why....???

[iluvmybabies]

Why are people so rude? Why can’t people let other’s live in peace?

I have been living in the same neighborhood going on now for 2 years…just about…and for almost an entire year no problems at all… I keep to myself you know… We don’t bother anyone and we don’t hurt anyone… Our dogs are our bffs and our protectors… We live next to a church, nto a Catholic church but a church where not many whites nor other races are invited, but it’s cool you know to each their own…

The past 6 months we had tons of problems with the church people… They have complained about our dogs-called the pound on them etc… They show up at 6 am and leave at 12 midnight on many occassions, preaching, loud music, etc we never complained… But they complained about our dogs, because they can’t hear each other speak after mass since the dogs bark at them… Well on many occassions they have parked on our yard…of course the dogs will bark at them warning them to leave!!! That’s what dogs do…They don’t like it. They have actually sent people including our neighbors to tell us to move our dogs from the front yard to the back yard because they are bothering them. One couple drove up to the house, the woman started honking the horn, my bf was with me that day, and he went outside to see what was going on, she rudely yelled at him to go talk to her, when he told her that he didn’t answer to rude people she told him off, flipped him off and threatened him…

Several weeks later another couple pulled up, we were outside and she hollered at him, I told him to just answer that we didn’t want any problems… They told him he needed to check himself and me with my dogs…

During summer children from the neighborhood would run around the church, since it’s a dead end street the church’s driveway is huge, and it’s the only place to turn around and get out of the neighborhood, since it’s a dead end street, they would hide in the bushes playing hide and seek. Well my children ended up following around and playing… I know my kids aren’t saints but they don’t vandalize anything… Some of the church people called to us and told us they were going to call the cops on us if we didn’t keep our kids out of their private property… We were like huh? We told them many children were playing and that many were using their bikes that it wasn’t just ours and that they didn’t do anything…They were complaining about the bushes how some branches were broken and some leaves missing… And that they were vandalizing their bushes…

Someone complained about me again so they called the city on me again… This is the 4th time they call the city on me…in the neighborhood where I live in the past 9 months…they don’t give me a break??!! I don’t understand…

The first time was because my grass was too tall, the person we were paying to mow the lawn broke his lawnmower so we couldn’t mow the lawn for like 3 weeks…we explained to the city they said whatever…never before were we late on getting the lawn mowed…because we had never been late, this time though, it was during an emergency you know? And it was only one time…we have never been late again…they didn’t care…they told us if they had to come by again I would have to pay $500.00 fine…

The second time animal control and the city were called in about the dogs, they said the dogs were left outside all day long without food, water, etc and that they barked 24/7…As far as I know my dogs only bark when strange people are around the house and if they were out it was during the times they need to go out or when we are not at home…the dogs are not underfed etc, and when they looked at the dogs they were like uhm ok, and then my bf was like do they look underfed to you?! And they were like no, but make sure they don’t bark longer than 30 minutes or we’re going to have problems, we will remove the animals and you will get a citation…They have never barked for over 30 minutes straight, that’s pretty good if someone is actually sitting there taping this all day long… that’s pretty impressive….

 

[iluvmybabies]

The 3rd time was because of some garbage, we were getting rid of stuff we didn’t want that was broken, like all the tvs my kids have broken, over the past several years, so we put them on top of the garbage cans, the next morning all the tvs were gone, and the garbage was all over the place. My db gave me a ride to work that morning and when he got back to the house a city guy was there about to give him a ticket…HE was like dude I just got back from dropping my gf off at work this was like this since this morning not all week long nor last night… Someone did this…and the guy was like well we got a complaint about your yard being messy! I was like WHAT? It’s in the corner of the house where the garbage man is supposed to come and you are seriously telling us this?

The 4th time was right now, someone called and said we had a roach infestation…so the city came over and was like we got complaints that you are infested with roaches??? I was like I can’t believe this! The city guy was like you do realize it’s your responsibility to get rid of them, and my db was in my home this morning babysitting and was like we spoke with her landlord and he said he took care of them before we moved in because the last tenants had major problems, and she has been here for almost 2 years and no problems before but we have found a few here and there… He was like we bombed this house 2 times all ready and they left, and we are seeing one or two back again, that’s not our fault…someone else has them…there is a church right next to us. During summer we would see them crawling outside in the streets…At first I was like I am not getting blamed for this and talked to my landlord and the landlord was like oh yeah I had to get the exterminator with the last tenants…so they weren’t even brought in by us. And all of a sudden they are bothering now and blaming us???

I don’t understand??!!
I have the biggest headache it’s not even funny!

I wished I had the money to get out of here, this place depresses me…

Sorry for saying that but I just don’t understand… We keep to ourselves, I don’t bother anyone and yet I am getting this again?! And my landlord is not even a jerk, I was blessed with a decent landlord not like the past ones that have even sued me because they felt like it??? I can’t believe this!!

Whatever… I just have to deal with it I guess…Sorry I am just not feeling well today! If it’s not one thing it’s another. Sorry for the bother…just needed to let this out… Sorry!!!

Who would do this to us??? We don’t bother anyone?? That’s just wrong… I can’t believe people won’t even leave us alone…

Why would anyone do this? I don’t understand…Even when we lived in the ghetto and the previous tenants of that house left the house as a roach motel, and we begged the landlord to help us and we complained to the city for help they did nothing…and because the last tenants left little gifts in this house, and barely now during winter we are seeing them around and it’s not even because of us, we are getting these issues and problems???

May GOD help us, that’s all I gotta say!!!

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

can you fence in your front yard?
I know some people hate doing it, but we were very close to that before we moved because neighbors wouldn’t stay out of our yard and would park in our 1 car driveway

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also, if they are parking on your property - then I’d put a sign up saying no trespassing at risk of being towed and then do it.

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as for their property/parking lot - stay out of it and tell your kids the same. it’s not very friendly of them, but they aren’t intersted in being friendly, so that’s the respectful thing to do

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keep your dogs up to date on vet visits/shots and make sure they stay on your property

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as for their noise, during the day - I’d let it go (but then that’d be my attitude about the dogs too)

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but most cities have a noise ordinance after a certain time of the evening. if they are breaking that repeatedly, I’d place a phone call. esp if it’s OUTSIDE, even on private property most places have to have a permit to have outside events

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just cover your own bum a bit, kwim?

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**it’s shame that they are being like that b/c all it does it force you to defend yourself in a like manner:shrug: **

 

[iluvmybabies]

can you fence in your front yard?

YA RIGHT! I tried telling my landlord he won’t let me…

I know some people hate doing it, but we were very close to that before we moved because neighbors wouldn’t stay out of our yard and would park in our 1 car driveway

I don’t mind if they park it’s just that why would you complain about someone that doesn’t complain about you??? Doesn’t make any sense???

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also, if they are parking on your property - then I’d put a sign up saying no trespassing at risk of being towed and then do it.

I could put it up but they will just drive by there and knock it down…

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as for their property/parking lot - stay out of it and tell your kids the same. it’s not very friendly of them, but they aren’t intersted in being friendly, so that’s the respectful thing to do

It’s not a driveway it’s like the only area that’s available for people to exit out of the dead end street, you know?

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keep your dogs up to date on vet visits/shots and make sure they stay on your property

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They do my dogs don’t go anywhere, they are in my property they tell me what to do with my dogs in my property…They have gotten lose once or twice but they don’t leave the property, I think once they did and they went to my neighbor whom loves my dogs and took care of them before anyone could find out the dogs were missing or running around she took them… I think one of the times one of my dogs was lose the church members called the pound on her, she was sitting in the porch the entire time barking at them, not going anywhere my neighbor was the witness how within 10 minutes of the dog getting lose the dog pound was there…she tried to take the dog inside her home but the pound threatened her, and they tricked the dog into getting outside of the yard and impounded her!!

as for their noise, during the day - I’d let it go (but then that’d be my attitude about the dogs too)

