Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion

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The practice has a long history in the catholic church. Shouldn’t come as that much of a shock. It makes very good sense.
You do not go to communion and you make a spiritual communion instead.

Pope St John Paul II:

“unlike any other sacrament, the mystery [of communion] is so perfect that it brings us to the heights of every good thing: Here is the ultimate goal of every human desire, because here we attain God and God joins himself to us in the most perfect union.”
Precisely for this reason it is good to cultivate in our hearts a constant desire for the sacrament of the Eucharist. This was the origin of the practice of “spiritual communion,” which has happily been established in the Church for centuries and recommended by saints who were masters of the spiritual life. "

Here is a good article:

catholicstrength.com

According to Saint Thomas Aquinas spiritual communion consists of “an ardent desire to receive Jesus in the Holy Sacrament – Catholic Strength

Posts about According to Saint Thomas Aquinas spiritual communion consists of “an ardent desire to receive Jesus in the Holy Sacrament written by tomlirish
catholicstrength.com catholicstrength.com

Perhaps this thread has been worthwhile to you after all, you haven’t convinced us, but you learned something of spiritual value!!!
 
Pup7 said:
As a wife of 18 years I really have no desire to know everything my husband thinks.
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Who said anything about knowing everything anyone thinks?
I also don’t always want my husband’s help, just as I’m sure (and I know this for a fact) that he doesn’t always want mine. That’s not a freedom. That’s a privilege, even after 18 years.
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Not wanting your spouses help during a time when you may have seriously sinned against Jesus is very proud!
 
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rcwitness said:
Not wanting your spouses help during a time when you may have seriously sinned against Jesus is very proud!
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No. Sometimes you don’t need any help. Sometimes you already know what the solution is and it’s as simply as waiting for an appropriate time to go to confession.

What is proud is presuming to know what is best for other people’s marriages. What is proud is jumping to conclusions and then judging people based on those assumptions because you think you know better. That is pride (specifically ego).
 
I’m not telling you people how you should approach this. I’m saying just because you don’t want it, doesn’t mean it is wrong, and even that sometimes it is righteous.

There are people who benefit from communicating and making amends to those they hurt, and taking help from those who love them.
 
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rcwitness said:
Not wanting your spouses help during a time when you may have seriously sinned against Jesus is very proud!
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No, it’s not pride in the least. Ridiculous to think that in my opinion.

Why would I want my spouse’s help if I’m taking it to the One who is THERE to help me? As much as I love him my husband cannot possibly fix everything and assist with every problem. Not at all. It would be wrong for me to think he can. That’s an incredible amount of pressure to put on someone.
rcwitness said:
Who said anything about knowing everything anyone thinks?
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Your insistence that a spouse has the right and practically the duty to question when someone doesn’t receive Communion makes me think you also believe every thought should be shared. I’m here to tell you that’s not how it works.
 
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rcwitness said:
There are people who benefit from communicating and making amends to those they hurt, and taking help from those who love them.
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And no one is disputing that. Just because I don’t take Communion doesn’t meant that my sin had ANYTHING to do with my husband. We are independent people even as we are one, and we alone are responsible for our own actions.

For example, I don’t take military issues to my spouse. Know why? He has no solution for most of them. He has no idea of how my world works. I take those issues to my military friends, many whom have more experience and more rank than I do, and who likely have the answers I need. Doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t care - it means he’s just not a part of what we do.

I don’t take every personal issue to him either. That’s why I talk to chaplains. And invariably I talk to DH as well, and sometimes I don’t.
 
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Pup7 said:
Why would I want my spouse’s help if I’m taking it to the One who is THERE to help me? As much as I love him my husband cannot possibly fix everything and assist with every problem. Not at all. It would be wrong for me to think he can.
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Does that mean the person asking is wrong for making themselves available? And especially when things that the one who sinned is unaware of. And remember, the sin may have continued consequences until penance is accomplished, not only Sacramental forgiveness.
Your insistence that a spouse has the right and practically the duty to question when someone doesn’t receive Communion makes me think you also believe every thought should be shared. I’m here to tell you that’s not how it works.
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Very wrong assumption. I certainly don’t want to know my wife’s every thought, or visa versa
 
