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Katie1723
Guest
Unless things have changed, a woman doesn’t need her husband’s “permission” to have a tubal.
And if she is covered under his insurance, and it is a “covered” operation, the insurance pays
Kathy
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And if she is covered under his insurance, and it is a “covered” operation, the insurance pays
Kathy
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apricot_yogurt
Guest
tubal-reversal.net/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=000594;p=0
I found a link for a tubal reversal discussion board if you are interested.
I found a link for a tubal reversal discussion board if you are interested.
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Black_Jaque
Guest
I suspect this was how the law would see things - it’s a woman’s world you know. But it’s not like the police are gonna lock the guy up if he resigns.
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stinkcat_14
Guest
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all of the advice, prayers and encouragement. It looks like I have convinced her not to get the tubal, at least for the time being. We still have a huge number of issues to work through. Sometimes I wonder if she has borderline personality disorder.
Please keep praying. She does have a lot to offer, if she would just realize that God has a plan for her life.
Thanks for all of the advice, prayers and encouragement. It looks like I have convinced her not to get the tubal, at least for the time being. We still have a huge number of issues to work through. Sometimes I wonder if she has borderline personality disorder.
Please keep praying. She does have a lot to offer, if she would just realize that God has a plan for her life.
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3blessings
Guest
Sounds like whatever you said has momentarily worked, good for you. But your post shows many more problems to come in a mixed marriage. I pray that you can be strong in your faith and pray for the conversion of your wife. ? Did you get married in the church? Or attend any premarital classes before you married? These unfortunate situations I believe are a result from not being better prepared before you enter into a marriage. Not judging you in anyway, just pointing out that marriage is hard enough when you marry within your own faith, I cant imagine the difficulty of marrying someone that doesnt share your faith, much less your moral beliefs. I see my brother struggle with his wife on some issues because of their difference in faith, even though she is a Christian, and it is so hard on their marriage and on your own personal struggle with following your faith. GOd bless you and your wife.
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stinkcat_14
Guest
I agree 100%. When we were married, I had left the church for another denomination. We had about an hour and a half of marriage preparation, thats it. If we had been married in the church, I think many red flags would have been raised and if we did eventually get married, it would have involved dealing with a whole bunch of issues before we got married.
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TrishaW
Guest
I have MS. After our daughter was born 7 years ago, I let my husband convince me that a tubal was in my best interest. It’s a decision that I regret terribly.
I have been pregnant four times since the tubal. Not just positive home tests - positive blood tests as well. Three were miscarried and one was a tubal pregnancy. You can’t imagine the pain and guilt that I have gone through over those pregnancies.
I advise strongly against a tubal for any woman.
I will pray for you and your wife.
God bless you!
Trish
I have been pregnant four times since the tubal. Not just positive home tests - positive blood tests as well. Three were miscarried and one was a tubal pregnancy. You can’t imagine the pain and guilt that I have gone through over those pregnancies.
I advise strongly against a tubal for any woman.
I will pray for you and your wife.
God bless you!
Trish
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as-a-child
Guest
Not to be a pessimist but things are going to get a lot worse before they get any better. I say this as a man in an inter-faith marriage hoping things get better.
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as-a-child
Guest
Not to be a pessimist but things are going to get a lot worse before they get any better. I say this as a man in an inter-faith marriage hoping things get better.
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TheGarg
Guest
well, if you choose t remain with this woman, you need to be extra Christ like
so in hopes that she will convert one day.i don’t mean to sound insenstitive, buti have been through the wringer from a marriage that did not have Christ centered on it, so i am notsuggesting that you leave her. but …me personally, nothing will ever come before Christ again…not my kids, nobody…ony through this can i love people as i should…
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SueKrum
Guest
I didn’t read all the posts, but what black jaque says is so true. a good friend of my mom’s shared this story with her. she’s very devout and her husband is not. they have several children and her husband gets ribbed about birthcontrole non-stop at work. he decided to have a visectemy. my mom’s girlfriend was so upset and she told him that she couldn’t stop him, but she would have no part in it. he was going to have to drive himself to the dr.'s office and back. she would not assist. well, the day came and he saw how devistated his wife was about it and decided to not go through with it because it meant so much to her. her strenght saved him. so if I were you, first, I would let her know that I would take no part in it what so ever. she was on her own.
also, the couple to couple league has a really great leaflet about tubals. you should check it out. it has all the health risks listed and explained and I think even sights the resources. get intouch with your churches NFB instructors and they can get the leaflet for you. make sure you are well educated on the matter. I’ll say a prayer. my sister is planning one after the birth of her second baby, so I know how you feel.
