Question #1: I don’t expect a big revelation, just something to know he’s there at all.
)Matthew 12:38-40
Even at 46 years old, I still have pretty vivid memories of what it was like to be 13…
Well, God does answer all prayers. Sometimes the answer is “no”.
Thank you! You’re probably the only person other than me who thinks my username is clever. And thank you for your words of encouragement, and what you said really made sense. I can’t talk to my parents about it to an extent. They are Protestant, and I’m Catholic. My parents (Father, especially) are anti-Catholicism and in denial of it all. They get so mad when I talk about Catholicism and threaten to punish me (belt usually) if I do. If they knew I was on this site, I would be punished, but they don’t. I know deep that Protestantism isn’t right but they refuse to listen to me a bit. When I told my father about the ‘gates of hell shall not rise against it’ segment, he said ‘Well, it did.’ . He sounded outrageous. And now he talks about how no Christian denomination has the full truth. He reads anti-Catholic sources, and since he heard an (probably anti-Catholic) professor talk bad about the Catholic Church, he’s going with that. It is getting so bad, that he literally said the Catholic Church is a part of the Illuminati, and that they control the Internet, when he couldn’t find anything bad about the Catholic Church. Not to add to the fact my mother is as good as insane right now, since my grandmother has cancer and all (she’s doing OK). She uses the quote in the bible ‘to be of a child’ to mean that she needn’t learn anything about anything. I should use the ‘test all spirits’ quote on her. But she won’t listen. He won’t listen. None of them listen.Even at 46 years old, I still have pretty vivid memories of what it was like to be 13…
Dear one, you are precious to God, in spite of the fact that there are over 7 billion people on the planet.
God may not give you the miracle you seek at this moment because you aren’t ready for it, or perhaps He’s giving you little miracles all the time, and you just aren’t seeing them because you’re looking for something more scientifically undeniable.
OK, so sometimes I think to myself, “I’m sick of being alone today,” and suddenly the phone rings and a friend invites me over. Or I’ll be thirsty, like you said in your post, and my son will walk over and hand me a glass of tea without my asking him. Or I’ll be asking Him for help with a deadline I can’t possibly make, and my job may even be on the line, and suddenly every obstacle becomes obsolete, like they never existed, and the work is finished, seemingly miraculously.
Other times I’ll ask God for a good parking spot because my foot (which is killing me that day) hurts like crazy – but the only spot is the furthest one from the store. Poop, God said “no.” But then as I’m walking into the store, I run into someone who needs help and I can give them assistance – God’s given me a gift in that moment to serve Him in others.
Well, I could go on and on with examples of times God has said “no” to my initial request, but amazing things happened because I didn’t get what I wanted – amazing, almost miraculous coincidences of being helped, or getting what I needed (and as a mom, I have some serious my-child’s-welfare-depends-on-it kinds of needs), or opportunities opening up (like getting to sing at the installation mass of our new Archbishop!), or developing a lifelong friend because I just happened to attend that daily mass at that one church on that one day
It takes training of the mind and heart – and right now, your mind and heart are beginning to grow and blossom in ways that will sometimes overwhelm you! You get to practice looking for God’s miracles. But don’t look for OTHER people’s miracles – the ones you read about online or heard about on youtube. God’s miracles for you will be yours alone, ones that are for your good, for your growth in holiness, and for God to shower His Love upon you.
Hang in there, dear one. When I first replied I didn’t realize how very young you are. I still recommend reading the Bible. I’d also like to add that you talk with your parents and other adult relatives. Talk with the youth leader (or whatever they’re called) at your parish. Talk with your pastor. Get face-to-face and have a conversation about this. You might be surprised how much it helps your heart and your faith.
You are dearly loved by God – the King and Creator of the Universe!
God bless you!
Gertie
Have you ever gone to Adoration for an hour? If not, start going and ask the same thing. Lord, I want to know you more, show me. Stay an hour - once a week (or more). Make sure you thank Him for the many Blessings you’ve recieved. (ex. Lord I praise and thank you for…) There is a verse (can’t think where right now) but it says that “the Lord inhabits the praises of His people”. Visualize all our dear saints and His angels present (as they are always only we don’t always think about it) and our Lord in the center! Amazing!I’m not the type of person to just ask God for anything, like he’s a floating invisible vending machine, But I do pray for him to reveal himself to me in any way. I’ve seen other’s testimonies of how he did it for them, but there’s one problem. He doesn’t answer mine. Not in any way. I pray to get to know him, but he won’t help me. I really need help.
May be your centering too much on yourself and not on Him. When you want someone’s attention the focus needs to be on that person. So instead of saying reveal yourself to me like He is not there say, “Lord I know you are here. I am here. I want to reveal myself to you. I know that you know all things but I do not know myself as I am known by you. Help me to discover what you see in me and wish to reveal through me. I wish to know what you know. Lead me to ask what you want from me. Teach me to lean on you so that I can learn to be faithful. I may lack in trust so give me a trust that will best serve me. I know you are here with me and I want to say thank you for this presence even though at times I have forgotten you. You never forget me, any of us, for your presence is always there with us. How can you as God be with so many people all at once while you can give personally to each of them, giving your full attention? I sometimes do not know what to say to you but I know you are a good listener. Perhaps I need to learn to listen as well. You can teach me this art to listen especially when you want to reveal something to me. Perhaps I was not paying attention when you tried to reveal yourself to me. Than help me to see and hear you when you do speak. They say you speak more fluently when we are praying to you. Than teach me to know how to pray so that I can learn to listen as well.”I’m not the type of person to just ask God for anything, like he’s a floating invisible vending machine, But I do pray for him to reveal himself to me in any way. I’ve seen other’s testimonies of how he did it for them, but there’s one problem. He doesn’t answer mine. Not in any way. I pray to get to know him, but he won’t help me. I really need help.
It would have been helpful if you had included all this explanation for why you felt this way.
Hello Nanotwerp,