Wife and mother

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Marriage is a vocation in and of itself. Being a mother or a stay at home wife is not a definite, they are added callings and blessings that come from the marriage themselves. To me it sounds as if motherhood might be more appealing to you than being a wife. You must be comfortable enough with your future husband to stay with him for the rest of your life, even if you aren’t blessed with children. And if you are blessed with children, eventually they grow up, leave the house, and you will be alone together again, quite possibly for decades. Then there is always the possibilities that YOU will be called to work full time while your husband stays at home, due to illness of mind or body. Or your husband won’t be able to make enough and you will be called to work part time, or spend long hours away from him while he works 1.5-2 jobs. You may or may not be a mother during this time. But if you are a mother, you might be called to be the “bread winner” and your husband a stay at home dad for a time. Or you may not have children, or they may take many months or years to come, and then what would you want to do as a married woman w/out children? There will be at least nine months before the birth of the first child. Would you be comfortable being a stay at home wife without children? Would you maybe want something to do during that time? These are some things to think about as you discern your vocation and your plans of study at college.
 
Thank you for all of your replies. To answer some of the questions: No, I don’t plan on relying on him to be my knight in shining armor because I know he is not going to be and I don’t want to feel indebted to him or have him feel like he can make all the decisions because I need him. I know I want to continue studying something or getting a job because in case anything ever happens I don’t want to be stuck not being able to do anything. I guess my problem is what to do next but I know nobody can solve that for me.

I also feel like I kind of just needed to vent about the boyfriend situation because I keep it pent up since I have no one to share it with. I wish we could have open and honest talks about the future without him thinking I’m nagging him to propose or something. If I knew what kind of plan he had for us then I would relax because I know what’s going on. I have big decisions to make regarding my future this coming year and so does he, it would be nice to know where I fit in his life.I guess that’s something I need to tell him.
 
w2bp88 said:
If I knew what kind of plan he had for us then I would relax because I know what’s going on. I have big decisions to make regarding my future this coming year and so does he, it would be nice to know where I fit in his life.I guess that’s something I need to tell him.
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It isn’t what kind of plan HE has for you both, it’s what kind of plan BOTH of you have together. And from what you’ve written, you don’t have a ‘together plan’.

I think you should make your own plans for your future. I’m sorry to say it doesn’t sound like he’s all that into you. And you deserve much better.
 
w2bp88 said:
I also feel like I kind of just needed to vent about the boyfriend situation because I keep it pent up since I have no one to share it with. I wish we could have open and honest talks about the future without him thinking I’m nagging him to propose or something. If I knew what kind of plan he had for us then I would relax because I know what’s going on. I have big decisions to make regarding my future this coming year and so does he, it would be nice to know where I fit in his life.I guess that’s something I need to tell him.
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I agree with the previous poster that it should be a plan you have together, not a plan that he has for the both of you.

Do you think you might be thinking of law school simply because he is?

This late into the relationship you should be discussing your future. The way you are making it sound is that you’ve been together for nearly 2 years, and you and he don’t discuss the future, how committed you are to each other, or anything like that.

That in my opinion is not normal for a 2 year relationship. You should be discussing your future together, what your desires are for life in terms of marriage and family, and all the things like that.

You need to have this discussion with him. If he’s just not that into you, you need to know this so you can move on and find someone who shares your desire for marriage and family.
 
You guys are right, I need to make my own plans not just see what he thinks we should do. If ours happen to coincide, great. If not, I need to do what’s right for me. Thanks 👍
About law school, I had the idea before he did. He recently decided on it after I had been talking about it for a while.
 
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