Wife's Sacraments

[tnjmcl2]

I was previously married and am going through the annulment process. I have been remarried for 14 years and my wife was just told that she can not participate in the Sacraments until my annulment is finalized - is this accurate information?

 

[lizaanne]

I was previously married and am going through the annulment process. I have been remarried for 14 years and my wife was just told that she can not participate in the Sacraments until my annulment is finalized - is this accurate information?

I am assuming you are both Catholic since you didn’t say.

You are currently considered to be in an invalid marriage situation. You are considered to be married to your first wife until proven otherwise by the Tribunal. Therefore (if you current wife is Catholic) she is living in an adulterous state and is not allowed to present herself for Holy Communion, and neither are you.

You both need to discuss this with your priest - not casually, but in a sit down face to face meeting in his office. He will guide you on how to proceed while you are going through this process. You are still married to your first wife until proven otherwise - you must conduct yourself appropriately.

~Liza

 

[Diaconia]

Yes, that’s correct.

Every marriage is presumed valid until proven otherwise.

If you receive a declaration of nullity of your first marriage, then you would go through marriage preparations and marry your current civil wife in front of a Catholic minister (priest or deacon).

This is sometimes called “blessing” a marriage, the actual term is convalidating an existing civil union.

The reason your wife cannot receive the sacraments is that you are not married to her in the eyes of God.

Contact me privately if you need further info. I assist people with annulment issues daily.

God bless,

Deacon Chris

 

[Texas_Roofer]

I was previously married and am going through the annulment process. I have been remarried for 14 years and my wife was just told that she can not participate in the Sacraments until my annulment is finalized - is this accurate information?

Lets make sure it is understood that the wife can become in full communion with all sacraments once the annulment is complete so it is important she complete her training now, thus the priest will typically complete the process quickly after the annulment is issued. Her issue is marriage with a man seen as not free to contract marriage

hope that helps

 

[Diaconia]

Lets make sure it is understood that the wife can become in full communion with all sacraments once the annulment is complete so it is important she complete her training now, thus the priest will typically complete the process quickly after the annulment is issued. Her issue is marriage with a man seen as not free to contract marriage

hope that helps

Actually, no marriage prep should occur until an annulment is in hand. Most dioceses have policies against any sort of prep (both marriage and RCIA) until an annulment is in hand.

The reason for this is that* there is always a possibility that an annulment MAY NOT be granted*, thus the prep (whether marriage or RCIA or both) would have been premature and almost always leads to hard feelings for the persons who have gone through it only to find out they may not return to their sacramental practice / become Catholic.

God bless,

 

[Texas_Roofer]

Actually, no marriage prep should occur until an annulment is in hand. Most dioceses have policies against any sort of prep (both marriage and RCIA) until an annulment is in hand.

The reason for this is that* there is always a possibility that an annulment MAY NOT be granted*, thus the prep (whether marriage or RCIA or both) would have been premature and almost always leads to hard feelings for the persons who have gone through it only to find out they may not return to their sacramental practice / become Catholic.

God bless,

Well that is news to me, we have always had open RCIA. I have never before heard of refusing RCIA to anybody. And yes we have had people attend RCIA for a couple of seasons waiting for annulments. And others complete the training and then come into full communion later when the annulment comes through. Actually having the people attend RCIA seems to help the marriage ministry work the person through the process. How do you expect non catholics to even understand the base issues if you deny them education on catholicism?

 

[Diaconia]

Well that is news to me, we have always had open RCIA. I have never before heard of refusing RCIA to anybody. And yes we have had people attend RCIA for a couple of seasons waiting for annulments. And others complete the training and then come into full communion later when the annulment comes through. Actually having the people attend RCIA seems to help the marriage ministry work the person through the process. How do you expect non catholics to even understand the base issues if you deny them education on catholicism?

Texas:

Your diocese may be different, I’m not sure.

But the original poster’s question reveals that his wife is already Catholic. She’s not going through RCIA, but will, after (and only IF an annulment is granted) go through some sort of marriage prep with her civil husband.

I know that most people think of annulments as “automatic,” but that’s not how the Church views them. If the original poster receives a declaration of nullity, then he is free to marry his current [civil] wife validly. But if not, she will not be able to return to the sacramental life of the Church, because she is not married to him.

Typically annulments take around a year once the case is accepted. It’s worth the wait.

God bless,

 

[Texas_Roofer]

Texas:

Your diocese may be different, I’m not sure.

But the original poster’s question reveals that his wife is already Catholic.
tnjmcl2;6376012:

I was previously married and am going through the annulment process. I have been remarried for 14 years and my wife was just told that she can not participate in the Sacraments until my annulment is finalized - is this accurate information?

She’s not going through RCIA, but will, after (and only IF an annulment is granted) go through some sort of marriage prep with her civil husband.

I know that most people think of annulments as “automatic,” but that’s not how the Church views them. If the original poster receives a declaration of nullity, then he is free to marry his current [civil] wife validly. But if not, she will not be able to return to the sacramental life of the Church, because she is not married to him.

Typically annulments take around a year once the case is accepted. It’s worth the wait.

God bless,

Help me some more: How did you read that? What says he is catholic? Even if neither was catholic until his wife’s current attempt to come into communion the Church nothing would change. Why would one read “sacraments” and assume that is marriage prep?

 

[lizaanne]

Help me some more: How did you read that? What says he is catholic?

His user info in the upper right corner of his post has his religion as Catholic.

