Wife, Mother, Addict -- please help me!

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Hi Christin~

Wishing you peace & saying a prayer for you this weekend!
 
Psalm 25

In you, Lord my God,
I put my trust.
I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

No one who hopes in you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.

Show me your ways, Lord,
teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, Lord, are good.

Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.

For the sake of your name, Lord,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.
They will spend their days in prosperity,
and their descendants will inherit the land.
The Lord confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish.

Look on my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
See how numerous are my enemies
and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me;
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope, Lord is in you.
 
I ask God to surround you with His love and light.
I ask our Mother to please pray for you
and your guardian angel and patron saints to please pray for you.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible,
look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us,
that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent,
but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is love and mercy itself

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come. Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
God has given us brains. He has given us will power, courage, self control, discipline. throw your pills needles alcohol away and stop. It’s that simple. If you cannot, then tell your parent, tell whoever has asked. This is just another test for you to open your eyes. WE must do our best and God will do the rest. Do not lie, is it worth what you are going through? Get a GRIP ON YOURSELF!
 
christin,

I hesitate to answer because I really don’t know you and I don’t know your circumstances beyond your post. I will share some things I do know - please pick and choose any that are helpful.
We’re called to know God in such a deep intimate way that our relationship with our spouse is only an analogy. With His grace, the relationship can be summed up as “Know you? I am you.”

If we are good as Christians, it is because of His light shining through us. Don’t try to hold up a mask for anyone’s benefit. If you’re broken, be broken, and bring your brokenness before God.
I fear that we cannot trust God to prevent horrible things from happening. Even Jesus’s apostles were executed in horrible ways. If you trust God to prevent you from being addicted, you will feel betrayed.

What we can trust God for is a way to turn all things to good. St. Peters torments helped the Church in her infancy. Mother Angelica’s torments made EWTN possible.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that there’s not enough help for people who are addicts. God may need you for this important work. He may be preparing you to lead others out this slavery.
If you are angry with Him, be angry! If you cannot trust Him, then tell Him that. If you cannot bear to look at him, then ask Mary to help you.
 
Maybe you did some things unknowingly or taught some doctrine incorrectly and one of your old students is struggling in some way because of that. So now you have this problem and God intends you to tell people about it, and when you do that kid will come to know that you weren’t all that right in what you said and something good will come of it for him! we never know these things. There is a reson for everything.

Keep believing and following the commandments. you can’t believe and then when things get hard, not stick to your beliefs cuz He’s always testing us. Maybe you weren’t strong enough in your faith the right way. maybe you spoke carelessly and it impacted someone. Maybe it’s God’s way of setting things right. You’ll come out of this stronger and more faithful then you were before! I’ll pray for you- do not give up, God is real.
 
God has given us brains. He has given us will power, courage, self control, discipline. throw your pills needles alcohol away and stop. It’s that simple. If you cannot, then tell your parent, tell whoever has asked. This is just another test for you to open your eyes. WE must do our best and God will do the rest. Do not lie, is it worth what you are going through? Get a GRIP ON YOURSELF!
Actually, no, it is not that simple, it is not at all that simple. Addicts cannot just “get a hold of themselves”. It doesn’t work that way. I speak as a former addict myself. It has been almost a year since I stopped doing what I do and I still have cravings, cravings that I have to fight and manage. A person does not just become addicted because they feel like it, that are many surrounding and underlying issues that need to be attended to or the addict will never get better.
 
Actually, no, it is not that simple, it is not at all that simple. Addicts cannot just “get a hold of themselves”. It doesn’t work that way. I speak as a former addict myself. It has been almost a year since I stopped doing what I do and I still have cravings, cravings that I have to fight and manage. A person does not just become addicted because they feel like it, that are many surrounding and underlying issues that need to be attended to or the addict will never get better.
You are right. My body became addicted to Oxycotin when I had cancer and it took about a year until I finally decided to wean myself off of it. The pain I felt dissappeared when I did. I wasn’t addicted to the effects of the medication, so I got lucky to be able to get myself off of them, but my body did react when I stopped taking them. This person is going to need help doing this, intervention by a Dr. or program. Tim
 
please know of my spiritual closeness at this time and know I will be praying for you.

I have been traveling a similar path myself for the past 1.5 yrs. If you’d like to private message me I’ds be glad to chat more in depth :-).

But the following has helped me to overcome my addiction(s) and grow in strength.
  1. daily Rosary,
  2. adoration / Communion (daily if pos)
I’d advise you to incorporate the above into each day… you will find miracles do happen and the addiction will be overcome. I would also recommend praying to our Lady of perpertual help. our Blessed Mother never lets her children fall.
 
