Wife is ok with me using condoms

[csidelinger]

My wife has complications due to diabetes, so in order to prevent her from getting pregnant we have not engaged in sex, however she feels that it’s not a sin for me to use condoms during infertile times to have sex. If I do am I comitting a mortal sin. She won’t consider NFP.

 

[on_the_hill]

I think you’re looking for permission.
You won’t get it here. Your best bet is to talk to your priest and explain it to him and listen to what he has to tell you. There’s still a 99% change you won’t get permission, but hopefully you’ll have a better understanding.

 

[1ke]

however she feels that it’s not a sin for me to use condoms during infertile times to have sex.

What she “feels” and what is objectively true are not the same thing.

Contraception is intrinsically disordered. That means it is always wrong. Always grave matter against the sixth commandment.

If I do am I comitting a mortal sin

Correct.

She won’t consider NFP.

Weird. How would she know when the “infertile time” is if she isn’t tracking her fertility.

I am sorry you are experiencing this. You are correct that you cannot contracept.

 

[1ke]

There’s still a 99% change you won’t get permission,

There is a 100% chance he won’t get permission because no such permission is possible.

Any priest who gives such advice is giving advice in contradiction to Church teaching and will be accountable for his own gravely wrong actions. And the OP already knows that contraception is wrong.

 

[on_the_hill]

on_the_hill:

There’s still a 99% change you won’t get permission,

There is a 100% chance he won’t get permission because no such permission is possible.

Any priest who gives such advice is giving advice in contradiction to Church teaching and will be accountable for his own gravely wrong actions. And the OP already knows that contraception is wrong.

Yeah, but there’s always a chance he’ll hear something that will maybe lead to a misunderstanding.

 

[IdaCatholic]

You cant use condoms. Period. To do so would put your soul in mortal danger.

 

[Psalm30]

I think you’re looking for permission.
You won’t get it here. Your best bet is to talk to your priest and explain it to him and listen to what he has to tell you. There’s still a 99% change you won’t get permission, but hopefully you’ll have a better understanding.

Priests don’t have the authority to give people permission to commit a sin.

 

[csidelinger]

Others on this site have guided that if the spouse is for ABC then it would not be a sin for the one who does not approve. IM NOT LOOKING FOR PERMISSION JUST LOOKING FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE I DO SOMETHING THAT IS MORALLY WRONG!

 

[Fauken]

Others on this site have guided that if the spouse is for ABC then it would not be a sin for the one who does not approve. IM NOT LOOKING FOR PERMISSION JUST LOOKING FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE I DO SOMETHING THAT IS MORALLY WRONG!

Those users are wrong. ABC is intrinsically evil, which means there is no circumstance where it is acceptable to use to prevent pregnancy.

^This

 

[Psalm30]

Others on this site have guided that if the spouse is for ABC then it would not be a sin for the one who does not approve. IM NOT LOOKING FOR PERMISSION JUST LOOKING FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE I DO SOMETHING THAT IS MORALLY WRONG!

@edward_george1 @acanonlawyer

Could you respond to this please?

 

[1ke]

Others on this site have guided that if the spouse is for ABC then it would not be a sin for the one who does not approve

You’ve misunderstood.

The Vademecum for Confessors guides priests hearing confessions of the NON-contracepting spouse who has a spouse contracepting against their will. The NON-contracepting spouse may not be culpable for the sin of the contracepting spouse and may engage in intercourse in some situations.

See:
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/p...s/rc_pc_family_doc_12021997_vademecum_en.html

You present an entirely different situation. Your wife wants YOU to contracept. In which case, if you did, you would NOT be an innocent/passive party to the contraception.

 

[1ke]

IM NOT LOOKING FOR PERMISSION JUST LOOKING FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE I DO SOMETHING THAT IS MORALLY WRONG!

God bless you for your desire to do what is right in the sight of God.

 

[1ke]

From the Vademecum for Confessors:

1. Special difficulties are presented by cases of cooperation in the sin of a spouse who voluntarily renders the unitive act infecund. In the first place, it is necessary to distinguish cooperation in the proper sense, from violence or unjust imposition on the part of one of the spouses, which the other spouse in fact cannot resist. This cooperation can be licit when the three following conditions are jointly met:

when the action of the cooperating spouse is not already illicit in itself;

when proportionally grave reasons exist for cooperating in the sin of the other spouse;

when one is seeking to help the other spouse to desist from such conduct (patiently, with prayer, charity and dialogue; although not necessarily in that moment, nor on every single occasion).

1. Furthermore, it is necessary to carefully evaluate the question of cooperation in evil when recourse is made to means which can have an abortifacient effect.

 

[on_the_hill]

on_the_hill:

I think you’re looking for permission.
You won’t get it here. Your best bet is to talk to your priest and explain it to him and listen to what he has to tell you. There’s still a 99% change you won’t get permission, but hopefully you’ll have a better understanding.

Priests don’t have the authority to give people permission to commit a sin.

Oh, good grief. That’s not at all what I meant.

1. I made the comment that the OP appeared to be looking for permission. I have since been corrected on that.
2. I told OP to talk to a priest.

I did not imply that a priest would grant permission. And furthermore, we all know that there are clergy who don’t always get it right. Hence, the 1%.

 

[Psalm30]

Oh, good grief. That’s not at all what I meant.

1. I made the comment that the OP appeared to be looking for permission. I have since been corrected on that.
2. I told OP to talk to a priest.

I did not imply that a priest would grant permission. And furthermore, we all know that there are clergy who don’t always get it right. Hence, the 1%.

I apologize.

 

[on_the_hill]

Alrighty then.

 

[Kima]

however she feels that it’s not a sin for me to use condoms during infertile times to have sex.

What your wife feel is sin or not doesn´t matter. The magisterium of our Church declares what is sin or not. We don´t have the authority to say that something the Church says is a sin, is not a sin.

Humane Vitae is very clear that all use of contraception is sinful no matter reason. However, I´d recommend you to discuss this with your priest.

 

[PennyinCanada]

She won’t consider NFP.

Natural family planning is fertility information. I was so happy to find out that nfp existed so I could know when I ovulated and when my period was due. With periods that were irregular due to stress or whatever, it was a welcome piece of information. I feel as though every female teenager should have this information instead of pills pushed on them. It’s basic biology that is totally ignored, for what reason, who knows. I should have learned this in high school.

I’m just posting this for the readers of this thread. Too bad your wife won’t consider learning this.

 

[HumbleIOughtToBe]

Marital sexual relations Moral Theology

Jackie Francois Angel - Dating 101 (2019 Steubenville Main Campus 5) [Jackie Francois Angel - Dating 101 (2019 Steubenville Main Campus 5)] “…a mans semen, a husband’s semen needs to end up and his wife’s vagina…” [Jackie Francois Angel - Dating 101 (2019 Steubenville Main Campus 5)] “…oral sex within marriage, is not okay. If, oral stimulation in marriage is okay if it leads to the consummation of sex … anal sex at all, if semen ends up anywhere, again this is not …

This post of mine is relevant to this situation.

As always, talk to a Priest.

 

[QwertyGirl]

Others on this site have guided that if the spouse is for ABC then it would not be a sin for the one who does not approve. IM NOT LOOKING FOR PERMISSION JUST LOOKING FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE I DO SOMETHING THAT IS MORALLY WRONG!

Your wife can use contraception, and at would not be sinful for you, necessarily. Check with your priest. You don’t mention if your wife is Catholic it not.