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rcwitness said:
Does that mean the person asking is wrong for making themselves available?
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When it comes to what is said under the seal of Confession, absolutely. Hence “seal of Confession”.
rcwitness said:
And especially when things that the one who sinned is unaware of. And remember, the sin may have continued consequences until penance is accomplished, not only Sacramental forgiveness.
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Penance is between me, God, and the priest. Whatever that is I’ll do, of course, but it doesn’t necessarily involve my husband.
rcwitness said:
Very wrong assumption. I certainly don’t want to know my wife’s every thought, or visa versa
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Pretty hard to think otherwise when you think prying into why someone doesn’t take Communion is okay and that a spouse should be the first person we turn to over God.
 
Oh wow.

So I have fasted from Eucharist since my conversion. I will sometimes go weeks without receiving. It has always felt ‘right’ to me. I can’t explain why I started… but after so many stories of people feeling entitled to Eucharist or deliberately receiving in a state of sin I just felt called to sometimes abstain. So I do.

The Spirit prompts me when I should but often I abstain and say prayers for those who receive in sin.

Anyway thanks for this conversation. Now I know it’s a legitimate practice and not just me being crazy or ‘silly’. LOL
 
Part of penance is making restoration or satisfaction regarding damage our sin has done, to the best of our ability.

“The Roman Catholic Church uses the term “penance” in a number of separate but related instances: (a) as a moral virtue, (b) as a sacrament, (c) as acts of satisfaction, and (d) as those specific acts of satisfaction assigned the penitent by the confessor in the context of the sacrament. These have as in common the concept that he who sins must repent and as far as possible make reparation to Divine justice.”
 
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Part of penance is doing what you were given to do.

Not every sin I commit involves my other half in any way, shape, or form. I’ve never heard of being told to confess your sin to someone else in every single case. Not every act of penitence involves active restitution - especially to a disinterested third party! - and it’s pretty presumptuous for you to think it does.

And not every single sin has anything to do with my spouse, either. No idea why you think it does.
 
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Because you keep going on about restitution and making amends, and because the topic of this thread is about a wife asking why a husband chose not to receive.

The whole convo is about confession and wives and husbands. I don’t tell my husband every thought that crosses my mind and I don’t tell him what I talk about in confession. I don’t expect him to tell me everything he does, thinks, or says either. I don’t expect him to run to me for everything - I don’t want him to, actually, no more than he wants me to be dependent on him.
 
You might consider being quite direct with her. Let her know your decisions regarding whether or not to recieve communion and the reasons are quite private as is normal for any Catholic. Being married does not mean forfeiting privacy in spiritual matters. Even in marriage, certain boundaries still apply.

So, ask her about your perception. You might find that she was not judging you but merely confused. I know from my time spent with Anglican and Episcopal ministers that they do not share the same concerns about receiving communion in a state of grace as do Catholics. Their theologies of Eucharist and the economy of God’s grace are quite different that ours. Attending Mass and not receiving communion may seem quite strange to them.
 
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Well, I hope you’re at least referring to the FM 101-5-2 to organize your reports to one another. 😎
 
Do you believe not even sin that gives your spouse hardships and hurt is owed the respect of confessing and apologizing, love renewed and prayers offered?
 
rcwitness said:
Do you believe not even sin that gives your spouse hardships and hurt is owed the respect of confessing and apologizing, love renewed and prayers offered?
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No one denied that, and that wasn’t my point. My point is not every single thing involves him.
 
Then we agree that some things could be very personal sins against spouse or children, and so the spouse, being as intimately woven in life as they are, has a lot of reason to ask. Many sins can greatly affect, or already has affected them. And sins that don’t affect them, they don’t strictly need to know, yet can righteously ask in order to help.

Also, the one who is not receiving, should be willing to put any genuine worry to peace, since he is the one at variance with Jesus.
 
Masturbation is a MORTAL SIN. Someone who does this has chosen to make himself an enemy of God and must go immediately to confession to restore Sanctifying Grace again in his soul and enter into friendship with God.
 
The question is if it’s infidelity to your spouse, and if it’s the reason for refraining from Eucharist and asked, should one confess to spouse.
 
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