Withheld Paychecks, what to do?

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KC89

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Hi all.

I’ve worked for my husband’s brother for about a year now. We got married 4 months ago, and since then, he hasn’t given me a single paycheck for my work. We’ve been getting by as best we can, but our savings have run out, and now we can’t afford our bills if I don’t get a check soon.

Normally, I would just get an attorney and sue for my back wages, but this is my brother in law. When I’ve confronted him about this before, he’s said he’ll “pay me soon”. It’s been 4 months. When my husband confronted him about it, he told him that it was between us, as “employer and employee” and my husband should butt out. When I told him I would not be able to make rent if I don’t get paid, he chastised me for living paycheck to paycheck. Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck until I went without a paycheck for 4 months.

I am very frustrated, and unsure of what to do. My husband could borrow the money we need from his parents, but we worry that BIL will become angry with us if we “rat him out” to his parents that his business is having money troubles. I am looking for another job currently, but I am not sure what to do.

Any advice would be appreciated!
 
Your husband needs to tell his brother that “employer to employee” would have involved an attorney by now if this wasn’t a family matter, and is going to involve one immediately if he doesn’t cough up the back wages that you are due. It is also not your business to hide his problems from anyone–that is not part of the “employer to employee” relationship.

Never agree to hide someone’s bad treatment of you. That is too much!! He can’t have his cake and eat it, too. He needs to pay you now or expect you to talk to whomever it takes to get him to do it.

I hope you find another position soon. If you and your husband remain on social terms with this manipulative brother, he is lucky to have that chance, because he has seriously betrayed your trust. The sooner you find a different employer, the better.
 
KC89 said:
Hi all.

I’ve worked for my husband’s brother for about a year now. We got married 4 months ago, and since then, he hasn’t given me a single paycheck for my work. We’ve been getting by as best we can, but our savings have run out, and now we can’t afford our bills if I don’t get a check soon.

Normally, I would just get an attorney and sue for my back wages, but this is my brother in law. When I’ve confronted him about this before, he’s said he’ll “pay me soon”. It’s been 4 months. When my husband confronted him about it, he told him that it was between us, as “employer and employee” and my husband should butt out. When I told him I would not be able to make rent if I don’t get paid, he chastised me for living paycheck to paycheck. Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck until I went without a paycheck for 4 months.

I am very frustrated, and unsure of what to do. My husband could borrow the money we need from his parents, but we worry that BIL will become angry with us if we “rat him out” to his parents that his business is having money troubles. I am looking for another job currently, but I am not sure what to do.

Any advice would be appreciated!
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You are concerned about BIL being angry for ratting him out, but he doesn’t seem to be too concerned about your feelings or the feelings of your husband. What’s he going to do, not pay you?

DGB
 
KC89 said:
Any advice would be appreciated!
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first thing you need to do is stop working for the guy. then you need to tell him you want your back salary. He is taking advantage of you now that you are ‘family’. He’s a bully and you can’t let him get away with this.

Tell your husband to read his brother the riot act. I’m betting this guy has everyone walking on eggshells.
 
KC89 said:
Hi all.

I’ve worked for my husband’s brother for about a year now. We got married 4 months ago, and since then, he hasn’t given me a single paycheck for my work. We’ve been getting by as best we can, but our savings have run out, and now we can’t afford our bills if I don’t get a check soon.

Normally, I would just get an attorney and sue for my back wages, but this is my brother in law. When I’ve confronted him about this before, he’s said he’ll “pay me soon”. It’s been 4 months. When my husband confronted him about it, he told him that it was between us, as “employer and employee” and my husband should butt out. When I told him I would not be able to make rent if I don’t get paid, he chastised me for living paycheck to paycheck. Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck until I went without a paycheck for 4 months.

I am very frustrated, and unsure of what to do. My husband could borrow the money we need from his parents, but we worry that BIL will become angry with us if we “rat him out” to his parents that his business is having money troubles. I am looking for another job currently, but I am not sure what to do.

