Will God give me a friend if I beg hard enough?

[Kenny_Kamel]

The best female friend I have ever had was an answer to consistent prayer. Around this time in 2012 I began seeing her at Daily Mass and then she just showed up at a friend’s Bible study. We talked there and I invited her to Stations of the Cross the next day. She lived a few blocks away and we began spending time with each other almost every day. We had an incredibly deep and meaningful relationship and encouraged each other in our faith and vocations in particular.

She has since become a religious sister with the Little Sisters of Jesus and I am still discerning my vocation. Suffice it all to say that I had been praying for someone like her to come into my life for months and God (AS ALWAYS) is so good in how He makes everything turn out exquisitely better than we ever could have hoped!

 

[3DOCTORS]

A bit of practical advice too. I’m old enough to be your grandma almost, yet I can still remember when I started to feel low self esteem and compare myself to my school peers. I was 7 or 8 years old, and in 3rd grade! Basically I took the teasing of the other kids too seriously. Another couple of years passed, and I went through a phase of putting on a little pre-puberty weight, getting glasses and braces on my teeth, and well, I think I thought I was not fit to be Godzilla’s wife! :bigyikes:

Now, of course, I can look back at pictures of myself from that time and see an ordinary girl who just had an exaggeratedly low opinion of herself. That girl assumed everyone thought she was ugly and awkward. Sure, there were times of social rejection and awkwardness, but it probably wasn’t nearly as bad as my mind inflated it into.

In my teenage years I had some improvement in that I had a nerdy girl posse (but that was before nerds and geeks were cool). Boys tended to overlook me, though, and I put a lot of focus on that as a way to beat myself up. Someone needed to shake me and make me STOP!

So I guess what I’m saying is, what you’re going through is not that uncommon, and try not to make it worse on yourself by focusing on the negative. Maybe try a little mental exercise in which, if you have a negative thought about yourself, your looks, your social abilities, your worth, etc., that you write down 5 positive things, or things you’re thankful for about your life. They can be simple things, even silly things if you can’t think of anything big. It doesn’t matter. Anything is fair game. Pretty soon this optimism will begin to crowd out the negativity. Chances are it will even begin to draw you out of your shell and give you confidence - but be patient, big changes don’t always happen overnight. Just do the task. Fake it till you make it.

Finally, take the long view. In just a few years, things are likely going to look much different. Life never stops having its peaks and valleys, but you won’t be the you you are today - there will be continuity, but there will also be change and development.

Remember that Jesus would still have died on the Cross if you were the only person on Earth. You’re pretty valuable, you know. :hug3:

 

[Sunbreak]

Yes, keep praying and God will help you. Also do what you can to help yourself. It’s easier to make friends with people who are doing activities you also enjoy, so any clubs or volunteer work can help with that. Don’t overlook resources like school counselors - you don’t have to be crazy to go to a counselor - he/she can also help you see alternative ways of doing things or dealing with your moods.

 

[smetobo]

God is compassionate and very understanding of our weaknesses and brokenness.
The Word of Psalm 34:18-20 and experience reveal that he’s always close to the brokenhearted,to those who are crushed in spirit, to those who cry deep within,and to the hopeless.
He can give you not only a friend, but much more along with it. Visit BPS Lay ministry blog and find some inspiration for life. Very practical guidance to improve your relatoionship with God and hear him speak to you like a friend every day.
Stay protected and blessed in Jesus’ name!

 

[St_Francis]

Yes.

So,if you have seen a doc about the low energy and mood swings, now you can work on figuring out what you have to offer to someone as a friend, and what you could do to develop more to offer. For example, you said you were bitter: what can you do to change that?

 

[Aquilina16]

So,if you have seen a doc about the low energy and mood swings, now you can work on figuring out what you have to offer to someone as a friend, and what you could do to develop more to offer. For example, you said you were bitter: what can you do to change that?

Well, I don’t really know how to change it… I feel bitter about a lot of things like watching a best friend forget about me as she made new cooler friends or now my father leaving when he got tired of living with us. I have a really hard time letting go and forgiving.

 

[katpants]

Well, I don’t really know how to change it… I feel bitter about a lot of things like watching a best friend forget about me as she made new cooler friends or now my father leaving when he got tired of living with us. I have a really hard time letting go and forgiving.

Hi there!

