Why was Mary married?

[fish90]

God chose to impregnate Mary before she was married. My question is why she would marry later. Was she married in order to keep her virginity or as a cultural thing?

 

[1ke]

Joseph took Mary into his care to protect her and her child.

And, also, to provide Jesus with a loving earthly father to teach and guide him, and we now have the Holy Family as a model for our own families.

 

[Luke65]

Who says Mary got married? Where does the Bible say that Joseph and Mary got married? Nowhere. Where does it say that Mary was a “widow”? Nowhere. Nor does tradition say that Mary got married, but it does say that Joseph died before Jesus began His ministry.

St. Jerome: “What darkness, what raging madness rushing to its own destruction! You say that the mother of the Lord was present at the cross, you say that she was entrusted to the disciple John on account of her widowhood and solitary condition: as if upon your own showing, she had not four sons, and numerous daughters, with whose solace she might comfort herself? You also apply to her the name of widow which is not found in Scripture… But as we do not deny what is written, so we do reject what is not written. We believe that God was born of the Virgin, because we read it. That Mary was married after she brought forth, we do not believe, because we do not read it. Nor do we say this to condemn marriage, for virginity itself is the fruit of marriage; but because when we are dealing with saints we must not judge rashly.” (Against Helvidius, 15, 21)

 

[Orchanian]

Scripture says that Mary was betrothed to Joseph. My understanding of betrothal in those days was that the couple was married but had not yet consummated. Scripture also says that Joseph had decided to divorce Mary when he learned that she was pregnant. If they were not already married, there would be no need for divorce.

Why did they marry? To fulfill the prophecy that the Messiah would be from the House of David, and Joseph came from the House of David, as you see in Matthew’s genealogy.

 

[Bluegoat]

Many Orthodox Christians believe they were not married - there is no evidence to suggest they were, and some to suggest they were not.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit; 19 and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away. 20 But as he considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; 21* she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfil what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23* “Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel” (which means, God with us). 24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had borne a son; and he called his name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25 As I understand it, at that time taking her into his home constituted the final step in the marriage ritual which began with the betrothal.

 

[LilyM]

Scripture does indeed say Joseph took Mary to him and into his home as his wife - meaning they were married. It would’ve been unthinkable for an unrelated couple to live together being unmarried.

Remember Joseph was contemplating putting Mary away (in other words refusing to marry her) but the angel told him not to. Why would this be necessary if Joseph was then going to just stick to his original plan and not marry her?

There were reasons why the marriage was necessary. The most important was probably that without a husband to claim legal if not biological fatherhood for her child, Mary would’ve been presumed guilty of fornication and stoned to death.

 

[Jack17]

Scripture does indeed say Joseph took Mary to him and into his home as his wife - meaning they were married. It would’ve been unthinkable for an unrelated couple to live together being unmarried.

Remember Joseph was contemplating putting Mary away (in other words refusing to marry her) but the angel told him not to. Why would this be necessary if Joseph was then going to just stick to his original plan and not marry her?

There were reasons why the marriage was necessary. The most important was probably that without a husband to claim legal if not biological fatherhood for her child, Mary would’ve been presumed guilty of fornication and stoned to death.

Probably that’s the only real good reason.

 

[RobbyS]

Probably that’s the only real good reason.

Indeed. The role of Joseph was guardian. He may have been a widower, as one tradition has it, and so Mary was much younger. Christian art depicts only the three, but the Scripture does not say that others were not involved.

 

[JReducation]

First, we have to take St. Jerome in context. St. Jerome is talking about what is and is not int he scripture. He’s not saying that Mary was not married or that she was. He’s saying that the scriptures do not mention a wedding. Therefore, one cannot put words into the scriptures. Jerome was writing from the viewpoint of a strict translator.

Now, that being said, the tradition of the Church is that Joseph and Mary were married. The early Christians did believe that Mary and Joseph were married. The early Christians based their faith on several biblical points, besides oral tradition.

1. Scripture does say that the angel todl Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary for his wife.
2. When Jesus gets lost in the temple Mary says, “You father and I have been looking for you.”
3. When Mary gives birth the scriptures tell us that she and Joseph went to the temple for the purification and that they brought the child with them.
4. They also tell us that Joseph took Mary and the child into Egypt.

What we see from the early Church is that they believed that Joseph was Mary’s husband. Therefore, the early Christians allowed these passages to be included in the bible. Had they not believed it, these passages would not have been included in the bible. We have to remember, that the bible was put together to reflect what the early Church believed, not the other way around. It is the family album of the early Church. You put into your family album what you want to see in there, which is whatever represents your family.

Now to the first question, why did Mary get married?

There are several reasonable answers to that.

1. She was betrothed… Once you were betrothed you did not go back on your word.
2. Jesus had to be born from the line of David. Even though Mary was from the line of David, the father is the one who gives him the lineage. The mother gives him the faith. So, Mary makes Jesus a Jew, Joseph makes him a son of David. Scripture tells us that they wen to Bethlehem, because it was the city of Joseph’s line. It doesn’t say Mary’s line. The line of the woman was not what mattered. Here is another proof that she was married to the man. Why go with him to Bethlehem?
3. Mary marries Joseph to fulfill the image of Eden. Jesus is born into a human family that is functional, intact and compliant with all the laws of Isareal. God had given man and woman the commandment to be there for each other. Genesis reminds us that woman was created so that man might not be alone. Therefore the ideal realationshiip in God’s mind, from the moment of creation was marriage. It would be inconsistent with prior revelation for the Son of God to be born of a single mother.
4. Finally, Mary was an historical Jewish woman of the first century. Jewish women of the first century were married shortly after their first menstrual period, between the ages of 13 and 15 at that time. Men were married after they reached puberty and had been Bar Mitzvahed, between 12 and 13. Therefore, Joseph was a young man. No one has ever said that Joseph was an old man or older man. This is a modern myth. It is most likely that Joseph was a teenager. However, we must remember that there is no such thing as adolescence in MIddle Eastern culture. Adolescence is part of Western culture. In non Western cutlures, people go from childhood into adulthood. As cultures become westernized, they adopt adlescence and create an anthropological transition stage between childhood and adulthood. But this was not existent in that time. Life was too short. People often died of deseases at an early age or of violence. They had to get on with their adult life at an early age.

I hope this helps.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF