Wife is always right?

[MomaMary8]

So, have you offered to set up a spreadsheet? Or have you just been passively saying “yes dear” and not helping her? This can go both ways. Strong women rarely like week men who agree with out offering sound advice or thoughtful help.

In reality, $3,000 is a small fee to start up a business. You don’t mention your financial situation, so I have no idea if this money is coming from your food budget or your rainy day budget. What I do know is that when my husband started his business it cost significantly more than $3,000 and I did more than say “yes dear.” I said “Go for it dear, how can I help?” I listened to his struggles, and encouraged him everyday to keep going. I kept my mouth shut when I wasn’t able to buy food for the kids and tightened every budget I could. It was a heck of a year and it was worth it. I trusted him and his abilities.

I can see how you are finding things difficult with your wife, if you think your response is supposed to be a simple “yes, dear.” That’s one of the most infuriating responses a non-listening spouse can give.

just my :twocents:

 

[Em_in_FL]

Thanks, but what do you think about “the wife is always right?”

No one is “always right”… that’s nonsense.

I agree with others that it sounds like a communication issue spilling into finances. Communication takes at least 2 people, so you BOTH need to work TOGETHER to open the lines of communication.

 

[Brenda_V]

I don’t agree with the wife is always right, and I’m female. But the husband isn’t always right either. All humans make mistakes and are wrong about one thing or another.

As far as the spreadsheet goes, I would highly suggest helping her start one. If she’s doing this as a business, she needs to be keeping track of income or lack there of for tax purposes. If you’re found out that you’re running a business without paying taxes on it, you can get in trouble with the IRS. So it isn’t only about seeing if she’s making money, it’s also about being responsible.

But I would suggest talking with her about it. I’m a believer that the male is the head of the household, and as such, you should be able to talk with her about things like this.

I do agree with a spreadsheet. I have an at home business and it is one that agrees with the State to pay any State taxes so we don’t have to figure that in but, I also charge my customers the tax. I don’t always keep up the spreadsheet but do sit down once a year and take my invoices of what was ordered and who I sold it to and fill it in so we can do the taxes. Now, if you don’t make a certain amount, you don’t have to claim it.

Another thing to keep in mind is that any business requires you to spend money to make money, can’t say that $3000.00 is a good amount in a home based business or not. I am sure I spend that much in a year on my business but mostly on product I buy for myself and this is the first year in a longtime where I have had to take from the budget to pay for some of that product. Of course, if this trend continues I will not be in this business for much longer .

As to “the wife is always right” really is like someone said, a cute saying on a coffee mug, there are times when you have to stand up for what is right - again, I don’t know if this really is such a time, your wife must have invoices to look at and see what has been spent on the business vs. what has actually come in.

Brenda V.

 

[garyr]

Bible = Proverbs 19:14 . . " A Prudent wife is from the Lord " . . .

I’m married too; 'nuff said . . . .

 

[chevalier]

Heh, was going to say this but forgot. Point remains that saying what one doesn’t believe to be true is not right. White lies are not right. Sure, we aren’t going to get scrupulous over whatever someone blurted as answer when surprised, but a, “yes, you are right,” when what we really think is, “no, you’re dead wrong,” contradicts the principle of being truthful in our communication.

 

[dulcissima]

Heh, was going to say this but forgot. Point remains that saying what one doesn’t believe to be true is not right. White lies are not right. Sure, we aren’t going to get scrupulous over whatever someone blurted as answer when surprised, but a, “yes, you are right,” when what we really think is, “no, you’re dead wrong,” contradicts the principle of being truthful in our communication.

When it’s appropriate though, you can always say “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, but if it’s what you want to do, go ahead and give it a try.” For the small stuff, it’s ok to let your spouse find out for themselves that they were wrong…or prove to you that they were right.

 

[Erich]

Perhaps many of us have have heard of the adage, “Happy wife=happy life.”

I also heard this one:

“If a man speaks in a forest and there’s no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?”

 

[chevalier]

When it’s appropriate though, you can always say “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, but if it’s what you want to do, go ahead and give it a try.” For the small stuff, it’s ok to let your spouse find out for themselves that they were wrong…or prove to you that they were right.

Yeah, as long as contrfactual information isn’t being provided. However, in some cases, that kind of communication could be problematic. I doubt I would ever be one to utter those words. For example, I have little respect for the argument that someone wants something, nor I would I like being seen as giving the green light when I’m not. Matter of principle. Oh, and I *can *handle the opposition. Bring it on.

 

[garyr]

Thanks, but what do you think about “the wife is always right?”

Yeah, that’s what ADAM thought . . . and look at the trouble that caused … …

.

 

[yellowdaisy]

OK, I admit it, I am a Wife Who Has Trouble Being Wrong. I’ve been married seven years to a wonderful and very patient man, who occasionally loses his patience with me.

I hate not getting the last word. I hate losing an argument. I have a HARD time admitting I made a mistake. These are CHARACTER FLAWS OF MINE!

My husband, in recent years, has started holding me more accountable for my behvaior, by approaching me during a time we’re both happy, and discussing things he feels are not going well.

For example-- when we were first married, I was 19 years old and TERRIBLE at managing money. We were constantly behind and living above our means. I dug us into some pretty substantial debt-- by not paying things on time or forgetting to pay them. (I wasnt out shopping, we were just on a shoestring b udget and I should have accepted someone elses advice!). It took probably three years before I would listen to my hsuband that my system was bad. He COULD have just taken over, but I would have really resented that.

What changed about our relationship was ME. I felt motivated to practice a little humility and that has DRASTICALLY improved both the quality of my marriage, and the amount of money in my checking account at any given time

It’s really hard to make another person see their character flaws, but it sounds like your wife definately has one or two things she could be working on. I recommend approaching her about these issues at time when you both are calm-- say after dinner one night. You HAVE to be equal players in the big decisions!!!

Living by the philosophy “The Wife Is ALways Right” does you both a disservice!

 

[Sparki777]

I think in the specific example of the jewelry business, it sounds like you might have more business sense than your wife does, so when you show support, you should show it that way.

As in, “I want to help you be a success at this, so why don’t I handle all the bookkeeping so you can focus on the creative and selling parts of your jewelry business?”

Or, “There’s a $50 seminar on running your own successful business next weekend at the convention center, and I bought you a ticket.”

Or, “I heard about this great home business book, so I checked it out of the library. Let’s read it together and see what we can do to help your business turn a higher profit.”

Or, “I set up an eBay account for you so you can expand your customer base.”

All of these are gentle ways to point out where she needs help, but they are still supportive.

My husband ran an in-home business for several years (before he had suffered a brain injury when he was hit by an armored truck). It was a lot more expensive to start up than your wife’s business, and we were not even middle-class income at the time, but we made a list of everything he needed, set priorities and gathered everything creatively (salvage sales, eBay, garage sales, even). When it got up and running, I did what I could to help bring in customers but stayed out of day-to-day operations. We hired an accountant to do books once a year because neither one of us could do more than the minimum. Some years it was more profitable than others, but I’ll tell you, the small successes he had were so good for his SOUL.

After his brain injury, he had to give up the business. He’s a lot better – he can and does have a job now, but he can’t do the type of work he used to do with his home business. I would give almost anything to return to the days when his brain worked well enough for him to keep that thing going, even if it wasn’t terribly lucrative.

I don’t know why your wife WANTS to do this jewelry thing, but if it’s helping her feel like she’s growing as a person or making the world a more beautiful place or helping with the family income, it might be important enough that you should find a way to help her succeed.