Will my marriage be recognized by the church?

[aubrey_guy]

Hi all, and thanks in advance for taking the time to read my dilemma!
My fiance and I have postponed our wedding for almost two years because of this problem: He is not Catholic, and he does not want to be married in the Church. I was raised Catholic, but I have not been practicing for the last 10 years because I have “faith issues.” My parents, however, are devoutly Catholic. My mother also has Scrupulous OCD, which causes her extreme anxiety when she feels that her loved ones are in the state of mortal sin.
My understanding is that it would be possible for us to have a legitimate but non-Eucharistic Catholic wedding in the church because my fiance was baptized Catholic once-upon-a-time. My fiance would prefer to have a civil service, but I am afraid that my parents will not accept our marriage and will still consider us to be “living in sin.” His suggested compromise was to have a priest preform a non-Eucharistic Catholic ceremony not in a church (ie. in a garden, beach, etc.) Is that ever done? I can’t imagine that we will find a priest who is willing to accommodate us in that way, especially since neither of us are practicing Catholics and this is mainly to appease my parents. I want to keep my parents happy, but I also do not want to make a mockery of a sacrament.

I am hoping that any of you who are familiar with the laws of the Catholic Church, or who have had similar situations, could weigh in with your advice. Any help is greatly appreciated!!!

 

[Phemie]

Talk to your priest. It’s unlikely that he will consent to celebrate your marriage outside but he’ll probably have no problem with celebrating it within a Liturgy of the Word (3 readings, the exchange of consent and rings, the nuptial blessing).

 

[TheDoctor]

As Phemie said, talk to your Priest. I may be remembering this incorrectly, however I believe in order to have a wedding outside of a church building you need permission from your Bishop, not just the pastor.

Something else to consider: Although you are both “no longer practicing” you are both still Catholic (since you were both baptized Catholic) so both are expected to follow the rules of the Church. How do you both feel about mandatory pre-cana before the wedding? Is your fiancee willing to do this?

Please forgive me for saying this if it offends you, it is not meant that way: You don’t really sound like either of you should be married in the Church. He does not want to be married in the Church. You have not been practicing for 10 years due to “faith issues” (which I read as “I don’t understand or agree with what God teaches through His Church”). You owe it to yourselves and to God to take a hard look at this because to be married in the Church is to make a lifelong commitment to each other to live a *Catholic *marriage. If you are not going to do that, have the courage to face your parents and say do. To do otherwise is to make a mockery of the Sacrament.

 

[Jim_Roberts]

I am not sure that you are using the correct terminology–I never heard of a Eucharistic Wedding.

Perhaps you meant that the priest just have the wedding without the mass–this would be fine.

Even if you only have a simple wedding without the Liturgy, the priest can include Communion, also.

If this bothers, talk to your pastor; they are trained in these matters of concern.

God bless you in your decision.

 

[Vico]

I am not sure that you are using the correct terminology–I never heard of a Eucharistic Wedding.

Perhaps you meant that the priest just have the wedding without the mass–this would be fine.

Even if you only have a simple wedding without the Liturgy, the priest can include Communion, also.

If this bothers, talk to your pastor; they are trained in these matters of concern.

God bless you in your decision.

Eucharistic Wedding = Nuptial Mass

drvc.org/the-chancery/wedding-liturgy-guidelines.html