Willing for Disobedience

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Epistemes

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I’ve not been to Mass in 2 weeks, and I don’t intend to go back anytime soon. I’ve allowed my addiction to masturbation to rule over me. I don’t pray anymore.
 
Epistemes said:
I’ve not been to Mass in 2 weeks, and I don’t intend to go back anytime soon. I’ve allowed my addiction to masturbation to rule over me. I don’t pray anymore.
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My friend, don’t beat yourself up over this…just fight the fight! God is pleased if you struggle, and don’t embrace this action. Don’t let the folks on CAF make you think you are a super sinner or anything…they can have this effect…they did to me…but after much counsel from actual priests trained in this area, I no longer despair. Just pray, hope, and love. God knows your struggles, your hardwiredness for this act…when you fall, if it wasn’t intentional; if you were swept away by the passion of it all and couldn’t control yourself, you haven’t cut yourself off from God’s grace…talk to your confessor and be re-assured!
 
ForwardProgress said:
talk to your confessor and be re-assured!
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Yes, go to confession immediately and be very open with your confessor. Explain to him why you commit your particular sins and how you resolve to avoid the temptations and sins with God’s grace. Remember the Prodigal Son; God rejoices for a penitant sinner.
 
Epistemes said:
I absolutely despise confession.
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😦

Try to remember this, which Jesus told St. Faustina:
Our Lord said “When you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul…” and “Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy” (1602) Make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is… only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest that I am making use of; **open your soul in confession to Me, and I will fill it with My light." **(1725)
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It’s not always easy for me to go to confession, but it is always good for us. :hug1:
 
Epistemes said:
I absolutely despise confession.
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Well, it doesn’t really matter whether you like this Sacrament or not, does it? We aren’t called to like everything we do for Christ’s sake - we are called to DO it (and in spite of any self-loathing may we feel at the time).

Since you enjoy Carmelite spirituality, take heart from these words of St. John of the Cross:
[Y]ou should never set your eyes upon the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of the work at hand as a motive for doing it or failing to do it, but upon doing it for God. Thus you must undertake all things, agreeable or disagreeable, for the sole purpose of pleasing God through them.
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To do this with fortitude and constancy and acquire the virtues quickly, you should have care always to be inclined more to the difficult than to the easy, to what is rugged rather than to what is soft, to what is hard and distasteful in a work rather than to its delightful and pleasant aspects, and do not go about choosing what is less a cross, for that is a light burden, and the heavier a burden is, the lighter it becomes when borne for Christ.
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FCEGM said:
Well, it doesn’t really matter whether you like this Sacrament or not, does it? We aren’t called to like everything we do for Christ’s sake - we are called to DO it (and in spite of any self-loathing may we feel at the time).
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I have nothing against the sacrament, I just despise having to truncate what’s on my soul so that other people waiting outside the confessional get their time too. When all I want to do is just talk to someone…and have them understand…
 
Epistemes said:
I have nothing against the sacrament, I just despise having to truncate what’s on my soul so that other people waiting outside the confessional get their time too. When all I want to do is just talk to someone…and have them understand…
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Call your Parish office and make an appointment for Confession. Your Priest will meet with you, and you will have a scheduled block of time with no one waiting in line.

Make that call first thing in the morning.
 
I already spent 45 minutes in confession by appointment like 2 months ago. I can’t do this all the time for something so little. Wasting the priest’s time.
 
Many of the most holy saints went to confession weekly or more often. Jesus is waiting for you in Confession, make that call.
 
My priest says he’s too busy. Plus, I don’t like my priest. I don’t like any of the priests I’ve been to confession with.
 
Wow, my thread died young. “Go to confession,” and that’s it.
 
:confused: I did not see anything in your original post that asked a single question for help of any kind. It seemed to be posted just as a ruse to shock everyone and/or allow yourself to vent, as you did in this thread.
I had a very rough morning full of loneliness and self-pity …
I had that companionship with a couple of buddies from work who I would go out drinking with and to strip clubs with.
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First of all, is this another “rough morning” type of thread?
Secondly, do you not see the source of your problem lies in the type of places you frequent?

This is very puzzling, because in this thread on 8/31, you spoke of desires for dating and marriage, whereas five days earlier you began this thread speaking about a call to the priesthood.

One might really wonder who it is we are responding to, and just how sincere anything you say happens to be. If you recall, I did send you a PM from another thread to which you did not have the courtesy to respond, so it leads one to believe you may be just a game-player.

Two cents.
 
One, indeed, might really wonder.

I knew this would happen someday, though. I knew one day that the fact I don’t pretend to know what I’m doing would catch up with me. And I knew that one day people would stop caring for this boy who cried wolf, but the wolf has already devoured the sheep…now what’s left? I’ve tried being a good, honest, devout Christian so many times. I find that I love God and wish to serve him lifelong: so what? I then get lonely and find that I want a girlfriend: so what? If you can’t handle the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing then stop caring along with everyone else who breezes through my threads then says, “Get help.”
 
Epistemes said:
I already spent 45 minutes in confession by appointment like 2 months ago. I can’t do this all the time for something so little. Wasting the priest’s time.
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This is the priest’s job – to help those in need. You are in need – you are not wasting his time!
kage_ar said:
Many of the most holy saints went to confession weekly or more often. Jesus is waiting for you in Confession, make that call.
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Ditto! 🙂
Epistemes said:
One, indeed, might really wonder.

I knew this would happen someday, though. I knew one day that the fact I don’t pretend to know what I’m doing would catch up with me. And I knew that one day people would stop caring for this boy who cried wolf, but the wolf has already devoured the sheep…now what’s left? I’ve tried being a good, honest, devout Christian so many times. I find that I love God and wish to serve him lifelong: so what? I then get lonely and find that I want a girlfriend: so what? If you can’t handle the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing then stop caring along with everyone else who breezes through my threads then says, “Get help.”
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Epistemes, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time right now. :hug1: Unfortunately, there is only so much that any of us can do to help you through a forum like this, that’s why everyone is suggesting you speak to a priest. If you aren’t comfortable going to your parish priest, find another one nearby. Please, just find a priest and lay everything on the line – everyone here is praying for you. I don’t know the details of your life, but perhaps counseling in addition to speaking with a priest would be helpful…

Please, remember this (I already posted it, but it’s worth reading again):
Our Lord said “When you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul…” and “Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy” (1602) Make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is… only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest that I am making use of; open your soul in confession to Me, and I will fill it with My light." (1725)
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Counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling counseling…

I’m so sick of that word.
 
What is it that you would like anyone here to say or do? People have offered heartfelt, compassionate suggestions and prayers…if there is something specific you need, can you communicate that to us?

ETA: I guess you deleted your last post. :confused: 😦
 
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