Wife becoming Protestant, I'm staying Catholic

[Curious_Seed]

What a nice post and Pablo truly seems appreciative.

I thank you.

 

[CMatt25]

Insist, recommend, suggest or invite your wife come to Mass every week with her family: you & your children even if she decides to attend a non-denominational church on her own.

There’s a big difference betwen “insist” and the other 3.

 

[cajunhillbilly]

Continuing Anglicans tend to be liturgical, in my experience. I’ve never seen an “evangelical” (that is, low-church or Reformed) continuing Anglican. Is your church liturgical? If so, it’s high-church (the distinction in “levels of high” being made between high-church and Anglo-Catholics). If it is not, it is low-church. (That is my understanding of “churchmanship”, at least.)

yes we are liturgical. Our church says it seeks to combine liturgical, evangelical and charismatic worship. But liturgy is definitely present and we even use incense

 

[ComeHome2Rome]

There’s a big difference betwen “insist” and the other 3.

Agreed! I listed "insist"first because as a stubborn woman, that’s the only option that would work for me and I list the other options as I trust that Pablo who knows his wife best will choose what he know would work for his wife, if he should decide to take that suggestion - that is to have his wife continue to join him & his kids at Mass even if she decides to attend a separate non~Catholic church on her own.

 

[Hesychios]

Yesterday, she took the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe off our bedroom’s wall. She said that we won’t have any more images other than Jesus and crosses in our home. That’s fine with me.

It doesn’t really matter.

Devotion to saints is essentially optional. The images are good to have as inspirations but not so important otherwise. Many people around the world have nothing on their walls and that doesn’t make them bad Catholic Christians. Some people don’t need them, some people don’t know how to properly use them, some people can’t afford them, some people don’t even have walls to hang them on.

Doing without the sacraments and Apostolic teachings is a problem.

The best approach is to fast and pray regularly and live a good Christian life and set a respectable example. It is attractive. The externals are not so important as the internals.

“Preach the Gospel every day, if necessary use words”

 

[Taylor_Davis]

Pray about it. I’m no expert at this, but try having her watch Mass on television, if that will help.

 

[lily20]

Well, speaking from personal experience, I have done bible studies from protestant religions that have helped me understand more fully the bible. The interpretation is another thing. But if she’s smart, over time she will discern what is really true and not, and maybe be the wiser. So this is not a terrible thing, to go to another Christian church for education and understanding. She will also learn indirectly how her faith is different, and will be indirectly asked to either validate her previous beliefs or reject them. So, it’s sort-of an unofficial test.

This can take a year or two before an actual perception is achieved, on how one wants to be. And this can change over time.

I would look at this from the perspective of personal growth for her, and keep in your prayers that she remains in Christ. I myself decided to return to the Catholic faith as my faith of choice. I still value and respect the other churches I have been to, and for the most part I have returned to them on occasion to offer players and blessings. I am Catholic though, and for some of them my beliefs pose a challenge, but others like that I’m willing to be a part of their community too.

I think the experience of going to different churches has overall strengthened my conviction that the Catholic Church is the one that I feel holds me most accountable to God’s love, and living in true selflessness (if that’s possible, but it holds me to the highest standards of virtues of the faith, and, therefore, is the most challenging). But I have had wonderful words of wisdom from Christians not in the Catholic faith, and they have a wonderful conviction that the Lord is true, and many do wonderful acts of service. So, I would not worry too much, and let it all pan out. Thank the Lord openly for this challenge, and use it as a way to say: how can my faith be strengthened? What are ways I need to grow?

Also, if arguments arise, remember this scripture wholeheartedly:

psalm 199:165
Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.

 

[cajunhillbilly]

I have found value in Protestant, Catholic and Anglican Bible studies. There is an agreement on probably 90% of our theology. We all believe in the Trinity, the full Humanity and Divinty of Jesus, the Hypostatic Union, the Atonement, and so on. We are not so far apart as people like to believe.