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see that’s the thing, I have 2 dogs, a beagle- and a rott…my rott is trained to be a guard dog, and she’s our family dog, my beagle is my alarm and my baby… they are both spoiled rotten and are good girls… my rott is over protective and my beagle doesn’t forgive anyone that walks near the door without sounding the alarm… My rott barks when she needs to warn people, my beagle barks to tell us someone is coming… they will not bark longer than they have to and they are inside the house 60% of the day and only out 40% of the day during summer, spring and fall, during winter they are outside 25% of the day and inside 75% of the day…

but most cities have a noise ordinance after a certain time of the evening. if they are breaking that repeatedly, I’d place a phone call. esp if it’s OUTSIDE, even on private property most places have to have a permit to have outside events

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YES I understand and my dogs do not sleep outside… they sleep inside my house, my rott sleeps in my room and the beagle with my children…

just cover your own bum a bit, kwim?

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**it’s shame that they are being like that b/c all it does it force you to defend yourself in a like manner:shrug: **

It’s a shame indeed…

 

[RubyT]

I am so sorry that the church next door seems so uncharitable. My suggestions try to get a fence around the whole yard. Now if you had the money for a fence you would have the money to move right?
Go to the freecycle site online for your area see if you can find some free fencing.
Tell us what town you are in just incase there is someone here on the forum that can help you with fencing.
Start the fencing in your yard which borders the church. Wooden fencing would be best since that would also cut down on noise. Ask your lanlord for permission before fencing anything.

Approach the problem with concern and kindness. Ask the Pastor or deacon of the church if they could help you with fencing or write them a nice letter. Tell him that you would like to help the church but you don’t know what to do. Maybe the church people can all pitch in and build a wooden fence for you. I doubt this would happen but try it, you never know they may just really like the idea. You are entitled to your pets and they are entitled to some peace and quiet.
Never reply to the people at the church with anger as that just breeds more anger. When they yell at you just say I am sorry you feel that way, do you have a solution?

Just my two cents. Let us know what happens. God Bless you my friend. We are here for you.

 

[iluvmybabies]

I am so sorry that the church next door seems so uncharitable. My suggestions try to get a fence around the whole yard. Now if you had the money for a fence you would have the money to move right?
Go to the freecycle site online for your area see if you can find some free fencing.
Tell us what town you are in just incase there is someone here on the forum that can help you with fencing.
Start the fencing in your yard which borders the church. Wooden fencing would be best since that would also cut down on noise. Ask your lanlord for permission before fencing anything.

That’s the problem he doesn’t want his yard fenced in… The reason I haven’t moved is because I have been wanting a house in a safe neighborhood, and this is a decent neighborhood and I have been here for almost 2 years and before I had no problems… All of a sudden there is nothing but… Not only that but it’s the only house I can actually afford right now…

Approach the problem with concern and kindness. Ask the Pastor or deacon of the church if they could help you with fencing or write them a nice letter. Tell him that you would like to help the church but you don’t know what to do. Maybe the church people can all pitch in and build a wooden fence for you. I doubt this would happen but try it, you never know they may just really like the idea. You are entitled to your pets and they are entitled to some peace and quiet.

Yeah right!! I have tried speaking with them, I even asked my bf to help me out, when he tried they told him that the dogs didn’t let them talk after church because they bark at them, that they couldn’t stand the dogs and that we need to keep the dogs inside the house while they are having mass!! When we reminded them that their mass was almost daily and that people were there since 6 am till almost midnight on a daily basis and that we couldn’t keep the dogs inside all day they started yelling!! ANd getting loud…talking about unfair treatment etc… and we were like what in the world are you talkin about??? My pets are not near them, do you understand? they are in my yard, in my property not in theirs… they park in my yard as well, we don’t park in theirs we don’t even bother them at all…because some of the kids would ride their bikes in the turn around they have there during summer doesn’t mean they are violating some kind of privacy… The children in our neighborhood aren’t the only ones that use that driveway and turn around…When people get lost the church’s turn around is the only way to turn around and get out of the neighborhood without backing up the entire road…

Never reply to the people at the church with anger as that just breeds more anger. When they yell at you just say I am sorry you feel that way, do you have a solution?

