Wife and Confession

[aball1035]

I need some advice about a certain situation regarding my wife and Confession. My wife never goes to confession, and I’m wondering how much I should bring it up, or get involved. I don’t know how much of her frequenting the sacrament is “my business”, but I know it can’t be healthy for one to skip confession for months on end. I try to make it a point to go every week or 2 myself to set a good example.

Am I being too picky?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

What does she say when you invite her to go with you?

 

[aball1035]

She says that she doesn’t need confession. I obviously don’t know the state of her soul, but it’s not a good thing to go months at a time without confession, especially because she has a lack of a prayer life.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

After you’ve invited her, it has to be her choice to go or not. If it were me, I would pray for her and fast for her. But then, I think you need to step aside and give the Holy Spirit room to work.

 

[MaryT777]

After you’ve invited her, it has to be her choice to go or not. If it were me, I would pray for her and fast for her. But then, I think you need to step aside and give the Holy Spirit room to work.

Yes, well said.

Mary.

 

[walnutleviosa]

Pray about it. Ask God to inspire her. I constantly pray for my husband in this manner and prayer works!

 

[JurisPrudens]

A Catholic is supposed to confess once a year. If she does not do that, there is obviously smth wrong…

 

[pensmama87]

A Catholic is supposed to confess once a year. If she does not do that, there is obviously smth wrong…

Right, but OP’s wife could be meeting the requirement. We just know she doesn’t go “months at a time.”

She could also prefer to go at a different time or parish.

If the OP knows for certain that she’s not following the precept of the Church, he might remind her of it, but then it’s her call. Inviting to go together is a good idea too.

But if she is going at least once a year and not in mortal sin, then OP may have to accept that for whatever reason her devotional practice is different.

I think prayer and fasting for one’s spouse is a good practice regardless.

 

[GLam8833]

I had the same problem, except I think I know
WHY she wouldn’t go, you see, I was a
Baptist and she a Catholic when we married,
she got baptized again in the Baptist Church,
but then after a few years, we went BACK to
the Catholic Church. She had a friend from the
Baptist Church who was the maid of honor at
our wedding, well she coached my wife on how
to be a baptist and must have told her not to
confess to anyone EXCEPT God your sins…

 

[underacloud]

A Catholic is supposed to confess once a year. If she does not do that, there is obviously smth wrong…

Strictly, only if there are mortal sins to confess.

Someone who does not commit any personal mortal sins has no obligation to confess at all.

But…frequent confession is of course recommended regardless.

 

[punisherthunder]

But does she go to Mass every week?

 

[paperwight66]

Strictly, only if there are mortal sins to confess.

Someone who does not commit any personal mortal sins has no obligation to confess at all.

But…frequent confession is of course recommended regardless.

Indeed.

See Cano Law 989, I believe. Catholics are not obliged to go to Confession every year, but to receive Holy Communion.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

How is her spiritual life otherwise? Is faith something you and she converse about without contention? Does she take an interest in matters of faith outside of fulfilling the minimum obligation?

It sounds like she might benefit from learning/understanding more about the value of confession, even for venial sins, or perhaps understand sin better (I think many people think they are not committing mortal sins, but are actually committing sins that are more serious than they realize) But if she is generally luke warm about her faith, I wouldn’t expect her to respond all that well to lots of information about these things. First a relationship with God and love for the faith needs to be cultivated. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t casually invite her to come with you when you go. And it’s not to say you shouldn’t calmly explain to her what the Church really teaches about venial sin and confession. But as I said, a person who doesn’t really care, is not going to care more with more information. A gentle leading of the family towards a fuller practice of faith might be more helpful in the long run.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Strictly, only if there are mortal sins to confess.

Someone who does not commit any personal mortal sins has no obligation to confess at all.

But…frequent confession is of course recommended regardless.

Mortal sins are to be confessed ASAP.

Catholics are bound to confess once a year, preferably during Lent/Easter season.

For the OP.

My husband and I are reverts. (we didn’t practice the Catholic faith for a while) He reverted first. My reversion came a year or so later. What I remember was my husband being a good example. I’m sure he kept me in his prayers.

 

[paperwight66]

No, this isn’t so. See Canon Law 989.

Catholics are obliged to receive Holy Communion once a year, at Easter or thereabouts. They are not obliged to go to Confession, unless they are conscious of having committed mortal sin.

 

[gfeulner]

Strictly, only if there are mortal sins to confess.

Someone who does not commit any personal mortal sins has no obligation to confess at all.

But…frequent confession is of course recommended regardless.

That’s correct. Gerry