Wife is VERY anti-Catholic

[Catolico_Romano]

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

My wife and I are craddle Catholics. We’re of Mexican origin. We were married in the Church, had our children (7 and 3 years old) baptized as infants, and we ocassionally went to Mass.

Well, to make a long story short, my wife found Jesus Christ in February of last year through her sister’s husband, who is in prison for drug trafficking. Now, to put it mildly, her sister and my wife are very, very anti-Catholic. Their mother, my mother-in-law, is a Catequist, and a few months ago they would attack her all the time, telling her that Catholics worship Mary and the Saints, and that they are not Christians. My wife even stopped going to her mom’s house for a few days after her conversion because she has images of Our Lady of Guadalupe and Cruxifixes.

Back in Feb., I had been doing lots of research about the Catholic Church, and I wanted to reclaim my original faith. (I had attended Catholic elementary school, so I wanted to go back to my childhood faith). So, as you can imagine, it was a big struggle between my wife and I. At the end, in March, I decided to attend the non-denominational church she started attending, never fully immersing myself in Protestantism.

A couple of weeks ago, my wife just snapped. She found a small church (I call it a cult), where they don’t celebrate Christmas, birthdays, etc. The pastor there told her to throw away all of our children’s cartoons, clothes with references to cartoons, such as Dora the Explorer and Disney, because, he claims, they are evil because they contain witchcraft.

I decided to stop going to any church at that point. I have now decided to attend Mass. I really don’t understand how Protestants claim they have the Truth when they have such different beliefs from each other. Each denomination says something different from the next, and every pastor wants to be a prophet, sometimes imposing their own interpretation of the Bible on others.

I believe God is a God of order. The Church is not perfect, but it is His. My wife told me yesterday that she will NEVER go back to the Catholic Church, nor listen or read anything that comes from Catholic authors. She’s in a very extremist mode right now. Reading the Bible ALL day (she’s a stay-at-home mom), and only allows our children to watch Bible cartoons. Needless to say, she won’t let me take my children to Mass. She says that I have no Spiritual authority because I want to go back to Catholicism. (My little girl everytime she sees an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe she says something like, “That is something evil!”)

My wife and I agreed that we will respect each other’s beliefs. That we will focus on the beliefs that we have in common, such as the Bible, faith in Jesus Christ, praying as a family every night, etc.

I just feel that I’ve lost an important role in my family, because I can’t be the spiritual head. I don’t want to divide my family, but my wife taking my children to her own church, and I going to Mass by myself, makes me feel lonely.

Any advice would be grately appreciatted.
Thank you,
Catolico Romano

 

[Indifferently]

I was inclined to offer you brotherly advice until you started making uncharitable statements. I have not met ANY priest in my church who thinks or behaves like a prophet. Tame your arrogance, and sort out your marriage.

 

[Catolico_Romano]

I was inclined to offer you brotherly advice until you started making uncharitable statements. I have not met ANY priest in my church who thinks or behaves like a prophet. Tame your arrogance, and sort out your marriage.

You’re right. I should’ve said, “SOME pastors” not EVERY pastor. And I should’ve also made clear that my wife is only considering fundamentalist churches, not the historical churches from the Reform, such as the Anglican and Lutheran churches. She says they are too close to Catholicism.

I apologize if I offended anyone. It wasn’t my intention.

 

[CopticChristian]

I was inclined to offer you brotherly advice until you started making uncharitable statements. I have not met ANY priest in my church who thinks or behaves like a prophet. Tame your arrogance, and sort out your marriage.

Indi,

I believe you read the post incorrectly…

I really don’t understand how **Protestants claim **they have the Truth when they have such different beliefs from each other. Each denomination says something different from the next, and every pastor wants to be a prophet, sometimes imposing their own interpretation of the Bible on others.

He is speaking of the Protestant experience of the Pastors that appear to be Prophets.

 

[CopticChristian]

CR,

You need to get hold of Patrick Madrid’s book Search and Rescue…read it, think about it and put it into practice…

Your wife found something, someplace, because she was missing that and now she believes she has it…

The only behavior you can change is yours. Get hold of some Scott Hahn bible studies…and I would suggest you get the Book of Romans…if you can study and understand this then you can in time discuss your study of this book.

Study the Bible on your own…show her that you appreciate Bible Study…be careful because you do not want to get into her church Bible study…because all you will learn is their theology…

Live your life as a model…get hold of the Audio Catechism of the USA for Adults…about $42 bucks and the hard copy…learn your faith…so you can live your faith…I have now listened to this about 7 times, was 6 last week and I am now spending about 3 days on each disc to really get a handle on it…

Pray, go to mass, love your wife and show her how great your life is and attract her to the Faith you want her to love as you do…best I can offer you…

 

[Indifferently]

You’re right. I should’ve said, “SOME pastors” not EVERY pastor. And I should’ve also made clear that my wife is only considering fundamentalist churches, not the historical churches from the Reform, such as the Anglican and Lutheran churches. She says they are too close to Catholicism.

I apologize if I offended anyone. It wasn’t my intention.

That is a very contrite reply. Thank you.

I would strongly advise talking to your wife, seeking a moderate position you are both comfortable with. Just tell her not to rush in, because the radical fringes are like cults, and make it incredibly difficult for people to leave once they are in. Your faith is important to you, as is your marriage. Pray for God’s grace, and just try to slow things down a bit and try to assess what might be motivating your wife.

Tell her that no matter what her beliefs you are her husband and that will not change.

 

[benjohnson]

Let me offer some general advice on dealing with people you love who are getting pulled into things that are unhealthy (I can tell whatever is happening is unhealthy based on your wife’s unfounded venom against the Catholic church)

1. Stay very close to her - the more distance that’s between you and her, the more you can’t understand and the more she can be exposed to things without your council.
2. Fill her time up - don’t give her any more time than she absolutely demands to be with this bad influence. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, go on vacations, go to movies, go to the library. Do anything to get her into the real world and away.
3. Understand the bad influence - If someone is using the bible to sway her, you have to become an expert at the bible and not only the correct interpretation but the fallacious one as well so that you may begin to counter.
4. Seek company -If she behaves poorly when in the family or just with you, try to keep people around you that she would be embarrassed to act poorly around.

Some general advice, sorry I can’t offer more.

 

[CopticChristian]

I just feel that I’ve lost an important role in my family, because I can’t be the spiritual head. I don’t want to divide my family, but my wife taking my children to her own church, and I going to Mass by myself, makes me feel lonely.
Any advice would be grately appreciatted.
Thank you,
Catolico Romano

CR,

You may want to do a Bible study on this. You are the Spiritual leader based on the Bible. If your wife is taking your children and not allowing you to take them with you then you have a bigger problem than Faith.

You have a problem that is called an imbalance of Power and that is a problem. You may want to seek some marriage counseling and get her involved in understanding that you both have the right to educate your children…you should be able to negotiate an alternate Sunday Mass with you and her church…be careful…this is a tough situation.

 

[Lochias]

I was inclined to offer you brotherly advice until you started making uncharitable statements. I have not met ANY priest in my church who thinks or behaves like a prophet. Tame your arrogance, and sort out your marriage.

And yet, in other Protestant churches, there are plenty who think and act like prophets. You might consider taking some of your own advice.

 

[Rosinante]

I was inclined to offer you brotherly advice until you started making uncharitable statements. I have not met ANY priest in my church who thinks or behaves like a prophet. Tame your arrogance, and sort out your marriage.

The man’s marriage is in jeopardy because some extrinsic influences (being very mild and diplomatic here, so as not to further hurt your sensitive feelings) have apparently influenced his wife’s perspective, and poisoned her against her, her mother’s, her husband’s, and their children’s Faith…

…and yet you latch on to one little throwaway line? Are you really so sensitive and egotistical, as to feel compelled to claim victimhood, over one little line in passing, amidst such obvious real problem within HIS family???

Seriously, with that kind of perspective, I don’t guess your ‘brotherly advice’ would amount to much anyway.

 

[Rosinante]

Catolico:

First, let me say that I sympathize with your circumstance deeply. That sounds like a horrible situation–especially since she changed so drastically from the woman you married.

Second–for perspective–my wife is protestant–but I knew this going in, and was able to plan accordingly. Hence I don’t pretend to compare my situation to yours.

Third, for whatever it’s worth–my wife, to this day, after 8 years of marriage, still takes side-swipes at the Catholic Church. Constantly.

Now, to the part that may be applicable to your situation–you are doing the right thing, in educating yourself. That’s the best place to start. This might also help–some rhetorical quesions aimed at the basis of protestantism–specifically, sola scriptura:
Here are the questions I propose:

*1. So much was prophesized in the Bible…why wasn’t the Bible itself prophesized?

1. …especially given the centrality and tantamount authority protestants seek to yied to it, to the exclusion of, the actual Church that Yeshua actually established?
2. If it was Yeshua’s intent to reduce the Faith He founded to a writing, why didn’t he write it Himself? Why not just write the Bible himself, and hand them to his Apostles, with the insturction: “copy, and distrubute liberally”.
3. Furthermore, Yeshua was cleary highly literate, and well-versed in scripture–teaching the elders when he was merely 12 y/o, and so frequently (almost casually) making reference to the OT–yet the only record in the Bible itself of Yeshua writing anything down at all, is in the sand, with his finger (or a stick?).
4. Why did He choose Apostles, at all?
5. Was Martin Lutehr a prophet? Why did the Church Fathers require the Prophet Martin Luther, to supposedly set them straight with regards to the Bible which they themselves assembled, and preserved against all kinds of attacks, thourgh FIFTEETEEN centuries, before the enlightened prophet taugh us how to use scripture properly, if he wasn’t a prophet? (If she claims Luther was a prophet, then ask where in the Bible was he, or even a type of Martin Lluther, prophesized–(other than in the negative–as in, false prophets, and disciples following him no more, after he proclaims the Eucharist in John 6:66);
6. Why is it that the Eastern Churches, also of Apostolic origin, reflect the Latin Rite in its sacramentality, Marian devotion, and most every other aspect (save the papacy)?
7. Why isn’t sola scriputura prophesized or even mentioned, or even described, in the Bible? Why does he (your freind, that is–presumably, I should add) condemn ‘traditions of men’, while simultaneously subscribing to one (sola scriptura) as the foundation of his faith?

Just a few rhetorical questions to help put things into perspective…*

NOTE: Cut&pasted (and conformed) from another thread.

Hold your ground, sir. Keep the Faith. That is, keep THE Faith.

…and I will keep you and your family, in my prayers.

VIVAT JESUS!.

 

[Rosinante]

One final point–as you research and educate yourself–dig into the Church Fathers. This in my experience, has been the greatest source for exposing protestantism as…

…heresy.

VIVAT JESUS!

 

[Inquiringperson]

Do you think you can talk to a priest? He might be more effective in helping out your situation than us due to the fact that you can have a face-to-face chat with him. I would also go along with Coptic’s advice and take some marriage counseling. You should also Ask An Apologist in hopes that they can help you. Most importantly, you need to pray for your family, even if things seem to get worse.

Here’s the link to Ask An Apologist: forums.catholic-questions.org/forumdisplay.php?f=84
Be warned, though. Not all questions will be answered.

 

[Timothy_Garber]

(My little girl everytime she sees an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe she says something like, “That is something evil!”)

I read this and almost cried. This statement struck out at me like a bullet to the heart…

I wish I could give you more advice, but others seem to have given more than I could ever give. My only hope is that you can at least reach the heart of your child, make her understand the faith before she takes root on her mother’s side.

 

[JRKH]

Some great advice above.

Two quick points relating to the respect aspect…

1. Make sure that “respect” includes sharing with each other what you are learning about faith. It’s obvious that even having been raised Catholic she has some very wrong ideas about what the Church teaches.
   When she brings up something that is wrong - go and get the right teaching and show her…
   Respect requires that she accept that the Catholic Church has the right to say that it believes - not some non-Catholic source.
2. Why are the Children going exclusively to her church?
   Respect would dictate that they be exposed to both faith traditions.

Be charitable but adamant on these points. Respect demands it. Anything else means that she is disrespecting you, your beliefs and your views on what is best for your children.

It might take some time, but if she truly wishes to be fair and respectful, she will come around.
At that point, you and she will be able to begin having good, serious discussions about faith and over time, as you learn more and she learns more, she will most likely come to see the errors in the denominations she is currently enamored of.

Patience, charity and firmness my friend.

One last thing - as my old granny use to say - never go to sleep angry with each other.

Peace
James

 

[devoutchristian]

You say that your kids were baptized Catholic. If that’s the case then you have an obligation to take your 7 year old to mass.

 

[rafarose]

Dear Catolico Romano,
You are in a very difficult situation but there are many things you can do that can help.

1. PRAY, keep praying, Jesus hears everything, He knows what we want and need before we even say it. Pray to our Virgin Mother Mary. We sometimes underestimate the power of prayer. My entire family did not like it when I became involved in the pro life movement. But after praying I was given tiny opportunities to talk to them. Slowly they began to open up as their own beliefs were challenged. My family is very supportive now as my sisters are pro life. This is what I refer to as the “seed”. You begin by planting a tiny seed of hope, love and faith. Take very good and careful care of this seed.
2. Just remember that you can not change something like that overnight. You have to be VERY patient.
3. When given the opportunity, talk to your wife. But also remember to be fully equipped with God’s armour, meaning that you should KNOW Bible stuff. Understand some important messages in the Bible. You don’t have to debate/argue, but discuss these things with your family. CHALLENGE your wife’s views. By challenge I mean, ask thought provoking questions that might contradict these views. For instance explain the significance of icons, that we do not worship them but rather use them to help us feel closer to the Divine. As humans, we depend heavily on our senses, seeing Jesus’ photo helps us. It is the message behind.
   Also, talk to your children before bedtime, read them stories, pray with them.
4. Most importantly, BE the example, the role model for this family. As St Francis of Assisi says “Spread the Gospel and WHEN necessary use words”
   Love demands that it be proven, sometimes through suffering and hardships. Believe me, your wife will appreciate it at the end. Truth will always prevail.

 

[Inquiringperson]

This website’s got some great prayers.
ewtn.com/devotionals/prayer_saint.htm

You should also open up a thread in the prayer intentions forums.

 

[Immacolata]

Now, to put it mildly, her sister and my wife are very, very anti-Catholic. Their mother, my mother-in-law, is a Catequist, and a few months ago they would attack her all the time, telling her that Catholics worship Mary and the Saints, and that they are not Christians. My wife even stopped going to her mom’s house for a few days after her conversion because she has images of Our Lady of Guadalupe and Cruxifixes.

How sad that her own mother would not respect her daughter’s Catholicism; however, I am confused at one thing in the last line — by “her conversion” do you mean your wife’s conversion, or her mother’s? I’m going to assume her mother’s conversion, and your wife did not feel comfortable around her mother because of her Our Lady of Guadalupe images and Crucifixes.

The pastor there told her to throw away all of our children’s cartoons, clothes with references to cartoons, such as Dora the Explorer and Disney, because, he claims, they are evil because they contain witchcraft.

I am not sure where he got his information that Dora the Explorer has “witchcraft”, but I’m going to venture and say that it was not from a reputable source.

I believe God is a God of order. The Church is not perfect, but it is His. My wife told me yesterday that she will NEVER go back to the Catholic Church, nor listen or read anything that comes from Catholic authors.

Again, how sad it is that she chooses to be close-minded on differing viewpoints, especially when that differing viewpoint is one she used to hold.

She’s in a very extremist mode right now. Reading the Bible ALL day (she’s a stay-at-home mom), and only allows our children to watch Bible cartoons.

I do not see a problem with reading the Bible, especially if it helps you grow in spiritual health; nor do I see a problem with letting children watching Bible cartoons — however, of course, this should not be the only thing they watch, especially if it propagandizes a single viewpoint. Children should be exposed to differing viewpoints, and not sheltered; this does not mean that children should be exposed to cruel environments, but they should not become obdurate and believe one, and only that one, viewpoint is acceptable to hold.

(My little girl everytime she sees an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe she says something like, “That is something evil!”)

I must say that this line is one of the saddest in your post; as I said above, it is not good to shelter children and make them believe that one, and only that one, viewpoint is acceptable. May Our Lady continue to pray for her, as well as your other child.

My wife and I agreed that we will respect each other’s beliefs. That we will focus on the beliefs that we have in common, such as the Bible, faith in Jesus Christ, praying as a family every night, etc.

It is good that you agreed to respect each others’ beliefs, however I do not, from reading this thread, believe your wife is respecting your beliefs fully as she agreed to. You may (and it sounds like you are, but at the least not comfortable with them) be respecting her beliefs, but, as your thread title says, your wife, sadly, seems anti-Catholic.

I will pray that your wife may respect your beliefs, and, as well, teach your children to respect Catholicism. Remember to continue to pray, to remain respectful of your wife, and to keep faith in the Lord and in the Church. God bless, and my prayers are with you.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

That is a very contrite reply. Thank you.

I would strongly advise talking to your wife, seeking a moderate position you are both comfortable with. Just tell her not to rush in, because the radical fringes are like cults, and make it incredibly difficult for people to leave once they are in. Your faith is important to you, as is your marriage. Pray for God’s grace, and just try to slow things down a bit and try to assess what might be motivating your wife.

Tell her that no matter what her beliefs you are her husband and that will not change.

You owe the OP an apology. You totally misunderstood his statement and demanded an apology when he said nothing of the sort of what you suggested.