 

[Publisher]

I have found value in Protestant, Catholic and Anglican Bible studies. There is an agreement on probably 90% of our theology. We all believe in the Trinity, the full Humanity and Divinty of Jesus, the Hypostatic Union, the Atonement, and so on. **We are not so far apart as people like to believe./**QUOTE]

We never are that far apart except in our own estimations…we “enjoy” our separateness…that’s part and parcel of the result of “the fall”…

 

[Publisher]

I have found value in Protestant, Catholic and Anglican Bible studies. There is an agreement on probably 90% of our theology. We all believe in the Trinity, the full Humanity and Divinty of Jesus, the Hypostatic Union, the Atonement, and so on. We are not so far apart as people like to believe.

We never are that far apart except in our own estimations…we “enjoy” our separateness…that’s part and parcel of the result of “the fall”…

 

[Credo_ergo_sum]

To the OP

Did she remove the images because she’s an iconoclast? Does she see it as idolatry or something similiar? Let her read the *‘Apologia against those who decry the Holy Images’ *of St. John of Damascus, an eight-century doctor of the church, who destroyed all errors of Byzantine iconoclasm that modern-day “Evangelicals” only repeat.

Read it here

Besides, the Seventh Ecumenical Council decreed:
7th Ecumenical Council:

The holy Synod cried out: So we all believe, we all are so minded, we all give our consent and have signed. This is the faith of the Apostles, this is the faith of the orthodox, this is the faith which hath made firm the whole world. Believing in one God, to be celebrated in Trinity, we salute the honourable images! Those who do not so hold, let them be anathema. Those who do not thus think, let them be driven far away from the Church. For we follow the most ancient legislation of the Catholic Church. We keep the laws of the Fathers. We anathematize those who add anything to or take anything away from the Catholic Church. We anathematize the introduced novelty of the revilers of Christians. We salute the venerable images. We place under anathema those who do not do this. Anathema to them who presume to apply to the venerable images the things said in Holy Scripture about idols. Anathema to those who do not salute the holy and venerable images. Anathema to those who call the sacred images idols. Anathema to those who say that Christians resort to the sacred images as to gods. Anathema to those who say that any other delivered us from idols except Christ our God. Anathema to those who dare to say that at any time the Catholic Church received idols.

And if she ‘wants to read the bible only’ ask her who first said that there were 27 books in the NT (St. Athanasius the Great, *Archbishop *of Alexandria in the 4th century), who first decided to drop the deuterocanon and when (pharisees in the late first-early second century).

 

[pabloSD]

I have found value in Protestant, Catholic and Anglican Bible studies. There is an agreement on probably 90% of our theology. We all believe in the Trinity, the full Humanity and Divinty of Jesus, the Hypostatic Union, the Atonement, and so on. We are not so far apart as people like to believe.

I completely agree with you! The common beliefs far outweigh the differences. I think that we put so much emphasis in what separates us, instead of focusin on what unites us in Christ.

Many churches and denominations, I believe, let politics get in the way, and that’s when the fighting and name-calling beings… Intolerance…

 

[rhiannonh]

You’ve had lots and lots of advice

The best is that

Please don’t force her to do anything - that will only serve to make her stubborn in her request. It be hard for you for the time being, but simply go along with it and show an interest in what she is doing and learning. Meet her half way in her journey. She may continue faithful to her newly found religion or your actions and love may well show her what she may be missing? At least she is still believing in God and whilst it may be a hard pill to swallow that she has turned away from the Roman Catholic Church, she is still with God, whatever anyone here might interrpret it as, take comfort in that she is still with God.

Your actions will confirm any words you share with her. Live the Gospel by your actions. Not loud in her face, but softly softly. Gently as Jesus taught us to do. “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Try not to worry about the children. They will see both sides. Protestant or Roman Catholic. The actions between the both of you will help the children see which way to be. I know many Roman Catholic posters think being Protestant is awful and bad. It really isn’t because they believe in God too. I know it isn’t what you want for yourself right now and you want her to be with you. But she is with you, if you give her that space to be her and follow Jesus Christ. Protestants aren’t evil you know you guys. Its not like going over to the devil at all. And don’t give me that stuff about me being Anglican so I wouldn’t know because thats rubbish as we all do know.

It hard but you are just going to have to meet her half way on this because you are in marriage which means both of you. You aren’t in control of her and neither is she in control of you. She isn’t denying your faith altogether. It is something you are going to have to work out between you and be more peaceful for you both if you give her that space to explore her faith.

Am sorry if I offended any hard Roman Catholics here protestants aren’t evil.

 

[stanczyk]

You’ve had lots and lots of advice

The best is that

Please don’t force her to do anything - that will only serve to make her stubborn in her request. It be hard for you for the time being, but simply go along with it and show an interest in what she is doing and learning. Meet her half way in her journey. She may continue faithful to her newly found religion or your actions and love may well show her what she may be missing? At least she is still believing in God and whilst it may be a hard pill to swallow that she has turned away from the Roman Catholic Church, she is still with God, whatever anyone here might interrpret it as, take comfort in that she is still with God.

Your actions will confirm any words you share with her. Live the Gospel by your actions. Not loud in her face, but softly softly. Gently as Jesus taught us to do. “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Try not to worry about the children. They will see both sides. Protestant or Roman Catholic. The actions between the both of you will help the children see which way to be. I know many Roman Catholic posters think being Protestant is awful and bad. It really isn’t because they believe in God too. I know it isn’t what you want for yourself right now and you want her to be with you. But she is with you, if you give her that space to be her and follow Jesus Christ. Protestants aren’t evil you know you guys. Its not like going over to the devil at all. And don’t give me that stuff about me being Anglican so I wouldn’t know because thats rubbish as we all do know.

It hard but you are just going to have to meet her half way on this because you are in marriage which means both of you. You aren’t in control of her and neither is she in control of you. She isn’t denying your faith altogether. It is something you are going to have to work out between you and be more peaceful for you both if you give her that space to explore her faith.

Am sorry if I offended any hard Roman Catholics here protestants aren’t evil.

OP would be well advised to disregard this post. A husband cannot control a wife who wants to leave the Church, but he can sure try to persuade her. At a minimum a Catholic parent must do everything in their power to ensure their children have a Catholic upbringing.

 

[Kristin234]

At a minimum a Catholic parent must do everything in their power to ensure their children have a Catholic upbringing.

Yes, I agree that since it is in the Catholic faith to raise his kids Catholic he should try to, but I read some people saying not to allow the children to go to church with their mother and to take them only to the Catholic Church, but isn’t forcing his wife to allow the children to go to a Catholic Church also damaging? On the other hand, if she agrees then by all means take them!

I think people are forgetting his wife is also the parent of his children. She also has a say on how to raise her kids.

I keep reading people telling the op to “do this” “do that” but that isn’t a marriage. All this can be more damaging than anything.

Telling a mother she cannot have a say in her child’s life, even when it comes to their faith, can cause a lot of hurt and bitterness.

The op must approach this subject without being biased, with love, and with patience. Trying to get your way in one thing can result in a damaged relationship.

 

[mskejj]

My wife has decided to go to a non-denominational Christian center. She says she wants to focus on reading the Bible only.

Yesterday, she took the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe off our bedroom’s wall. She said that we won’t have any more images other than Jesus and crosses in our home. That’s fine with me.

But what worries me is our children. I know I have a duty to raise them Catholic, because we’re a craddle Catholic family. The children are baptized, we were married in the Church. All of our family heritage and history is Catholic.

How have you dealt with a spouse who left the Church, and how are you raising your small children?
Thanks!
Pablo

I am not sure if anyone has mentioned this…BUT FIND THE NEAREST CATHOLIC CHURCH THAT OFFERS THE BIBLE STUDY ON THE GREAT ADVENTURE BIBLE TIMELINE and you both sign up to take it! It is by Jeff Cavins and will take you through the 14 historical books of the Bible and you will see the New Testament hidden in the Old Testament and the Old Testament revealed in the New Testament. It will open your eyes and help you understand so many of the things we do in the Catholic Church today. It is how the Early church Fathers read the BIble and the earliest Jewish Christians. It will change your life. If you can’t find a church offering it …BUY it and do the study together in your home. It will be worth every penny. And then you can “TEACH YOUR CHILDREN” …which you will see over and over is what the Israelites failed to do.

