Will God give me a friend if I beg hard enough?

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Aquilina16

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I’ve ruined so many relationships in the past (I’m a 16 year old girl) because of how complicated and overly sensitive I am to things. Every friend I’ve ever had, I’ve lost because they either found new friends or because I stopped talking to them for dumb reasons that I regret all the time. I’m the worst at making and keeping friends. I don’t even know how to be a friend because I have zero experience. I know I need to change, but I don’t know how to. I keep up a wall that never allows anyone to get too close to me because the thought of them ever getting any closer scares me to death. I know that in order to at least make one meaningful friend is to tear down that wall and let people in, but I feel like that’s almost impossible. Whenever someone clearly shows interest in being my friend (which is rare) I can never understand why. There’s nothing charming about me at all. In fact, I’m quite the opposite: bitter, judgmental, bad mood swings, and low energy. So I guess I should reword my question: If I pray hard enough to God, could he change me so that I can finally make and keep at least one friend?
 
Yes, if you pray for a friend, God will answer your prayers. I am quite similar to you in regards to how you are with friends. I prayed for friends and for God to help me deal well with them and He did, so I’m sure He’ll help you. 🙂
 
Sweetheart,

You already have the best friend in the world! Jesus! The bible tells us to seek the kingdom of God first and all else will follow. Try a youth group. Try two. Volunteer. Do you play any sports? Have you ever wanted to? Nows a great time to start. God is good and you’re gonna be ok. Dont give up on yourself or God.

Peace be with you sis
 
Aquilina16 said:
I’ve ruined so many relationships in the past (I’m a 16 year old girl) because of how complicated and overly sensitive I am to things. Every friend I’ve ever had, I’ve lost because they either found new friends or because I stopped talking to them for dumb reasons that I regret all the time. I’m the worst at making and keeping friends. I don’t even know how to be a friend because I have zero experience. I know I need to change, but I don’t know how to. I keep up a wall that never allows anyone to get too close to me because the thought of them ever getting any closer scares me to death. I know that in order to at least make one meaningful friend is to tear down that wall and let people in, but I feel like that’s almost impossible. Whenever someone clearly shows interest in being my friend (which is rare) I can never understand why. There’s nothing charming about me at all. In fact, I’m quite the opposite: **bitter, judgmental, bad mood swings, and low energy. **

Have you seen a doctor about your mood swings and low energy? The cause could be something medical.
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Perhaps you should schedule an appointment with your schools Guidance Counselor. If you show her your question and talk to her for a while she can probably point you in a direction that will help you.

Issues like yours are the reasons that schools have Guidance Counselors.
 
You are young, my friend. God often helps those who help themselves. Any young girl will experience most of what you are going through, it is quite normal. Think well of yourself. Self doubt often feeds on itself. People are attracted to a bright and bubbly personality. However, in saying that, it is impossible to completely change our nature. However, being open to other people; stopping overthinking; and putting your best foot forward in social occasions are all possible.
A kind heart often is the most attractive. Go out of your way to help others in little things and you will encourage the virtues that will find new friends. Just a more positive attitude and an outward looking preposition all go a long way to cheer you up inside as well.

You won’t be young forever. Go out and enjoy it. Stop moping around like an old sook. Every day is an adventure.
Keep God close as He will answer your most fervent prayers, but often in His own good time. Meanwhile, up and at 'em.
 
Also, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have friends now (though it probably feels like it). I didn’t have friends in high school, didn’t really have them till I hit college. Now, I have more real friends, who will help you in a pinch, than I did then. My friends now have helped me when I was in the hospital, gone out with me, listened to me when I was down.

With friendship, it’s important to believe in yourself, that you are their equals and deserve friendship as much as the next girl. Look for someone like yourself. Also, smile. If you find someone you like, invite her to your house for dinner or to a movie, say. You can be the one to initiate. You don’t need to wait for others. If the person doesn’t want to, don’t take it personally, just move on and invite someone else till you find some friends.

I know I was very shy, didn’t say a word and later wondered why I had no friends. I had really low self esteem. None of that helps.

Believe in yourself and take some risks. Good luck! 🙂
 
Aquilina16 said:
I’ve ruined so many relationships in the past (I’m a 16 year old girl) because of how complicated and overly sensitive I am to things. Every friend I’ve ever had, I’ve lost because they either found new friends or because I stopped talking to them for dumb reasons that I regret all the time. I’m the worst at making and keeping friends. I don’t even know how to be a friend because I have zero experience. I know I need to change, but I don’t know how to. I keep up a wall that never allows anyone to get too close to me because the thought of them ever getting any closer scares me to death. I know that in order to at least make one meaningful friend is to tear down that wall and let people in, but I feel like that’s almost impossible. Whenever someone clearly shows interest in being my friend (which is rare) I can never understand why. There’s nothing charming about me at all. In fact, I’m quite the opposite: bitter, judgmental, bad mood swings, and low energy. So I guess I should reword my question: If I pray hard enough to God, could he change me so that I can finally make and keep at least one friend?
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Making and keeping friends is not easy to do, at any age.

