making the obligations upon parents more clear. The policies as you state them seem to imply that there is no obligation to have a baby baptised soon after birth, while impressing that the obligation does exist is part of the duty of a pastor. They may teach that in the classes, but ideally the policies read by those who haven’t gone to the classes yet will also make that clear.

 

[Blenderx]

We waited to baptize our twins because the Godparents were out of the country for school until they were 6 months. I hated the wait.

Also, our parish only does baptisms outside of Mass and they require at least 2 families. I think they like to do it only once a month or so. My old parish used to have baptisms virtually every Sunday at the same Mass.

They would do the baptism without a birth certificate, but would hold off giving the baptism certificate until they got the birth certificate.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

We waited to baptize our twins because the Godparents were out of the country for school until they were 6 months. I hated the wait.

Also, our parish only does baptisms outside of Mass and they require at least 2 families. I think they like to do it only once a month or so. My old parish used to have baptisms virtually every Sunday at the same Mass.

They would do the baptism without a birth certificate, but would hold off giving the baptism certificate until they got the birth certificate.

Just for future reference, and for anyone else that may face this issue (of not having the Godparents there) you can have a proxy be there at the baptism. With one of my kids we did that because their Godparents were my siblings, but they live far away from us, could not come at the moment, and there is no way on Earth that I was going to travel with a baby that has not been baptized yet.

We try to schedule for as soon as possible after they are born, so far it has been 3-10 days old.