Will God help me?

[Shameless]

I’ve been struggling with sins of impurity for 20 years. I’ve often heard If we are in a state of mortal sin (no sanctifying grace) God does not hear our prayers. So my question is this: If I am in a state of mortal sin (have not gone to confession yet) and I am tempted to give in to an impure thought, if I then pray to not sin does God help me or not?
My problem is that when I commit 1 mortal sin, it is all down hill from there, I think well I’m already in a state of sin so why not just give in, I can’t get that kind of thought out of my head.

 

[BobCatholic]

First, go to confession.

Pray for God’s grace. He will give you the strength to overcome sin. THAT IS HIS WILL. He won’t go against His Will!

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Shameless, God is right there with you by virtue of the fact that you are feeling restless or badly about your ways. That is Him that you feel tugging at your heartstrings to follow Him. Now, I say to you, pick up your cross and follow Him. Your cross is the burden of the apetites for which you have lost control. He calls you by asking you to come to confession, to tell the priest that you have a long standing habit or addiction that you really want to rid yourself of. The Holy Spirit works through our confessor and when you talk to the priest you are talking to the Lord at that moment.

I too suffer and battle the enemy of impurity in my own way. It is a huge cross to carry and it is better done with the help of a priest. Let me tell you what I have reconciled with and how I am going to address it.

For years I had gone to confession rapidly firing off my sins in the hopes that Father would not ask any questions. The faster I rattled them off, the less likely he was to ask questions, I found. I changed priests with frequency so I wouldn’t be recognized and i always hid behind the screen.

I realized that this was not helping me. I needed to stop the “Drive Thru” confessions and have a “Dine-In” Confession. Over a weeks time, I felt a directive from God deep down in my heart that this practice needed to stop in order for me to win my battle. I had to find a priest and go have a lengthy discussion, with confession included. I needed to find a priest who would be my one and only confessor so that if I fell, I had no choice but to return to him and tell him that I erred again and what led up to. I wanted a priest who would give me the tough love that I needed, asking me the questions I didn’t want asked, and telling me things I didn’t want to hear. I needed to accept responsibility for my actions - especially for not coming down off the ladder of temptation when I was on the lower rungs.

I was horrified at the thought of telling any human of my sins face to face, but then realized there is nothing I can tell any veteran priest that he probably hasn’t heard over 100 times. He has probably helped a good many people to deal with their affliction.

Look around you and see if you can find a monastery where there are monks or contemplatives that can serve as confessor. This can be less intimidating than your pastor if that makes you uncomfortable. Or, visit a few churches in your area and see if any one priest seems to strike you as the one that can help you. Or, contact your archiocese by email and ask if they can send you information on priests that specialize in helping people with impure addictions.

One more thing. As you look through similar posts in this particular forum, you will find many web sites that deal with helping people to overcome these addictions. One that I recall is:

pornnomore.org

But there are many others out there.

You are not alone and believe me, God hears you and he is right there messing with your conscience to prompt you to do what you must. Answer his call my friend and don’t ever fall into despair or hopelessness.

I wrote this for myself and for others. I hope it helps give you the courage you need. See that Confession visit as the practice of humility - a virtue that pleases the Lord. It will take great courage to shed pride and practice virtue, but it is the first step you must take.

“Find your inner warrior. Your soul is your fort and you need to defend it. It will take every ounce of strength you have to hold the fort. When you are at war, ask the Lord for strength, courage and endurance to survive the minute, the hour, or the day. Be proud to live as a warrior for the Lord, conquering the mighty enemy within. All warriors live with the pain of battle wounds and so will your suffering be in following the way of the Lord. Please Him by offering your suffering up to Him for some greater cause.”

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

The link above will not work so I may have missed something.

Stay tuned and watch this thread. I’ve asked for a compilation of the many Catholic websites that helps people to overcome impurity.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Oops! Here it is…

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=662177#post662177

 

[urquhart]

Shameless, you are not alone! Many thousands of people struggle with these issues daily. Until you are able to go to confession, please pray the rosary frequently, several times a day, and always say a Hail Mary whenever you feel tempted. Mary will help you.

 

[FiremanFrank]

Shameless
I’ve often heard If we are in a state of mortal sin … God does not hear our prayers. So my question is this: If I am in a state of mortal sin and I am tempted to give in to an impure thought, if I then pray to not sin does God help me or not?.

from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

**

1856

** " Mortal sin, by attacking … charity - necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation: "

Shameless, while the Sacrament of Reconciliation is surely the normal setting for God seeking from someone a conversion of heart, the full extent of God’s Love and Mercy can not be put into a “box” (the only real thing that God CAN NOT do is sin!).

The above quote from the CCC clearly suggests that God will attempt “a new initiative of His Mercy” for that person so as to seek from him/her “a conversion of heart”.

It appears to me that your persistent desire to pray over your struggles is an indication that God is continually trying to reach out to you. So Don’t Ever Stop Praying!

The only person who wants you to stop praying or stop believing that God can still reach you no matter what - is Satan.

