Wife said she loves another man and wants to end our Marriage

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I’m the last person to ever recommend divorce, but if your wife is staying at her parents who allow her lover (true regardless of if they have had sex) from your parish to come and bath your kids I’d talk to a lawyer ASAP. I’d also hope I live in a decent state that still allows alienation of affection lawsuits. There are four extremely unreasonable and out of control people who are doing unconscionable things.
 
AdamP88 said:
Yeah. I’d skip the text and go straight to the punch in the face.
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hoping4more said:
Make sure the ‘volunteer’ is essentially a pirrah in the church. Even if it is a matter of being loud and public.
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If I were married and my wife were to be unfaithful and, to add insult to injury, told me I couldn’t even go to Mass in my own parish, I’d tell her to “insert it in a suppository configuration”.

That being said, I believe the adulterer needs to be publicly confronted (verbally) and shamed and told to stay away from the wife. If possible, gather witnesses and do this in plain view of the pastor after Mass. Have one of the witnesses record it on a cell phone if possible (unless it’s in a venue where such recording is illegal).
 
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TheLittleLady said:
Take it from a woman, from a wife of many decades. Most women in this world need to be woo’ed. We want a knight who will fight to win our hearts and protect us and our children.
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That’s no excuse for adultery.
 
You’re missing the point. This situation is at least likely to end in divorce, and what you do now can affect how a divorce court will rule. Even if you don’t start legal proceedings yet, you need to get advice from an attorney about what you need to do to put yourself in the best legal position possible.
 
Norseman82 said:
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TheLittleLady:
Apologize to her and promise to be a better husband.
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Is this a joke? The adultering party is in the wrong, not the OP.
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There are some people who will always blame the man, no matter what the actual facts are.
 
Blessings,
Are you both Catholic?? She can’t divorce you and marty anyone else. That’s adultery. Vows are for better and worse. You are not to get stuck in worse. If he is a member of the church, call him in to council w Pastor. They both are adulterous. Sin has claimed your family. The enemy is Satan. Your kids deserve better. I’d still go to church. Go to different mass. But, Pastor must be informed. Ppl will get hurt. You still are to be a good Christian w forgiveness. It is possible to overcome this. We’re married 50 yrs.There are ups and downs. When asked for divorce, say”NO!” You meant your vows.
If they die in this sin, the journey would not be an up elevator. Unless, they get a real,”IM SORRY!” out before last breath, God has stated what His judgement is.
Galatians 5:22:26 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
NOTE SELF-CONTROL!
First priest, second, counseling w priest. Third, lover has to stay away. Parents(?) What is going on.
Now, there is God’s way, through prayer and counseling. Your heart must be full of love and forgiveness. You will become a Saint.
OR
talk to priest.
Then get an attorney and file alienation of affection against lover. File Separation papers stating she deserted you by moving into her parents house. Take pictures. Write a journal.
Read scripture everyday. ‘Tis a journey you are on…,
Make a list of your virtues and faults. Depending on your money situation start courting again. Send flowers, take her out to dinner to discuss things and don’t discuss things. Kids need their dad. Do your in laws not like you??
It’s a growth period for you. Get kids as often as possible. Tell her no to divorce… pray w priest. Souls are in jeopardy. READ ALL EPESIANS 5.
A husband is to make sure wife is happy. Genesis states we are to desire our husbands. Eph. Says we are to respect our husbands. Never love ???Men need sex and respect. Women are mushy and need love. You are to love her as Christ loves His church. Even to lay your life down for her… You got a tough job.
Some of this can be looked at as humorous. Ya’ll have to change for the better.
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
Corinthians I :1-14(?) LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND…
 
Others can chime in, but I would think about informing the priest as this is a complete scandal and should not be tolerated in the Church.
 
The priest knows and has been very understanding but also recognises that if he was to appear to judge straightaway, it would just drive her away.
I do think it stinks that she asked me to stay away from our Church though 😦
 
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She has absolutely no right to do that. It’s insane. I hope you go.
 
It is! I found it humorous! Genesis where Adam and Eve were escorted out of Eden, God told them about toiling for your food, etc. Eve would have pain w childbirth and DESIRE HER HUSBAND.
In Ephesians, God spells out relationships in marriage. Women are to RESPECT HUSBAND.
The Bible never says the wife has to love her husband.
Our poor husbands get the most sacrificial job. To love us so much, as Christ loves His church.
EVEN TO LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HER!
It is a simple formula. If the wife is feeling cherished, she’s praising her husband and desiring him. Her husband, loving his wife w God’s BIG love, keeps positive energy flowing back and forth. Of course, love will bloom in the wife, when cherished.
This can overcome all dysfunction. But, it’s hard to keep up for the length of time, it MAY take to heal.
Rent REDEEMING LOVE or read book.
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
Dear Lord, male and female are complex creations. Though, it is simplistic, to define cures for marital problems. As desire, respect and total selflessness.
BUT,
Using that formula, w couples desiring to get better has worked.
PLUS
RENT OR READ “REDEEMING LOVE”
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
Norseman82 said:
Is this a joke? The adultering party is in the wrong, not the OP.
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Be that as it may, the OP is the one who is here asking for advice, and he has admitted that he hasn’t been the perfect husband (of course, who has been?).

So we can tell the OP that he’s perfectly justified in telling her to bugger off. And that may be true. But if the OP wants to save his marriage, that’s most likely going to require some heroic humility on his part. He can only control his own actions. So apologizing for his own part in the growing distance between them is the only thing he has control over. And it could possibly be a moment that allows his wife to rethink what she is doing and soften her heart a little.

Of course, the OP is going to have to discern whether or not that is likely to be the outcome and how exactly to go about it. It’s not bad advice, though. He can either dig in his heels confident that he is in the right and consequently watch his marriage fail. Or he can do what he has to do to win back his wife’s affections. And that could very well include being the first one to apologize even though his wife has committed the more grievous wrong.
 
Yes she still recieves Communion.
I am waiting to hear from our Priest as to what he feels is the best course of action.
 
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