Wife upset with her friend

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clskier

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Let’s see if I can make this story short.

My wife has been friends with her old neighbor (J) for several years. After our wedding, she moved and has kept in touch with J, but their friendship has not been as strong as it once was. At J’s wedding, my wife met and talked with the groom’s sister (S) and they hit it off well. My wife has considered S a friend, and has been including her in all their girl’s outings. Last night it got back to my wife that J literally blew up at S for spending so much time with her friends, and that she has no business hanging out with my wife. I was shocked. I can not even imagine that it is any business of J’s who my wife or S wants to hang out with. S has asked that my wife no longer include her in anything with J, which is fine, but also asked that we not let J know that she talked to us. My wife wants to cut off all ties with J so that she can hang out with S. I think this is a good decision, as I never felt that J was a good friend to my wife (she has done some immoral things that she sees nothing wrong with and I imagine now considers us religious nuts as we grow stronger in our faith).
I think a confrontation with J is inevitable, but S has asked us to just ignore the whole thing, not let J know we know about their argument, and no longer include S. I have been thinking that my wife might say to J something like “Strange, S seems to be avoiding my calls lately. Has she said anything to you why she might not want to hang out with us anymore?”

I’d certainly appreciate a female take on this.
 
From a woman’s point of view, this J person certainly is insecure if she can’t share her friends with other friends. Sounds like they’re all in Junior High or something. :rolleyes:

Of course your wife can associate with anyone she pleases. J is being just plain silly. I think your wife ought to call her and tell her so, and also tell her to lay off of S. If J is a true friend she’ll do so, if not, if her ego is more important to her than her friends, then let J cut herself off from them, including your wife, and act like a child if she wants to. 😉
 
S and J are sisters-in-law, so be sensitive to the way this might tear at J’s marriage and the relationship between S and her brother. Can your wife tell J that she is friends with S, and if J is a true friend she will accept this friendship for the sake of your wife? If your wife told J about S avoiding her calls, J would probably just act along and your wife wouldn’t get anywhere. Of course, you could just stop inviting J and stop calling her as often and let the “friendship” die naturally… :rolleyes:
 
My head hurts. Being a guy sure is easy in comparison to all this. When we have friendship conflicts we do it with fists or sports. Then have some beers when its done to make up. OK, maybe it ain’t better. But its simpler…
 
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manualman:
My head hurts. Being a guy sure is easy in comparison to all this. When we have friendship conflicts we do it with fists or sports. Then have some beers when its done to make up. OK, maybe it ain’t better. But its simpler…
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I agree with that manualman. When my wife got off the phone she asked me what I would do if one of my friends did this to me. I did my best not to laugh because this is very upsetting to her, but I could only think that no guy would ever act like that.
 
Your wife should stay out of J & S’s squabble. Your wife can invite and spend time with whomever she pleases whenever she pleases.

S on the other hand is tied to J as family-- and that can make things awkward for S as it is apparent J is very jealous.

If I were your wife, I’d drop J and keep the friendship with S knowing that it may make things rough on S for the short-term.

The alternative would be to drop both of them and get out of their family drama.
 
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