Any advice would be appreciated!
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Do what you would do with any other employer. If your state has a labor grievance/complaint process, you should go that route too.

Your BIL demands it. 🤷
 
KC89 said:
Hi all.

I’ve worked for my husband’s brother for about a year now. We got married 4 months ago, and since then, he hasn’t given me a single paycheck for my work. We’ve been getting by as best we can, but our savings have run out, and now we can’t afford our bills if I don’t get a check soon.

Normally, I would just get an attorney and sue for my back wages, but this is my brother in law. When I’ve confronted him about this before, he’s said he’ll “pay me soon”. It’s been 4 months. When my husband confronted him about it, he told him that it was between us, as “employer and employee” and my husband should butt out. When I told him I would not be able to make rent if I don’t get paid, he chastised me for living paycheck to paycheck. Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck until I went without a paycheck for 4 months.

I am very frustrated, and unsure of what to do. My husband could borrow the money we need from his parents, but we worry that BIL will become angry with us if we “rat him out” to his parents that his business is having money troubles. I am looking for another job currently, but I am not sure what to do.

Any advice would be appreciated!
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Demand your paycheck and tell him if he doesn’t produce it within a certain amount of time (say 5 or 7 fays) you’ll take him to court and sue him for back wages. Do you realize that what he’s doing is against the labor laws and you could file not only a civil complaint (like small claims court etc.) against him but you could talk to the DA and put him in jail for it if you weren’t being nice? Then find a new job–right NOW–without waiting for him to pay… If he’s having too much financial trouble to even meet his payroll, he’s going under anyway–then what will you get from him?
 
Prayers to St.Joseph will be helpful.He is the patron of all workers.
 
What others have said is good advice. Follow a normal process to recover your wages with a lawyer or a call to the state labor agency. I’d also stop working there and look for another job full time and sign up for temp work.

I’d also tell DJ’s parents. “Do you know what’s going on with Danny’s business? He hasn’t paid me in 4 months and I’m going to have to quit. It’s really too bad.”

When you call the state also ask about rental assistance to get you over this rough patch.
 
Were you married in the Church? It seems very disturbing that your husband has let this go on for months. How old is he? Is he committed to your marriage?

catholic.com/quickquestions/what-are-sins-that-cry-to-heaven-for-vengeance-and-sins-against-the-holy-spirit
What are sins that cry to Heaven for vengeance and sins against the Holy Spirit?
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There are particular mortal sins that are so evil that they are said to be sins that cry to Heaven for vengeance: murder (Gn 4:10), sodomy (Gn 17:20-21), oppression of the poor (Ex 2:23), and defrauding workers of their just wages (James 5:4)…
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KC89 said:
Hi all.

I’ve worked for my husband’s brother for about a year now. We got married 4 months ago, and since then, he hasn’t given me a single paycheck for my work. We’ve been getting by as best we can, but our savings have run out, and now we can’t afford our bills if I don’t get a check soon.

Normally, I would just get an attorney and sue for my back wages, but this is my brother in law. When I’ve confronted him about this before, he’s said he’ll “pay me soon”. It’s been 4 months. When my husband confronted him about it, he told him that it was between us, as “employer and employee” and my husband should butt out. When I told him I would not be able to make rent if I don’t get paid, he chastised me for living paycheck to paycheck. Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck until I went without a paycheck for 4 months.

I am very frustrated, and unsure of what to do. My husband could borrow the money we need from his parents, but we worry that BIL will become angry with us if we “rat him out” to his parents that his business is having money troubles. I am looking for another job currently, but I am not sure what to do.

Any advice would be appreciated!
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Get another job. Suing probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. You can also keep him out of the house until bill is paid. Don’t be a patsy, even brothers in laws have to learn they can’t run over faimly members. But try not to be nasty about it, just be firm - and tell your husband to but out if he objects.

Linus2nd
 
Michael57 said:
Do what you would do with any other employer. If your state has a labor grievance/complaint process, you should go that route too.

