So you want Don to be prepared for God to desert his marriage and play no part in healing the marriage. The result has got to be in accordance with your scenario. Your scenario be done.No. I want him to be prepared. Period. Obviously the wife is unstable. She has repeatedly cheated on him. You make it seem like that it’s uncommon occurance for a cheating husband/wife to leave their faithful spouse for someone they’ve “fallen” for…It isn’t.
If I wanted to give bad advice I would say divorce her. Another example of bad advice would be to trust her no matter what. I want him to work on his marriage, but protect his kids and his assets in the case it were to happen. An example of having someone make decisions based in fear would be telling a husband in a happy faithful marriage to get legal protection just in case his wife decided to cheat on him and take him to the cleaners. There’s a difference between fear and common sense over a very plausible reality. Just because I bring up the scenario of a common reality for those who have suffered infidelity, doesn’t mean I’m hoping that the reality to take place. I am NOT advocating for the loss of this man’s marriage. I don’t want him to bury his head in the sand either though. That wouldn’t 't be good advice either…
Where did I say that? You are twisting my words, and then you go in for a personal attack. You don’t know me from Adam and you already have my faith life figured out, don’t you? I have a deep faith in God, and I don’t have to defend it to you…God bless you. Moving on…So you want Don to be prepared for God to desert his marriage and play no part in healing the marriage. The result has got to be in accordance with your scenario. Your scenario be done.
You don’t have much faith in God really. Do you?
Neither do you know Don and his wife from Adam and Eve, but you it appears you have what will happen next all mapped out and advise accordingly. You say you pray. That’s good,Where did I say that? You are twisting my words, and then you go in for a personal attack. You don’t know me from Adam and you already have my faith life figured out, don’t you? I have a deep faith in God, and I don’t have to defend it to you…God bless you. Moving on…
To the OP:
I’m praying for the success of your marriage, and I hope you find healing. I’ll be saying a rosary for your family tonight. I think you are very smart in your decision to protect yourself by seeing an attorney and to know what your rights are. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that! Your kids are innocent victims as well, and deserve to have you informed and steady for their sake. I’m praying for you, sir…
You apparently had Don figured out when you speculated that he may have been worldly in his pursuit of providing. You speculated that he may have been emotionally absent to his wife. So apparently you mapped out that the cheating could have been due to his lack of attention. Pot calling the kettle black?Neither do you know Don and his wife from Adam and Eve, but you it appears you have what will happen next all mapped out and advise accordingly. You say you pray. That’s good,
Now perhaps you would like to explain how a marriage that is Christ centred can fail?
The marriage will be Christ centred if they start going to mass and communion more often. They should pray together. The Holy Spirit will be working in their lives. You can have what you are praying for answered. Can’t you?
Hello Evania,You apparently had Don figured out when you speculated that he may have been worldly in his pursuit of providing. You speculated that he may have been emotionally absent to his wife. So apparently you mapped out that the cheating could have been due to his lack of attention. Pot calling the kettle black?
Your posts are beyond nonsensical because you are implying that I don’t agree with them attending Mass together or the frequent reception of communion simply because I said that he should protect himself and his kids in case she doesn’t want to work anything out. That would be awesome if she would do what you are suggesting; however the OP says that she is faulting him for her having sex with multiple men, to the point of punching him in the face! So while your suggestion is good that they should attend Mass together, it doesn’t sound like she’s at the point of doing that right now considering she’s blaming him for her sexual sins. Now what’s your suggestion? Should he force her to go with him? Pull her hair? Lock her in the confessional until she tells the priest she’s sorry? He cannot force her to do any of the things you suggested. It would be great if she did them, and maybe she might in the future as I’m praying she will, but the OP has suggested that in the meantime, things have gone from bad to worse. Hence is why he is going to see an attorney.
Now if you want to say anything more, quit addressing me and address the man who is asking for advice.
God Bless.
You keep saying that I presume to know Don’s wife just because I’m basing my advice on what the OP stated in his posts. You state that there could be more than what Don is saying. I never said that there wasn’t. Then in the next breath, you presume to know all about Don, based on what his wife said when he found out about her cheating. Couldn’t there be more to the story there as well? Of course! And as there could be more of the story, he is entitled to know his rights. Don 's wife doesn’t need to know that he went to an attorney. If he chooses to tell her, that will be the only way she will find out. Usually there is a free consultation where you learn your rights. It’s not like a lawyer is going to announce it to her. So your scenario of her finding out about him protecting himself based on of her bad actions is your version of a “what if scenario”.Hello Evania,
Don has stated that his wife blames him. Why does she do that? Why did she feel the need to look elsewhere? We live in worldly society today and it is all too common for people to become preoccupied with worldly things and provide on that level. There is a true saying, “A family that prays together stays together.”
Don wants to rescue his marriage. That means Don needs to make a step closer to his wife. If he sees a lawyer he will be pushing her away. That is how she will read it. If she reads it that way then she might just clear off and take the children with her.
If Don really loves his wife then he must find it in his heart to forgive her.
Of course Don can’t force his wife to do anything. I am not going to judge her. I am not going to pretend I know her. She might want the marriage too deep down. She did marry him after all.
What colour is his wife’s hair? You have no idea but presume you know her. You don’t.
There is far more to this than Don has been able to say. His wife has had no say. They need to see a priest together and take things from there.
At this time Don hurts and it in that hurting that things have been getting worse. He is emotional. He needs to give that hurting to Jesus.
Hello Evania,You keep saying that I presume to know Don’s wife just because I’m basing my advice on what the OP stated in his posts. You state that there could be more than what Don is saying. I never said that there wasn’t. Then in the next breath, you presume to know all about Don, based on what his wife said when he found out about her cheating. Couldn’t there be more to the story there as well? Of course! And as there could be more of the story, he is entitled to know his rights. Don 's wife doesn’t need to know that he went to an attorney. If he chooses to tell her, that will be the only way she will find out. Usually there is a free consultation where you learn your rights. It’s not like a lawyer is going to announce it to her. So your scenario of her finding out about him protecting himself based on of her bad actions is your version of a “what if scenario”.
Either way, it sounds like Don is going to see an attorney next Friday. (Which is smart). He also said that he is going to counseling, is praying the rosary each night, and is trying to save his marriage. (That’s smart too!).
Now, I have repeatedly asked you to stop addressing me looking to pick an argument. You have twisted my words and even questioned my faith in God, even though I gave no faulty advice. I will like to remind you that such behavior is against forum rules. If you persist, I will flag your comments, so please direct any further replies to the OP. Fighting between two posters detracts from the poster’s thread, and could cause it to be closed down. If the OP wanted to start a debate, he would have posed a question with that purpose in mind. Instead, he asked for advice…You shared yours, and I shared mine. As a grown man, he will prayerfully do what he sees as best.
Hello Don,Please do not argue over my situation. I have only signed up on this website because I assumed I would get support from a Christian standpoint.
My wife and I had a long talk last night. We still agree we need councliling and I may decide to cancel the appointment with the lawyer.
She has expressed to me that I have pushed her away and neglected her as a wife. While I do not 100% agree with her she does make valid points as well. I may have taken some things for granted.
I still do not believe what she did was the right course of action but in a strange way I feel wanting her more than ever and the desire to make things work for us and the children. My only hope is that this never happens again.
I thank you all for the prayers.
I read somewhere that this response is typical when a man feels like he is competing with other men over a mate. Its a biological thing.Please do not argue over my situation. I have only signed up on this website because I assumed I would get support from a Christian standpoint.
My wife and I had a long talk last night. We still agree we need councliling and I may decide to cancel the appointment with the lawyer.
She has expressed to me that I have pushed her away and neglected her as a wife. While I do not 100% agree with her she does make valid points as well. I may have taken some things for granted.
I still do not believe what she did was the right course of action but in a strange way I feel wanting her more than ever and the desire to make things work for us and the children. My only hope is that this never happens again.
I thank you all for the prayers.
Doctors are not required till you are sick.Well, proper medical history for starters.
Edited to add: Joseph also knew he was not Jesus’s biological father.
Please, if you really want to help your marriage. Follow up with my first post.Can I make a suggestion? I have done much research on marriage and relationships. The best source (besides God himself) is this organization called, “Celebrating Men Satisfying Women.” She goes in depth about the differences between men and women, our needs, how they compliment and how they conflict. She gives you tools to have the most satisfying relationship where both parties are communicating in ways that work and getting their needs met. The founder, Allison Armstrong, has transformed the way I relate to the opposite sex, my husband is truly grateful! I learned how my husband is my hero, wants to be my hero, and I started responding accordingly.
Please, do yourself a favor, and check it out. If possible, go to her retreat. Here is a link:
understandmen.com/men/index.html
look for, “Understanding Women: unlock the mystery”
If you could get your wife to attend the retreat, even better. Turn your wife on to this site too.