I recommend this book:

amazon.com/gp/product/0529111039?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00

Have your mom or dad read what it’s about and maybe they can get it for you. The author was on ewtn recently and I really like her advice regarding girls and friendships.
 
You have a big thing going for you …
And that is your 16 …
Great age to be at … Do you like playing a Musical instrument ?
You could join a Brass Band , that’s what my youngest son did at 15 .
It was not a school band … Was mostly Adults with a couple teens his age…
It was the greatest Fun … They played music in parks - Shopping Centres ,
You create great new friendships … It’s worth looking at …
Also there are Bush walking &. Rock Climbing Groups …
People around your age to Adults …
Lots of things to consider …
P M. Me if you wish …, always good for a Chat
 
The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen is another book that deals with friendship and lonelines, among other spiritual topics. It contains reflections on the theme of depending on God to fill our inner longings first so that we will be strong. That will help us be able to have good healthy friendships too. 🙂
 
Aquilina16 said:
I’ve ruined so many relationships in the past (I’m a 16 year old girl) because of how complicated and overly sensitive I am to things. Every friend I’ve ever had, I’ve lost because they either found new friends or because I stopped talking to them for dumb reasons that I regret all the time. I’m the worst at making and keeping friends. I don’t even know how to be a friend because I have zero experience. I know I need to change, but I don’t know how to. I keep up a wall that never allows anyone to get too close to me because the thought of them ever getting any closer scares me to death. I know that in order to at least make one meaningful friend is to tear down that wall and let people in, but I feel like that’s almost impossible. Whenever someone clearly shows interest in being my friend (which is rare) I can never understand why. There’s nothing charming about me at all. In fact, I’m quite the opposite: bitter, judgmental, bad mood swings, and low energy. So I guess I should reword my question: If I pray hard enough to God, could he change me so that I can finally make and keep at least one friend?
Click to expand...
If you are open to changing and ask God to help you, yes he will. It will not be a overnight process though. Significant change can take a good amount of time. God can intervene and perform a miracle but we should not count on that. God instantly took away my desire to get drunk when I was a alcoholic for example, but other things he let me fight on my own for a long time before I was able to change.

You would do well to do things where you can meet other people your age and make friends. Do not just wait for God to send someone to your doorstep. That most likely will not happen. You have to do your part.

Absolutely pray to God for a friend though. He loves you and understands that you need a friend. But my guess, and this is just my guess, is that God knows you are perfectly capable of making a friend on your own. I think you can, but yes absolutely ask God for a friend and he will answer you. I am sure of it. It is good you already see your mistakes and wish to correct them so young. You know there are people who are full grown adults who never get to that point in there lives about their flaws and you are already showing these signs of growth at 16? You will be okay. Good luck, God bless!
 
Matt 7:7-10
"“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish?

God will give us anything we ask for all he requires is faith: Matt 17:20
He said to them, “Because of your little faith. Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

trust in God and he will come through for you!

God bless,
Chuck
 
Aquilina16 said:
I’ve ruined so many relationships in the past (I’m a 16 year old girl) because of how complicated and overly sensitive I am to things. Every friend I’ve ever had, I’ve lost because they either found new friends or because I stopped talking to them for dumb reasons that I regret all the time. I’m the worst at making and keeping friends. I don’t even know how to be a friend because I have zero experience. I know I need to change, but I don’t know how to. I keep up a wall that never allows anyone to get too close to me because the thought of them ever getting any closer scares me to death. I know that in order to at least make one meaningful friend is to tear down that wall and let people in, but I feel like that’s almost impossible. Whenever someone clearly shows interest in being my friend (which is rare) I can never understand why. There’s nothing charming about me at all. In fact, I’m quite the opposite: bitter, judgmental, bad mood swings, and low energy. So I guess I should reword my question: If I pray hard enough to God, could he change me so that I can finally make and keep at least one friend?
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I think that it’s great that you are recognizing these traits in yourself. That’s a positive step, so good for you! 🙂 👍

Sure, you can pray to God to help you with this situation.

Think about activities that you like doing. Are there any after-school activities that you like, like school clubs that you could join, or anything like that? It’s a good way to meet some of your fellow classmates, who share the same interests as you. 🙂
 
LittleScoty said:
Sweetheart,

You already have the best friend in the world! Jesus! The bible tells us to seek the kingdom of God first and all else will follow. Try a youth group. Try two. Volunteer. Do you play any sports? Have you ever wanted to? Nows a great time to start. God is good and you’re gonna be ok. Dont give up on yourself or God.

Peace be with you sis
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Thank you for that advice. 🙂 I have tried sports, but it got ugly, so I stopped trying. However, I like the sound of volunteering. I could ask my mom! And yeah, I keep forgetting that Jesus is my friend. It’s really reasurring.
 
St_Francis said:
Have you seen a doctor about your mood swings and low energy? The cause could be something medical.
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Thank you for the suggestion, but I don’t think it’s medical. I think it’s a lack of sleep because of school (blech).
 
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