We don’t know whom called on us and we haven’t been violent with them ever at all… It is not my problem they feel they need to tell people off just because they can…
My gf told me that her next door neighbor had threatened her to call the pound on her because her little dog barks 24/7… I mean 24/7 when she’s outside…She’s a little dog with a loud mouth and she’s still a pup so she barks at anything and everything… We were outside during summer with the pup and we sat down having a picnic with my gf and her family and the dog didn’t stop barking for an hour straight… I AM NOT KIDDING!! My dogs don’t do that… Mine are older girls whom have been trained otherwise… I have never had complaints about my dogs… We move to this neighborhood and all of a sudden they are a bother… The first month we moved here someone tried to break into the house… Ever since they found out about the dogs they never did it again… AND it’s a safe neighborhood, it’s no where near any ghetto… ??? Yeah…so I don’t know if it’s the same people whom tried to break in or what???

Just my two cents. Let us know what happens. God Bless you my friend. We are here for you.

Thank you for your prayers and help, believe me I have tried to keep peace… I have even reduced the time the dogs spend outside to about 20 minutes a day… I have tried it all and still the complaints keep on coming!!

 

[whatevergirl]

They should NOT be allowed to park ON your yard…what? That sounds like the problem right there. Your dogs are only reacting to ‘trespassers,’ so to speak. I would call the police the next time someone parts ON your yard…because that is a private property. They need to compile the tithes perhaps, from their weekly offerings and build themselves a parking lot, I think.

 

[puzzleannie]

not much we can do to help a local situation

recommend you visit the parish office, sit down with the pastor, get to know each other as neighbors, and explain the situation to him. He may be totally unaware of what is going on, but he can certainly make an announcement to the congregation to remind them to respect your property, and to be aware of the safety of children playing. When you say “they” called the city, who is “they?” The next time somebody parks in your yard call the city to have the car towed. If there is some way anyone in your household is breaking city ordinances regardin gh the dogs, maintenance, or anything else, take steps to rectify the situation.

 

[iluvmybabies]

They should NOT be allowed to park ON your yard…what? That sounds like the problem right there. Your dogs are only reacting to ‘trespassers,’ so to speak. I would call the police the next time someone parts ON your yard…because that is a private property. They need to compile the tithes perhaps, from their weekly offerings and build themselves a parking lot, I think.

Actually about 2 weeks ago, one man from the church told my b off as he was coming over to see me, he parked on the side of the yard where they like to park because he was just dropping off some things for my children that he got them…

So I called the cops, the cops came over and told us, that they had, had complaints about my dog, and that they didn’t come here because the dog was in the yard tied up so there is nothing they can do about it… Just like there is nothing they can do about the church members filing complaints about the dogs nor us filing complaints about them… To try and just ignore them… that’s it!!

when we told the cops about their parking, they told me that since there is no sidewalk and since their driveway is public technically so is about 5 ft of the front, and side yard of the property I reside in, as well!!

 

[kage_ar]

Being a good neighbor goes both ways.

I am a dog lover. I would not feel comfortable with a strange rott guard dog barking at me that is tied outside without a fence. Beagles, they are cute and owners love them, that sound they make is endearing ONLY to beagle lovers - it can drive other people insane!

We have a Shiba Inu. It is a very vocal breed, some of the females make sounds that can split your ears, when our dog was young, her “happy sound” to a stranger would sound as if someone was cutting off her legs. We have to understand that while we are accustomed to the sounds and find them sweet, not everyone does.

In order to be a good neighbor, tie the dogs in the back with the church is in session.

The church has to worry about insurance, so, even if every other kid is on the parking lot - tell your kids they are not allowed to be there. Good neighbors respect each other’s property.

Put trash out the morning trash is picked up - not the night before, it can be a temptation to less than savory people to valdalize and is an eyesore.

When you have made an effort to be a good neighbor, give it a couple of weeks. Then, when a car parks in your lawn, call the office of the church and ask politely that the car be moved. If it is not, call and have it towed.

 

[iluvmybabies]

not much we can do to help a local situation

recommend you visit the parish office, sit down with the pastor, get to know each other as neighbors, and explain the situation to him. He may be totally unaware of what is going on, but he can certainly make an announcement to the congregation to remind them to respect your property, and to be aware of the safety of children playing. When you say “they” called the city, who is “they?” The next time somebody parks in your yard call the city to have the car towed. If there is some way anyone in your household is breaking city ordinances regardin gh the dogs, maintenance, or anything else, take steps to rectify the situation.

Nope he’s not unaware… We actually used to live in the same neighborhood before… My db would come by and play his guitar outside in my yard sometimes and one day the pastor stopped by and told him to come and play for him in his church, when my b told him thank you but that he didn’t play for a non catholic church the pastor got really upset and then problems started in that neighborhood… We moved out before things got bad…and that was the ghetto neighborhood we lived in…

We move to a good neighborhood and what a coincidence the same pastor is the pastor for the church next door to my house??? Can you say KARMA???

 

[iluvmybabies]

Being a good neighbor goes both ways.

I am a dog lover. I would not feel comfortable with a strange rott guard dog barking at me that is tied outside without a fence. Beagles, they are cute and owners love them, that sound they make is endearing ONLY to beagle lovers - it can drive other people insane!

My neighbors don’t complain about my rott, nor beagle… my next door neighbor loves both dogs and on occassions his dog comes and plays with mine, my other neighbor accross from me has spent countless times with my dogs, and her dog loves playing with my beagle… As stated before, my beagle barks when strangers are around, and my rott doesn’t appreciate people coming into the yard…unfortuntaley that’s what she was trained to do, be a guard dog when no one is home…

We have a Shiba Inu. It is a very vocal breed, some of the females make sounds that can split your ears, when our dog was young, her “happy sound” to a stranger would sound as if someone was cutting off her legs. We have to understand that while we are accustomed to the sounds and find them sweet, not everyone does.

In order to be a good neighbor, tie the dogs in the back with the church is in session.

As stated before, we have done that, they are still unhappy and have ordered us to move the dogs inside the house… and keep them there…

The church has to worry about insurance, so, even if every other kid is on the parking lot - tell your kids they are not allowed to be there. Good neighbors respect each other’s property.

It’s not a parking lot its a turn around, the only one that there is for people to get out of the neighborhood…they use it as their parking lot…as well as my yard…

Put trash out the morning trash is picked up - not the night before, it can be a temptation to less than savory people to valdalize and is an eyesore.

Really…it’s hard to keep my trash inside the house since my dogs sleep inside the house, so trash is taken out every night so the dogs don’t go through it…

When you have made an effort to be a good neighbor, give it a couple of weeks. Then, when a car parks in your lawn, call the office of the church and ask politely that the car be moved. If it is not, call and have it towed.

we were told by the cops that they have the right to park their cars there as we have the right to keep our dogs where we want them to be…

 

[kage_ar]

Nope he’s not unaware… We actually used to live in the same neighborhood before… My db would come by and play his guitar outside in my yard sometimes and one day the pastor stopped by and told him to come and play for him in his church, when my b told him thank you but that he didn’t play for a non catholic church the pastor got really upset and then problems started in that neighborhood…

That sheds a whole 'nother light on things.

The polite way for that conversation is:

“You play well. You should come play for our church sometime”

“I am committed to St. so-and-so’s on Sundays, and I play for youth group on Tuesdays.”

“We have praise and worship on Friday nights”

“Well, pastor, I may stop by sometime, thanks for the invite.”

By saying “I don’t play for non-catholics”, your boyfriend insulted the guy. That most likely sowed the seeds of disharmony.

Back to good neighbor 101 - start working being the best example of a Christian loving neighbor you can be.