I was the same way (still am to be frank) as you in high school. I didn’t do drugs or drink so all my friends went and hung out with the kids who gave them pot. I felt like the 5th wheel most of the time.

I have online friends but I don’t have any “real life” friends. I don’t have anyone to go out for pizza with or hang out…and it’s just how it is with me. Here it’s a language barrier and culture barrier…and back home for me it’s attachments to the area. People think I’m a snob but I’m really REALLY shy and hard to get to know. My inner circle is better than Stalins lol

Forgiveness is hard and I struggle with it. Take that pain and give it to God. Trust if he’s moved people out of your life it’s for YOUR benefit. He will bring new people along, trust Him in that. I am a severe introvert and online friends work better for me…just how it is. I’m awkward in real life.

Things get better when you get older, it’s true. I love being 31…I don’t fit in but I don’t feel I have to. I just am my weird self and it’s okay! Hang in there!

Kat

 

[St_Francis]

Well, I don’t really know how to change it… I feel bitter about a lot of things like watching a best friend forget about me as she made new cooler friends or now my father leaving when he got tired of living with us. I have a really hard time letting go and forgiving.

Those really are tough things, esp your father breaking his vows.

A lot of times people think that forgiving means to just ignore the pain and act like nothing bad happened, but that is not the case. The best way I have found to look at forgiveness is to say: I belong to God. Those people offended God when they did something bad to me. Therefore, I will get out of the middle and just let God handle those people.

And the reason I had to do that was that holding on to those things did nothing to the other person, but really hurt me inside. I know God can deal with those people more effectively than I can, so I just leave it up to Him.

Pray for those who have hurt you, and let God deal with them. Repeat as needed, whenever it all comes back to you. Confess your resentment so you can get extra grace to help!

And if you find that bitterness is bothering you a lot, try first to gently turn your attention elsewhere. If that doesn’t work, pray for help, esp to St Michael the Archangel. Just keep praying for help for yourself and praying for the other person, and gradually your bitterness will grow dim. It may flare up from time to time and you will need to pray again, but it will get better.

 

[Aquilina16]

Those really are tough things, esp your father breaking his vows.

A lot of times people think that forgiving means to just ignore the pain and act like nothing bad happened, but that is not the case. The best way I have found to look at forgiveness is to say: I belong to God. Those people offended God when they did something bad to me. Therefore, I will get out of the middle and just let God handle those people.

And the reason I had to do that was that holding on to those things did nothing to the other person, but really hurt me inside. I know God can deal with those people more effectively than I can, so I just leave it up to Him.

Pray for those who have hurt you, and let God deal with them. Repeat as needed, whenever it all comes back to you. Confess your resentment so you can get extra grace to help!

And if you find that bitterness is bothering you a lot, try first to gently turn your attention elsewhere. If that doesn’t work, pray for help, esp to St Michael the Archangel. Just keep praying for help for yourself and praying for the other person, and gradually your bitterness will grow dim. It may flare up from time to time and you will need to pray again, but it will get better.

Thank you so much. I’ve never thought of forgiveness that way and just thinking about it already makes me feel a lot better. Thank you for helping me.

 

[St_Francis]

Thank you so much. I’ve never thought of forgiveness that way and just thinking about it already makes me feel a lot better. Thank you for helping me.

I am happy that I helped you, and I will pray for you!

Annie

 

[RedBasket]

Help others. That’s an awesome way to make friends. Help stray animals if you can.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Well, I don’t really know how to change it… I feel bitter about a lot of things like watching a best friend forget about me as she made new cooler friends or now my father leaving when he got tired of living with us. I have a really hard time letting go and forgiving.

I’m really sorry about your father and your friend. Those are both losses, in the case of your father a really huge one, and you are probably experiencing grief, which is a complex and unpredictable process. Grief can bring feelings that seem strange and are sometimes changeable; certain things - a song, a movie, a stressful day - might trigger floods of varying emotions. It can help to realize that these are very normal, very human ways of reacting to loss.

It’s definitely a time to stay very close to God, and to be good to yourself and know that it will take time to heal. Take care of your physical health the best you can - drink water, eat as healthy meals as you can (sometimes this is hard - either one can lose the appetite, or crave junk food for comfort). Get exercise when possible to help the body relax from tension and to produce endorphins in the brain. Above all, know that Jesus, Who calmed the storm at sea, is with you through these storms of the heart as well.