Wives, do you know what your DH do at work?(vice versa)

[samcarter14]

My husband is a professor of electrical engineering; his area of interest is electro-optics and imaging. He has a MA and a PhD in engineering.

I have a BA in psychology, a MA in English, and I am also an artist and illustrator.

We still find stuff to talk about. When he was working on his dissertation, he built a telescope from scratch and was working on algorithms to tighten the images of Jupiter. He was showing me the differences in the images, using lots of technical language, and I turned to him and said, “So you make the pictures prettier, right?”

Do not be embarassed to admit that you’re not a math brain, that the kind of math he does is not as comprehensible to you. Very often I sit and listen to DH talk about his latest project, and he’s learned to make the language a little simpler and more accessible for me.

Edited to add: he is currently writing a textbook and I am working on the illustrations and proofreading the text, so we’re able to work together even if we don’t always speak the same language. If you are going into printing, and he eventually wants to write books in his field, you may be able to collaborate on projects.

 

[ChristinaM]

When I read the title I thought this might be a thread about viewing porn at work! Happy to see it is something more benign.

My DH and I are both engineers, too although in different specialty areas. He is an engineer in a steel mill and I am working on a Ph.D. in bioengineering. He knows a lot about materials engineering, and some of my work is related to that, so we can discuss my work easily (although he doesn’t always get the biology parts). He also explains some of his work to me and I find it very interesting.

 

[msugeotech]

Dang, all you “smart” engineers on here. I’m just a dumb geotechnical engineer, which is a fancy word for “plays with dirt”. My wife’s an accountant, so we can talk numbers, they just have different meanings. But, she does know and somewhat understand what I do, and I understand her work duties as well. We just don’t talk much shop at home either.

 

[Polaris]

That is harsh. I personally don’t want to talk about work when I’m at home. I focus on my family and not on work. I work to live, not live to work. When I’m with my family, I want to spend and talk about family things, not work things. I have no expectation that my wife should learn the details of what I do. Before you start making judgements, just remember that different things work for different people.

Actually I did edit myself, I was going to be a lot harsher, mostly against the American education system. Yet there is a difference in this case, you “work to live”, this man is not “working to live”. He is doing what he loves, one does not go through years of poverty and self denial to “work to live” with a mediocre paying job, his work is a love, a part of him, it is something more. He is playing an integral role building a step in human knowledge that will serve for generations. Even if it crumbles, it still served its purpose to get to the next step. This is a love for all mankind.

Also if your kids are still young enough, start telling them they can do what ever they want as long as they are happy. My parents did this and supported us in whatever we chose to do and we all love our jobs today. Why should you or your children be depressed for 12 hours a day when they can be happy and fulfilled 24hrs a day. Family is only a small part of a life. The majority of it is, gods greatest gift, work …and his second sleep .

 

[basilisk]

When I read the title I thought this might be a thread about viewing porn at work! Happy to see it is something more benign.

Why on God’s green Earth would that be the first thing you think of?

I have a BA in Political Science, and have been a SAH wife & mother since the beginning of our marriage. He has a BA in Business Admin and currently works as an accountant for a non-profit. His life is all math and numbers all day… I am good at math, but terrible at economics. I had to drop the bonehead econ class in college because I was going to flunk it! I know he has procedures he has to follow, laws he must be familiar with, and the extra considerations of working in non-profit. He also has to contend with people in the organization who disregard basic accounting procedure and make his life difficult every day.

I actually understand little of what he does day to day. When he was in the Air Force, I understood much less for security reasons. When he was responsible for missile silo security throughout much of the northern U.S., I told him I didn’t WANT to know about his job! Gave me the willies, thinking about that much responsibility…

Know what? He understands little of my day to day, too. When he cares for the kids on his own, he gets through it knowing he doesn’t have to do it everyday. He loves them and enjoys being with them, but he doesn’t have the patience to deal with the nuttiness children are capable of. Stuff I see as normal and run-of-the-mill makes him go crazy… he is grateful not to have my job and has said many times he doesn’t know how I do it.

We don’t need to know every detail of every minute to be committed and united as a family.

 

[ChristinaM]

Why on God’s green Earth would that be the first thing you think of?

Apparently because my mind is in the gutter. That, and we have dozens of threads about husbands with porn problems.

 

[Just_wondering]

When I read the title I thought this might be a thread about viewing porn at work! Happy to see it is something more benign.

Yeah, I wondered if it would be some doom-and-gloom “I lost my husband to the vampy secretary; how sure are you of yours?” thread. I’m pleased to see it’s not.

I teach English language (not literature) and my boyfriend has rarely asked me specifics about what I do. Part of that may be that he learned English as a second language, so he’s probably pretty sure what my job entails. Either that or he doesn’t want to open the “English teacher correcting my grammar” can of worms. I’m happy to tell him stories of the funny things the kids said that day, though.

When he was a printing press operator, I knew the mechanics of what he did because my parents used to work in publishing, and because I visited the factory a few times and could visualize the process. Also because I like knowing stuff. Now he’s working for the police, and I’m not exactly sure what he does, but I have the excuse that I haven’t seen him in person since he got the job. I do hear about his score on the firing range, though.

 

[Anne1964]

My husband has a degree in computer science and is a computer systems engineer. I have a degree in sociology/criminal justice and am a criminal justice planner. We both work for state government so we have lively discussions about government bureaucracy, politics, etc…

We have both learned quite a bit about each other’s jobs. My husband has accompanied me on out of town business trips to meetings (part of the meetings are open to the public), and I have seen where my husband works and have a pretty good idea of what he does. We ask each other a lot of questions. It’s fun learning about each others’ jobs.

 

[SMHW]

When I read the title I thought this might be a thread about viewing porn at work! Happy to see it is something more benign.

