Will God bring me a husband?

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Blue_Rose

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I desire to serve God fully but I feel lonely for a husband and children. I’m 27 so after years of praying and discerning my vocation I know this is what I want but I don’t know if God will provide that. I feel like there are no single men in my age range who are Catholic in my country/city. I’ve tried internet dating other Christians and I’m always rejected. I feel like no one will ever love me.
 
Well…firstly…don’t think noone will love you. That’s nonsense.

Second, keep trying the internet dating, maybe try Catholic Match. Also try to go out with groups, take part in group activities where you will meet new people. The wider your “social network” the greater the chance of meeting someone you click with!
 
We’ll it’s been the same with me, in fact I got tired because I have met so many scams. We can work things out. I am a strong Catholic too. Hint me if possible
 
Oh my goodness, you sound just like me at age 27… I even went through a stage even thinking maybe my future spouse had been aborted… but turns out, I didn’t meet my husband until I was 43 because God’s timing is perfect! Turns out my husband was a widower, so he was married when I was 27 & wondering when/if where he was. Lol!

To distract yourself & help others, while waiting for him, you could host exchange students. I hosted 1 from the Dominican Republic, 4 from Japan, 1 from France and 1 from Italy. It was great getting to know people on a deep level that you’d otherwise never have the chance. And i got to take them all to Church and expose them to Christianity, something most of them had previously known nothing about - most were Buddhist or grew up in non-religious homes.

As a single woman waiting for your spouse, there’s also no reason you can’t go through training as a foster parent and then make a decision with God as to whether or not you want to foster (or adopt) a child or children while you wait. The education you receive during training, even if you decide not to foster (or adopt), will be helpful later when you become a mom &/or step mom. It’s not a waste of time & will be helpful both now and later in life.

While I impatiently waited to get married, I adopted a child out of foster care. (My husband also adopted his step daughter, so this is something we had in common when we finally met). 5 years after my daughter’s adoption was finalized, 6 years after I first brought her home, my daughter now has TWO loving parents. There are so many children in foster care that need to be adopted that the social worker made it very clear that if I don’t adopt her, then she will be stuck in the foster care system until she ages out as an adult.

I hope you don’t have to wait as long as I did, but don’t waste this time, however long it might be, seek out daily & follow God’s Will. By reaching out to help others in turn will lessen your feelings of loneliness.

Godspeed!
 
I sympathize with your situation. It can be frustrating trying to find a potential spouse. I was in a somewhat similar situation before I met my wife, where it just seemed that I couldn’t meet anyone good who was also interested in me. And I have often thought how glad I am to be married, primarily because I love my wife and children, but also because I no longer have to go through the whole difficult process of finding someone.

But thankfully, you only have to find one spouse! Even if you have a long string of unsuccessful attempts to meet a good man, you only have to be successful once. And meeting that one person may happen in a time and a place when you least expect it, when you aren’t even trying to meet someone. That is how I met my wife.

However, I would suggest that you continue doing things like utilizing online dating sites (with an abundance of caution, of course), and getting involved with events and organizations for Catholic young people. But try not to get discouraged if your first 10 or 20 or 100 attempts to meet someone fail, because you only have to succeed once.
 
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Yes! Please don’t rush God’s timing!! I was thinking the same sorts of things at 27. Be patient!! God ALWAYS has your best interests in mind. If you try to rush something, especially one as important and immutable as marriage, you will live to regret it. Relax, and find ways to glorify God WHERE you are, in your PRESENT circumstances. That’s all He ever wants from any of us.
You’re young- now’s the time to do things you won’t be able to do when you’re married as easily- whatever that looks like to you; all within God’s will and your financial parameters.
 
I tried Catholic match, only 1 person in my city and not many in my country. I’m Australian.
 
Blue_Rose said:
I tried Catholic match, only 1 person in my city and not many in my country. I’m Australian.
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Perhaps you might try looking beyond your city, or even beyond your country. I know a married couple who met online, when they were literally living on opposite sides of the world. They are now happily married, and they are a wonderful Catholic couple.

However, ultimately I think that you will find your spouse on God’s time rather than your time. So I think it’s important to strike a balance between actively looking but also patiently waiting. It’s not easy to do that though.
 
Sugabee43 said:
You’re young- now’s the time to do things you won’t be able to do when you’re married as easily- whatever that looks like to you; all within God’s will and your financial parameters.
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This is a very good point. Marriage is wonderful, but it also means that your freedom is more limited, especially once children come along. There are things that will be more difficult for you to do after you are married, and especially after you have children. Those things could include saving a large portion of your salary, traveling to another country, volunteering your time in a church ministry, walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain, or many other things.
 
Obviously not good enough, I go on dates with men and they turn me down after the first date.
 
Whoever told you that is a jerk who isn’t worth your time anyway. You’re more than “good enough”!! You’re loved by the Most High!!!
 
Hello.

I didn’t get married until I was 30. Never thought I’d find anyone. I was always in about 4 simultaneous relationships. The ones who proposed were not men I’d want as a husband. I made so many mistakes, committed so many sins, had so many heartbreaks because I thought I was unlovable and was trying to prove that I was.

What helped was when a light bulb went on in my head and I decided to keep an eye out for kind men, men I saw doing good things for others, and when I cut myself out of all these abusive relationships. I wanted someone who would care about me and who was someone I could care about.

Also what helped was doing a lot of reading, I like to read up on whatever I’m having a problem with.

One thing I don’t like is when people advise a single person is, God will provide you with someone so they just sit around thinking someone will land in their living room all of a sudden. It’s true God will provide, but it doesn’t hurt to look while you’re waiting. Try to be as attractive as possible, don’t chase men, because you’re depriving them of one of their favorite sports. Do what you can towards this end, and leave the rest up to God. And keep on living your life.

My two cents.
 
While you are waiting, trusting in God’s timing, write letters to your future husband about your hopes and dreams. Save them until your wedding day.

I have no advice about waiting, although I can certainly sympathize as my daughter has the same impatient tendencies. She’s the one who had the above idea.

Good Luck!
 
You give great advice. Although one thing that I find unhelpful is when people give the advice about not waiting around and expecting something to happen. This is assuming the person is not doing anything. A lot of people are trying out everything they could, but nothing resulted from their efforts.

It is a different story though, when one isnt doing anything and expecting things to happen.
 
I’m so sorry. For the little it’s worth, I understand the feelings of rejection all too well, and you have all my sympathies. I’m (unwillingly) divorced and–even though I’m not at liberty to date again–would give nearly anything to feel as if anyone else on Earth would have me. Again, for whatever little it might be worth, you’re in my prayers. I suspect you deserve far, far more than you fear, and I pray to God that that’ll be rewarded as it deserves. May God strengthen you, and bless your life.
 
God helps those who help themselves. And btw, you don’t necessarily need to date a catholic. Just a good guy who will treat you right, someone to hold beside your pillow at night. And when your lonely just throw on some Neil Young, it does the trick every time.
 
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