Wife said she loves another man and wants to end our Marriage

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Hi,
I would stay. Driving her away is scary. But, Scripture says, if you have ought w your brother, go to him in love. If he doesn’t accept your message, go back w another witness. If the person rebukes your Counsel, they are to be set from church…
One doesn’t have to move quickly. The Pastor can call her in to counsel w scripture verses and teaching. They should not be receiving communion. God IS w you! Pray, stay forgiving and hopeful. Protect kids. You have a right to say,” NO MORE UNCLE—-to be exposed to kids.
Praying for you and family
Tweedlealice
 
Joe_5859 said:
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Norseman82:
Is this a joke? The adultering party is in the wrong, not the OP.
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Be that as it may, the OP is the one who is here asking for advice, and he has admitted that he hasn’t been the perfect husband (of course, who has been?).

So we can tell the OP that he’s perfectly justified in telling her to bugger off. And that may be true. But if the OP wants to save his marriage, that’s most likely going to require some heroic humility on his part. He can only control his own actions. So apologizing for his own part in the growing distance between them is the only thing he has control over.
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Apologizing when you’re unequivocally the victim is more likely to further convince the other person that they’re in the right. No one’s going to respect and a man who doesn’t respect himself.
 
The course of action is for the priest to start counseling her on her situation. If he knows about all of this, DON’T CAUSE A SCENE IN THE CHURCH. DO that, and you can kiss reconciliation goodbye, and also she will definitely leave the church.

She needs counseling. Maybe the priest can clear her thinking on this, maybe not But at least she will do these things at her own risk, informed of what it does tot he state of her soul.

What Joe said is very good.
 
I think she is past caring about how it will effect her soul. She has given into temptation, the other man is a member of our Church too, and also receives communion. It really stinks.
We have several Churches under one parish community, so I can attend Mass at a different Church, but, we have a parish Family Mass this weekend at my usual Church, and I want to take my children, but if he is there and her parents, it might just cause a scene, but then I think to myself I am not the adulterer here, why should I stay away?
 
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You should go. Not make a scene, just go to Mass with your family and your head held high.
 
I’ve tried and I was severely rebuked. They have a son who has been through 1 messy divorce and 1 even messier seperation- both times with Children involved. They obviously have their own opinion on me and could see their Daughter was unhappy with me, but I think they are attempting to (in their eyes) put their daughter first.
I went to them not to seek forgiveness for what they feel I had done or failed to do, but simply to allow me to give us and the Marriage some space to allow us to get some sense of order in this whole mess.
Other than her mum and dad, her brother and her new man, she has not sought support or guidance from elsewhere. I do know our Priest has now reached out, but as yet she has refused to meet him.
Part of me hopes and prays that she will come to her senses and reconsider at least the possibility of some kind of counselling.
When her brother went through his first divorce her advice to her Brother then was that he needed to fight for his marriage, and to and he did, and it failed miserably, which is why her parents may be in this mindset.
I know I absolutely don’t want to cause a scene, but I can honestly hand on heart say that whatever I had done or how I acted in the past does not justify the current status quo.
I will walk with my head held high to receive the host. And definitely not cause a scene. I will keep my counsel with dignity and pride.
My prayers of hope are quickly turning into prayers for a miracle :cry:
 
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I know this isn’t what you want to here, but from what you’ve said it seems unlikely that she’s going to come back to you. Given that you have kids, you need to look towards your position in a future divorce.

I would advise you, in the strongest possible terms, to at least seek legal advice concerning your situation. If you don’t, you may come to seriously regret it when a family court is making custody decisions.
 
Given that your wife is not only abandoning you but cheating while still legally married to you (and if I understand correctly, in the same house as your kids), you may have a rare (for a man) advantage in custody proceedings.

Your kids would definitely be better off with you, so it would behoove you to take advantage of that if it’s the case. I understand that speaking to a lawyer is a hard thing to do, because it seems to make the situation more final than it already is, but you need to think of your kids’ best interests here.

And keep in mind, there’s no downside whatsoever to simply speaking to a lawyer. If, after getting expert advice on the legal aspects of your situation, you still decide not to take any action, no one has to know that you spoke to a lawyer.
 
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In some parts of the US adultery can be grounds for the court to favor the innocent spouse.

In any case, he needs a lawyer regardless.
 
Wait. She refuses to talk to the priest, but yet she wants to go to Mass with this guy?
What?
 
mickeyblueeyes said:
, but I can honestly hand on heart say that whatever I had done or how I acted in the past does not justify the current status quo.
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First, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say that if yor wife is choosing to behave this way, she is obvioulsy so far gone off the track there is probably little you could do to solve this and I am sorry for that and sorry for your pain

Now I will tell you the first though that comes to my mind. She probably has tried to ask for help. Perhaps not in the clearest of manners but in her mind she has told you what she wants. And sadly, I have seen too many men ignore their wife until it is too late. As much as her behaviour is sinful, she will answer to God either in this life or the next. But it does not change the fact that your behaviour has made her loose her love.

I don’t think it is healthy for you to live a life full of regrets, but I do think you need to accept the consequences of your actions. It is time to figure out the best way to move on

You admit to not being the best husband but… we don’t know what you did. I don’t expect you to tell us but … chances are, it was enough in her mind to end this.
mickeyblueeyes said:
My prayers of hope are quickly turning into prayers for a miracle :cry:
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Again, I am sorry for your pain. But right now, I think your prayers should be to regain peace in your heart
 
Hmmm. There’s got to be more to this. It seems off. Prayers offered though
 
heidi_storage said:
That’s exactly what I tell women who are complaining that their husbands hit them. I give them the benefit of the doubt, of course, but the simple fact is that as much as the husbands’ behavior was sinful, it was their behavior that made the husbands lose their love.
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I really hope you never said this to a woman being beaten by her husband.
 
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It’s a pretty horrifying thing to say, isn’t it? No, my sympathies are with the wronged party–in this case, the husband.
 
The truly deranged nature of victimhood feminism (in which women are always the victims, even when they’re the perpetrators) is on full display with some of the posts in this thread. Sadly, I don’t think most of the people who think like that will get your analogy, they’re too indoctrinated.
 
If someone replies to an adultery victim by telling him that he’s to blame, it’s safe to call him or her indoctrinated.
 
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