Your BIL demands it. 🤷
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Exactly. You probably don’t need an attorney, go to your state labor board/workforce commission first. They’ll need the details of how many hours you’ve worked, when the pay was due, and the excuses this fool has been giving you.’
He thinks he can get away with this because he’s “family.” Don’t worry about “ratting him out,” what he’s doing is illegal and immoral. And stop working for free, right now!
 
Starrsmother said:

“If he’s having too much financial trouble to even meet his payroll, he’s going under anyway–then what will you get from him?”

Exactly. This is a huge sign of financial distress in a business–normally payroll is the last thing you keep up.

Be aggressive about repayment, as you need to beat the other creditors.

This is going to end badly for BIL, so be as nice as you can while subjecting him to the full force of the law (but his parents first–that needs to be given a try).
 
Linusthe2nd said:
Get another job. Suing probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. You can also keep him out of the house until bill is paid. Don’t be a patsy, even brothers in laws have to learn they can’t run over faimly members. But try not to be nasty about it, just be firm - and tell your husband to but out if he objects.

Linus2nd
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I suspect that an attorney in labor law would concur. If the OP knows the route to take without an attorney (which the state attorney’s office may post online, who knows?), then that will be cheaper. When an attorney is needed, though, beware going cheap against somebody who isn’t trustworthy or forthcoming.

And yes, it is better to take the tack that this is a sad situation than an infuriating one. The guy is already defensive, and when this blows over he’ll still be a brother. No reason to make things worse than he’s already making them. Do what a decent person would want you to do when they were “temporarily insane” in how they were treating you.
 
I agree with the others who basically say-- take the brother at his word.

Specifically, "…he told him that it was between us, as “employer and employee”

Treat it as strictly an employer/employee relationship in this matter. Act like you would for any other employer. Go to the labor board etc, but you may want to sit down with a lawyer to see if your employer also bears some responsibility for any interests you’ve paid, or loans you’ve taken out, damages you’ve incurred due to his failure to pay you on time.

He stated this isn’t a family matter, so don’t you treat it as one.

If your employers business were going under, you wouldn’t stick around working for free once realizing you weren’t going to get paid. You’d find another job and file the paperwork for your back pay.

Try not to get angry or emotional if the brother does. Tell him its’ strictly an employer/employee issue and nothing to do with family.
 
Dacinom said:
Welcome to CAF forums, I am very sorry that such a sad situation is what brought you here, please be assured of my prayers.

Clearly you love your brother-in-law I can see that from your post. Not only do you love him but you are willing to go broke as not to embarrass him. You even have the chance to borrow money from your in-laws, yet you don’t want to anger him so you are willing to put your own financial well-being on the line to preserve your family relationship with him. This is because you still have hope, this is admirable but I am afraid you might have to let this relationship go which will be very hard.

I understand that you are newly married and that you want your family relationships to remain intact. NO ONE wants to have a dysfunctional family…NO ONE! But the fact is very obvious that your brother-in-law is lying and using you. His business is probably going under but you already knew that. How likely is it that you could get an attorney and sue him and get anything? Someone that doesn’t pay someone for four months is in deep financial trouble, something is very wrong. He is in bad shape and probably going under. Lots of times people sue and get a judgment in their favor yet they never see a dime.

Tell your brother-in-law you are leaving at the end of the week and start packing your things. That way you can devote yourself full-time to seeking another job. You said you have been looking for work but I assume that has only been after hours here-and-there. If you quit working for him you will have more time to devote to job-seeking and interviews. You are working for free anyway, you are essentially a volunteer, time to give that up.

Also time to let the relationship go, time to accept that things will be tense for a long time. He will probably blame you and your husband if you borrow money from your in-laws and be angry. You cannot dance around this man trying to keep him from being angry with you trying to save your relationship…your relationship started to fade the minute he started using you and lying to you and blaming you and that wasn’t your fault. I am sorry you are going through this. Hope this helps a little, God bless you.
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Any creditor who knows a business is going under will get in line to get theirs before bankruptcy takes matters out of the debtor’s hands. Her BIL may lose all ability to pay her at all if she isn’t paid soon. Unlike other creditors, she won’t have the ability to write it off as business loss, either. Since the brother is maintaining that this is a business matter, do not expect that he’ll be in hurry to pay his in-laws back when he is back on his feet, either. He sounds ready to treat them like any other creditor, alas, even if that means stiffing them entirely in the end.