I admit to thinking the same kind of thing. Maybe not porn specifically… but something that a husband could only get away with when away from watchful eyes at home.

 

[KathyA]

DH is an electrician who is not terribly excited about his job. It’s tough. I always ask about his day…where he worked, anything interesting happen, etc. He always gives me the same line…same stuff, a different day. I so wish that he could find satisfaction in his job…since him NOT having a job is not an option!

I work as support staff in law enforcement. I deal with all kinds of stuff every day, so always have plenty to share with DH. Our kids are also kind of spread out…19, 17 and 4. The oldest is in college, away from home. The middle one is working very hard at getting into the Naval Academy. The youngest just wants to play with cars and Legos…even in church! So, we have a variety of life situations to talk about!

Kathy

 

[Catholic_89]

Hello,
I am in math too! What a coincidence. Anyways, I am not married, but I have a wonderful girlfriend who I am waiting to marry. Even though the material I cover is not so normal, I still hope that one day we can talk about projects we are working on at work, or problems we encountered in our fields. I think it will be nice sharing those experiences. I enjoyed reading all the stories you married people had. Some good and wise advice in there. God bless.

 

[maryjk]

There is nothing like your DH being out of work, to teach you what he does. Mine was out of work for a year.

By about the sixth month mark, I could field calls from the head hunters. Yes, he is an EE. Yes, analog. Yes, some digital. I would know key words. Like circuit boards. Systems. No, not for buildings. No, not for houses. Yes, he will relocate.

After listening to him for 17 years (now), I know when things are great at work and when he is having a bad time of it. I know about capacitors, even if I can’t spell it.

I am a stay at home, home schooling Mom. A couple of years ago, I had surgery. I was on crutches for 9 weeks. DH learned all about what I do.

 

[Jay53]

DH and I are both in funeral service and work for the same funeral home so, Yes, we know what each other does at work. It was funny because we met at our last job and then got married right after I got my current job. When DH was offered a position at the same firm one of my coworkers said he gave us a year and we would either be divorced or one of us would change jobs. That was 12 years ago.

 

[purelovemmc]

Hello,
I am in math too! What a coincidence. Anyways, I am not married, but I have a wonderful girlfriend who I am waiting to marry. Even though the material I cover is not so normal, I still hope that one day we can talk about projects we are working on at work, or problems we encountered in our fields. I think it will be nice sharing those experiences. I enjoyed reading all the stories you married people had. Some good and wise advice in there. God bless.

So many people are doing Math in here. LOL. Anyways, what does your gf do?

 

[Catholic_89]

So many people are doing Math in here. LOL. Anyways, what does your gf do?

Well math is a good subject . My girlfriend is in the Graphic Communication Management course at Ryerson University. She basically takes courses like print media, printing processes, accounting, binding and finishing,etc. It deals with all the aspects of printing including management skills. She is really good at too. Doesn’t the program sound like something you would want to be in? …well I settled with math. God bless

 

[teme]

I’m pretty sure DW doesn’t know the specifics of my job - but she checks in to see what I’ve been posting off and on - so maybe Rose will comment

Not to highjack the thread - but I don’t share many specific details with her for worry it would bore her. She understands the basics of what I do - oversee all online business for a medium-sized media company - essentially “make sure the company makes the most money online as possible”. One day I showed her the printouts from one of the division’s budget meetings, and she didn’t make it to page 2 of 28. How much do the wives want to know?

 

[purelovemmc]

I’m pretty sure DW doesn’t know the specifics of my job - but she checks in to see what I’ve been posting off and on - so maybe Rose will comment

Not to highjack the thread - but I don’t share many specific details with her for worry it would bore her. She understands the basics of what I do - oversee all online business for a medium-sized media company - essentially “make sure the company makes the most money online as possible”. One day I showed her the printouts from one of the division’s budget meetings, and she didn’t make it to page 2 of 28. How much do the wives want to know?

At least she made it to page 1.
I can’t even try to read the math book of my bf.

 

[AHapka]

Me and my wife used to work together in college, so we knew for sure what we did!

I’m now a deputy and she’s a teacher. The most interesting conversations are when I come home and say “just so you know in advance, so-and-so won’t be making it to school tomorrow…”

But, as in any job, some things can only be discussed with those who do the job too and understand. Cause until you do it, you don’t really understand what it’s like.

At least we are both very good with people who complain

 

[redtech]

I usually ask during dinner just to be polite but he usually doesnt give a very energetic answer. I actually try not to know what he does. He’s a farmer. Yes, Not nearly as cool as all the scientists and engineers on here but what I didn’t realize when I married him was that farming is one of the most dangerous jobs you can do. I was a lot more interested in it until one day I came home and found he’d been dragged underneath a tractor and nearly run over… at night… with no one else around. Apparently, he was doing something under the tractor while it was running an auger or something and it slipped into gear and caught his pants. The auger eventually killed the tractor just before the tractor killed my husband. He had to wait there until one of the other hands came around to hear him scream. They had to take the wheels off that side of the tractor to get him loose.

I work in IT at a hospital. He barely knows how to turn a computer on. We don’t talk about work much. When we do, we talk about the co-workers mostly.

 

[Em_in_FL]

DH and I are both in funeral service and work for the same funeral home so, Yes, we know what each other does at work. It was funny because we met at our last job and then got married right after I got my current job. When DH was offered a position at the same firm one of my coworkers said he gave us a year and we would either be divorced or one of us would change jobs. That was 12 years ago.

Do you consider it a dead-end job?


Sorry… my grandfather’s humor is shining through… God rest his soul!

(I promise I’m not mocking you… my BIL was in the funeral business and it’s a difficult job I truly admire - I hope you don’t take offense! )