Withholding a sin from confession - question

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1John

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I recently went to confession, mainly due to my struggle with masturbation and pornography. My brain has normalized them so much, the two go together hand in hand. I wasn’t quite sure how to confess them so I said “Impure thoughts and acts”. After I was done confessing my other sins, the priest asked me to elaborate on what I meant. He said, “do you mean sex outside of marriage, masturbation, pornography, etc.” I was extremely embarrassed and it caught me off guard. I murmured out “masturbation” and he asked if I used pornography as well. My heart was racing and I panicked and said no. He counseled me, absolved me of my sins, and I left and did my penance. As I got to my car, I instantly felt guilty about not telling the whole truth. I came to this website, and found out that apparently the whole confession is invalid if you withhold a sin. Now I am panicking. Did my confession count? During the examination of conscience prior to my confession, I had NO intention of withholding the sin, matter of fact, during the confession I meant to include pornography as “lust, and impure thoughts/acts”. It was truly the heat of the moment and I would do anything to take it back. Going to confession right again though is kind of difficult because I am a teenager and my parents would be very suspicious if I went to confession the following day. (They’re unaware of the situation) If this sin ever occurs in the future (I don’t plan on it and I am on a streak) I now know the proper way of confessing it.

Thank you.
 
In my opinion your confession was invalid because you withheld a mortal sin and then denied to the priest doing this sin. Do not worry though, go back as soon as you can and be brave and make a good confession. Do not worry, the priest has heard it all before. God be with you.

PS if you can go on a public message board and talk of these sins, it should be much more easier with a priest who has the compassion of Christ.
 
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So even though I had it written down and thoroughly thought about it during the examination of conscience, with no intention of it being withheld, the confession is still invalid? Also, as I stated I truly meant it when I confessed it with “Impure thoughts/acts”. It puts me in a really difficult situation, especially with lent coming up 😦
 
What you did before had was good, and your heart seems very contrite, but one cannot withhold a mortal sin, otherwise the sacrament is invalid. No worries if it is the season of lent, dont go to Communion, just get back to confession and then you can go to Communion.

With grave sins like that you have to be more specific. Not overly specific but you have to state what the sin actually is.
 
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And that’s why again, never just say “impure acts” because that does not describe the necessary species of sin. That could mean anything.

Say it outright: pornography and masturbation. Gory details are not necessary, but the kind of sin is.

Bring those back to Confession and mention this sacrilegious confession as well. I don’t buy any reasoning that “panicked” is a sufficient excuse to withhold this sin.
 
So absolutely nothing was forgiven? Will I also need to mention the other venial sins I confessed at this confession?
 
And heres a hypothetical - The roads are terrible in the winter where I live right now, if I drive to confession and get into a crash and die, will I go straight to hell? I apologize for all the questions I am just having a difficult time taking this all in. Please pray for me.
 
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I dont know if the other sins were forgiven. I would say no, but not sure. You can confess your venial sins but I would concentrate on the mortal sins at this point.

If you have perfect contrition and die on the way to confession you can be forgiven.

Looking this up online, it seems like an invalid confession means it never happened, so be sure to confess all your mortal sins.

Do not worry, your heart seems like it is right with God, seems like you are truly sorry.
 
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1John said:
So absolutely nothing was forgiven? Will I also need to mention the other venial sins I confessed at this confession?
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Nothing was forgiven and you may have incurred an additional mortal sin (“may have” because I don’t judge the second and third criteria). Venial sins do not need to be confessed to begin with, but all mortal sins do, so whether or not you reconfess your venial sins is up to you. All mortal sins need to be confessed in kind (not “kinda”) and number.
 
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LittleFlower378 said:
Do not worry, your heart seems like it is right with God, seems like you are truly sorry.
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But God ordained the Sacrament as the ordinary form of remitting mortal sins and has given the Church to govern it. He used his embarrassment to withhold a mortal sin. One whose heart is truly right with God will do properly what God has set before us. That’s why perfect contrition always comes with it the intention to confess at the soonest opportunity.
 
No Im with you on this. He needs to go to confession asap. It just seems like he is overly worried, thats why I say for him not to worry and go to confession.
 
related question. how specific do you have to be in confession? If you gossip about 10 people, do you have to specify each thing you said about 10 people or can you just summarize (“I gossiped about 10 people”)? Is it a case where the more detail you provide, the more forgiveness you receive?
 