I think the brothers need to talk about this, and lay the cards on the table. The family owed needs to be prepared to take their legal recourse just as soon as the meeting concludes, though, should it come to that. Time may be of the essence, so they need to do their homework and be ready to exercise their best option at a moment’s notice. If the husband in this situation thinks it the right thing to do, though, the meeting can be dispensed of. Follow his lead on this. The brother-brother relationship that is being put on the line is the most valuable asset being imperiled here, but if the husband feels his brother has already thrown it away, let him decide that. Support what he wants to do, since he will be bearing the consequences with you, OP.
 
Have his parents invested in the company? Or might he go to them for assistance? In either of those cases, they deserve to know how he has treated family. And, even if they are not and will not become financially involved… It’s already a family matter, in that he refuses to treat his brother and his bride charitably, and it’s already an employee/employer matter in that he illegally refuses to pay you for you time.

Tell the parents. Tell the law. Leave and find new employment.

One day he will either acknowledge his illegal and immoral behavior and seek forgiveness and restoration of the family relationship, or he will always refuse to recognize that he was wrong on so many levels, in which case, you will be better if he stay his distance…
 
EasterJoy said:
Follow [your husband’s] lead on this. The brother-brother relationship that is being put on the line is the most valuable asset being imperiled here, but if the husband feels his brother has already thrown it away, let him decide that. Support what he wants to do, since he will be bearing the consequences with you, OP.
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I absolutely agree with this. As stressful and frustrating as this situation is, it’s also an opportunity for you to let your husband lead–let him be your husband, your protector, and your hero. 😉

Your husband deserves your respect and trust much more than any other man in your life does–whether it’s your brother, brother-in-law, father, or son. Therefore, trust his judgement and honor his wishes in this situation–even if it feels uncomfortable for you.

Besides, your husband knows his brother and his family better than you do; he will know best how to handle the situation.

However, I would suggest you let your husband know that you want to quit working for his brother and find another job, since you are not being paid, but then ask him what he thinks about it and defer to his judgement.

And be sure to pray for them both.
 
I spoke with my husband. He is going to talk to his brother about it today, and if he says he cannot pay me my back wages, then my husband will speak with his parents about borrowing the money to make ends meet while I look for a job, and tell them why. My husband made a few phone calls last night, while we were one the phone, and it’s worse than originally expected. Not only has he not paid any of the employees, he’s also been borrowing money from employees to pay for deliveries.
 
Easter Joy said:

“Time may be of the essence, so they need to do their homework and be ready to exercise their best option at a moment’s notice.”

Exactly. Do not delay.

KC89 said:

“Not only has he not paid any of the employees, he’s also been borrowing money from employees to pay for deliveries.”

At least you guys haven’t lent him money.

It doesn’t sound like there’s any money, but definitely get yourself in line so that when the business is liquidated, you will get an appropriate share.

BIL’s dream is dying, so speak to him with as much sympathy as you can muster, but protect your interests.
 
KC89 said:
I spoke with my husband. He is going to talk to his brother about it today, and if he says he cannot pay me my back wages, then my husband will speak with his parents about borrowing the money to make ends meet while I look for a job, and tell them why. My husband made a few phone calls last night, while we were one the phone, and it’s worse than originally expected. Not only has he not paid any of the employees, he’s also been borrowing money from employees to pay for deliveries.
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This is not at all good. Your husband has a good plan - be prepared to never get paid that money. Hopefully your inlaws are not also losing money on the business.

The economy is not recovering at all quickly. I feel sorry for your bil to lose his business, but he should have figured out finances and looked for help before withholding payroll!

I will pray for your family.
 
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