I’m
Any words of wisdom? I’m lost. I’m confused. Please help! I don’t know how to trust God again.
my words of “advice” are really God’s words…

spend a long time at the Blessed Sacrament… as often as possible…

Jesus knows why you are doing the things you do & He will show you things when you are in His Presence…

I just go there & sit in total silence… sometimes it is not too “fun”… but that’s because we live in a sinful world and sin adheres to us… in ways we don’t always fully realize until we are with Him… the Great psychologist… :love::hmmm::love:
 
Christin:

Thinking of you in prayer…hope you are doing better.
 
Christin-This is going to be harsh. But you need a reality check. Let me begin that I am sure your family has been brutalized by your drug addiction and I am just as sure that they want you well and can’t bare to watch you kill yourself. I don’t know what state you live in but you really need to work this program hard…because it is hard. You need to give yourself a fighting chance…I cannot emphasize enough…you have to tell your family, your husband, your kids whoever is close to you. They already know you are in hell.
In the Big Book it states this program demands Rigorous Honesty. Listen to what AA is at the beginning of each meeting. There is no easier, softer way.

If you are going to meetings and are using your sponsor I’m sure you have heard this saying…“you’re only as sick as your secrets” You have to tell you’re family, I’m in AA and my daughter is a recovering addict/alcoholic.. If you want to stay clean, you have to tell your family. The fact that you refuse to do so means you are planning your next high. You need to get honest with yourself. Do you honestly believe that they have not seen you “nodding” in & out? How many lies have you told to cover missing money, missing drugs that you stole from a sick man? How many people did you blame? You said you did shoot up…no one saw the track marks? I would be willing to bet a thousand dollars…the only one who believes your lies at this point is you. How much weight have you lost from using, how insane and how mean are you to anyone who has an idea. Do you have any idea what you are doing to your family with your lies? Do you realize their agony at all? I know all about oxies, roxies, zanies…and the mind of a drug addict-you need someone to sponsor you who will call you on your ****. You are planning your next high…& we both know that. Be as honest as you can, believe me…your family probably already knows. As a recovering addict, you cannot afford to tell one lie. Not only do you have to work the 12-Step program, you have a lot of work in the trust department-not God-you. Believe me, your family will be relieved to know there is a reason for your past behavior. As alcoholics and addicts we are self-centered and full of fear…it will probably be easier to have your sponsor with you and help you explain…there will be tears but you will not regret this. I am sorry if this comes across as down right mean…but you need to know the truth. Don’t give up before the miracle happens. I know its hard and I know it hurts…but you have to do your small part…God only does for us what we can’t do for ourselves.
 
Thank you for the many words of encouragement and the prayers (both suggested and prayed).

Since my original post, I have told my immediate family members (husband and children). They were truly surprised, having no idea about the addiction. My husband was very understanding, even to the point of commenting how difficult it must have been for me to try to get clean without dragging the family into the problem. The love and understanding that I received makes the fact that I have relapsed even worse. I’m trying to work a twelve-step program, but am finding the simple program to be difficult. I quit the replacement therapy, relapsed, detoxed at the end of May but, as I mentioned ealier, have relapsed (please continue to pray for me).

A stumbling block for me is the “God of my understanding” as professed in 12-Step fellowships. I find it very difficult to sit in silence when others profess that it doesn’t matter what one believes, just as long as one has a Higher Power that “works for them.” Related to that, is the shame that I feel in giving a poor witness. I have lived most of my adult life trying to be an effective witness for Christ. Now, I can’t even keep from ingesting pills to bring glory to Him.

In service of my ego, I beg your patience as I answer a few questions posted on this thread (for Lainey – I understand where you are coming from. I fight to find a softer, easier way. Still, I feel compelled to answer your questions):
Do you honestly believe that they have not seen you “nodding” in & out?
They have never seen me nodding.
How many lies have you told to cover missing money, missing drugs that you stole from a sick man? How many people did you blame?
I lied to doctors. I never took pills that my father needed. He used so few that I was able to keep his refills. I always had the intention that I would come clean if others were blamed. I believe that I still have that much integrity.
You said you did shoot up…no one saw the track marks?
No. I never shot up. You misunderstood.
I would be willing to bet a thousand dollars…the only one who believes your lies at this point is you.
I protected my family from my addiction very well. That’s why it was so hard to tell them. They are no longer in the dark.
Do you have any idea what you are doing to your family with your lies? Do you realize their agony at all?
All I can say is thank God that He spared them. I have heard the horror stories of what addiction can do to families. It breaks my heart that my husband needs to babysit me near my father’s meds and that he needs to check up on me at night, to find out if I’ve used or not. I hate that he must worry that I’m at risk for the rest of my life.
You are planning your next high…& we both know that.
I am very good at denial and self-deception. That’s where my sonsor has a pivotal role.
Be as honest as you can, believe me…your family probably already knows. As a recovering addict, you cannot afford to tell one lie.
I understand.
Not only do you have to work the 12-Step program, you have a lot of work in the trust department-not God-you.
I understand.
God only does for us what we can’t do for ourselves.
I can do nothing apart from Christ, but I can do everything in Christ Who strengthens me. I know that God is faithful. He has not changed, I have. All the same, I struggle to trust.
 
Dear Christin

I am so happy that you have begun your journey. I am sorry that I am across harsh. My daughter is a recovering drug addict, her drugs of choice are oxies & roxies and I know all about denial as you do, I suffer from the same thing. I was reacting to you not as a recovering alcoholic but as someone who watched her daughter being destroyed by drugs. And now that I know how her disease works I learned that I had to be painfully blunt with her. It would hurt your family so much to find you overdosed & dead. I know that she was very good at hiding her addiction as most addicts alcoholics are. This disease of addiction is so powerful that we do have to really question our motives sometimes-because we lie to ourselves and we believe these lies. You are not alone with your difficulties especially with your issue about your relapse and your higher power. It is hard & you do have to be very careful withdrawing from certain drugs can be deadly if not done properly.

You said you are working the 12 steps-I am hoping that you have joined either AA or NA or go to both, working with a sponsor. I hope you didn’t just buy a book and try to go this alone.
I know this is very painful for you it is for all of us. But I promise you keep doing the little things each day to stay clean-your pain will become less and you will get moments of peace and if you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what your getting. That applies to if you are working the program to the best of your ability or not. Get on your knees in the morning & ask for help or if you can’t do that then right when you open your eyes ask God for one day of being clean & sober and to direct your thoughts, words, & actions. And practice gratitude ( I feel like I’m lecturing you and I don’t want to do that.) Start wherever you are at…no matter how small or stupid you may think it is. You can email me if you like and if you need someone to talk to I can give you my number and my daughter’s number. There is group here on Catholic Answers called Alcoholics Anonymous join it if you want. God Bless you Christin
 
This disease of addiction is so powerful that we do have to really question our motives sometimes-because we lie to ourselves and we believe these lies.
This is why I did not take offense at anything you posted. I simply felt compelled to correct some inaccuracies. As I am an opioid addict, withdrawing is not a health concern. It’s not comfortable but is able to be done safely.
You said you are working the 12 steps-I am hoping that you have joined either AA or NA or go to both, working with a sponsor. I hope you didn’t just buy a book and try to go this alone.
I attend both AA and NA meetings (average 6/week) and was working the steps with a sponsor. As you can imagine, we aren’t actively working the steps with me in relapse. I was working on the fourth step when I picked up. I haven’t been able to quite get it back together. My sponsor assures me that, being powerless, I can’t get it back together. Although I attend meetings, I don’t connect with recovering addicts outside of meetings, other than for my sponsor (with the exception of online). I know that I need to. It’s very hard.
I know this is very painful for you it is for all of us. But I promise you keep doing the little things each day to stay clean-your pain will become less and you will get moments of peace and if you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what your getting.
After detox, when I was clean for ten days, I kept waiting for the obsession to decrease. It never did. It continued to get worse until I picked up. The memory of that is what makes it so hard (if not impossible) to not use when the obsession begins again.
There is group here on Catholic Answers called Alcoholics Anonymous join it if you want.
Thank you. I would like to very much.
 
What can I say in response to such acts of kindness? May our good Lord bless you abundantly! Thank you, Sailor (and all those who pray for me).
Praying for you, please pray for us!!
Dear fellow parent, Christian, sinner: We got a dvd movie a while back that has in it a forty day program to overcome problems in a marriage. The movie is “Fireproof” and we watched it with tears in our eyes as it is a powerful story of bring a marriage back from the brink when pornography and other issues of trust were undermining it. Although there are a lot of distractions and temptations in our modern world that can reduce our dignity and wholesome existence, saints throughout the ages have experienced very similar problems and eventually overcame most of them. You are a saint if you keep trying. You can succeed with the help of the Holy Spirit. Keep on sincerely asking for help. God made you, wonderfully and Satan wants to fool you into many type of snares; tell him to go back to hell when you are tempted. Rough language for a nasty creature! Smile with gratitude, hope and confidence. God loves you!! Colmcille&kin
 
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