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stinkcat_14
Guest
I just wanted to update everyone and ask for more prayers. As I mentioned previously, my wife had put off having the tubal done. However, this morning my wife mentioned once again that she was going to have a tubal and I asked her to think out the side effects. She screamed that there were no side effects and that I was trying to control her. I am going to try to get her to get into counseling, but the last time we tried it she sabotaged it because the counselors always tell her things she doesn’t want to hear.
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kamz
Guest
Well, you tell your wife to come on here and talk to me then!! I had a tubal after my 4th child was born and I totally regret it every day of my life!!!
As for side effects? Yes, I have side effects, they slowly developed over time and get worse with each one of my periods. I have so much pain with my periods that I feel like I’m going to pass out from the terrible cramps and my pms has gotten so bad my hubby said I am so hard to be around one week before my period ( I never had that before the tubal) my emotions are all over the place and it just gets worse with time.
I will regret this tubal for the rest of my life and even though I have gone to confession many times for it and in my heart I know I am forgiven, it just doesn’t stop the guilt and the terrible pain, I didn’t feel that right away but believe me, you do feel it, weather it is right away or a yr later etc.
It was and is the worst mistake I have ever made and I will pray like crazy that your wife does not make this same mistake.
As for side effects? Yes, I have side effects, they slowly developed over time and get worse with each one of my periods. I have so much pain with my periods that I feel like I’m going to pass out from the terrible cramps and my pms has gotten so bad my hubby said I am so hard to be around one week before my period ( I never had that before the tubal) my emotions are all over the place and it just gets worse with time.
I will regret this tubal for the rest of my life and even though I have gone to confession many times for it and in my heart I know I am forgiven, it just doesn’t stop the guilt and the terrible pain, I didn’t feel that right away but believe me, you do feel it, weather it is right away or a yr later etc.
It was and is the worst mistake I have ever made and I will pray like crazy that your wife does not make this same mistake.
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Kaninchen
Guest
Hm - surely you’ve been rather lucky? I mean, if my husband announced that he’d changed religion the first thing that would happen is that he’d receive divorce papers, no question. [Admittedly, the case may somewhat different in that we’re Jewish and if he converted to Christianity or Islam (or whatever) he really wouldn’t be the man I’d married, the man I’d married would have left me.]
On the other hand, there’s a lot more to this question than tubal ligation, isn’t there? Isn’t there an element of you having (in a sense) abandoned her and everything devolving/evolving from that?
How far did you discuss the changes to your joint life that would ensue from your becoming an observant Catholic? Is there an element of blaming her for a situation that she’d never bargained for in the first place?
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ElizabethAnne
Guest
I do not mean to be rude, but I am completely and totally shocked by your statement that if your husband converted, you would leave him without discussion. I honestly do not know what Jewish vows are, but I promised my husband, “I will be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” For me at least, there are no exceptions to that promise.
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Kaninchen
Guest
Indeed.
Inherent in the whole contract was maintaining a Jewish home and life together - something incompatible with one partner being, say, Christian or Muslim. If I’d wanted to marry a Christian, I would have done so - that would have been quite different from having a Christian convert (together with all the Christian rules and regulations) ‘imposed’ upon me. As I’d said, I would regard it as him having abandoned me.
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jaaraf
Guest
On a bioethical point of view, having a tubal ligation is contrary to the principal of bodily integrity. In layman’s term: there is nothing wrong with your fallopian tubes so why mess with them? Unfortunately, many other health professionals tend to not share this view of things with regards to the natural law.
I’m praying for you.
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