~Liza

 

[Texas_Roofer]

His user info in the upper right corner of his post has his religion as Catholic.

~Liza

Thank you

 

[tinalewis]

You are still married to your first wife until proven otherwise - you must conduct yourself appropriately.

~Liza

So, does this mean a man in this situation can have sex with his first wife and it’s OK in the eyes of the church?

Just asking.

 

[lizaanne]

So, does this mean a man in this situation can have sex with his first wife and it’s OK in the eyes of the church?

Just asking.

Yes - he is still married to her unless the Tribunal determines otherwise. That is why being with the second “wife” is an adulterous situation.

~Liza

 

[tinalewis]

Yes - he is still married to her unless the Tribunal determines otherwise. That is why being with the second “wife” is an adulterous situation.

~Liza

LOL - that could make for some interesting family issues!

"It’s OK that I spent the night with my first wife, honey! The church said I could. What are you upset about? "

“Hi Ralph, I charged it on my credit card, but since we’re still married in the church, I know you’ll pay it off because you’re my husband.”

“I’m pregnant and it isn’t your child, of course, but you have to support me and the child because we’re still married in the eyes of the church.”

Insurance company life claims rep: “I’m sorry Mrs. Smith, but since John’s wife isn’t you in the eyes of the church, we have to pay his life insurance proceeds to his first wife.”

Hospice care nurse: “Sorry, Mr. Jones. We haven’t been able to contact your first wife to agree to any of these end-of-life requests. Too bad.”

Family lawyer: “Sorry, Mr. Brown. You can’t leave custody of your children to this strange woman, you have to leave them to your first wife.”

IRS: “Sorry, Mr. Doe, but we have to arrest you for attempting to file a joint return with someone who isn’t truly your wife.”

How about the obligation we have to obey the laws of the land? Or would the church actually agree with the ridiculous examples above? ( I wrote them to get the point across.)

 

[lizaanne]

How about the obligation we have to obey the laws of the land? Or would the church actually agree with the ridiculous examples above? ( I wrote them to get the point across.)

What exactly IS your point? I didn’t find any of those examples to be the least bit funny. This is what happens when people marry outside the Church, when people get divorced and remarried without consideration of their Faith or the laws of God and Church.

Certainly the question was hypothetical - I answered it in the spirit in which I assumed it was written.

And what “laws of the land” do you think are more important than the laws of God?

~Liza

 

[jmcrae]

So, does this mean a man in this situation can have sex with his first wife and it’s OK in the eyes of the church?

Just asking.

If there has been a legal divorce, then the Church considers the couple to be “separated.”

There can be good reasons for divorce - for example, in a case of spousal abuse, a legal divorce allows the abused spouse to take her (or his) share of the marital property and set up housekeeping in a safe location, away from the abusive spouse.

Neither of them can remarry, however.

“But don’t I deserve happiness?” The Church would agree that we are all “deserving of happiness” - and would further suggest that true and lasting happiness comes from obeying the will of God, rather than by entering into relationships that violate our solemn promise of “'til death us do part” that was made in the sight of God to our first marriage partner.

“But God wants me to be happy.” God does want people to be happy - with Him, forever in Heaven. Not (necessarily) with the next good looking man or woman who comes along and falls in love with us.

Getting back to your question - if the couple were to reconcile and move back in together to resume a married relationship, then the Church would not require a second marriage ceremony.

 

[jmcrae]

LOL - that could make for some interesting family issues!

"It’s OK that I spent the night with my first wife, honey! The church said I could. What are you upset about? "

“Hi Ralph, I charged it on my credit card, but since we’re still married in the church, I know you’ll pay it off because you’re my husband.”

“I’m pregnant and it isn’t your child, of course, but you have to support me and the child because we’re still married in the eyes of the church.”

Insurance company life claims rep: “I’m sorry Mrs. Smith, but since John’s wife isn’t you in the eyes of the church, we have to pay his life insurance proceeds to his first wife.”

Hospice care nurse: “Sorry, Mr. Jones. We haven’t been able to contact your first wife to agree to any of these end-of-life requests. Too bad.”

Family lawyer: “Sorry, Mr. Brown. You can’t leave custody of your children to this strange woman, you have to leave them to your first wife.”

IRS: “Sorry, Mr. Doe, but we have to arrest you for attempting to file a joint return with someone who isn’t truly your wife.”

How about the obligation we have to obey the laws of the land? Or would the church actually agree with the ridiculous examples above? ( I wrote them to get the point across.)

Obviously, since the State permits second marriages, it also recognizes them. None of these issues have anything to do with the Church. Someone living in a Catholic country would never encounter these issues, since they would never be permitted to enter into a second marriage without a Declaration of Nullity in hand.

 

[Seatuck]

I was previously married and am going through the annulment process. I have been remarried for 14 years and my wife was just told that she can not participate in the Sacraments until my annulment is finalized - is this accurate information?

Is your wife a Catholic or going through RCIA? A Catholic in an invalid marriage is unable to receive the Sacraments until the situation is rectified. A non catholic going through RCIA is unable to receive the Sacraments if he /she is living in a sinful situation that he or she is unwilling to remove themselves from or cease participating in.

More information is needed. You really want to go sit down with a priest.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I was previously married and am going through the annulment process. I have been remarried for 14 years and my wife was just told that she can not participate in the Sacraments until my annulment is finalized - is this accurate information?

That is correct.