Wife is 7 weeks pregnant, but unable to have sex still with a subchorionic hematoma

[TheIttyBitty]

The only assumption I made is that in Catholicism, no intercourse means no temptation as well. To hint, tease, tempt, is to cause lustful thoughts that are not able to be acted upon by one or both, and is uncharitable to that end, to one or both parties.

You could do well to educate yourself on what you can and can’t do, should and shouldn’t do, and understand where people come from in their responses. The question being what can you do for sex, and the true Catholic answer is not much. You can be intimate if it wouldn’t generally lead to sex(cuddles, foot rubs, massage back, etc) but not actual foreplay. I am sorry that you have been put in this position, but you are expecting us to give you permission, and I don’t think any of us have that kind of authority.

Ie
A: Can I do xyz?
B: No.
A: Uncharitable!
B: Actually, xyz is uncharitable to one or both spouses.
A: Oh.

 

[Miiiils]

From the USCCB:

“Each and every sexual act in a marriage needs to be open to the possibility of conceiving a child.”

So, oral and anal sex/stimulation are out.

 

[Agnus-Dei]

If an act has already resulted in conception and pregnancy, another completed act would not add additional pregnancies. (Miracle not withstanding)
(That word doesn’t look right even spelled correctly)
I believe I might need to mute this thread, but will respond to PM if needed.
Dominus vobiscum

 

[mythbuster1]

You can kiss her, but avoid arousal given that you cannot at this time consummate your union. The two of you should offer up this suffering and privation for the sake of the holy souls in Purgatory; they will not forget your favors when they get to Heaven.

 

[umamibella]

I understand it’s serious, hence the question. It’s a mutual question not just “a male thing” so the judgement really needs to stop. Please just answer the question. We’ve avoided sex due to the condition, our question is if it’s ok to do other things together since sex is out. Seems like you looked over that just to say don’t be selfish. I’d like an honest answer to the question, not someone judging people they don’t know.

My response is discuss this entire situation with your Priest. We cannot give advice according to CAF rules and this is a serious situation.
If she is on bed rest, she needs just that, rest.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and prayers for its successful continuation.

 

[Margaret_Ann]

Imo it doesn’t make sense to have sex if the wife is pregnant.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

My question is since she’s unable to have sex normally due to the risk and the condition, is there anything else we can do to still be intimate. Like are we allowed to have her do other things to me since she’s unable to have normal sex, as long as we are both on board with things for the right reasons?

This isn’t the place for these types of questions. You shouldn’t put your conscience into the hands of internet strangers, Catholic or not. I think you are finding that out now.

 

[umamibella]

This isn’t the place for these types of questions. You shouldn’t put your conscience into the hands of internet strangers, Catholic or not. I think you are finding that out now.

These are wise words.

 

[Annie]

What is actually happening is that the will of God, Who designed us, is transmitted through the members of the hierarchy.

When I see the emotional, physical, and social devastation caused by the sexual revolt, I can understand why He made those decisions.

People probably would not put rocks in their blenders. Why not? Because it is not made for rocks and using it for grinding rocks would probably break it.

In the same way, we humans are not really made for “free love,” truly a double sophism.

 

[PaulinVA]

There will be (many) times during your marriage when sex is not possible.

When my wife was going through menopause, we didn’t have sex for over a year. We didn’t “cheat”, either. It’s just the way it is. Doesn’t matter what the reason is. It’s just a thing.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

There will be (many) times during your marriage when sex is not possible.

^^ This. There are many couples where a health condition precludes the parties from having sex for months or even indefinitely. You don’t get a free pass to go take care of your “needs” in some other way. They aren’t “needs” anyway. We “need” air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink, and adequate shelter and clothing to protect us from the elements. We “need” to be able to eliminate wastes and sleep. If we don’t do these things, we will die. Nobody ever died from not having sexual relations.

 

[PaulinVA]

I’m old enough to remember the original Star Trek.

Remember the episode where Spock is all consumed about returning to Vulcan to mate? That’s how I describe testosterone in the young male. Yes, it can be mastered, but it’s not easy.

Now that I’m older, and those levels have gone down, I feel much better every day.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I can’t help but feel this is what God would like all of us, male or female, old or young, to achieve.

Otherwise you’re not in charge of your own life, your sex drive is in charge.

Granted it’s a bigger cross for some people to carry than others, due to all kinds of factors like biology, age, and personality.

 

[1ke]

ive always thought the church has no business in our bedrooms.

There is no part of our lives exempt from God’s law. Our bodies are not our own. They were purchased with a price. God created us, he designed the function and purpose for our sexual faculties. When we misuse God’s gift of sexuality we offend God and harm ourselves and others.

Pleasure is not the purpose of sexual intimacy with our spouse, it is a byproduct of it. It is not something to be sought unto itself, it is not an end.

the thought of old celibate men making rules for sex is absurd to me,sorry everyone.

You’ve mistaken God’s law for “rules”. The teaching on sexual intimacy is not “made up” by men or women. The Church teaches what is divinely revealed. She doesn’t make it up.

This is not a “rule”, a church discipline, such as when we must fast or what color vestments the priest wears on certain days, nor even a discipline like whether married men can become priests. It is a doctrine, which means it is part of divine revelation, passed down and preserved through Sacred Tradition— the Magisterium— and unchanging.

 

[1ke]

It’s easy to forget that we are ALL called to chastity in our state in life, including the married.

Sometimes married people must be continent, sometimes they can engage in sexual intimacy, but at all times they must be chaste.