So the next time that you feel like God can not/will not hear your prayers for help …

Go Tell Satan To Drop Dead and then continue on in your prayers!

frank

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

FiremanFrank:

from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

Shameless, while the Sacrament of Reconciliation is surely the normal setting for God seeking from someone a conversion of heart, the full extent of God’s Love and Mercy can not be put into a “box” (the only real thing that God CAN NOT do is sin!).

The above quote from the CCC clearly suggests that God will attempt “a new initiative of His Mercy” for that person so as to seek from him/her “a conversion of heart”.

It appears to me that your persistent desire to pray over your struggles is an indication that God is continually trying to reach out to you. So Don’t Ever Stop Praying!

The only person who wants you to stop praying or stop believing that God can still reach you no matter what - is Satan.

So the next time that you feel like God can not/will not hear your prayers for help …

Go Tell Satan To Drop Dead and then continue on in your prayers!

frank

AMEN! to that last statement for sure. If you want to get under the skin of Satan, you have to do the very thing you don’t want to do - go seek reconciliation, repent, and move on. Let the priest help you with your issue tho.

 

[tcay584]

Shameless:

I’ve been struggling with sins of impurity for 20 years. I’ve often heard If we are in a state of mortal sin (no sanctifying grace) God does not hear our prayers. So my question is this: If I am in a state of mortal sin (have not gone to confession yet) and I am tempted to give in to an impure thought, if I then pray to not sin does God help me or not?
My problem is that when I commit 1 mortal sin, it is all down hill from there, I think well I’m already in a state of sin so why not just give in, I can’t get that kind of thought out of my head.

I don’t think God ignores someone’s prayers if they’re praying for his help to be godly, no matter what their state of grace (or lack thereof). The whole “giving up” thing is just what the devil would love you to do. I think you’d be surprised at how confessing your sins helps to help you to stop. I start thinking “Oh boy, I’m gonna have to go to confession, and I just went, and I really hate it when I keep going back for the same problem”. By the time that whole train of thought is done, I don’t want to do what I wanted to do at the start! Give it a try.
Regards,
Jennifer

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

I start thinking “Oh boy, I’m gonna have to go to confession, and I just went, and I really hate it when I keep going back for the same problem”.

That’s me too. Did that for years and that feeling of not wanting to go back because you repeat something is what leads to hopelessness and despair.

This is why I really think when we have a long standing problem, it might help to go sit down - mano a mano - with a priest and share the problem. Often times there are things that lead us into the temptation that we don’t see so it helps when the priest asks us questions.

I suffered from many subtle “winds of doctrine” and one of them was the “find a priest who won’t ask me questions I don’t want to answer and one who will won’t tell me what I don’t want to be told” doctrine.

Now, to “P”-off the devil, I’m going to march right into a meeting with a priest I’ve contacted and tell him I want him to be my confessor if I can trust him to do just that - ask me what I don’t want asked and tell me what I don’t want told. And, when and if he deems necessary - a shot of tough love. He will know that I may be coming back to say that I’ve fallen, but I’m keeping in mind that I can’t be anonymous before Christ so why be anonymous with the priest who represents him. I can only think that I will get more help than I would otherwise if I look Father right into the eyes and say, “I have a problem. I want to fix it and have tried it on my own and find that doesn’t work. In all humility, I need help”.

Peace!

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Please pardon me for saying “mano a mano” if you are a female, but I think you get the meaning either way. It takes courage.

Oh - and about the 1 mortal sin and the rest is downhill…been there done that. There’s a name for that and lots of people do it, but do mention this to father. It is…

The “I already have to go to confession so why deny myself more” Doctrine.

Pope Benedict was right when he said we bend to many winds of doctrine. I just didn’t realize how subtle some were.

 

[FiremanFrank]

Lux_et_veritas
Please pardon me for saying “mano a mano” if you are a female

Radical Feminists …

ATTACK - ATTACK - ATTACK

He, he. Sorry to throw you in the bag Lux.

But if they go after you - then they’ll be leaving me alone!

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Radical Feminists …

ATTACK - ATTACK - ATTACK

He, he. Sorry to throw you in the bag Lux.

But if they go after you - then they’ll be leaving me alone!

I’ve got news for you. I AM a female and radical feminists hate me. Bring 'em on!

 

[FiremanFrank]

Lux_et_veritas
I’ve got news for you. I AM a female …

Ummm. Yeah. I knew that.

You know …

The Forum Administrators should really consider having it’s members use the universal MALE and FEMALE icons in their “forum names”.

Because in the long run, doing so would make me look a whole lot less stupid!

(well, maybe not “a whole lot less” - but it would surely help!)

 

[Nan_S]

Shameless:

I’ve been struggling with sins of impurity for 20 years.

You keep confessing the same sin over and over. Many of us keep repeating certain sins. So what do you want, DIFFERENT mortal sins?

Shameless:

My problem is that when I commit 1 mortal sin, it is all down hill from there, I think well I’m already in a state of sin so why not just give in, I can’t get that kind of thought out of my head.

If I’ve already blown my diet by eating a piece of chocolate cake, does that mean that eating the rest of the cake won’t make a difference? Maybe I should add ice cream and nuts, too, so long as I’ve already blown my diet once today.