 

[puzzleannie]

by “is the pastor aware” I mean have you told him about the specific complaints and violations as soon as they happen, not does he know who you are. we have a neighbor next to the church whose dogs bark incessantly (they are always outside in the fenced in yard as this is the south) at the school children and parents, anyone using the parking lot which abuts their property (and which they use for their friends and family, sometimes taking up a third of our spots, as they will probably do on Christmas). The church makes no complaint about them as our pastor just won’t go there. Individuals probably gripe or even yell at them. oh yeah, their kids also have a garage band (actually a driveway band) and often practice on Sunday morning (like yeah what teenagers do that) or during evening services.

the point is there are right ways and wrong ways to deal with such frictions. from my POV their behavior (based on insults yelled at me anytime I park there) is deliberate. From their POV maybe other parishioners are affronting them, I don’t know. But nothing is to be gained by brining the police in unless there is actually a violation of law.

 

[Trishie]

You say it’s not a Catholic church. Some other denominations don’t take to Catholics. From what you say regarding the pastor getting upset “when my b told him thank you but that he didn’t play for a non catholic church the pastor got really upset and then problems started in that neighborhood.”

If resentment from the pastor, passed on to his parishioners, against you folk as Catholics, is at the bottom of the problem, then they’re unlikely to let up until you move away. It’s about getting rid of the Catholics next door. There is evidence that some Christians look down on Catholics as not really a Christian Church, so for a Catholic to refuse to play for them, would seem quite an insult…although your brother’s not to blame as it’s his freedom of choice.

You also mentioned something about race exclusivity in that church…there may also be race resentment in response to the refusal. So you may not be able to do anything about these folk…and it only leaves you with how you can cope with all this stress and hassle.

I hope and pray it sorts out for you and your family, for your peace of mind and quality of life.
Love, Trishie

 

[iluvmybabies]

That sheds a whole 'nother light on things.

The polite way for that conversation is:

“You play well. You should come play for our church sometime”

“I am committed to St. so-and-so’s on Sundays, and I play for youth group on Tuesdays.”

“We have praise and worship on Friday nights”

“Well, pastor, I may stop by sometime, thanks for the invite.”

By saying “I don’t play for non-catholics”, your boyfriend insulted the guy. That most likely sowed the seeds of disharmony.

Back to good neighbor 101 - start working being the best example of a Christian loving neighbor you can be.

Well that was what he said and that was it…it was in the past… and I didn’t see anything wrong with him telling him he didn’t play and that’s it… He doesn’t lie nor likes to pretend things, he’s not a hypocrite… My b is very honest and the pastor knew that because many times before when we would have picnics or friends over and they would have their church gatherings and stuff their church members would ask us to stop by and since we would have guests we would be honest and tell them that we had guests and we were grateful for the inv but that we had our guests over, that it would be great if they would like to join us but that we wre having a get to gether in our home… The pastor would always tell us how he liked our honesty… Just didn’t like that my b wouldn’t go play in his church… Neighbors told us he was always trying to “convert” people into their church…

The point is that, as stated before, I have no reason to kiss anyone’s butt, we are honest people, we treat people fairly, if they don’t like it, I am sorry that is the way they feel, we don’t start problems, we stick to ourselves, and we always try to give as much as we can, even if it’s not monetarily…

The point is that no one else complains about us in our neighborhood, they are the only ones that do…

 

[iluvmybabies]

by “is the pastor aware” I mean have you told him about the specific complaints and violations as soon as they happen, not does he know who you are. we have a neighbor next to the church whose dogs bark incessantly (they are always outside in the fenced in yard as this is the south) at the school children and parents, anyone using the parking lot which abuts their property (and which they use for their friends and family, sometimes taking up a third of our spots, as they will probably do on Christmas). The church makes no complaint about them as our pastor just won’t go there. Individuals probably gripe or even yell at them. oh yeah, their kids also have a garage band (actually a driveway band) and often practice on Sunday morning (like yeah what teenagers do that) or during evening services.

the point is there are right ways and wrong ways to deal with such frictions. from my POV their behavior (based on insults yelled at me anytime I park there) is deliberate. From their POV maybe other parishioners are affronting them, I don’t know. But nothing is to be gained by brining the police in unless there is actually a violation of law.

