WHY?

[liverpudlian]

WHY - WHY IS IT SOMEONE CAN KILL SOMEONE ELSE, CAN SPEND MOST OF THERE LIFE BEING EVIL TO OTHERS, CAN BE A DRUG ADDICT, AN ALCHOLIC, A THIEF ETC ETC.

And yet here am I have never really intentionally hurt anyone in my life and yet I find the catholic church saying the things you have done in the past stop me from taking any part in serving God in the Church.

I am a new Catholic as of March 2008. I have been through the mill in regard to my faith. I have been looking for a home within the church for sometime. I have searched in the wrong areas and made mistakes. I am human! The need to belong - to be loved is human.

I was at one time training for ordination in the free church, early on in my training I realised that I have a great problem receiving the eucharist from a woman. Having always had a male minister in the church I had never been placed in this situation. It became a great problem to the point were I left the free church. For a time I attended the Church of England, only to find them going down the wrong path in regard to womens so called ordination ( I dont think so!)

I stopped going to church for some years - I joined the world with all its problems and sins, I got married and divorced a few times (3) Yes I know how stupid of me I am human I made mistakes, I am paying for those mistakes now. God I believe has forgiven this foolish man. BUT the Catholic church is different it will not forgive and forget, rather I feel like it is rubbing my nose in it. I am deeply sorry for all I have done which has been wrong in the eyes of God. All I wish for the rest of my life is to serve God - is to be useful to my God within His church, but NO. Sit in the pew and dont move is the answer I seem to get. My heart is broken I am lost for an answer as to what I should/could do. ? Anyone out there can give me advise as to what I should do? Please pray for me that God will provide the answer, thank you and God bless. Alan

 

[Kirsty33]

I’m not sure how to advise you- what sort of service were you hoping to do? What I do know is that no matter what has happened in the past and no matter what state of life we are in now we can ALWAYS serve God within the church. Perhaps it will not be in the way you were thinking of but this does not make it less significant- even someone who is 90 and in a rest home can serve the church e.g. through prayer and this is powerful, don’t underestimate it. We serve best when we serve according to God’s will. Just because I am ‘capable’ of becoming a religious (which is a beautiful and precious calling) and thus doing a lot of good and serving the church, does not mean that this is what God is asking of me or the best way I could serve within the Church. I also know that the church isn’t a legal institution there to condemn you for past mistakes but that the church by virtue of its founder (Jesus) must follow Christ’s teachings.

I hope someone can give you good advice, know you are in my prayers

God Bless

 

[LilyM]

Firstly - welcome to the Forums. Slow down and take a deep breath.

You said you’ve been married and divorced three times. Are you currently in any romantic relationship? Seems to me that that would have more of an effect on whether and how you can serve than your previous adventures in matrimony.

Have you had your marriages investigated to see if they’re considered valid by the Church? (Only one of them can possibly be so, of course, the other two will necessarily be invalid and of no significance in Church terms) and whether an annulment is possible at all?

About marriage - it is a sacrament, there are three parties to each marriage - the couple and God. You may call your marriage a mistakes and wrong. But in God’s eyes a valid marriage is a sacramental union by which HE supernaturally binds a couple together, and what He does in binding a couple together can by definition never be wrong or a mistake, no matter how many wrong things and mistakes the couple may do within that marriage.

And you know what Jesus said about ‘what GOD hath joined together’ (which He does in every sacramental marriage).

Finally - why do you feel ordination the only option for you? Have you considered any of the many many other ways in which you can serve God?

You can, for example, since the religious life seems to appeal, (provided you’re not currently in any romantic relationship with anyone) become a lay (secular) member of one of the great religious orders - meaning a Benedictine Oblate, Secular Franciscan, Lay Carmelite, Dominican Teritiary or what have you.

Then there are many other ways you can serve practically in your parish - as reader, usher, youth leader, bible study leader, in the choir or as a cantor or musician, as a Minister of Holy Communion or an altar server maybe, the list goes on and on. Being divorced would be no obstacle to most of those. Again, unless you’re currently in a romantic entanglement.

Prayers for you, think a little about what I’ve said, hope it helps.