I know that sexual infidelity and chocolate cake have nothing to do with each other, unless you are kinky, but I’m just trying to point out the faulty rationalizing here.

 

[Nan_S]

One more thought: I keep telling my kids “Making a mistake is NOT justification for repeating it.”

It sounds like you may be dealing with an addiction, not just a repetitive sin. Have you asked your priest about getting a referral for some professional help?

 

[Shameless]

Hi everyone. Thanks for the help and support. I went to confession yesterday and 10 hours later I was back in my state of mortal sin. Now here I am today trying to find an available priest to hear my confession. I’m such an idiot.

 

[Fergal]

God helps those who help themselves.
I posted earlier a teaching from Our Late Beloved Holy Father Pope John Paul II on Fortitude.

On this the day of Pentecost, we must pray to the Almighty that He pour out in abundance the gift of Fortitude. I will place it here again!

FORTITUDE

 ***1. "Come, Holy   Spirit!". Dear brothers and sisters, this is the invocation which   insistently and confidently arises from the whole Church today, the Solemnity   of Pentecost: Come, Holy Spirit, come and***

 ***"on us who evermore

Thee confess and thee adore,
With thy sevenfold gifts descend" (Sequence of Pentecost).***

 ***Among these gifts of the   Spirit there is one on which I wish to dwell this morning: the gift of   Fortitude. In our time many extol physical force, to the extent of also   approving the extreme forms of violence. In fact, man has daily experience of   his own weakness, especially in the spiritual and moral sphere, yielding to   the impulses of internal passions and external pressures.***

 ***2. Precisely to resist   these multiple stimuli, it is necessary to have the virtue of fortitude, which   is one of the four cardinal virtues on which the whole** structure   of the moral life rests. It is the virtue by which one does not compromise in   fulfilling one's duty.*

 ***This virtue finds little   room in a society in which surrender and accommodation on the one hand, and   domination and toughness on the other, are widespread in economic, social and   political relations. Timidity and aggressiveness are two forms of lack of   fortitude which are often found in human behaviour; they result repeatedly in   the distressing sight of one who is weak and cowardly towards the powerful, or   of one who is arrogant and overbearing towards the defenceless.***

 ***3. Perhaps today as   never before the moral virtue of fortitude needs the support of the   corresponding gift of the Holy Spirit. The gift of Fortitude is a supernatural   impulse which gives strength to the soul, not only on exceptional occasions   such as that of martyrdom, but also in normal difficulties: in the struggle to   remain consistent with one's principles: in putting up with insults and unjust   attacks: in courageous perseverance on the path of truth and**uprightness,   in spite of lack of understanding and hostility.* 

 ***When, like Jesus in   Gethsemane, we experience "the weakness of the flesh" (cf. Mt   26:41; Mk 14:38), or rather, of human nature subject to physical and   psychological infirmities, we should ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of   Fortitude to remain firm and decisive on the path of goodness. Then we will be   able to repeat with St Paul: "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content   with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I   am weak, then I am strong" (1 Cor 12:10).***

 ***4. There are many of   Christ's followers - pastors and faithful, priests, religious, and laity,   engaged in every area of apostolic and social work who in all times, including   our own, have experienced and experience martyrdom of body and spirit, in   intimate union with the Mother of Sorrows beside the Cross. All have been   victorious thanks to this gift of the Spirit.***

 ***Let us ask Mary, whom we   now greet as Queen of Heaven, to obtain for us the gift of Fortitude in all   the vicissitudes of life and at the hour of death.***

 

[Nan_S]

Shameless:

Hi everyone. Thanks for the help and support. I went to confession yesterday and 10 hours later I was back in my state of mortal sin. Now here I am today trying to find an available priest to hear my confession. I’m such an idiot.

Why do you keep putting yourself in situations where you are tempted??? Can’t you find something else to do, like go out to a movie??? Or do you just enjoy being used by whatever guy is looking for an easy lay???

Just like the man with multiple DWI arrests who has to say, ‘I’m not going to get a DWI today because I’ll go to an AA meeting instead of a bar’, you HAVE to say ‘I’m not going to commit this sin today because I will go do something productive for my own benefit instead.’

I know this is harsh-sounding, but you need to take your penetential Act of Contrition prayer seriously before you can overcome this problem:
Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee, and I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments; but most of all because they have offended thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.

 

[Nan_S]

You need, also, to take a serious look at the situations you are in when you give in to temptation.

Do you get drunk first? If so, your real problem may be alcohol, so go to an AA meeting instead of a bar.

Is it always with the same guy, who lays a guilt trip on you about raging hormones and HIS physical suffering without you? I can tell you, that “argument” is just BULL! If you don’t “relieve his suffering” I can guarantee he will find another way. Does this guy have enough respect for you to give you a ring and set a wedding date? If not, why are you letting him use you?

Are you being used by a family member who is significantly older than you? Did it start when you were under the age of consent? This is ABUSE. If this is what happened, you need to see a professional counselor and consider going to the police. Do it for your sisters and cousins, because, in almost every case, you will NOT have been his only victim.

Write back. I will pray for you.