I need help, I admit it. I need an answer and I found God. But is it too late? About a year or so ago I started to watch pornography and masturbate, I had urges, they’re natural, aren’t they? But a couple of days ago I started to think about death and where I will go. Yes I am not afraid to admit it, I believe in evolution, does that make me damned for eternity? I listen to heavy rock, does that make me damned to hell? Is it okay to worship God and Jesus from your own home and soul, does that make me a sinner to not go to church? I was baptized as a Baptist (by my mother, which my dad did NOT allow), but Roman Catholic is just a calling to me. Am I going to hell? It’s a yes or no answer, I am scared, and I need answers. ):
First, I disagree with those here who viewed your question sympathetically. Your tone did not strike me as serious. But, that’s okay, as long as your motives are ultimately good.
But that is the whole question, isn’t it? ARE your motives ultimately good? I think that that is what God judges.
Next, re evolution, congratulations. I believe in evolution, too. I think that that is how God chose to create life, including Man in His image.
Re the other things, if one stands back and views you panoramically, those things – listening to heavy rock, not going to church, and masturbating to porn – may all be interrelated. They probably are. Why? Because our minds are integrated entities whether we like it or not.
Is it okay if I take a shot at picking-out a common theme in your symptoms?..
First, I listen to rock music, too. But I look for God in the sounds. (When He comes, there is to be a deafening trumpet blast from the sky, representing His power, I believe.) Do you? I think that some people try to drown-out the sound of a guilty conscience with loud music.
Second, no man is an island. When God made us, He made us social beings. We are intended to walk to God as a group, not alone. If one walks to God alone, it is probably in the wrong direction. Not going to church may be a secondary expression of guilt. Just maybe, when you go to church, you are uncomfortable when people look at you, because you don’t like what they see, and so you don’t go to church?
Third, the pornography/masturbation thing is a really juicy sin. The folks here love damning pornography/mastubation sinners to Hell. You are a sinner who sins juicy sins! Go to Hell, sinner! Ahhhh, it feels so good to say that! (Read Aldous Huxley’s
The Devils of Loudon. There, the devils of Loudon were those who enjoyed judging the naughty priest and his fleshly sins – not the naughty priest.)
But, did it ever occur to you that your pornography/masturbation sin is also merely a symptom for a deeper moral disease?
And, did it ever occur to you that in committing the pornography/masturbation sin, you might be playing the same game as those who enjoyed judging the naughty priest in
The Devils of Loudon – you are enjoying judging yourself!!! Why??? Because low self-esteem leads to even more juicy, sweet pornography/masturbation sin!!!
Could it be that we haven’t even mentioned your real sin, yet?
When God puts us here, He puts us here to self-actualize – to “be all we can be,” like they say in those Army ads.
When you die, do you know what Question Number One will be?
Will it be, Did you listen to rock music, Questioning Catholic?
Will it be, Did you go to church, Questioning Catholic?
Will it be, Did you enjoy the sweet lollipop between your legs, Questioning Catholic?
No.
It will be, “How did you improve the world I gave you? How did you make it a better place? I gave you the assets to do it. Did you?”
Or, were you afraid?
Are you just Lot’s wife, looking back? Are you the man discussed in Matthew 25:24-30? Read Matthew 25:24-30 again and again and again.
Is that you, Mr. Rock Music - No Church - Porno / Masturbator?
Is your real sin – the thing which leads to the others – not getting off your tail and courageously making the world a better place, and instead burying your talent?
I don’t know. Do you?
Do your students a favor and tell them that.
At least so long as it’s not tempting you to sin in some way. Masturbation is a sin though, a serious one. The Roman Catholic Church is the true apostolic faith, talk to a priest, you’ll find as much good advice as bad here, better to trust an ordained minister.