Forgiveness is not tied to how many details you provide. If that was the case, then one person would be taking up the entire hour allotted for weekly confessions.

Just say, “I gossiped about 10 people” or “I gossiped 10 times” or whatever. If the priest needs a detail, he’ll ask. Likely, he won’t ask.
 
1John said:
I recently went to confession, mainly due to my struggle with masturbation and pornography. My brain has normalized them so much, the two go together hand in hand. I wasn’t quite sure how to confess them so I said “Impure thoughts and acts”. After I was done confessing my other sins, the priest asked me to elaborate on what I meant. He said, “do you mean sex outside of marriage, masturbation, pornography, etc.” I was extremely embarrassed and it caught me off guard. I murmured out “masturbation” and he asked if I used pornography as well. My heart was racing and I panicked and said no. He counseled me, absolved me of my sins, and I left and did my penance. As I got to my car, I instantly felt guilty about not telling the whole truth. I came to this website, and found out that apparently the whole confession is invalid if you withhold a sin. Now I am panicking. Did my confession count? During the examination of conscience prior to my confession, I had NO intention of withholding the sin, matter of fact, during the confession I meant to include pornography as “lust, and impure thoughts/acts”. It was truly the heat of the moment and I would do anything to take it back. Going to confession right again though is kind of difficult because I am a teenager and my parents would be very suspicious if I went to confession the following day. (They’re unaware of the situation) If this sin ever occurs in the future (I don’t plan on it and I am on a streak) I now know the proper way of confessing it.

Thank you.
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This sounds more like a mistake just blurted out in the moment and not something that was deliberately withheld to get absolution (which invalidates your confession). But I would still return to confession anyway ASAP and make it right.
 
The only difference is, is that I thought I was confessing it in the proper manner. As I stated, my brain has kind of clumped both things together because they go hand in hand for me and I thought improper thoughts/acts covered both of them. It was when he got specific I froze up and panicked. If the sins come again, I will confess them in the appropriate manner. I am just confused because if confession is between me and God, wouldn’t he understand what I was saying and see my regret and willingness to avoid the occasion of the sin?
 
1John said:
The only difference is, is that I thought I was confessing it in the proper manner. As I stated, my brain has kind of clumped both things together because they go hand in hand for me and I thought improper thoughts/acts covered both of them. It was when he got specific I froze up and panicked. If the sins come again, I will confess them in the appropriate manner. I am just confused because if confession is between me and God, wouldn’t he understand what I was saying and see my regret and willingness to avoid the occasion of the sin?
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Yes, Confession is between you and God, but in the person of the priest (in persona Christi). The priest sits there not only to absolve you but as also as a judge of the sacred tribunal. The priest himself, the human being, needs to know what you have done so as to properly counsel you, to directly remit your sins, or at worst, to determine if he needs to withhold absolution.

Do not try to weasel away from this. Intentional or not, this was not a good confession, and I do not believe you are currently disposed to approach Holy Communion. I will leave the subjective culpability to God, but those sins need to be mentioned again, as well as what happened.

There is no reason or excuse to panic in the Confessional. Lying is not a way out of it.
 
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Ouch. Exactly what I didn’t want to hear. However, I really appreciate you telling me this straight forward, without sugar coating it. The nearest time I would be able to go to reconciliation is during the following week. I think it’s going to be a pretty awkward situation when I am the only one in my family remaining in the pew during Communion.
 
1John said:
Ouch. Exactly what I didn’t want to hear. However, I really appreciate you telling me this straight forward, without sugar coating it. The nearest time I would be able to go to reconciliation is during the following week. I think it’s going to be a pretty awkward situation when I am the only one in my family remaining in the pew during Communion.
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Then stay in the pew. And if the family gets nosy, the answer is “I am not properly disposed” and that’s the end of it. And if they press the issue, repeat the same answer with a firmer tone. That is all you need to say. And perhaps, drink coffee or juice or munch a candy well into a time you know you will not make the one-hour Eucharistic fast (like, five minutes before Mass). Then you have another excuse: I did not fast one hour before Communion.

My bet is that it will not be as awkward as you fear.
 
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God knows your heart. I think you are good. Next time you go, just make sure you are more specific because apparently, that is what the priest wants.
 
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