J
Jay74
Guest
Ouch, a terrible problem. I can’t imagine what i’d do if my wife did that to me. I don’t even know where to begin.
fcozen:
fcozen:
fcozen:
fcozen:
As for your family, seems she is getting mad at you, then mad at them, etc. She’s blaming everyone but herself for her problems. Not much of an antidote to this, I’m sorry to say.
fcozen:
fcozen:
fcozen:
This may be upsetting you more, but I think you should prepare to avoid the devastation of losing your kids. A friend of mine had a sister who had a horrible affair (vulgar acts with children in the room), drug addiction, etc… The woman’s family was on the husbands side because of the situation the kids were in. The family court ruling? She got custody. His responsibilities? He had to buy her a car, he had to buy her a house, and he pays her $1,600 a month on top of that. Her responsibilities? Rehab. That’s it. Nothing else. Because of her infidelity, he is now a father 4 days a month, and she is retired.
I’m just saying, don’t trust the courts to do the right thing. Start working to keep your kids now.
fcozen:
I’m sorry if I sound pestimistic, but this is a tough situation. I know first hand…I spent almost 20 years in a house where my mother treated my father just how your wife is treating you. And i’d say the same to her if you were treating her like this–only difference is there is little danger of the courts ripping her kids away from her because of your abuse.
I’ll pray for you. I could almost cry because I can see my miserable father after over 3 decades of abuse just like this, who devoted his life to her and got agony in return.
Blessings to you. I sincerely hope she comes around, but, for the sake of your fatherhood and children, be prepared if she doesn’t.
:crying:
I think there are reasonable boundaries on this belief. You shouldn’t give flowers or take her to dinner then demand sex as payback. But it is reasonable to expect our spouse to be faithful and respectful.
Very true. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I’m a christian married to a Catholic. those marriages can work, since we get most of our values from the same bible.
There is no excuse for her saying that–if you said it to her, she’d probably call it verbal abuse. She says it to you and its, what??? Bottom line, if you abused her that way you’d be on the couch and she’d make your life miserable for it.
As for your family, seems she is getting mad at you, then mad at them, etc. She’s blaming everyone but herself for her problems. Not much of an antidote to this, I’m sorry to say.
She’s punishing you for her misery, even though it is most likely of her own making. By constantly criticizing you, she is making it seem she is superior, so she can conveniently blame you for everything.
I’ll pray for you and her.
I know you don’t want to end the marriage, but she may be heading that route. You really should see a lawyer and start preparing in case she decides to leave. I’m not saying you should divorce her, but the reality of the situation is that women initiate 70% of divorces, and they overwhelmingly get custody of the children regardless of the quality of either parent. This isn’t meant as an ad hominem attack against many fine women who have divorced for legitimate reasons (my wife was divorced when I met her, for good reason–adultery), but the sad fact is that the courts are sexist and if she decides to leave without good cause, she’ll most likely get your kids and maybe move them away.
This may be upsetting you more, but I think you should prepare to avoid the devastation of losing your kids. A friend of mine had a sister who had a horrible affair (vulgar acts with children in the room), drug addiction, etc… The woman’s family was on the husbands side because of the situation the kids were in. The family court ruling? She got custody. His responsibilities? He had to buy her a car, he had to buy her a house, and he pays her $1,600 a month on top of that. Her responsibilities? Rehab. That’s it. Nothing else. Because of her infidelity, he is now a father 4 days a month, and she is retired.
I’m just saying, don’t trust the courts to do the right thing. Start working to keep your kids now.
This is a tough situation. She either really doesn’t want to hear anything you have to say, or she is really punishing you or trying to get you to do something. In any case, her behavior is unacceptable. If she is willing to work on the marriage, I recommend the following resources:
- Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Dr. Laura wrote a book about women just like your wife).
- Surrendered Wife (it’s not about submitting, but the suggestion may land you on the couch. In any case, it is a good book).
- loveandrespect.com
I’m sorry if I sound pestimistic, but this is a tough situation. I know first hand…I spent almost 20 years in a house where my mother treated my father just how your wife is treating you. And i’d say the same to her if you were treating her like this–only difference is there is little danger of the courts ripping her kids away from her because of your abuse.
I’ll pray for you. I could almost cry because I can see my miserable father after over 3 decades of abuse just like this, who devoted his life to her and got agony in return.
Blessings to you. I sincerely hope she comes around, but, for the sake of your fatherhood and children, be prepared if she doesn’t.
:crying: