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Catholicnow
Guest
I had a lot of Catholics tell me “We don’t do that stuff”, it’s a different mindset they hold hands but really don’t try to be a community beyond that.
I’ve done that before.
What are Vinnies?
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M
mark_a
Guest
You can’t get much more Catholic than that.
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Godblessed
Guest
I think this is a very interesting point. As a young Catholic who was living in apathy for so long I used to sit in church for years and feel bored. i went because my mother or grandmother forced me. Personally, I feel that because of the relationship I have with Christ now, Mass has become totally different. I have visited many charismatic or pentecostal churches that seem more lively and vibrant. It does seem as though those churches have greater fellowship. They are very concerned about their members and particularly their youth. Not so in many Catholic churches, often times because there are people in positions in the church who aren’t welcoming and engaging. I made a promise to God this year to become more involved in church. I wanted to help out with the soup kitchen. Feed the hungry, that’s a corporal work of mercy right. I got up and went to the soup kitchen to offer my assistance and was basically turned away because there is a group of little old ladies who run the soup kitchen and they don’t need my help. I was disappointed but not discouraged. One day I will get back to the soup kitchen but in the main time I have committed myself to our church’s youth ministry. I tell myself that I don’t go to church to make friends, socialize or be entertained but I would love for there to be greater fellowship, that is the christian way. The other day I introduced myself to a young lady in my church, trying to be friendly that’s all. She didn’t even recognize me and she sits in the pew behind me. Working in the youth ministry, the youth say all the time that church is dead and boring. I feel that is because of apathy. The sermons are pretty good in my opinion but that is only my opinion i guess. Most young Catholics where I am from aren’t properly taught the faith and therefore don’t appreciate. For goodness sakes, we had a bible quiz this past Sunday and they didn’t even know scripture. Fellowship is needed, yes. But we must always preach faith without compromise. Fellowship is something all should engage in but fellowship is not the true reason we go to church. If I don’t receive communion I feel empty. In most pentecostal churches I have been to, it seems as though if you don’t get a good work out or there is not a special anointing, you didn’t really go to church. That’s not trying to bash anyone’s faith and practices, I love the energy but I usually don’t get enough substance from it all, that is why I love my Catholic faith but i want to see Catholics more knowledgeable and united, especially the young people. I certainly will endeavor to do my part.
God blessed
God blessed
M
mybeloveds
Guest
I know you really don’t want to hear this, but if you really want it then you have to be the one to push the rock up hill. I grew up in the Catholic Church. My church is pretty dull, but has a few nice groups. Nothing great and exciting. I went to youth group and went to every youth conference, event, etc. that I could find.
As an adult I have found it hard to be that involved and I have missed the “fun” things that I did outside of mass as a kid…
So I am currently pushing a bolder uphill (with some help from my husband) and it’s hard, but for so many years people have stood back and said, “Why is no one doing anything? This isn’t fun. You be the one to do it.” We’ve lost a lot of the fellowship over the years. If you really want it- make it happen.
Aside from our jobs and busy lives we now are the high school youth ministers (the only volunteer youth ministers in the Diocese that I know of!) because I thought it was terrible that the kids had no group to meet with! We also joined the Respect Life committee and attempt to be active with that. And most recently we started a 20s and 30s couples group out of our chuch but open do any church in the diocese.
If you read nothing else, read this: I have had a countless number of people tell me that there is a young adults group at the Cathedral, as if to say, “why bother with another group just for couples, we only need one like it?!” It is a constant uphill battle to prove that we, as a Church, deserve more than just ONE group out of 10+ churches in the area. It’s tough, but somebody has to do it, right? Out of 10+ churches we have maybe 8 members right now (4 couples). It is not always fun having to plan this stuff and be the one to push the rock, but it will be in the end. Work for the greater good.
Bring the wonderfulness of fellowship that you learned from our Protestant brothers and sisters back to the Church. Maybe we’re a little lost and have forgotten how it’s done. Show us. It’s much better to work for it than to sit around complaining about it not being there. It’ll happen eventually. It didn’t disappear overnight and it won’t come back any quicker.
Lastly, I designed our group after another group in the Diocese of Chicago (I think Chicago?). They have at least 10 different types of these groups! And I’m geeting flack for wanting to start one! It has to start somewhere though!
As an adult I have found it hard to be that involved and I have missed the “fun” things that I did outside of mass as a kid…
So I am currently pushing a bolder uphill (with some help from my husband) and it’s hard, but for so many years people have stood back and said, “Why is no one doing anything? This isn’t fun. You be the one to do it.” We’ve lost a lot of the fellowship over the years. If you really want it- make it happen.
Aside from our jobs and busy lives we now are the high school youth ministers (the only volunteer youth ministers in the Diocese that I know of!) because I thought it was terrible that the kids had no group to meet with! We also joined the Respect Life committee and attempt to be active with that. And most recently we started a 20s and 30s couples group out of our chuch but open do any church in the diocese.
If you read nothing else, read this: I have had a countless number of people tell me that there is a young adults group at the Cathedral, as if to say, “why bother with another group just for couples, we only need one like it?!” It is a constant uphill battle to prove that we, as a Church, deserve more than just ONE group out of 10+ churches in the area. It’s tough, but somebody has to do it, right? Out of 10+ churches we have maybe 8 members right now (4 couples). It is not always fun having to plan this stuff and be the one to push the rock, but it will be in the end. Work for the greater good.
Bring the wonderfulness of fellowship that you learned from our Protestant brothers and sisters back to the Church. Maybe we’re a little lost and have forgotten how it’s done. Show us. It’s much better to work for it than to sit around complaining about it not being there. It’ll happen eventually. It didn’t disappear overnight and it won’t come back any quicker.
Lastly, I designed our group after another group in the Diocese of Chicago (I think Chicago?). They have at least 10 different types of these groups! And I’m geeting flack for wanting to start one! It has to start somewhere though!
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Lady_Mariegrace
Guest
I feel very defeated trying to explain my position - like stopping the flood of water with a sieve. I have been attending one of the largest Catholic churches in my city since 2004 and pursued an annulment, recieved it, my 2nd marriage was then considered valid but not convalidated since we were baptized persons when married, was received into the church advent 2008 and am now divorced again. throughout those years i have attended with my family en masse at least 1/2 the extra-curricular activities that pertained to us, did CRHP the full year, did a Catholic Marriage Encounter, attend reconciliation as well as my kids do too, participated in various Bible studies, meetings, conferences in the area besides my church (all Catholic) and did not make one friend that i could call on during my difficulties with my husband over all that time. i went to the pastor and a deacon re: our marriage problems and they had no answers except pray the rosary. I have sat in mass and cried over the loneliness surrounded by people. no one said a word to me. I had to join a support group at a protestant church to get anyone that i could reach out to during the abusiveness of my marriage. I have been raised as a christian all my life, making a personal decision at the age of 13 and never walked away from it. Throughout the years i have taught Sunday school to all ages except adults. i was on track to become a small group leader at my church when my pastor died and that is the time i began to pursue interest in the Catholic faith. i have asked my RCIA leader, the religious education director about me using the gifts that i have for teaching and my extensive knowledge of the word and because i have no experience in the church (i am an unknown) i was turned down. i might as well be invisible. i am a faithful Catholic Christian but there is a wall around which i cannot penetrate and you can call it whatever you want to and blame me somehow but i have done all that i know to do and know no other answers. i have to reach out to protestants for any kind of fellowship, support, friendship during all this. i am welcome to go teach or pray or minister at their churches because i have a proven track record with them. i am sitting on the vine dying figuratively speaking and do not feel any hope for the situation so i will be faithful to the Church and the catechism and attend mass and i will get my needs met at protestant church and live with that. i do not take their communion and i do not hide the fact that i am Catholic. Don’t you understand how that all hurts?
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cctabb
Guest
:console:
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BettyM
Guest
I don’t understand why there isn’t anything going on in the Catholic churches around you. All of the Catholic churches around here have something going on at least once in a while. I find that surprising to me because that is one of the problems I found in the protestant churches. There were small groups and more small groups and this was encouraged in an extreme amount to the point that there wasn’t anything else. I have just returned to the Catholic church but unless it was a mainline protestant church in my 14 years out there, there were very few to nothing in the way of fellowship, picnics and potlucks. It was small group after small group and half of them fell apart, if they even got started.
As far as boring homilies, that is not what going to mass on Sunday is about. I found that if I go to mass hoping to get a great homily to make me feel full or fed when I leave I have looked at mass wrong. In the Gospels, specifically the story of the men on the road to Emmaus, they didnot see Jesus until the breaking of the bread. He had talked and talked to them opening up many scriptures. Their hearts burned but they did not see Him until they broke bread together.
The homily is meant to explain the Bible readings just heard. Mass is not to be entertaining. We are there to pray and draw close to the Lord not the pastor or priest. It’s not about the pastor or priest. It is not about entertainment and fun… It’s about Jesus and prayer. The grass is always greener on the other side. They are starving out there. I know that because they hop from one denomination to another complaining about not being fed.
Protestant churches know in order to get people they have to be entertaining because the closeness of the Lord is not there. They believe people don’t want to pray, and people don’t want to listen to boring sermons, so they sing and clap their hands and play games and give 5 point sermons that include a couple of Bible verses, each one coming from a different Bible version and put on skits and plays and in the beginning and at the end they throw in a short prayer and call it worship.
If you can’t find something at the Church you are attending maybe look at the diocesan office. Call your chuch and ask what you can do to get involved somewhere. You have to be the one to reach out if you are looking for fellowship. I have found in life if I wait for opportunity to come to me, or someone else to start something it probably won’t happen.
Remember the grass is always greener on the other side but I just came from there and I am just coming back to the Church and let me tell you it is nothing but artificial turf.
Where the bishop appears, there let the
people be, just as where Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. Ignatius of Antioch 50-117 AD ./I]
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BettyM
Guest
I am very sorry for your situation. I know what it is like to be in a group of people and not have any friends. I am not a strong outgoing person so I get bypassed in many situations, left feeling sad and lonely. People don’t always reach out. People can be very insensitive and get very wrapped up in their own issues they forget about reaching out to others.
I won’t pretend to have any answers for you except I will pray for you.
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Lazarette
Guest
Mariegrace,
I’m sorry to hear your difficult situation. There are some situations that others simply don’t understand. Others not understanding is part of that particulalr cross that some people are asked to carry.
My first reaction was astonishment that the Religious Ed person turned you away when you offered to teach but then I thought back to parishes I’ve belonged to and yes, that did happen.
Another thought is that it seems a given that after a divorce, a person has some raw edges and the best antidote for that is Eucharistic Adoration and/or the Sorrowful mysteries of the rosary. Whatever you’re going through right now, Jesus went before you during His Passion and Crucifixion. You might also spend some time with Mary because she certainly knows what it’s like to suffer. If, coming from a Protestant background, Mary is not familar to you, this is a good time to get to know her.
The balance between prayer time and social time (and social time doesn’t need to be with those in your parish but keep looking for possiblities), anyway how you balance prayer and social time is for you to decide.
If you go to the tabs at the top of the screen and click on Groups, there’s a social group called Good Grief that you might want to look into.
Perservere. I’ll say a prayer for you.
I’m sorry to hear your difficult situation. There are some situations that others simply don’t understand. Others not understanding is part of that particulalr cross that some people are asked to carry.
My first reaction was astonishment that the Religious Ed person turned you away when you offered to teach but then I thought back to parishes I’ve belonged to and yes, that did happen.
Another thought is that it seems a given that after a divorce, a person has some raw edges and the best antidote for that is Eucharistic Adoration and/or the Sorrowful mysteries of the rosary. Whatever you’re going through right now, Jesus went before you during His Passion and Crucifixion. You might also spend some time with Mary because she certainly knows what it’s like to suffer. If, coming from a Protestant background, Mary is not familar to you, this is a good time to get to know her.
The balance between prayer time and social time (and social time doesn’t need to be with those in your parish but keep looking for possiblities), anyway how you balance prayer and social time is for you to decide.
If you go to the tabs at the top of the screen and click on Groups, there’s a social group called Good Grief that you might want to look into.
Perservere. I’ll say a prayer for you.
B
BernadetteM
Guest
I agree with what Betty M has stated. I have belonged to my parish for over two years. I converted several years ago and it took years to find a parish I felt comfortable in.
I am not an outgoing person and due to family issues mostly health, I have not been able to join any of the groups at church. I am also single, which whether it is a protestant church or Catholic I feel it is much more difficult to make friends. This is also true in the secular world. Why that is I don’t know.
As a protestant yes I would go to coffee hour and talk to people, but there was no one who really was close to me outside of church services.
My friend belongs to a mega church and as Betty said it is all entertainment and small groups. My friend belongs to a small group and really doesn’t know too many outside of that group. The whole church is broken into these groups. Her husband just died and when he was alive it was easier for her to have fellowship as a couple. Also her cousin is the Pastor who started the church. The only thing he does is write a sermon for one of the services, he has all kinds of ministers to conduct all the other services.
She has no friends outside of this church and has allowed herself to become isolated from the world. If she left that church it is doubtful that the group would still be close to her.
I have just recently met some people within my parish and find that they are supportive and helpful to me. I know it will take time to become closer to them as it would in any situation. I also feel that I must look at myself and ask myself is some of my problems developing friendships something that I am doing or not doing.
If your in a large parish and can find a smaller one where people seem more friendly you might start attending. Do pray and ask the Lord to open doors for you. We are all unique and I have found that working on my spirituality has helped. I have had a very rough life and through the Catholic Church have found a deep faith that has carried me through. It might take time, as I have found that praying for solutions don’t always come soon. But a door has been opened for me just recently and some of the medical problems within my family might be resolved. We as Catholics must carry our cross and offer up our sufferings to God. It isn’t easy, but He will carry you and bless you for being faithful.
Please realize that there are many people just like you out here, so don’t feel so alone. Some people just attract people to themselves and I think it is their positive attitude.
As a protestant there were many clicks in my church and I never seemed to fit in. At the time I was married but my husband was not a member, so I was considered single. I felt excluded by the married groups, but I went to worship God and my family came first so I guess I never cared about being ignored.
Try saying hello to people at church and I am sure that there is some type of service group you can get involved in. Most parishes welcome anyone who is willing to help out. Your calling might not be teaching etc., but there are many ways of serving the parish.
As I have told my children it is difficult to make real friends no matter whether at work or school etc. I pray the rosary much more often now and it takes time, but now I find that quiet time I spend gives me a sense of peace.
May our Lord open doors for you and give you the fellowship you so desire.
God Bless
Bernadette
I am not an outgoing person and due to family issues mostly health, I have not been able to join any of the groups at church. I am also single, which whether it is a protestant church or Catholic I feel it is much more difficult to make friends. This is also true in the secular world. Why that is I don’t know.
As a protestant yes I would go to coffee hour and talk to people, but there was no one who really was close to me outside of church services.
My friend belongs to a mega church and as Betty said it is all entertainment and small groups. My friend belongs to a small group and really doesn’t know too many outside of that group. The whole church is broken into these groups. Her husband just died and when he was alive it was easier for her to have fellowship as a couple. Also her cousin is the Pastor who started the church. The only thing he does is write a sermon for one of the services, he has all kinds of ministers to conduct all the other services.
She has no friends outside of this church and has allowed herself to become isolated from the world. If she left that church it is doubtful that the group would still be close to her.
I have just recently met some people within my parish and find that they are supportive and helpful to me. I know it will take time to become closer to them as it would in any situation. I also feel that I must look at myself and ask myself is some of my problems developing friendships something that I am doing or not doing.
