Wife taking Birth Control Pills

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someoneorother said:
Shouldn’t you not be having sex if your wife is on any artificial birth control period, whether it’s abortifacient or not?
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There is no prohibition against having sex with a spouse who is taking birth control pills.
 
So if she is on the pill, she is committing the sin and not myself. Is this the truth?
 
mkipp said:
So if she is on the pill, she is committing the sin and not myself. Is this the truth?
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Yes, this is the truth and you would have an obligation to periodically revisit this with her and to suggest that she reconsider , study, pray about it from time to time etc.
 
I don’t feel as bad now knowing that I am not committing a sin. But it feels like it. I just worry for my wife’s soul and that she is doing this against the church and God. Have any of you had this discussion with a spouse? If so how did you discuss the topic and did it work in attempting NFP. God Bless
 
mkipp said:
So if she is on the pill, she is committing the sin and not myself. Is this the truth?
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estesbob said:
Correct.
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This is what I understand from reading posts on this site, which I have no reason to doubt; however, I draw the line at the abortifacient question. I don’t care whether the Church would tell me it’s not my fault or not, I couldn’t live with myself if there was a chance that I was participating in lives being lost.
 
She is already taking them and that surprised me. We were away for a wedding this weekend and I saw them with her makeup. I asked “why are you taking those?” She responded, “the ob/gyn prescribed them.” I then said “I thought that you would not going take those.” And that was about the end of the discussion. I know that we are young, 31 but I want God to be a major part of our lives and the life of our baby girl. I have a hard time knowing my wife is doing this and that she does not care. I know that she loves God and the Catholic Church it is just this one issue.
 
Good day and hope all is well…I am sorry to hear about your situation…Being a member here for a bit I have ran into so many times how husbands want their wives on the pills, this is a bit of a change to hear it’s a hubby wanting NFP not bcps… I know that because there are many of us that are not so well educated in the NFP subject we tend to try and turn the other cheek and go with what’s convenient, I too used that like once with my parents because my exhusband gave it to me “why would GOD create the scientists and the scientists create the pill and we not use it?” So yeah believe me been there done that and man do I regret it big time…Thanks to all that **** literally, I have been “cursed” with the worst thing that can happen to a young woman, infertility… UGH! BUT I pray still very hard and hope that someday GOD may have mercy on me and my future husband and allow us a sweet heaven sent blessing…I have 3 children and oh I am not complaining, I just wished I would have been more informed and less of an idiot and had more children when I had the chance but then again I wouldn’t have ever met the man I am now going to marry so I must say GOD knows why He does things… lol

As for your wife, many of our brother’s and sister’s here have given you really great advise, just try to make her feel as if it’s ok for her to feel the way she does just try to ease her into the thought of NFP and find as much information as possible. AS I have read NFP is 99.9% as effective as bcps and IUD and any other of those things with the only positive note that it doesn’t affect her health nor yours and helps you as a couple grow closer together in a more deeper and intimately… So don’t give up, pray that GOD may guide you with the correct words to say to her and that the Holy Spirit descend upon you to help her see that there are other ways to space children out…

God bless and good luck!
 
is your wife into exercise, taking care of herself (good eating habits, etc)? If so, you might
approach her with that angle. There are a lot of studies that the pill can cause breast
cancer. At best it messes with your healthy body and it definitely does not guarantee that she won’t become pregnant. There are so many problems that I see among my
daughters’ friends who waited to have children until their mid 30ies and took bcps
until then. Most have had a host of problems with fertility issues due to undetected
underlying conditions. In one case, the doctor told her that the pill masked the
symptoms.
The pill causes increase in hormones that tell the body she is pregnant, but those
hormones don’t really have anywhere to go and the theory is that they “mess” with
breast tissue or uterine tissue.
 
mkipp said:
My wife was born and raised in a strong Catholic family. She strayed from the faith during her college years and her twenties. I had something to do with that as a former Protestant. But, since I was confirmed at Easter Vigil and all through RCIA my wife has been by my side at church. We attend every week together and now as a family with her family. It is just that she sees no other option other than birth control pills that will guarantee her not getting pregnant again right off. It saddens me, because I feel that you either believe all the church teachings or you are not a Catholic. I spoken little about this issue, because I am just not sure how to.
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Maybe gently approach the possibility of using NFP. I know you said you mentioned it once before but perhaps it’s time to revisit it. Learning NFP will give her a sense of control and planning for future babies, but is still open to life. Also, if you take out the birth control package you will notice a HUGE list of potential side effects and increased risks as a result of taking the pill. Perhaps sit down and read it with her, and share with her that you are concerned about the health effects of such medication, and that NFP works just as well for planning and is way healthier for her. I guess just try to stay positive and supportive… it sounds like she just doesn’t get the gravity of what she’s doing yet.
 
mkipp said:
I looked on-line and could not find any classes that are local in Massachusetts. I just feel as though she does not think this a big deal. We have not had relations since October 2008, and I am willing to abstain until she comes around. She goes back to work next week with added pressure on top of being a Mom. I just know that trying to bring up NFP will be difficult.
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Oh just saw this. I’m sorry she doesn’t seem to be open to NFP right now. 😦 Again, it does sound like she doesn’t fully “get” the problem with what she’s doing.
 
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