Yes we have spoken with him plenty of times… That’s how we found out he was the same pastor that we used to live by… well they complained and called them on us first… We didn’t do it until it came to that… I mean these people get out of church at midnight on almost a daily basis, and want to be chatting outside, I know that’s their business, but they keep people awake… They get the dogs rowdied up so I would have to take my dog out to use the bathroom, and that’s where it gets worst… It’s like uhm sorry but you woke up my dog she needed to go out I can’t shut her up??? And they called the cops on me… Saying I was trying to throw the dog on them, because my dog was tied up outside?? The cops told them that there was nothing they could do since it was private property and the dogs were tied up… Just as there is nothing I could do about them having services past midnight…

We don’t have parties, unless it’s summer and mostly private parties with our friends inside our home, not out doors, there have been a couple of times during fall we had bonfires, everyone was roasting marshmallows, no loud music, hot cocoa, etc, and we were inside the house before midnight… and my dogs were inside the whole time… like i said we stick to ourselves, except on certain occassions… but not like what goes on with your neighbors…

We don’t insult people and the reason my kids were around the turn-around was because they were riding their bikes and it was only done once or twice…and we forbid them from doing it ever again… Like I said I have tried everything I can to try and keep things peaceful I am sorry if it doesn’t seem like I have but I really have it’s just not enough for them…

 

[iluvmybabies]

You say it’s not a Catholic church. Some other denominations don’t take to Catholics. From what you say regarding the pastor getting upset “when my b told him thank you but that he didn’t play for a non catholic church the pastor got really upset and then problems started in that neighborhood.”

HUH? No I don’t think… I mean I have never heard… ???

If resentment from the pastor, passed on to his parishioners, against you folk as Catholics, is at the bottom of the problem, then they’re unlikely to let up until you move away. It’s about getting rid of the Catholics next door. There is evidence that some Christians look down on Catholics as not really a Christian Church, so for a Catholic to refuse to play for them, would seem quite an insult…although your brother’s not to blame as it’s his freedom of choice.

But he’s an adult and a man of faith, you don’t really think??? I mean I never heard, I mean I know about church and religious conflicts but these are small areas and a small city why would they be… no…I don’t think so…

You also mentioned something about race exclusivity in that church…there may also be race resentment in response to the refusal. So you may not be able to do anything about these folk…and it only leaves you with how you can cope with all this stress and hassle.

Yes no one other than certain color is allowed in that church… One of our friends said he’s been there plenty of times, to attend in their masses but I have never seen him there, he claimed that he was really close to the pastor and when they were having mass and I asked him if he wasn’t joining them, he like flipped out and was like oh i gotta go home!! SO i was like hmmmm??? I mean like I said before, we don’t bother anyone… I mean they won’t even accept when we are cleaning our car we put some music on, whatever it is and the kids can be running around the yard outside, they will tell us to turn the music down or even OFF because it’s bothering them… and it could be kids songs or country songs or you know and they have come up to us and told us to turn the racket down because it was annoying them…and to shut the kids up… We’ve been like are you serious?

I hope and pray it sorts out for you and your family, for your peace of mind and quality of life.
Love, Trishie

Thank you, I mean I don’t mind their church and even though I like to sleep in on saturdays but 6 am there are their drums and music and loud screaming etc and we haven’t complained, we just try to cover our ears and sleep!! But everything we do is a bother to them… when we are locked in the house no one coming out there are no problems… we don’t hear anything, but when the dogs are outside etc everything is a problem for them!!!

I do hope things get better too… I hope by February I find another home where I can live in peace… It seems trouble finds us in every neighborhood… If it’s not one thing it’s another… Actually the first neighborhood I moved into, out in the country there was nothing but peace… Too bad there aren’t any houses out there for rent right now… that was the only place I had no problems at all!!

 

[basilisk]

It seems trouble finds us in every neighborhood… If it’s not one thing it’s another…

Well, not to be rude, but the only common denominator in these situations is you. Perhaps you and your bf need to reevaluate the way you interact with people. You may be getting their hackles up without realizing it. I have to agree with previous posters about your bf’s conversation with the pastor. That was rudeness, and it sure did give a bad image of Catholics. People already think we are stuck up and exclusive due to our Eucharistic policies… your bf only reinforced that idea and made it worse. There are polite ways to refuse an invitation, and what your bf said wasn’t it. The suggested conversation about being committed to St. so-and-so’s would have made the point about being Catholic, but also included thanks for the invite, appreciation for the compliment, AND valid reasons for the refusal of the invitation. How do you think we will heal the breaches in the Body of Christ if people flat out refuse to even enter one another’s places of worship and fellowship with them? Or even if we choose not to go there, we can choose not to insult others. What your boyfriend said to that pastor was the pastor’s church was not good enough, not even worthy of consideration as a place to share his music as a message of Christ. Not a good way to relate to your neighbors. You can be honest and true to yourself without smacking people upside the head with a shovel about it.

What the cops said about them being able to park on your yard probably has to do with easements, which yes, can be a major headache to people who have to live with them. But eminent domain and the interest of cities unfortunately make them necessary.

I hope when you move you find a nice neighborhood, and also that you are nice neighbors.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Well, not to be rude, but the only common denominator in these situations is you. Perhaps you and your bf need to reevaluate the way you interact with people. You may be getting their hackles up without realizing it. I have to agree with previous posters about your bf’s conversation with the pastor. That was rudeness, and it sure did give a bad image of Catholics. People already think we are stuck up and exclusive due to our Eucharistic policies… your bf only reinforced that idea and made it worse. There are polite ways to refuse an invitation, and what your bf said wasn’t it. The suggested conversation about being committed to St. so-and-so’s would have made the point about being Catholic, but also included thanks for the invite, appreciation for the compliment, AND valid reasons for the refusal of the invitation. How do you think we will heal the breaches in the Body of Christ if people flat out refuse to even enter one another’s places of worship and fellowship with them? Or even if we choose not to go there, we can choose not to insult others. What your boyfriend said to that pastor was the pastor’s church was not good enough, not even worthy of consideration as a place to share his music as a message of Christ. Not a good way to relate to your neighbors. You can be honest and true to yourself without smacking people upside the head with a shovel about it.

What the cops said about them being able to park on your yard probably has to do with easements, which yes, can be a major headache to people who have to live with them. But eminent domain and the interest of cities unfortunately make them necessary.

I hope when you move you find a nice neighborhood, and also that you are nice neighbors.

I don’t think it was a rude answer… My aunt is Christian and not once has she ever accepted any invitations from my family into going to our church when she comes and visits… She’d rather stay in the house or hotel while we are at mass… She straight out told us, “I am not Catholic I will not join you!” We didn’t think that was rude… On the contrary she’s honest and that’s how she feels, I don’t see anything wrong with being honest…even if it hurts… Like when my mother tells me I look like a sack of potatoes with clothes that I wear, she’s honest, it might hurt but she’s honest and that’s important… I am not here to kiss anyone’s butt, sorry that’s not me… When we invite our friends’ over and they are too busy they tell us straight out, “we are busy can’t make it!” We don’t get angry everyone has things to do… And if someone doesn’t like to play in other’s churche’s why should that be covered up and lied to as “maybe some other time?” And we didn’t hit him with a shovel? Everyone has their opinions and their rights to express themselves… These people sing first thing bright and early and practice first thing bright and early and finish late at night, that’s like denying us our right to peace but no one fights them over it nor tells them anything… Because we let them know that we didn’t want to sing in their church means that we are bad people? Or condemming our church because of that, I don’t understand how that makes any sense???

Then you are being dishonest when you know deep in your heart you will never go…And what if the pastor would have asked the week after? The same excuse? I mean seriously… that would have never worked and it would have caused even more aggravation to the pastor… Like I stated before he told us on occassions how grateful he was that we were honest and not trying to sugar coat everything…

But I guess his failing in getting us to join him just upset him more…

Not only that but how is it our fault, or that we may be asking for people to be rude to us because we don’t want to join their church? What one person says doesn’t disqualify anything… so I guess I should think badly of this church and these people because of what this specific group are doing to us??? That doesn’t make any sense???

Ok well thanks and sorry that for being honest we are considered bad neighbors when the only ones complaining are the members from that church not MY NEIGHBORS??!!!