Here is a link to find a bible study near you biblestudyforcatholics.com/map/studies

Here is the link if you need to purchase some of the material on your own.

ascensionpress.com/shop/scripts/prodView.asp?idproduct=18

If she is interested in learning the Bible, this course will be a perfect and CATHOLIC way to start! Good luck!

 

[forhim221]

The bible was not written by the Catholic Church. This is false doctrine.

It is on the other hand it is the inspired Word of God for all to receive freely. This woman is not lost because she doesn’t want to be a Catholic. The Catholic Church cannot save. The Protestant church cannot save. Only Jesus saves.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (Romans 10:9)

There is too much needless religion in the world controlling people’s lives. People don’t need religion. People need Jesus.*

All the worlds religions think they are the true religion. Everyone thinks their church is the true church and all others are false. Jesus did not come into this world to promote or establish another religion. Jesus does not need a religion. He chose simple people to carry out his task to spread His gospel.

Nothing against being religious or being member of a church and actively evolved but we must be first Christians. Too many denominations including the Catholic church that twist the words of the gospel to give the impression that their church system is the only way to heaven. There is only one way to Heaven; through Jesus Christ. He is the bridge between God and man. Not religion, not Catholic, not Protestant.*

We need to let go of everything we believe, ask Jesus to forgiveus our sins that separate us from Him and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us to do God’s will. Don’t think religion, thinking as men think. Think Jesus, as God thinks.*

How does God think? Read the bible. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you guidance for your life. If your beliefs cause division in your family that’s not necessarily a bad thing but the result of being a believer in Him.*

Mathew 10:34, Jesus says:
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.*

May we humble ourselves to repentance; dying to ourselves, our ways, our religion, our tradition, and turn to Jesus Christ. I pray the Holy Spirit will guide us into all truth and lead us to the Father’s will for our lives. Forgive us of the hardness of our hearts that has separated us from You Lord. Forgive us of this sin and all other sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.*

Jesus, my Savior! You are awesome.

 

[John3_1_7]

I completely agree with you! The common beliefs far outweigh the differences. I think that we put so much emphasis in what separates us, instead of focusin on what unites us in Christ.

Many churches and denominations, I believe, let politics get in the way, and that’s when the fighting and name-calling beings… Intolerance…

AMEN and AMEN. It’s all about knowing Christ and walking in His will for you…The name on the church is irrelevant compared to the heart trusting in Christ…

 

[rhiannonh]

OP would be well advised to disregard this post. A husband cannot control a wife who wants to leave the Church, but he can sure try to persuade her. At a minimum a Catholic parent must do everything in their power to ensure their children have a Catholic upbringing.

Opening poster can make their own minds up without unhelpful interference posts like from yourself. And be very careful how you use the word Catholic, bearing in mind it means universal church. I think you a lot to learn and I wish people would stop abusing the use of Catholic to mean Roman Catholic when they say Catholic… they show they do not know what they are talking about and the wife could well be going to a catholic protestant church so the children will see Catholic from both sides and the actions will show which is best for them… actions speak louder than any words though be good if the two meet up

 

[Captain_America]

My wife has decided to go to a non-denominational Christian center. She says she wants to focus on reading the Bible only.

Yesterday, she took the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe off our bedroom’s wall. She said that we won’t have any more images other than Jesus and crosses in our home. That’s fine with me.

But what worries me is our children. I know I have a duty to raise them Catholic, because we’re a craddle Catholic family. The children are baptized, we were married in the Church. All of our family heritage and history is Catholic.

How have you dealt with a spouse who left the Church, and how are you raising your small children?
Thanks!
Pablo

Oh Pablo, that’s so sad, reading that she took off the picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe! That’s hard to hear.

Have your priest point out how much the Bible is used by the church; ask the guy over for dinner.