If your in a large parish and can find a smaller one where people seem more friendly you might start attending. Do pray and ask the Lord to open doors for you. We are all unique and I have found that working on my spirituality has helped. I have had a very rough life and through the Catholic Church have found a deep faith that has carried me through. It might take time, as I have found that praying for solutions don’t always come soon. But a door has been opened for me just recently and some of the medical problems within my family might be resolved. We as Catholics must carry our cross and offer up our sufferings to God. It isn’t easy, but He will carry you and bless you for being faithful.
Please realize that there are many people just like you out here, so don’t feel so alone. Some people just attract people to themselves and I think it is their positive attitude.
As a protestant there were many clicks in my church and I never seemed to fit in. At the time I was married but my husband was not a member, so I was considered single. I felt excluded by the married groups, but I went to worship God and my family came first so I guess I never cared about being ignored.
Try saying hello to people at church and I am sure that there is some type of service group you can get involved in. Most parishes welcome anyone who is willing to help out. Your calling might not be teaching etc., but there are many ways of serving the parish.
As I have told my children it is difficult to make real friends no matter whether at work or school etc. I pray the rosary much more often now and it takes time, but now I find that quiet time I spend gives me a sense of peace.
May our Lord open doors for you and give you the fellowship you so desire.
God Bless
Bernadette
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Amy1966
Guest
Hello Everyone,
This thread is an interesting read. There is one thing that is missing in all of the chatter; Christ!
When someone is looking for all the “fun stuff” and calling the Word of God “boring”, which I believe the Homily is the reading and exposition of the Word, please correct me since I am not a Catholic, but when seeking a church - the most important factor is Jesus Christ. Is the church’s primary focus on Jesus, Christ-centered? That includes the additional ministries that bring in the fellowship. It doesn’t have to be Jesus 24/7, but when fellowshipping there should be a time for prayer and thanksgiving always.
The idea of starting your own fellowship group within your own church is a great idea, but it must be focused on Christ and I would talk to the elders before perusing as a courtesy and for general guidance. Finding a church is not an easy thing to do, but Scripture has a lot to say concerning the Pastors and deacons and Jesus said a lot in Revelation 2 & 3 about what is good and what is not so good in a church. Use those guidelines and we can all be blessed.
In His love,
Amy
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Hiskid1973
Guest
Wow your post made my heart ache…Lord, you know the hurting heart of this dear daughter of Your…Minister deeply into her spirit…Surround her with You peace and love…Open up a door where she is needed…Let her see the plans a purpose You have for her…In the matchless name of our Savior and Lord, Jesus…
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tweetymom
Guest
And I will add a big amen. Howis the family, still praying. Peace.
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Hiskid1973
Guest
I don’t know where you were at to witness that but it hasn’t been true to churches I went to in my almost 40 years of walking with Christ…
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Bob_Crowley
Guest
With our Australian penchant for shortening everything, Vinnies is our local term for St. Vincent de Paul Society.
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tweetymom
Guest
Been to a lot of churches and never has been true in the ones I attended. Main thing is Jesus Christ.
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Hiskid1973
Guest
Hey Sis…The little one is very good shape…Mom was closed up yesterday from gall bladder, spleen removal and liver repair…She is being weaned off the sedative but has brain swelling and they don’t know what damage has occurred the brain. Hopefully she will awaken soon…We are just resting in the Lord…Many family members are rallied around…God bless you, thank you and others in this thread for your concern and prayer…Kim
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dentonlee
Guest
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dentonlee
Guest
i hear what you are saying…i was raised a southern baptist and married a catholic…i find the fellowship completely lacking in the catholic church…people march in receive the eucharist and then rush out…we have been to churches from florida to seattle and they are all the same…very hard to meet people and have friendships develop…i feel if you want a deeper relationship with other christians you have to go to a protestant church…perhaps your kids could visit and form their own opinions…the bottom line is not religion, but our walk with christ and growing in holiness and righteousness…i need good food for my soul and well as my body…keep praying about this and let the holy spirit lead…god bless, george
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tweetymom
Guest
Agreed. We travelalot and when we go to a Church in a strange town, not one person says welcome. But when I go to a protestant Church almost everyone welcomes you and shows an interest. Invites you to join them for lunch or if a gathering is going on in church to that.
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